My Mysterious 30 day challange -join in if you like.

[missbhaven]

The reason I've named this my "mysterious" challenge is because I am keeping with the theory of not telling anyone... what I am saying that is. I don't mind laying out the format for you.

I've decided to keep it simple. I have 1 intention that I would like to fold into a belief. I've worked this intention into an affirmation and an afformation.

My affirmation: I am doing everything in my power to _____________, so I can ____________ in ways that benefit all forms of existence.

My afformation: Will I continue to do everything in my power to _____________, so I can ____________ in ways that benefit all forms of existence?



I am reaching for sky here in those little blanks. Not because I lack faith of actually achieving it but will be happy with moderate success. No, because I am thinking of the general big picture at the end. The first blank is a really big outlandish goal I would like to achieve and the second blank is basically why, if asking for my benefit why not go big and ask for everyone's

What I want to do is start the core buildings of a belief so I can be doing everything in my power to achieve this goal.
Now my plan is simply whenever my mind starts to wander and when I have spare time, I will start repeating my affirmation and afformation. I have also decided on a minimum of 20 a day.

I will be recording my daily progress here (Just so I feel like I've reported to someone you know... Aye! Aye! Captain!), my thoughts when dealing with the dual affirmation afformation technique, any profound changes in my spirituality or physical environment.




Should you Decide to join in, the good thing about the mysteriousness is you can try to bring about that secret desire or go way beyond you would normally feel comfortable in asking and be a lil greedy, because who is going to tell? Well, only you... if you say them out loud when people are around

Hope ya'll ready for my 30 days of updates

[hamworld05]

Why do you feel the need to not tell anyone your goals?

I talk about my goal to be a professional basketball player all the time and I'm not going any backwards.

[missbhaven]

Some people do not state goals because they have feelings of doubt themselves, which is reflected in their environment. Some goals can be fragile. Especially if you may not have the most motivating/supporting environment, also the extremeness/largeness of a big goal can be seen as overly daunting and completely unrealistic.

The purpose is to build your own confidence/passion to get you to a point where the environmental factors don't matter (friends laughing at your idea saying it's silly, lack of physical fitness or attained knowledge or skills). You are building your own support system internally before reflecting to the exterior world for guidance and support.

Really is your goal to be a professional basketball player your biggest deepest goal you would like to see come true? You don't have a couple of goals that are too big, or just not feasible based on today's technology, or to far in the future, that you haven't mentioned to anyone? That's the basis of this "mysterious" goal.

Many of us have underlying feelings of fear, embarassment, not wanting to be seen as too greedy, or inadequacy that stops us from saying out loud the really big goals that we have kicking around in our brains.

During the 30 days of this trail, the mysteriousness is used as a secret selfishness. The aim is to cause you to turn internally with the repetitiveness of the affirmations and afformations to examine your goal and build your own foundation of beliefs to achieve it in the longterm or big haul.
I'll use an analogy
The exclusion of the external environment is to purely feed the flames of desire. Right now we may not have fire creating flames in our firepit, instead we have sparks of interest. By keeping it a "secret" (during my 30 day trail) I hope to concentrate my sparks into a small area (myself). Eventually the sparks of interest will combine and start a makings of a flame. With this flame I can now attract things to my firepit because the flame has produced light, The light is an announcement that something is going on. And once there is light you'll see that things interested in light will see it and come. Neighbors come over to socialize, help you to feed the fire. Next thing you know the fire's soo big, neighbors are cooking on it; then next thing you know you got a festival of good eats and food around the fire. And when the festival is done, many take pieces of that flame to guide them on their journey.

I guess the point the point of the analogy is you can begin your journey at the beginning by creating your own fire which you may have to do secretly until you are stable to support, feed and eventually lead others on your vision. Or you can be like those at the end using another's flame to guide your journey. I am choosing to go from the start because I really want to get to the root of WHY? I want to see that is really MY want.

But it is also to put myself outside my comfort zone.
Based on any one of the feelings I have listed above, I don't typically ask for BIG things. So I figured they say don't be afraid to ask big, why should I be afraid when the only person who will hear is the one I am asking?
Which is why I encourage others to do the trial also... forget all the limitations that exist around it. See the end big picture of the final result and insert that image into the 1st blank. We ask for small insignificant things all the time. Why not ask for something soo big now , especially if you don't see it being a pressing need for something in your life now.

[hamworld05]

Originally Posted by missbhaven

Some people do not state goals because they have feelings of doubt themselves, which is reflected in their environment. Some goals can be fragile. Especially if you may not have the most motivating/supporting environment, also the extremeness/largeness of a big goal can be seen as overly daunting and completely unrealistic.

The purpose is to build your own confidence/passion to get you to a point where the environmental factors don't matter (friends laughing at your idea saying it's silly, lack of physical fitness or attained knowledge or skills). You are building your own support system internally before reflecting to the exterior world for guidance and support.

Really is your goal to be a professional basketball player your biggest deepest goal you would like to see come true? You don't have a couple of goals that are too big, or just not feasible based on today's technology, or to far in the future, that you haven't mentioned to anyone? That's the basis of this "mysterious" goal.

Many of us have underlying feelings of fear, embarassment, not wanting to be seen as too greedy, or inadequacy that stops us from saying out loud the really big goals that we have kicking around in our brains.

During the 30 days of this trail, the mysteriousness is used as a secret selfishness. The aim is to cause you to turn internally with the repetitiveness of the affirmations and afformations to examine your goal and build your own foundation of beliefs to achieve it in the longterm or big haul.
I'll use an analogy
The exclusion of the external environment is to purely feed the flames of desire. Right now we may not have fire creating flames in our firepit, instead we have sparks of interest. By keeping it a "secret" (during my 30 day trail) I hope to concentrate my sparks into a small area (myself). Eventually the sparks of interest will combine and start a makings of a flame. With this flame I can now attract things to my firepit because the flame has produced light, The light is an announcement that something is going on. And once there is light you'll see that things interested in light will see it and come. Neighbors come over to socialize, help you to feed the fire. Next thing you know the fire's soo big, neighbors are cooking on it; then next thing you know you got a festival of good eats and food around the fire. And when the festival is done, many take pieces of that flame to guide them on their journey.

I guess the point the point of the analogy is you can begin your journey at the beginning by creating your own fire which you may have to do secretly until you are stable to support, feed and eventually lead others on your vision. Or you can be like those at the end using another's flame to guide your journey. I am choosing to go from the start because I really want to get to the root of WHY? I want to see that is really MY want.

But it is also to put myself outside my comfort zone.
Based on any one of the feelings I have listed above, I don't typically ask for BIG things. So I figured they say don't be afraid to ask big, why should I be afraid when the only person who will hear is the one I am asking?
Which is why I encourage others to do the trial also... forget all the limitations that exist around it. See the end big picture of the final result and insert that image into the 1st blank. We ask for small insignificant things all the time. Why not ask for something soo big now , especially if you don't see it being a pressing need for something in your life now.

These mysterious goals you keep talking about sound pointless to go after without gaining some momentum first.

Why should I try to be a billionaire if I'm not making millions of dollars?

Why should I try to make sweet love to my celebrity crush if I don't have the money to send her husband to heaven?

[missbhaven]

Originally Posted by hamworld05

These mysterious goals you keep talking about sound pointless to go after without gaining some momentum first.

Why should I try to be a billionaire if I'm not making millions of dollars?

Why should I try to make sweet love to my celebrity crush if I don't have the money to send her husband to heaven?

To some it may seem pointless because of you are thinking of "the how".
Look at the line I bolded.
You try because it really is your end goal.
"The how" tells you: you must be doing this for this to happen.
As I said in my last post, because of whatever feelings of limitation we may have, we aim a little lower to see if it's possible. We tend to keep the big desires to ourselves.
The pointlessness comes from the feeling you have to ask for (or in my case build the belief that you do have) the ability to make millions of dollars before you feel comfortable to come with your billionaire intention.
However, if you are asking to be (or building the belief that you are) a billionaire, you will cross each hurdle (like making a million dollars) as they come at you since your true end goal is in sight.
You talk about building momentum that is exactly what I am doing. I am building it internally by creating a belief that I feel comfortable with so I get the momentum going to make these things happen externally.
I can sit and wait for life to provide with the right circumstances to progress bit by bit only looking at what is presented directly in front of me then, but really where does that desire to be more come from? Isn’t I who decides what it is I want and if I believe I can achieve it. What motivates the desire so you can choose what is continuously presented in front of you?

If you don't mind... I was wondering...
How did your process of wanting to be a professional basketball player come about?
Was it based on the all training/classes/equipment that was a readily available option at those moments, or a desire to keep playing this particular sport repetitively, increasing your skills?
Your first recollection of wanting this goal, what was it? Was it a quick vision of you holding up the championship cup? How advanced in your basketball game were you then, is it possible you could've barely dribbled the ball?
But did lack of skills stop the sparks of interest from combining into a flame that fouled the desire to make choices that would lead to the eventuality of this goal?




Ok

Day 1
Last night, it was easier for me to repeat my affirmations and afformations in a meditative state.
Today however, as I was going about the day, I tripped over words, lost focus often, I even had a bit of a hard time making it into music.
When I sat and was in a comfortable position and could simply focus on my words, I noticed that my body was tensing at the words. Bristling as if ready to object, it took many times of slowing down and untensing my body.
It's been more of an effort today to continue on with my affirmation and afformations as I go about my daily routine.
I will able to comment tomorrow if it was just the day or the lack of a deeper meditative state.

[hamworld05]

Originally Posted by missbhaven

To some it may seem pointless because of you are thinking of "the how".
Look at the line I bolded.
You try because it really is your end goal.
"The how" tells you: you must be doing this for this to happen.
As I said in my last post, because of whatever feelings of limitation we may have, we aim a little lower to see if it's possible. We tend to keep the big desires to ourselves.
The pointlessness comes from the feeling you have to ask for (or in my case build the belief that you do have) the ability to make millions of dollars before you feel comfortable to come with your billionaire intention.
However, if you are asking to be (or building the belief that you are) a billionaire, you will cross each hurdle (like making a million dollars) as they come at you since your true end goal is in sight.
You talk about building momentum that is exactly what I am doing. I am building it internally by creating a belief that I feel comfortable with so I get the momentum going to make these things happen externally.
I can sit and wait for life to provide with the right circumstances to progress bit by bit only looking at what is presented directly in front of me then, but really where does that desire to be more come from? Isn’t I who decides what it is I want and if I believe I can achieve it. What motivates the desire so you can choose what is continuously presented in front of you?

If you don't mind... I was wondering...
How did your process of wanting to be a professional basketball player come about?
Was it based on the all training/classes/equipment that was a readily available option at those moments, or a desire to keep playing this particular sport repetitively, increasing your skills?
Your first recollection of wanting this goal, what was it? Was it a quick vision of you holding up the championship cup? How advanced in your basketball game were you then, is it possible you could've barely dribbled the ball?
But did lack of skills stop the sparks of interest from combining into a flame that fouled the desire to make choices that would lead to the eventuality of this goal?




Ok

Day 1
Last night, it was easier for me to repeat my affirmations and afformations in a meditative state.
Today however, as I was going about the day, I tripped over words, lost focus often, I even had a bit of a hard time making it into music.
When I sat and was in a comfortable position and could simply focus on my words, I noticed that my body was tensing at the words. Bristling as if ready to object, it took many times of slowing down and untensing my body.
It's been more of an effort today to continue on with my affirmation and afformations as I go about my daily routine.
I will able to comment tomorrow if it was just the day or the lack of a deeper meditative state.

*sigh* You can talk about other people all you want, missbhaven. I will never, ever understand what the hell is up with them.

I dig that you're curious about me. I love it when people ask me questions.

Mmm. One day, I was playing basketball with either a homie or a cousin(I forget). I was like "Ugh. I have to stop sucking at basketball." So I'm googling "how to be a better basketball player" and stuff like that. Then I come across this basketball website that looks like it was designed by God for me.

I never wanted to be a professional basketball player before I looked at this website. It promised everything I could ever do/have in basketball. It promised to teach me how to be a good ball handler, a good shooter, a good passer, a good defender and a good rebounder. It promised to teach me how to be an elite basketball player.

Now before I looked at this website, I had a vague idea of what pro ballers are like(I've watched some NBA games, played some NBA 2k10). But when I first looked at the website I didn't immediately fall in love with it. I read the basic beginner tips I first found.

When I was done skimming, it asked me to sign up for a newsletter. I was like "Hell yeah." I was already subscribing to a boatload of newsltetters back then. Then it tells me "Download 2 free basketball reports." Cool. Then there was a link to this page. I clicked it.

OMG. It was beautiful. It's still beautiful. I was getting more and more excited the closer I was to finish reading it. Reading it is like watching that scene in Beowulf with the hot, evil chick. So promising. So beautiful.

I fell in love with the idea of being a professional basketball player. I'm still in love with it. Every day after that, I tried so hard to learn more, to be a better player while not having access to the info it promised me. Right now, I am very close to preparing to get access to it(Ma promised me a bank account with money to send to my Paypal account). Every once a day while in that phase of "Whoa I just found cool stuff" I looked at that page again and again. I read it slowly, quickly trying to absorb everything.

I know everything I know about basketball now because all I wanted to do was just stop sucking at basketball.

[missbhaven]

Ok I just want to get it straight here.
Your story goes:
1. I decided to stop sucking at basketball
2. I focused my energy on this and started searching
3. I found knowledge which created the belief I could be good at basketball
4. I formulated my goal.

Sorry, is there a prequel missing?
I feel your story starts much further than point 1.
Why?
What motivated you to say "Okay it's time to stop sucking at basketball."?
I mean, you could have used many other activities you may have in your life to stop sucking at, but you choose to focus your thoughts on basketball and say it is time to give it more of me.

See from the looks at your story, only after you consciously make the decision to stop sucking at basketball do you feel it begins. Maybe that's why, to you, it seems pointless to state the goal unless you have momentum. You are only conscious of it at that point and the goal is already making its steps to be achieved.
But what started that momentum?

From your post it seems that you had a history of making decisions around basketball. You can't remember if you were playing with a cousin or friend, indicating multiple people you play with, that are lots of yeses to basketball. Why did you KEEP playing? What motivated your choices to keep basketball in the forefront? Are you telling me that PLAYING basketball was your ONLY option in every instance?

Could it be subconsciously you may have set up a goal to be a basketball player, but based on your own "lack/limitations" that you didn't see it as being possible? Only once that possibility seems feasible, do you feel comfortable to ask/state your goal.

My quest is to see if I can create a process that creates that momentum so I can identify a goal I do desire consciously. The secretness is due to the fact that I want to create the momentum where internally, I don't need the external factor going smooth to say yeah this is good so just roll with it. If I don't feel the belief is achievable, the reflection of the external will be dominated with those who tell me it isn't achievable. This is why I don’t tell. I building the momentum so I can have my own will and drive to consciously say; "Ok it's time to stop sucking at this!"




Day 2
So far I've done 1/4 of my A+A's during my morning mediation. (5 each at breakfast, lunch, dinner and bed time)
What I've noticed is when I am calm and settled in a good meditation mode it is much easier (like my before bed and morning meditations). It's like I can feel swirls coming around me as I do it (maybe because in how I describe what I am doing of the sparks of interest combining into a flame of desire) causing things in the center to get closer.
And yesterday when dealing with my A+A's in the external realities (compared to the mantras I've done before in this form), I felt a lot of tension when reciting them, and it took a lot of work to relax areas. Especially my tongue, I feel that soon I'll be communicating with myself the reasons for the tension, it still felt like they (my cells) were murmuring in disagreement but none wanted to speak up yet.
My goal today and for the rest of the weekend is to work on that tension I experienced when reciting my A+A's. So that I can identify and then smooth all concerns in relations with this goal.

I'm off to my father-in-law’s farm for the weekend. See you all on Monday with my updates.
The chatterbox is out! Have a great weekend guys!

[hamworld05]

Originally Posted by missbhaven

Ok I just want to get it straight here.
Your story goes:
1. I decided to stop sucking at basketball
2. I focused my energy on this and started searching
3. I found knowledge which created the belief I could be good at basketball
4. I formulated my goal.

Sorry, is there a prequel missing?
I feel your story starts much further than point 1.
Why?
What motivated you to say "Okay it's time to stop sucking at basketball."?
I mean, you could have used many other activities you may have in your life to stop sucking at, but you choose to focus your thoughts on basketball and say it is time to give it more of me.

See from the looks at your story, only after you consciously make the decision to stop sucking at basketball do you feel it begins. Maybe that's why, to you, it seems pointless to state the goal unless you have momentum. You are only conscious of it at that point and the goal is already making its steps to be achieved.
But what started that momentum?

From your post it seems that you had a history of making decisions around basketball. You can't remember if you were playing with a cousin or friend, indicating multiple people you play with, that are lots of yeses to basketball. Why did you KEEP playing? What motivated your choices to keep basketball in the forefront? Are you telling me that PLAYING basketball was your ONLY option in every instance?

Could it be subconsciously you may have set up a goal to be a basketball player, but based on your own "lack/limitations" that you didn't see it as being possible? Only once that possibility seems feasible, do you feel comfortable to ask/state your goal.

My quest is to see if I can create a process that creates that momentum so I can identify a goal I do desire consciously. The secretness is due to the fact that I want to create the momentum where internally, I don't need the external factor going smooth to say yeah this is good so just roll with it. If I don't feel the belief is achievable, the reflection of the external will be dominated with those who tell me it isn't achievable. This is why I don’t tell. I building the momentum so I can have my own will and drive to consciously say; "Ok it's time to stop sucking at this!"




Day 2
So far I've done 1/4 of my A+A's during my morning mediation. (5 each at breakfast, lunch, dinner and bed time)
What I've noticed is when I am calm and settled in a good meditation mode it is much easier (like my before bed and morning meditations). It's like I can feel swirls coming around me as I do it (maybe because in how I describe what I am doing of the sparks of interest combining into a flame of desire) causing things in the center to get closer.
And yesterday when dealing with my A+A's in the external realities (compared to the mantras I've done before in this form), I felt a lot of tension when reciting them, and it took a lot of work to relax areas. Especially my tongue, I feel that soon I'll be communicating with myself the reasons for the tension, it still felt like they (my cells) were murmuring in disagreement but none wanted to speak up yet.
My goal today and for the rest of the weekend is to work on that tension I experienced when reciting my A+A's. So that I can identify and then smooth all concerns in relations with this goal.

I'm off to my father-in-law’s farm for the weekend. See you all on Monday with my updates.
The chatterbox is out! Have a great weekend guys!

I could have subconsciously set the goal to be a professional baller...

In NBA 2K10, there's a feature called "My Player" where you make a player and try and get him drafted to the NBA. I made a player and used my name. Maybe you're right, maybe I did want to be a pro baller but I didn't see it happening until I found that information...

[missbhaven]

Yeah I want to use that subconscious for its simple belief building at a fundamental level.



Ok my scribbly scratchy handwritten car-ride notes


Day 2
Driving to the farm I had ample time to do my A+A's. As I drifted out of focus sometimes, I was greeted with a variety of visions detailing the long term global impacts of my goal. Which I thought was interesting, I thought my mind would wrestle with the "how" first.
When the occurrence start more frequently, I pulled back using the awareness watching awareness technique.
It is certainly the strangest feeling I may have had yet. Watching myself disassembling whole worlds and tossing aside whole ideas or possible realities on some shallow superfluous beliefs (like, "Nope, I don't care what fashion is, I would never wear those shoes.") It's astounding really, the different levels of beliefs that an idea can be accepted by me during this process. The speed and the constant internal dialogue I had also... wow.




Day 3

During a drive into the town, I had this nagging thought, "GO BIGGER". This was greeted with feelings of guilt. Puzzled by the emotion, I decided to examine it. I pulled back and questioned my goal again. Was this feeling me? The whole aim of this was to go beyond my comfort level, should I be asking for more? Why am I NOT asking for more? Then I realised that I am not asking for more for no other reason other than: I feel anything more would be unjust.
I'm then blown away, again, at the levels of beliefs and could be some self-induced limitations that go into building this one belief. But that's not the focus here.
Is my feeling of greed justified because I feel that what I am asking for is just? Is this asking for more my ego? If so, what parts does my ego play in building beliefs and motivation?
The other thing I noticed, my environment was a prefect reflection of why I choose my why (the second blank in my goal statement). The tension I felt for the second part of my A+A's had eased greatly during this time. Which to me I call PROGRESS


Day 4
Today I feel I need a bit of change, so I've decided rather than say my A+A's Together, I'm only gonna to do 20 of 1 type at a time.
The ease of which the affirmations came was impressive. I was able to create a nice little flow. The afformations did not fare as nicely, they were greeted with many external distractions. Even threw the day the affirmations were easier to spit out than the afformations which left me stumbly-mumbly. And I can't not remember if I actually did manage to get threw 20 full ones.
This made me decide to work harder at the energy I put into the afformations. I question if I stumble and mumble due to my own usual undetermined nature.

Day 5
MY A+A's brought reflections of the conflict and static I've felt the recent days. Issues I've had when dealing with other people dealt with my quick evaluations and the decisiveness, along with the nonsensical fights with my partner; they were all questioned if it was out of phase with my goal. If they were capable to be in the future I would like to build.
I examined my reaction and the reactions of the people I had surrounding me. Why did I choose to be around these people? What lesson am I learning here from them? I am pretty sure I am around 1 person to show me how much power I really have, because I constantly watch them give up theirs. I see them carrying so much negative energy at tools. Rather than deal with their own errors they constantly complain about what other's are doing to keep people (including them) down. The big bad invisible (because you've only HEARD about them) bullies in your limited world and stopping you from experiencing happiness. ARGHHH it's so frustrating to deal with.... my vibration was going nuts... it's was so disempowering, it went against so much belief structure that I am building now. I felt like I was being a bad guest since all my empowering uplifting alternative thoughts stopped all conversation.
A big switch from yesterday where my environment assisted with the second part of my A+A's with a smooth feeling, this time I feel it was assisted. I would say I didn’t like the form of assistance, just dealing with 1 person felt so draining. I now understand why they say high successful people are charismatic, the energy you must emit to maintain your own good vibration must be strong.

It's been a long day... GOOD NIGHT

[missbhaven]

Day 6
Yesterday was a relatively easy day. I managed to get my min amount done. But it was hard to keep going during the rest of the day during my non-meditative times. I can't say I experienced anything revolutionary or eye opening.


Day 7
Why is it the world seems to want to make me feel like crying today?
Soo many of my life goals are being questioned and right now and I feel like throwing my boyfriend in some bloody shark infested waters.
I am seriously questioning the people in my life now. Why did choose them, and why I choose to be in this situation.
I AM STRESSED THE EFF OUT! And you know I smile and tell myself these are just ripples relax, and maintain my calm persona on the exterior. But I feel soo ...... The things that keep coming at me are all the ways I pushed forth in life for me and my happiness and/or sanity, and how people continue downplay my efforts and often destroy the hard work I've done because they are indifferent to seeing what matters to me. How it feels like the things that really matter most to me I am often alone doing it. Despite my CONSTANT pleas of help, becuase they don't just involve simply me. And here I am trying to work up motivation for another goal soo I can push past all these indifferent people agian, soo I can keep going, for what? To help all the people who when I beg for help leave me stranded, soo it makes me feel better? To help all the people that are mad I'm not conforming to their image of me anymore and wanna talk down about me instead of help? I've treated people certain ways becuase it's how I would hope to be treated. Not becuase I needed to rescue someone or anything along those lines.

I've decided I'm doing another 30 day challange of A+A's after this. This one is going to be purely selfish and only self motivated. The darkworker version.

[missbhaven]

Days 8, 9, 10 and 11
Holy crap, it hasn't felt that long!
Straight up I can honestly say doing my A+A's this time was hard. I was just in a miserable foul mood. My moods swung like a grand father's clock's pendulum on an acid trip.
I noticed when I get in my low depressed moods it's a little too easy to zone out. I try to see just what is going on (awareness watching awareness) but it's like fuzzy; in many senses. It's often just best not to see what I'm thinking since that just what I get this numbly fuzzy feeling. It does feel like a meditative state but I feel I should be getting some use of this state, or at least attempt some positive use. I tried putting my A+A's in there and it simply snaps me out of it.
It seems that the only time my mind actually wants stillness is when I am melancholy. Otherwise, my mind is constantly active, often to the point where it's distracting. I am amazed at just how long I am able to sit still deeply breathing simply staring at a leave or a rock or some mundane aspect of the scenery. I wonder at what previous moments in this deep stillness could have brought about, and just what thoughts bubble threw the fuzz.

[Federer]

I will not join, but yesh, i am going to take care of this thread. I will start it from tomorrow morning. I respect mornings, so it is good timing for me.

I am sorry, i am not able to join for some reason. Because already i have some trials in mind. If i do i will destroy myself.

[missbhaven]

Bah I just worte out a nice response and now it's all gone.. Bah!
Ah well.

Days 12 -15

So, I don't know why I don't like writing every day. A part of me says that it's because There isn't much to say, but then I feel there is a deeper psychological reasoning.
I noticed that a meditative state I tried in the past, I've been doing instinctually . In the past, I heard a good time to try mediating is right before you sleep. Since I normally take a while to get out of bed I doze in and out. I've been noticing that I'm naturally repeating the A+A's, also the increase in length of being able to hold those states now before falling asleep. PROGRESS! WOOHOO!
Also I was think about the inter-connectivity we have to linking these states. People use items that had when they were in "good" frame of mind as their "lucky" items. After finding out my fuzzy nothingness feelings from the previous post was actually a positive space. I thought of linking, that feeling to my current state (espresso buzzed) in hopes of getting what happens after getting to relaxed in alpha..... sleep. And Aha! After 3 or 4 tries, I did!
Just being able to do that feels like such a big accomplishment. Often I toss and turn and I was able to bring myself down to where I need to be. Yes it took some effort and reminders to self of what to do, not caving into the mindless brain chatter

Also, There have been changes occurring in my life. But rather than look at them to closely I am going to see how they pan out by the end of my challenge.

[Federer]

Originally Posted by missbhaven

Bah I just worte out a nice response and now it's all gone.. Bah!
Ah well.

Days 12 -15

So, I don't know why I don't like writing every day. A part of me says that it's because There isn't much to say, but then I feel there is a deeper psychological reasoning.
I noticed that a meditative state I tried in the past, I've been doing instinctually . In the past, I heard a good time to try mediating is right before you sleep. Since I normally take a while to get out of bed I doze in and out. I've been noticing the change in length of being able to hold those states now before falling asleep. PROGRESS! WOOHOO!
Also I was think about the inter-connectivity we have to linking these states. People use items that had when they were in "good" frame of mind as their "lucky" items.After finding out my fuzzy nothingness feelings from the previous post was actually a positive space. I thought of linking, that feeling to my current state (espresso buzzed) in hopes of getting what happens after getting to relaxed in alpha..... sleep. And Aha! after 3 or 4 tries I did!
Just being able to do that feels like such a big accomplishment. Often I toss and turn and I was able to bring myself down to where I need to be

Also, There have been changes occurring in my life. But rather than look at them to closely I am going to see how they pan out by the end of my challenge.

I saw that response. Thank you for it.

You're really improving or in your words it's change for you. How do you feel about everything? I can't say much because i have missed some of your posts due to off from this forum. Sorry. You still can keep active this thread. May be your mind needs some habit to write in this way. It's wonderful after all.

[missbhaven]

How do I feel about everything.?
Sometimes I still feel doubt. A lot of fears have resurfaced. The time I feel lot of resistance still is during my afformations. Lately I've been flipping on "Why?". Whether it's because of my unwillingness to deal with some of the fears that arise during this time or simply also (more positive spin) I won't need to "continue to do everything in my power" Maybe, it will become automated or free standing long enough to retain the properties of my goal.
I've noticed a different perspective when looking at my short-term goals. The goal I've set for this challenge the end is a generalization. It's only the big picture, I am unconcerned with how. I try not to think of how, since I do that. My short-term goals have a more magical present quality about it. I feel emotionally, I've grown a bit more since this is a weight, a responsiblity, that isn't being thrust on me. This is my choice. I am from now on trying to mold my life to this point, I should make sure I'm happy with the life and the decisions I make during it.

[missbhaven]

I am now officially finished this 30 day challenge and I must say it was quite hard. There were a few days I missed by not completing the WHOLE experiment, meaning I may not have done all 20 A+A's. But it was the first time I've achieved doing something a full 30 days. Since I started in the beginning going further than just my 20, also using them as mantras during other times (exercising, doing dishes, other times when I am used to being able to think or zone out). I find myself thinking them subconsciously, so I don't know how many times I am really thinking them. At this point I feel I am ready to just let it go, and I choose not to count the times that I do catch myself saying them subconsciously in attempt not to hold on to them. To feel that sense of release.

However I've noticed that it has started a lot of changes in my life.
Friends I didn't associate with often, I've started going out with.
Since then, I've also felt more of my zest for life return and a lot of household chores don't really feel like drudgery anymore.
I've felt more momentum with my short term goals. Though the obstacles still pop up, I find they are easier to resolve or accept.
Also, I've noticed more manifestations coming a bit easier. It's more of pre-emptive positive thoughts (especially those that assist my A+A's) come easier, and then I am often surprised to have it happen right then or a little later in the day
I've also seen things that I previously would consider as obstacles being potential opportunities.
In situations I would normally be a lil complacent about, I find myself having strength to fight. This struck me as odd since I normally try to avoid conflict in those situations rather than sticking to my guns and my opinion.
The major thing that I feel is lack of guilt. Normally when I get up and tell people my goals, it's due to me needing help. But often it doesn't turn out that way and it becomes simply accountability. The reminders by those I request help from leaves me feeling guilty, frustrated and angry. This often makes me ditch my plans since I now feel they are going nowhere. Further increasing my guilt. But if I fall shy who knows? God? I'm happy with that. Because the only thing that is going to remind me that I don't have the goal is myself, and maybe that's what's kept me from achieving more in the beginning. The constant reminders that it isn't here. Now if something happens it's more of a sign and I get excited.



So I'd like to say thank you to all of you that followed me threw this time.
Thanks for reading this chatterbox while she sorts threw her own internal configurations during this experiment. I also think I am going to follow threw with my temper tantrum I had the other day and do a purely selfish version of this experiment. I would like to say I'm going to do it for a comparison but I really hope that I have released enough of my connection to this experiment that it will continue its route of manifestation.

[Federer]

If you are going to try this again, next time you will find easier...

[Bricona]

Originally Posted by missbhaven

The reason I've named this my "mysterious" challenge is because I am keeping with the theory of not telling anyone... what I am saying that is. I don't mind laying out the format for you.

I've decided to keep it simple. I have 1 intention that I would like to fold into a belief. I've worked this intention into an affirmation and an afformation.

My affirmation: I am doing everything in my power to _____________, so I can ____________ in ways that benefit all forms of existence.

My afformation: Will I continue to do everything in my power to _____________, so I can ____________ in ways that benefit all forms of existence?



I am reaching for sky here in those little blanks. Not because I lack faith of actually achieving it but will be happy with moderate success. No, because I am thinking of the general big picture at the end. The first blank is a really big outlandish goal I would like to achieve and the second blank is basically why, if asking for my benefit why not go big and ask for everyone's

What I want to do is start the core buildings of a belief so I can be doing everything in my power to achieve this goal.
Now my plan is simply whenever my mind starts to wander and when I have spare time, I will start repeating my affirmation and afformation. I have also decided on a minimum of 20 a day.

I will be recording my daily progress here (Just so I feel like I've reported to someone you know... Aye! Aye! Captain!), my thoughts when dealing with the dual affirmation afformation technique, any profound changes in my spirituality or physical environment.




Should you Decide to join in, the good thing about the mysteriousness is you can try to bring about that secret desire or go way beyond you would normally feel comfortable in asking and be a lil greedy, because who is going to tell? Well, only you... if you say them out loud when people are around

Hope ya'll ready for my 30 days of updates

I was actually going to make fun of you for having a public mystery thing. But now that I see where you're going, it's really cool and nifty.