Is style and fashion a viable pursuit for Personal Development?

[Magnus]

This is something I wanted to ask during Steve's "Ask Steve" series. But I never got around to posting it (mainly beacuse my bad habit of procastination), so I'll adress it to everyone instead. Here goes:

Is trying to improve one's style and fashion (definition below) a viable pursuit for Personal Development. Do you spend any time on this? If not why?

Now, I realize that style and fashion are different things. I would also like to clarify that I'm basically talking about outward apperance. Mainly talking about style, how you dress and groom yourself, being able to match clothes to create a whole. Fashion is added because I want to know your take on at the same time following current trends etc.

I have a personal answer for this but I will let it wait until the thread gets some comments. I'm really curious what you think about this!

[Matt]

I don't spend a great deal of time on it, but I believe outward appearance is important. It improves confidence, it facilitates social interaction (first impressions are often based on appearance), and it makes me feel clean and healthy. I believe personal style can be an expression of your personality and purpose but I do not focus on labels or trends.

[madgeylou]

my personal style is extremely important to me ... if i'm dressed in something i dont like, feel boring in, doesnt fit well, isnt a nice color on me, etc. i dont feel quite like myself. dress me in a polo shirt and khaki pants, and i *feel* boring. but put me in my favorite pinstripe pencil skirt and some hot heels, and suddenly i'm mae west.

so, to the extent that a person's confidence can be literally unleashed upon the world through a good confluence of personality and style, yes, by all means, find your style.

ever watch the show "what not to wear" ? some of the transformations that take place on that show are simply stunning and i would encourage anyone who doubts the power of fashion to transform a person to watch an episode or two (TLC or BBC, both work fine).

when i opened this topic i thought you were going to ask if style and fashion are a suitable life purpose. this is something i've struggled with myself, because i am a person with a very diverse portfolio of interests and talents, from writing to singing to designing software, but somehow my forays into the fashion world are where i've had my largest impact on the greatest number of people.

i often feel weird about this. because, although i know personally how much fashion means to me, fashion is generally seen as a frivolous pursuit. in fact i myself see it that way, even though i derive great joy from putting together great outfits and also from helping people discover what kinds of clothes they can feel great in, too.

i actually had a reading with erin where she told me fashion is where i will have my greatest impact -- specifically, fashions for bigger girls, who are often left out of the whole fun part of dressing. when she said that, i was kind of disappointed, because i feel as though my mind is too good for fashion, or something. like my gifts could be put to better use elsewhere.

so ... i still havent stepped forward with my fat girl fashion line. i am still struggling with whether that is a worthy pursuit for me, or not.

[Caveman Joe]

To madgeylou and Magnus - for my tuppence'orth, I'm not terribly interested in fashion at all, but I do think it can be a good purpose. I think you can find a purpose in just about any action - I reckon it's less about what you're doing, and more of why you're doing it.

Making a range of fashionable clothing in order to become rich and famous: probably not a good life's purpose, not that I'm one to judge.

Making a range of fashionable clothing in order to help people feel better about themselves: much better, even though you'll be doing the same thing - albeit with different goals in mind.

BUT, doing the above action well will result in both effects. Although it's probably more likely to happen faster if you concentrate on the latter viewpoint, since doing so will produce better clothes - if you're in it to make good clothes, then you'll make good clothes as a prime objective, the clothes will be better and the money will naturally follow.

[november]

Anything one chooses to pursue is a viable pursuit. The reasons don't matter.

[Magnus]

Madgeylou: My original intent was to ask if 'creating' a style for yourself or following fashion was a viable pursuit. But creation of fashion or helping people with this is certainly an interesting aspect of it too!

While having a style certainly is not about owning expensive brand clothes (Gucci, Prada, Dior etc), it's not always mutually exclusive. A lot of unique and interesting designer clothes (not talking about those above however) are expensive as well. Since they are made in small series.

I'm ambiguous in this. On one hand, I guess following fashion is ultimately appealing to your ego at some level. Selling a lifestyle, I'm unique/better since I care about clothes. This would be more true for people who exclusively buy the big brands in my opinion. Sometimes it's the same thing as everything else, but with another logo on it.

On the other hand, creating a style (see facehunter or hel-looks for reference of what I mean) for yourself can be a way of self-expression. At least for me. I'm not exceptionally good at it but I think have improved wardrobe from following fashion blogs etc. Learning about classic looks as well, not just what is the latest. But by getting inspiration from those you are a part of the whole consumerism wheel.

I actually do buy expensive clothes a lot of times. But not because they are a special designer brand (at least not consciously) but more because I'm tall and kinda skinny. So the one-size-fits-all often look a little off on me. I like clothes that _fits_ as well as are appealing to me.

So, Madgeylou, I can relate to what you say! I feel better, more confident when I know my look creates a whole that is appealing to me. Even knowing that I have underwear, t-shirt and socks (which nobody hardly ever sees) that matches is soothing. Even if that happens by accident rather than me thinking about it in the morning. That may be narcissistic but it works. At the same time I don't look down upon others who don't care. That is their choice.

One reason I ask this as well is that Steve once wrote that he is "fasion impared" (or something of the sort), so I was curious if that is something he sees as a worthy pursuit for Personal Development for himself. Because sometimes I'm not so sure myself.

[kthdsn]

I think it depends on the person. Remember that we are talking about PERSONAL development. If fashion or style is important to you as a person, then developing it is a sensible thing to do. If it's not important to you, then developing it would be rather pointless.

I don't follow fashion at all, I am not interested in labels or the latest trends. I do enjoy clothes and expressing my personality through developing my own style. I am also interested in how people perceive me differently based on my appearance, and I enjoy trying different looks to see how it affects people's reactions.

I definitely feel differently depending on how I choose to present myself, and I think most people care what they look like on some level because of how it makes them feel.

[abdulrahman]

Originally Posted by Magnus

This is something I wanted to ask during Steve's "Ask Steve" series. But I never got around to posting it (mainly beacuse my bad habit of procastination), so I'll adress it to everyone instead. Here goes:

Is trying to improve one's style and fashion (definition below) a viable pursuit for Personal Development. Do you spend any time on this? If not why?

Now, I realize that style and fashion are different things. I would also like to clarify that I'm basically talking about outward apperance. Mainly talking about style, how you dress and groom yourself, being able to match clothes to create a whole. Fashion is added because I want to know your take on at the same time following current trends etc.

I have a personal answer for this but I will let it wait until the thread gets some comments. I'm really curious what you think about this!

Well, I am simple man. I wear simple clothes (like you've seen everywhere, excluding what alien wearing ). If you believe what you do are going to be worthy your time, go for it. Trend is what people create. You can create trend... but don't create something ridiculous, please.

[Henry]

I'm not a big fashion guy but I do feel like money when I wear a suit. I feel lazy when I'm wearing sweats. I feel refreshed when I shower and get some fresh clothes on.

I guess in a sense, style and fashion affects personal development. I never thought of that....

[Dating Specialist]

Originally Posted by madgeylou

i was kind of disappointed, because i feel as though my mind is too good for fashion, or something. like my gifts could be put to better use elsewhere.

so ... i still havent stepped forward with my fat girl fashion line. i am still struggling with whether that is a worthy pursuit for me, or not.

Personally I feel that not everyone has a flair in fashion. I've seen how people could be so creative in making their dressing stand out, and I've also seen how people created their own fashion disaster by being a blind trend-follower. Usually the latter counts the most.

So, if you have such talent, definitely it is worth pursuing. There are too many souls out there who needs help in their wardrobe. There is nothing that your mind will be too good at because if you set your mind on it, you will realise there is actually a whole well of potential waiting to be uncovered! Your mind may just go wild!

Originally Posted by Magnus

I'm ambiguous in this. On one hand, I guess following fashion is ultimately appealing to your ego at some level. Selling a lifestyle, I'm unique/better since I care about clothes. This would be more true for people who exclusively buy the big brands in my opinion. Sometimes it's the same thing as everything else, but with another logo on it.

On the other hand, creating a style (see facehunter or hel-looks for reference of what I mean) for yourself can be a way of self-expression. At least for me. I'm not exceptionally good at it but I think have improved wardrobe from following fashion blogs etc. Learning about classic looks as well, not just what is the latest. But by getting inspiration from those you are a part of the whole consumerism wheel.

I actually do buy expensive clothes a lot of times. But not because they are a special designer brand (at least not consciously) but more because I'm tall and kinda skinny. So the one-size-fits-all often look a little off on me. I like clothes that _fits_ as well as are appealing to me.

So, Madgeylou, I can relate to what you say! I feel better, more confident when I know my look creates a whole that is appealing to me. Even knowing that I have underwear, t-shirt and socks (which nobody hardly ever sees) that matches is soothing. Even if that happens by accident rather than me thinking about it in the morning. That may be narcissistic but it works. At the same time I don't look down upon others who don't care. That is their choice.

One reason I ask this as well is that Steve once wrote that he is "fasion impared" (or something of the sort), so I was curious if that is something he sees as a worthy pursuit for Personal Development for himself. Because sometimes I'm not so sure myself.

To me, I see style as something that has been taken from the shelf and modified to suit one's unique indivuduality. If we see personal development as a form of growth, then to complement it to give a complete meaning to the entire package is when style comes in handy.

If we have grown to another phase in our life and if that has changed our outlook and perspectives in life, shouldn't we also incorporate it into our appearance? We can only do this if we change our style accordingly to how we progress in life.

We call this: "Walk the talk"

In this sense, yes, I find that style isa worthy pursuit for PD.

[Dating Specialist]

Style is like an image that we portray. We need to adopt one that suits our personality and brings it out to the best. This is one critical factor that determines our attraction quotient.

If you are a shy person but blessed with a gorgeous killer figure, it really makes no sense to follow the latest fashion and show off your long shapely legs in those mini skirts. You are merely sending the wrong signal out and chances are you'll attract the wrong type of men! While your body is shouting "I'm a party goer", your heart is whispering "I'm looking for a homely sort of guy".

Therefore, portraying the right image that brings out your personality is the first step in upping your attraction if you want to get the right person into your life.

Choose the right style that flatters your body shape while drawing attention to your unique personality. Love the way you look, and look the way you love!

[demk]

I used to see the fashion industry as inherently narcisistic, egotistical and vain and expensive clothes an attempt to raise yourself above other people. As my views on everything are changing my views on the fashion industry have changed too.

I now see fashion as another form of art and self expression. Its existance justified from an evolutionary standpoint because the experimentation involved in creating new styles and fashions is what pushes humanity forward. As humans we strive to create and find new ways of interacting with our environments.

My belief is that the ego-needs that clothes fulfill should be transcended so you can enjoy experiemntation and creation without fear and for its own sake. Although clothes can be appreciated materialistically (which is potentially damaging to yourself and others) they can also be appreciated for themselves and without superiority.

My views on money and expensive items have also changed over the years. I now see it as justified to spend massive amounts of money on clothes or cars or watches or whatever because it means designers can go on living the lifestyle which enables them to produce more cool stuff and push evolution forwards. Spending is tantamount to giving back to society because you help enable the system that pushes things forward. This is probably part of the reason why richh people continue to be "haves" and find it hard to becoome "have nots".

[Radical]

I'm against consumerism, so I despise the vanity of the fashion industry. However, if your sense of worth comes from your clothes and appearence then who am I to judge. Although, I personally would rather concentrate my efforts on something that lowers the superficiality of life and brings people closer together, instead of something that does the opposite.

Live your life how you feel most comfortable.

[madgeylou]

Originally Posted by Radical

I'm against consumerism, so I despise the vanity of the fashion industry. However, if your sense of worth comes from your clothes and appearence then who am I to judge. Although, I personally would rather concentrate my efforts on something that lowers the superficiality of life and brings people closer together, instead of something that does the opposite.

Live your life how you feel most comfortable.

see, i dont see fashion as necessarily upping the superficiality factor. i see it as something fun that can be very uplifting.

it's like exercising -- that can be seen as a vain pursuit as well, because, honestly, why should it matter whether you are slim or fat? youre still the same person inside.

but it's tricky, because when you're healthy, you really do feel different.

dressing well is the same way. maybe not for everyone, but for most people, i'd say, wearing something that looks put together makes them feel more confident.

this kinda makes me LOL though, because now if i ever meet any of you, after all the talking i've done about style, i'm going to have to bust out the big guns
fashionwise!

[Magnus]

Madgeylou: Yeah, that is also something I'm thinking about. I do admire those who make an effort (and not just opening their wallet). It's like somebody making really cool art in a sense. I paint, sculpt and draw myself (not as much as I'd like to but still) and when you finish something, I really feel like I'm on top of the world. Even when looking back I can remember the feeling.

I get the same feeling from helping my dad renovating at home, or painting the hallway, or clearing away big stones in the backyard etc. I think to myself "Wow, we did this!". That is the same approach I try to have with clothes. Like I would think to myself: "Today/tonight you really pulled it off!".

Now, I totally agree with Radical about that your sense of self worth should never be anchored in something like this. That won't work. As Dating Specialist wrote, it's very very apparent when you can't hold up your style with personality. Plus that'd give you a roller coaster selfesteem. Still, a boost here and there is never wrong. Is that contradictory?

I guess I see it more of a way of self expression like art is for me. My goal is that I feel my appearance say something about me, tell a story about me. Not giving a false picture of me that isn't true. Now I'm quite there yet. But that is the general direction I try to move towards.

Still, sometimes I get that nagging feeling, am I just stroking my ego? I had a period where I had a girlfriend in Japan (3 years+), I almost never bought any clothes since I had to save money for flight tickets and living expenses when I was at home working (in my country).

Now when I'm not in that situation anymore and make more money, my interest have been escalating in this field. I usually (except for the money I save each month or give away) spend the majority of varying expenses (not food, rent etc) on books and clothes.

As you can see, there isn't a crystal clear answer in my mind yet.

[madgeylou]

i like what you say about the clothes you wear telling an accurate story about yourself.

i am a physically large woman -- almost 6 feet tall, and more curvy than slim -- with a big personality to match. i recently realized that part of the reason i tend to dress a little "goofy" is that i dont want people to be intimidated by me. i want people to look at me and smile and maybe even giggle, and not be afraid to come over and say hi. so i wear a 60s pink polyester dress to work instead of the ubiquitous and dreaded pantsuit worn by many of my female coworkers.

but a 4'10" woman who finds herself being treated like a child by the people in her life might want to be a little more buttoned-up, so that others see her as a grown woman to be reckoned with.

i see these as examples of dressing to tell an accurate story about oneself. it's just as important, though, that the story be positive as well as accurate.

of course, so much of life is about learning to look at your own story in a positive and empowering way. if something happens in your life, why look at it from a disempowering point of view? likewise, if you have a big ass, why dress it in an ugly garment that says "i hate you, big ass"?

it's much easier to live with it, and even possibly love it, if you put it in a dress that celebrates it.

[Radical]

What's wrong with a woman having a big ass?

[msd]

Originally Posted by Radical

What's wrong with a woman having a big ass?

I second that

[The Protagonist]

Style and fashion are very important to me. First off they are 2 different things, (I'm a male and therefore don't care about what Versace or Hugo Boss just put out), but walking down the street you'd be hard pressed to find a better styled person than me. Just read G.Q. if you are a male or Vogue if you're a female for fashion tips.

[Belle]

For me, style and fashion definitely have a lot of to do with personal growth. I actually did a full turnaround on this myself, the day that I realized the way I was dressing, and the way I felt about being "in style" had everything to do with a habit and a desire to be invisible.

Once I took a look at all the reasons why I wanted to be invisible, and the effect this was having on my life, I didn't want to be invisible anymore! And now, yes, style - MY style - and fashion are a part of my own personal path of growth and development.