Super confused about two things

[Aleksander Krstic]

Hi!

Would you help me clarify two things, I would be really grateful!

1)Looking people in the eyes
I don't really know if this aligns well with the principle of Love. I look at people into their eyes but am afraid I will get beaten up(you know, afraid with courage). |EDIT: I don't think being afraid of being beaten up is unaligned with Love.|

Where do I draw the line when looking people into their eyes? I know it's a very vague question but it's hard to concentrate right now(which is also an excuse).

2)Emotional black hole that I have
I have achieved a LOT compared to where I was before, but none of it gives me any happiness. I'm not emotionally retarded, I feel sadness, but I don't feel any happiness.

Is it because I'm still on the path to being, well... "fully grown" or am I on the wrong track?

Thank you in advance!

[Aleksander Krstic]

You don't have to answer both questions.

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by Aleksander Krstic

Hi!

Would you help me clarify two things, I would be really grateful!

1)Looking people in the eyes
I don't really know if this aligns well with the principle of Love. I look at people into their eyes but am afraid I will get beaten up(you know, afraid with courage). |EDIT: I don't think being afraid of being beaten up is unaligned with Love.|

Where do I draw the line when looking people into their eyes? I know it's a very vague question but it's hard to concentrate right now(which is also an excuse).

Yes, it's a vague question, but I'll answer it anyway
Do you mean looking people in the eye when you talk to them? Or when you just pass them on the street ?
I make a point of looking people in the eye when I address them or they address me. I've noticed that sometimes people don't even look at for example, cashiers, beggars etc. I always try to acknowledge the person in front of me.
However, I've also noticed that some people feel uncomfortable if you maintain eye contact all the time while talking to them, then I try to avert my gaze from time to time.

Could you give us a more specific example/situation in which you feel like this?

[Aleksander Krstic]

Thanks for your reply! I thought noone was going to answer...

I mean also when I talk to them, but mostly when I see them in the street(or indoors).

[Brutha]

1)Looking people in the eyes
I don't really know if this aligns well with the principle of Love. I look at people into their eyes but am afraid I will get beaten up(you know, afraid with courage). |

In most cases that emotion doesn't come up for rational reasons but because you are shy.
It's normal that shy people feel those things when looking others in the eye.

[Aleksander Krstic]

Originally Posted by Brutha

In most cases that emotion doesn't come up for rational reasons but because you are shy.
It's normal that shy people feel those things when looking others in the eye.

Very interesting. Thanks for the reply!(Man I sound like a salesperson...)

EDIT: Oh I forgot to give an example Tanja,... The worst case so far are people that are a "mild thugs". Not using guns, not fighting even once a year, but will kick your butt if you provoke them.

[Thomas H]

I think your just being scared on the 1st one. I used to have a fear like that, like I was gonna get beat up for looking at someone. What I noticed is that it's weird if you just look at someone, but looking at someone and saying hi and continuing past them seems perfectly normal. Even if they don't answer you back. I do this while I'm running all the time. As I pass someone who's walking I'll just look them in the eyes and say good morning. Everyone, no matter how "threatening" they look.

The fun thing I started to notice is that before I would say good morning to someone I would predict in my head what there response would be like, say hi back, smile and say hi back, not say anything ect. My predictions were usually totally off. The people I saw as threatening were usually gave the most friendly responses.

Oh and if you walk by a group and you want to say something just say what's up guys or hey guy's and keep going. I think this would be a good courage building exercise for you.