Do darkworkers trust people?

[CroMagna]

I'm at an impasse where I don't know if I should keep to myself and watch my back, not making any new friends or getting close to people or if I should open my heart, socialize, and love everyone.

The thing is, when I interact with people they seem friendly, supportive, and non-threatening. But I have these daydreams where I imagine people walking all over me. The daydreams make me think that I should heed the warning and stay away from people. They make me dislike people.

But I fear I may be missing out on valuable relationships and an enjoyable life.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm at an impasse where I don't know if I should keep to myself and watch my back, not making any new friends or getting close to people or if I should open my heart, socialize, and love everyone.

False dichotomy. This is not an either or. You can pick and choose who you associate with. You'd have to regardless. The kind of "love" you're talking about would more likely result in you getting stomped upon and if you're thinking of this as a choice between light and dark, well, a lightworker couldn't afford that kind of love either.

The thing is, when I interact with people they seem friendly, supportive, and non-threatening.

Everyone wears a mask. Here's the question: where does it end and where do they begin? Who are these people and where are you meeting them? What have you told them about yourself and in what way have they bolstered you?

Friendly faces are a dime a dozen. You're the one who has to pick out the diamonds from the coal.

But I have these daydreams where I imagine people walking all over me. The daydreams make me think that I should heed the warning and stay away from people. They make me dislike people.

You don't dislike people, you dislike these little daydreams you're having. Fact is you don't know whether or not they have a basis on reality but if you fear they do you'll likely sabotage yourself until they come true.

An inability to trust anyone means you don't trust yourself. Maybe you think you don't possess the clarity or insight to pick the goods ones from the bad, maybe you think you can't say no, but whatever you think it's most likely overcompensation for a flaw you believe you possess.

But I fear I may be missing out on valuable relationships and an enjoyable life.

I would guess that you are. The remedy to this is not to look toward other people but to take a long hard look at what's going on inside of you.

You've been to Asmoday's site. You ever done the Foci? Believe you me, that **** is pretty potent. If I were you I'd start on that immediately.

[KazeCraven]

In regards to title: Are you a darkworker? I would think darkworkers would tend to be distrustful of others, considering most people are distrustful of darkworkers. Should they trust others? Probably, after sizing up their honesty and cleverness.

In regards to post: You seem unclear about your life path. Are you even capable of both paths? My advice can be summed up as follows: make your own mistakes and stay true to what you want for yourself.

If you want relationships, focus on that. If you want to protect yourself from people, focus on that. I'd be surprised if anyone could convey the joys of relationshipping via this forum.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by KazeCraven

In regards to title: Are you a darkworker? I would think darkworkers would tend to be distrustful of others, considering most people are distrustful of darkworkers.

On the field, so to speak, most people won't be able to pick out a darkworker from the crowd. You'd be surprised how easily we're trusted. It doesn't change the fact that we're very discerning. You have to be when you truly value yourself. You're not going to waste time with low-quality or untrustworthy people. Look at Steve-he's a self proclaimed lightworker and he's very picky about who he spends his time with. That's just the nature of human relationships.

Very few people are capable of leading a fulfilling life without forming relationships. Darkworkers are the supreme lovers of life ergo they desire loving relationships the same as anyone else. To live distrusting everyone is not an empowering state, it's a state of perpetual vulnerability. This is intolerable to the darkworker. Only when it's conquered is choice possible.

[Michael Chui]

Vulnerability is just another thing you can offer as leverage. You're not demonstrating or exerting your own power when you daydream about their walking all over you; you're handing it over to them.

There isn't any should. There's what you want, and how to get it. If what you want necessitates trust and openness, then do that.

[Cado]

Also, Cro-I see you asking about shoulds without ever stopping to ask, "what do I want?" See, I can't answer that for you. Nobody here can answer that for you. Whether you're a lightworker or a darkworker that won't answer it for you. If you want rules to live by, a list of shoulds that supposedly lead to fulfillment, there's religion. If you want to define what you're after and cultivate the traits you need to get it, polarizing will get you there.

Question is-what do you YOU want?

[CroMagna]

The thing is, I don't know what I want.

[Karanime]

Isn't "should" the mark of a lightworker, Cado?

Or is that one of those things that are ambiguous?

/<3

[Cado]

Originally Posted by Karanime

Isn't "should" the mark of a lightworker, Cado?

Or is that one of those things that are ambiguous?

/<3

When it comes to what you want there are no shoulds, only methods and emphasis.

[elucidate]

Why does there have to be this "only a lightworker uses the word 'should'" crap? If anything...given the manipulative prediliction of some darkworkers...wouldn't 'should' be a common buzzword with them? Most people use the word 'should' alot in daily life, and they don't necessarily identify with some label.

Originally Posted by Karanime

Isn't "should" the mark of a lightworker, Cado?

Or is that one of those things that are ambiguous?

/<3

[elucidate]

Well that's something only you can work out. Maybe start with what you DON'T want, and work your way backwards.

Originally Posted by CroMagna

The thing is, I don't know what I want.

[CroMagna]

I know that I don't want to end up a failure and a miserable loser.

[elucidate]

Sorry to say, but we all have these aspects in us, at some point you have been or will be exactly that. But not to worry...Failure leads to greater success in the future, being a loser will show you the way to winning, and being miserable will help you appreciate happiness more. It's all good! Might not be what you want to hear though.

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I know that I don't want to end up a failure and a miserable loser.

[imlivinganillusion]

Your over-analysis is a result of fear. Live life fearlessly. In doing so, you will encounter and experience people who are one of three categories.... for a "reason" ... for a "season" ... or for a "lifetime" each holds profound signifigance, and are necessary to complete your journey. If you live under a protective "shield" you will not experience the collection of lessons that will provide happiness and growth that you seek. Don't robb yourself of experiences through the deceitful vail of self-preservation ... it is a lie on the deepest level.

[iDreamCatcher]

When darkworkers and lightworkers collide over the ideas of controlling the minds and hearts of innocent people
I feel an irresistible urge to grab a bag of popcorn and watch the show.

[upgradereality]

Be open, kind and loving but have your boundaries. No means no and you stick to that.

I believe that is the only way to be happy and true to yourself, and people will respect your boundaries. Most of the time at least anyways, and if not then its better not to hang out with them!

[CroMagna]

This makes perfect sense. I'm totally clear on this issue now. Thanks everyone.

[KazeCraven]

Originally Posted by iDreamCatcher

When darkworkers and lightworkers collide over the ideas of controlling the minds and hearts of innocent people
I feel an irresistible urge to grab a bag of popcorn and watch the show.

Are you saying that lightworkers control others too? (For their own good or the greater good, of course.)

And unless I misunderstand lightworkers, their concern isn't what they want but how they can help others. I would think there is a great deal of "should-ing" there. [in regards to questions about shoulds]

[iDreamCatcher]

Originally Posted by KazeCraven

Are you saying that lightworkers control others too? (For their own good or the greater good, of course.)

And unless I misunderstand lightworkers, their concern isn't what they want but how they can help others. I would think there is a great deal of "should-ing" there. [in regards to questions about shoulds]

No, I'm just making fun of something that doesn't exists.

[RagsToRiches]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm at an impasse where I don't know if I should keep to myself and watch my back, not making any new friends or getting close to people or if I should open my heart, socialize, and love everyone.

The thing is, when I interact with people they seem friendly, supportive, and non-threatening. But I have these daydreams where I imagine people walking all over me. The daydreams make me think that I should heed the warning and stay away from people. They make me dislike people.

But I fear I may be missing out on valuable relationships and an enjoyable life.

You have not grasped what dark-working is about.

Actually I don't like the term dark-working at all anyway and I'm starting to steer away from polarity all-togther.

In my opinion though being acheivement focused has no necessary bearing on how much you contribute to your friends, your associates, and society.

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by Illustro Cado

When it comes to what you want there are no shoulds, only methods and emphasis.

But then there's what you want, and what others want.

Darkworkers for the first, lightworkers for the second?

/<3

[Karanime]

Originally Posted by elucidate

If anything...given the manipulative prediliction of some darkworkers...wouldn't 'should' be a common buzzword with them?

Absolutely, but not for ourselves.

/<3

[elucidate]

I see what you mean I think. You don't mind telling others what they 'should' do or have, but you won't put those restrictions on yourself. Is this right?

[Daniel Birdick]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I see what you mean I think. You don't mind telling others what they 'should' do or have, but you won't put those restrictions on yourself. Is this right?

The only restrictions (shoulds) I can make out are the ones other people believe in.

[Manomanman]

We trust people to be perfectly predictable.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Manomanman

We trust people to be perfectly predictable.

Well, there was never a requirement for darkworkers to be intelligent, I guess.

[RunningBear1]

Do you have factual evidence that people are walking all over you, or is it just in your daydreams? Just something to consider?

[elucidate]

People will only walk all over you if you let them.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Daniel Birdick

The only restrictions (shoulds) I can make out are the ones other people believe in.

Same. That word does not get used very often in my vocabulary, unless it is old habit, which I can correct as soon as spoken.

[Mynder]

I hate labels.

Indigos, lightworkers, darkworkers, they tend to generalize too much and divert attention away from the individual and their particular needs and resources.

The real question you're asking, and the one you were somehow too afraid to ask right out is: "should I trust people?"

As was said before, there is no "should", or "should not". There is only what you decide, and the consequences of your decisions.

As in all things, there needs to be a balance in life. If you go out distrusting everyone, you will isolate and insulate yourself from everybody else. You will live the life of a hermit. Few people are happy living in total isolation. You will also be too frozen to act on some things because you will doubt others' sincerity and wonder about the "what ifs" of betrayal.

If you are naively trusting everyone and taking everything at face value, then yes, you will be taken advantage of, liberally. This you have experienced several times in your past, and that is what makes you wonder whether it is better to swing towards the other extreme.

I say, you should trust...within reason. Trust is not something that needs to be established instantly and irrevocably. Trust normally builds over time. Trust yourself to feel who you can trust, odd as it sounds. And if you have friends whose judgement has proven reliable in the past, have a tendency to give them the benefit of the doubt. Advice is a dime a dozen, but good advice is extremely valuable.

I guess my message is: learn to trust yourself, then you will be able to decide who else you can trust.

You will make mistakes and get disappointed and betrayed sometimes. It happens to the best of us. But on the other hand, you will also make very good friends, and those will be with you in those times and support you.