Unable to decide what I want...

[TylerD]

Hello everyone. I have this problem I want to talk about. I'm not sure about the sort of person I want to become.
Sometimes I think that I can become an influential person and do great social deeds. But then whenever I sit down to do something I lose my focus very easily. I can't seem to be able to do something at a stretch. I generally quit anything within 2 weeks. then I think, maybe its okay to live a normal life. But then I can't even seem to be doing that effectively. I keep getting these flashes of inspiration. However, most of these sparks extinguish way before they can be kindled into powerful flames. I keep trying many new things and get pretty good at them easily. However, I can never seem to be able to master anything because I can't pull myself together to sticking with it for long enough. I think I can become either totally selfless or totally selfless. However, I find it hard to stick to any of these paths for too long. Its the 'in between' state that's causing me a lot of frustrations. I lack the resolve to commit myself entirely to any of the paths. Whenever I go down one path, I'm tempted to go down another. Sometimes I feel I'm going round and round without actually getting anywhere. While I do think that I lack discipline, I think the problem is something else. All my life I've been better than others, but not quite the best. I don't have the drive or the desire to be the best. I think its okay to not be the best, but then I find myself daydreaming about achievement. I know that I can do or achieve anything I want, but I find it difficult to do anything for long enough. I feel this is a fault in my character itself. Whenever I tread down one road, something in me resists and tells me that you may not be as happy as you think once you reach the end. I'm stuck in a gray area, both socially, professionally and morally. I want to be able to be either black or white. But when I'm white for a while, I'm puled back to black and vice-versa.
Allow me to illustrate. I set very specific goals. But somewhere in the pursuit I give up and start pursuing something else. And the distraction that pulls me away is very strong indeed. And then down the line, I do somewhat reach my original goal, but its never the way I envisioned it to be. I feel that my mind and my heart are full of inner conflict. Sometimes I believe I can achieve impossible things and become totally convinced of the same. But then when I don't seem to make much progress I get into destructive habits like eating too much, sleeping too much, and other obsessive behavior. I find it hard to focus and take life one thing at a time. I always think that I can achieve it all and end up not achieving anything. So now I'm not sure about what I want anymore. I can't seem to make a healthy divide between short term and long term pleasure. Too much of either pulls me back to the other.
I don't know whether I'm meant for greatness or not, but I want to be able to commit to a path and stick to it. I don't know if I'm impulsive or otherwise. Any form of advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[Zanriel]

Sounds very familiar. I can relate. I'm 34 now and I've finally mostly decided on what I want in life, but getting there is another thing entirely.

What are some of your dreams and aspirations? List off some of the things you'd like to be, do, or have in 5-10 years.

[TylerD]

I'm 20 and I know that there are a lot of things that I can accomplish. I think that I could easily walk down the commonly traversed path and become an entrepreneur. If I decide to climb the corporate ladder instead, I know that I can easily climb the ranks, perhaps even faster than others and get to the post I desire. If I go the more socialist way, I know I can become a good teacher (a lot of friends have appreciated this quality in me) and mentor. But each of these paths require a certain amount of dedication. Its like if I decide to become an entrepreneur, after maybe a year later I would slow down. Entrepreneurship wouldn't seem challenging or fun anymore. I'd then jump boats and probably start teaching at a university. After a while however, I would get bored of the daily mundane tasks that accompany a teacher's job. I lose interest nearly as fast as I get it. And if the end result is not how I envision it to be ( and trust me it never is) I end up feeling that all of it was a waste of time. Its happened multiple times. And for some reason this pattern persists in my life. I've tried all kinds of self improvement techniques, but none of them have helped me resolve this issue so far. Each of the paths I can choose require a certain outlook and attitude towards life, and my values tend to fluctuate very often. I find it hard to follow any core philosophy.

[Zanriel]

Be an entrepreneur and freelancer, that way you can diversify and make yourself into whatever you want. Build something up and get good people under you so the business runs itself, then move on to something else. You will have to get the discipline necessary to stick with one thing for at least 5 years, that's about how long it takes to build up a successful business if you play your cards right.

[Moxie]

I don't know that you should stick to a path yet, that subconsciously you might be fighting it for some reason. I say do something wild and crazy instead. Figure out how to travel. Spend a year of your life flying around the world or working on a cruise ship or join a carnival. It seems possible to me that it's more freedom you need, not a plan to limit yourself right now. Just my two cents though.