Writing Feedback

[AlwaysLearning]

Hi Everyone,

In his latest newsletter, Steve really emphasized getting feedback on your writing to improve as a writer. So let's start a writing feedback group I'll go first.. my blog is in my signature.. please give me feedback to make me a better writer. Be merciless

[ar81]

Wow!! You are eager to improve!! You are asking us to be merciless...

[aelle]

Oh hey, I'd love some feedback too. My blog is in my sig. I'm mostly aiming to improve my style rather than content right now (especially when it comes to having a consistent tone), but any feedback would be welcome!

[AlwaysLearning]

Originally Posted by aelle

Oh hey, I'd love some feedback too. My blog is in my sig. I'm mostly aiming to improve my style rather than content right now (especially when it comes to having a consistent tone), but any feedback would be welcome!

Hi Aelle.

You know you can get rid of the blogspot banner at the top? Google "remove blogger navbar" if you're interested.

Your logo at the top seems to be messed up; possibly because of different screen sizes? Here's a screenshot as it looks to me: http://glowingfaceman.com/temp/aelle.JPG

It's interesting how you have articles in both English and French on the same URL. As a longterm goal, it might be nice to separate them into two entirely different directories. Like aelle.com/english and aelle.com/french. Impossible on blogspot though unless you were willing to use two different blogspot subdomains.

The "THINK" article was cute. Wow I really want to do as much travel as you've done! Only international travel I've ever done was Japan!

[Gaz]

To Glowing Face Man.

I like your writing style. you seem to be able to get your point across clearly. The onyl criticism I really have is more to do with site layout. It looks like a book/university exam paper. a wall of text on a white background. If that's the idea you're going for then great. Even the posts with smiley's in work better, just something to break up the wall of text.

Hi Aelle

I can;t comment on the french, seeing as how I haven't spoken it in 10 years and it's a little rusty. as was said before, the english and french may be better segregated on the site, or on different sites. You may be able to set them up as duplicate posts so that the english readers see the english versions and the french readers see the french versions. not sure on the mechanics, but it is likely that someone over in the technology forum can help you out.

As far as the english writing goes. It's grammatically correct and factual and well, a little boring. The sections where you've commented (like "coughTNTsucksballscough") are more interesting. They seem to have a bit more of you attached to them. The rest reads like a news bulletin. Perhaps, throw in a few more comments, regardless of whether they are positive or negative. I guarantee they will make it more interesting.

And feel free to read the sort of things I write and then decide on whether or not to pay any attention to what I say. My Helium profile. i have a number of other things posted here and there, but this is the biggest collection at the moment.

[aelle]

Thanks for the feedback, guys! Points taken.

[brendannz]

I'm not good for constructive criticism, but I think your blog seems really unique.. It definitely seems interesting, and doesn't at all seem recycled material from elsewhere.

As well, it seems like you touch on complex subjects without writing too many pages about them.. concise, it is..

Good luck dude!