I'm going in circles again!

[mmartin2009]

So I went to CGW 2 and finally got the courage to quit my job and move to southern California. I LOVE living out here but I was running out of money and I chose to get a 9-5 job. I knew interviewing for it I wouldn't last long and it's come true! It's been a bit over 1 month and I feel like I'm in hell all over again. I like the work my company does (organic and fairly traded superfoods) but I hate what I'm doing (supply chain stuff, chained to a desk). I'm back where I was a few months ago: feeling slightly suicidal each morning as I drag myself to work but I don't know where to go next.
I know I don't want to work for someone else; I want to live and work towards my purpose not someone else's. I spent all of my savings before trying to figure out what that was (and not working) and I feel so lost. Why is this so hard?? I'm so close to just forgetting about my 'passion' and giving in the 'normal' lifestyle. Maybe I can just drink and eat away the rest of my life ? Lol not quite!
I may just get a super flexible job that doesn't pay as well just so I can make space in my day to figure this out.
Any wise words or tips would be greatly appreciated!

[ascetic]

What are some of your character goals? If I was stuck in a job I didn't want, I would try to see it as an opportunity to develop humility and self-surrender. You can make the best of the situation you're in while you're working towards arranging the situation you want.

What is your passion, by the way?

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by mmartin2009

It's been a bit over 1 month and I feel like I'm in hell all over again. I like the work my company does (organic and fairly traded superfoods) but I hate what I'm doing (supply chain stuff, chained to a desk).

Ok, I know you've been there only a month,,but! you say you like the work your company does, would it be possible to change your department (?), or type of work you do? have you already figured out how things work in that company when it comes to that? maybe not right away, but if they say something might come up in let's say 2 months?
Isn't there anything that you find positive about your job? Maybe make it a challenge to improve in something?

If you found another more flexible job that doesn't pay as well, would that cover your necessary expenses? If so, that might work, you could focus on figuring things out.
As ascetic asked, what's your passion? Depending on what it is, you may want to try and find a job in that field, could that work? I know you'd still be working for someone else, but if it involves something you like it could be easier for you, until you figure out your purpose?

Have you tried brainstorming? Write down all the ideas you get about ''your next step'?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by mmartin2009

I may just get a super flexible job that doesn't pay as well just so I can make space in my day to figure this out.

WTF?!? You got to CGW and all you get is this lousy t-shirt that says: "I'm resigned and I want less money!"????

You're living in the land of molto tourismo, woman -- the place is crawling with super flexible jobs that pay very well! Come se dice in Venetian: Hotels! Bars! Restaurants! The Industry! Especially for someone as fine, foxy, and fintelligent as the likes of you.

What did you come out here for? To get away from something, or to move towards something? What?

[mmartin2009]

Thanks for the help!
I've done ALL of Steve's tips for finding your passion (multiple times, no luck yet)b. So I have no idea what industry would be better, I can think of a few that would be on the same level though. There are a few things I can look forward to in this present job but I don't want to spend most of my time hoping for something good to happen, you know?

"WTF?!? You got to CGW and all you get is this lousy t-shirt that says: "I'm resigned and I want less money!"????" HAHAHAHA Thanks Angela! I want some kind of job that aligns with with values (good for the environment, vegan, raw vegan maybe,) so idk about the typical bar/restaurant jobs. I've come here to connect more with myself and like minded people, both of which have been happening (and is partially to blame for my recent unhappiness). I am trying to reconnect w/ my passions too.
I feel like going to CGW was a bit of a waste at this point, I've stalled out .

[Angela]

Steve's methods for distinguishing passion and purpose didn't do much for me, either -- but there's something that did, called The Passion Test. There's a book, but you don't have to buy the book to do it; they just have a lot of explanation and examples in there about it, but you can find descriptions online and how to do it.

For some reason, I really enjoyed the process and I really loved what I came up with -- and looking back a year after the first time I distinguished my passions, I realized they had all come to fruition. Maybe you'd enjoy it, too. Seeing what excites and inspires you most is an excellent way to get yourself moving toward it.

[Erin Pavlina]

come be my assistant Do you like kids? Vegan cooking? Running errands?

[mmartin2009]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

come be my assistant Do you like kids? Vegan cooking? Running errands?

LOL Don't tempt me!

[Erin Pavlina]

tempt tempt tempt

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

tempt tempt tempt

Lmao Erin.

[Lioness]

mmartin, it sounds like Erin is serious.

If this is not the universe calling you, what is? Erin has great powers of intuition. Even if being an assistant is not exactly what you want to do, it could definitely lead to something you are more aligned with.

What is holding you back?

[mmartin2009]

Originally Posted by Lioness

mmartin, it sounds like Erin is serious.

If this is not the universe calling you, what is? Erin has great powers of intuition. Even if being an assistant is not exactly what you want to do, it could definitely lead to something you are more aligned with.

What is holding you back?

Nothing's holding me back. I've thought about this all weekend and although I don't love my job I do LOVE living in LA at the moment. LOL I hope I'm not ignoring fate, if so I hope it comes knocking again, and louder next time!

[Lioness]

I don't know why I was thinking the Pavlinas live in So Cal, they are in Vegas, right?

Well anyway, I still think it was a very good omen that Erin reached out to you, that's a rarity.

I was listening to NPR a while back and they were interviewing the owner of Veggie Grille, I think that's the name of it. One of their restaurants is in West Hollywood and people who aren't even vegan/vegetarian are going crazy over their food. Maybe you would like to work at such a place. LA is so full of arts/cultural events and creative people, and you also have the beaches and boardwalk shops; it would seem if you just hang out and socialize with like-minded people, you will network your way into something you like.

[mmartin2009]

Originally Posted by Lioness

Well anyway, I still think it was a very good omen that Erin reached out to you, that's a rarity.

I KNOW I am so grateful, Thank you Erin! I was pleasantly surprised at how happy I am in LA, after some introspection, I'm definitely not done yet here.