Ok, What's my purpose again?

[Fifth_Column_Media]

Apparently this weekend I'm feeling a little insecure as the other day I was bothered by critique of my online publication and today I'm starting to wonder if I'm on the right path or if this is only a stepping stone.

For those of you who haven't seen my other posts I think I'll give you a little background on me. I'm 22, I run a new internet magazine and I go by D.A.N. (my initials). I thought for the two months that I've been working and writing for the magazine that it was my purpose, because its geared towards changing the world for the better and that is very important to me.

I'm doubting things though because the more I write, the less coherent it becomes. I mean I can write decently, but they never seem to come out really how I want. In things like art and music, I find it significantly easier to express myself, (especially music as that is my first passion) but when I write things they just seem to get jumbled and I end up not satisfied with it. I have places to display my art and music on the magazine site, but I don't have the means to do so at this time, plus its hard to gain interest without articles.

I thought maybe I am actually supposed to be a musician, or a music reviewer or something music related but I don't know anymore as although I would like that, its hard to make your living playing music at 22 and its hard to change the world playing blues in a smoky bar.

I know I want to change the world because I get upset about the problems I see, but I don't think I know enough to be a leader or if I want to be one, (I do know I care about people but that doesn't seem to be enough some days).

I'm planning on trying Steve's "find your purpose" exercise again and see what comes up, but I thought I'd see if anyone else has this problem, or can offer me some advice on getting past the doubt.

Thanks everyone, I think you'll hear from me a bit on this forum now as it seems like everyone is very friendly, intelligent and willing to help or offer positive criticism, unlike a lot of places I've seen online.

[ElizaJ]

I think your purpose is to follow your passion and be happy at whatever you want to do. You can change and help the world by being happy and sharing that happiness with other people, thus making the world a happier place!

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Fifth_Column_Media

I'm doubting things though because the more I write, the less coherent it becomes. I mean I can write decently, but they never seem to come out really how I want.

Spend more time reading and in conversation. The great thing about expressing something to someone else is they can give you immediate and relevant feedback and what you're failing to express, so you know what to work on, what to try out, and so on. The thing about reading is that you become used to seeing what kinds of expressions work and which ones don't, and it increases your "toolbox", so to speak.

Just some thoughts.

[Shaden]

I agree with Micheal; if you want to improve your writing skills then one of the best ways to do so is to read books and talk with people. Other peoples techniques get absorbed into our heads and it becomes easier to write naturally when you see what the best authors do.

[Fifth_Column_Media]

Thanks for the advice, but I'm still in doubt. I'm not sure its all my writing skills, or simply that I don't know enough about the topics I am writing about, or about anything.

So although improving my writing would help, and it has improved drastically since I started, because I simply don't know enough, even if I get across my point, my point itself comes off as jumbled because I don't have all the details and no amount of research seems to help, I just end up confusing my own point.

For example, I'm fascinated by all the philosophical ideas that Steve discusses in some of his articles and I've talked about with some people on here, but when I try to write my thoughts on these topics, I come off as confused because I simply don't know what to think, or what fits logically. I can find the right words when I'm sure about what to say, but I just don't know what to say or what to say without having to later contradict myself.

I'm reading this post and thinking the same thing actually, that I may not be getting across exactly what I want to say, because I don't really know.

Eliza, I like that purpose, but I don't know how I can pay my bills by being happy. I don't know... This will probably pass.

Thanks anyways everyone, I appreciate the help.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Fifth_Column_Media

I'm not sure its all my writing skills, or simply that I don't know enough about the topics I am writing about, or about anything.

In my experience, attempting to diagnose the problem doesn't really solve it. It makes sense to diagnose it, first, but it's also usually more effective to throw yourself out there, experiment, and fiddle with your life until it works better.

Originally Posted by Fifth_Column_Media

I don't know how I can pay my bills by being happy.

I'm certain that Steve has written a number of articles on that very subject that discuss it better than I could.

[Fifth_Column_Media]

Hey, everyone. Thanks for the advice. I ended up thinking about this problem a lot more and getting more and more upset until I asked a friend what he thought and everything came clear.

I think the problem I've been having recently is I've been too concerned about sounding like I know what I'm talking about and sounding like and expert instead of writing my opinion as my opinion. I'm now undertaking a bit of restructuring of my site and definitely a review of my writing to prevent me from slipping into this again.

I don't know how common this is, but between this realization and reviewing a few of Steve's articles I think I can push forward.

Also, I think my comments about paying my bills with happiness might have been rooted in feeling upset. I think I've read most of the articles Steve has written related to this and looking back on it now I can't see how that those thoughts weren't just coming from my negativity.

Still, again, I really appreciate everyone's insight and help. I feel much more positive and ready to go now than before. I'll have to keep a few reminders around to stop me from slipping into negativity again.