Dysfunctional studying, seeking guidance

[rohan]

Hi!

I am currently in college, studying computer engg. I have a major problem when it comes to studying:

I feel this massive surge of negativity in me when I begin studying. If not immediately, it takes 10-15 mins to attack me. I feel miserable, awful and unhappy when that happens. Studying becomes a drag and I seem to drag through it only under the "fear" of not "making it" in an exam. This affects all my relationships as I become incredibly mean and awful towards people, probably taking out all that negativity on to them.

I guess it's because of this intensely competitive atmosphere here and because I've failed miserably and not met people's expectations in the past.

How is such a problem do be dealt with?

[rei]

rohan, you might benefit from viewing this in terms of ideas from Eastern philosophy. what i mean is, things are not inherently positive or negative. they become one or the other because we choose to see them that way. you don't enjoy studying - or you have an intense negative reaction - because you attach to the idea of dreading it for various reasons, and perhaps because you are a bit gun-shy after the way others' expectations came into play in the past. that's all understandable, but you still have a choice.

here's an example from my own life... a few years ago my ex used to always pick me up when i finished teaching. he would bring his own car to give me a ride because parking was a bit difficult. he didn't have to do this, he did it because i asked. on multiple occasions, i'd get in the car ready to decompress after all that uninterrupted time around people and he would be blasting music that i didn't like (i didn't like the energy of the lyrics and this was magnified by the volume he played them). this caused several small arguments. one day, same situation, but i decided to view it differently. i realized the music was not inherently negative, i was making myself react to it as if it was. i simply allowed the music to be, did not judge it as a bad experience, and this made things much more comfortable.

same idea happened yesterday when i ended up in school traffic on my way home. i could have acted like a lot of people and whined and moaned about how it was taking longer to get home than i wanted, but i didn't. i simply enjoyed my music, danced around in my car in crawling traffic. i did not choose to let it stress me out. i chose to let it be a neutral or even positive experience.

you could apply this principle to studying as well.

you could also try to get to the bottom of the fear that creates the negative reaction. you could do this by writing about it in a notebook or talking to an understanding friend.

[ChaosKiwi]

Try studying in a manner that is completely different to what you would currently associate with studying.

Create insane ways of demonstrating various theories. Write out what you've learned on small cards and leave them on your friends/families persons without them knowing. Make what you are studying into a piece of art. Write down the stuff your revising in fire! Whatever!

Just make it fun and different. Get people involved. Make it less of a chore and more of an event!

Good luck!