Anyone ever lived in a commune?

[Rockchick26]

I've been researching communes (intentional living communities, basically where you live off the land and use very little resources and money), and I thought I'd ask if anyone in here has ever done this. Apparently there aren't very many of them but I don't know why, this seems like the perfect way to live. You earn your keep by cooking, cleaning, helping the community as a whole, and everyone is like-minded and close-knit. No worries about money or bills, you're surrounded by nature, doesn't it sound perfect? So I just thought i'd ask if anyone has ever had any experiences living in one or known someone who has lived in one!

[Cran]

Well, I spent one year in a kibbutz, working as a volunteer. I don't know if you would consider this a commune in the strict sense, but the idea (using little money, living of the own ressources) certainly applies.

Do you have specific questions? In general, not everything that glitters is gold. The people in a commune might be united by a common goal for their lifestyle, but personalities and the cares of daily life will make the same trouble as in the next best middle-class family in Washington or anywhere else.

[aelle]

As an introvert, I know communal living can wear me thin, but I love the idea.

[aggie]

i am afraid i am a bit too private and sometimes anal for that type of living....but it may be great for some...i like the theory of it

[Manomanman]

YouTube - The Farm's Ecovillage Tour

It would be LOVELY to live in a commune. But hippies tend to be lazy.

I would rather TAKE the fruit of the peasants' labor, rather than be the peasant laboring.

If you could do it modern-like, it would be worth it. But you've got to watch out for lazy hippie mooches. If you've got good organization skills and can profit from the "civilized world" (ie. retreats), it would be worth it.

P.S. Every time I start that video I have to watch it all the way through.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

So I just thought i'd ask if anyone has ever had any experiences living in one or known someone who has lived in one!

I was born in one and lived in it for about 15-17 years.

I have a big, recomposed family. They've been living as a commune for more than 35 years now. It's a farm surrounded by lots of nature. When I was little they were living very much off what they used to produce themselves. Now they've gotten a bit wealthier and also have more money exchanges with the outside world. They still function as a commune though. The money and food are shared equally, the cars are shared, the work is shared and planned together, there is no boss, they eat together every day at lunch, partly because this is convenient to plan and discuss everything, partly because it is nice, and so on. We also had guests who stayed there and helped out in return - one of them even stayed for eight years!

No worries about money or bills

*cough* I don't want to disappoint you, but even if you eat only veggies from the garden, you'll need some objects from the outside world. There are also bills to pay, water, electricity, taxes, house maintenance, cars maintenance, insurances, doctors, school for the kids, and so on. Someone has to pay for all that. If you're just a "guest" and help out in return for staying there, you won't have this responsibility, but if you get involved long-term, it becomes yours too.

Also, farmer's work is hard work. You need to work physically and to get your butt out no matter the weather. Nature does not wait. If you think you can just lay around lazily and go to the garden pick a few tomatoes from time to time, you're wrong.

On a social level, communes are challenging. You need excellent communication and interpersonal skills. There are tensions, power struggles, jealousies, there are important decisions to make together and lots of conflicts that you need to deal with. I'm not saying it's all bad. It certainly is a great way of living, it's very nice and I love it. Just don't fool yourself into thinking it is easy. But it's certainly great for your personal development.

Hope this helps.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Cran

Well, I spent one year in a kibbutz, working as a volunteer. I don't know if you would consider this a commune in the strict sense, but the idea (using little money, living of the own ressources) certainly applies.

Do you have specific questions? In general, not everything that glitters is gold. The people in a commune might be united by a common goal for their lifestyle, but personalities and the cares of daily life will make the same trouble as in the next best middle-class family in Washington or anywhere else.

I've heard of a kibbutz but haven't researched it yet (so much to learn about, so little time! )

I know that personalities will clash everywhere you go, but in a commune (or so it seems) everyone understands each other and they don't feel like they are an alien there because they chose that lifestyle. I just feel like I don't fit in to mainstream society anymore and I also have a desire to break away from the rat race and I want to connect with nature and others like me. I also need a place to live where I feel part of a group (family and most friends just aren't cutting it). I've always envied people with large loving families.

On the other hand though, I am not one who likes to "rough it", I hate camping and sleeping in crowded areas and not having indoor plumbing. I was wondering if there were communes out there that are exactly what I'm looking for, because so far I've found a ton that have most of what I want but I haven't found the perfect one yet. I could create my own, I suppose, but seeing how long it takes to get these started, I'd be better off finding one that already exists. I'm not one to want that major of a responsibility.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by aelle

As an introvert, I know communal living can wear me thin, but I love the idea.

I'm about as introverted as you can get, I am fine spending a few days on end by myself and even on days I'm with people I look forward to going home. So maybe this isn't for me, but I've seen some communes where everyone has their own bedroom and are not required to spend time with others if they don't want to. Those are the ones that don't grow their own food or make things as a community, though. I would like to be on a farm-type commune but yeah the almost constant being around people would get old to me fast too.

Hmmm. There has to be something out there perfect for me.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

I was born in one and lived in it for about 15-17 years.

I have a big, recomposed family. They've been living as a commune for more than 35 years now. It's a farm surrounded by lots of nature. When I was little they were living very much off what they used to produce themselves. Now they've gotten a bit wealthier and also have more money exchanges with the outside world. They still function as a commune though. The money and food are shared equally, the cars are shared, the work is shared and planned together, there is no boss, they eat together every day at lunch, partly because this is convenient to plan and discuss everything, partly because it is nice, and so on. We also had guests who stayed there and helped out in return - one of them even stayed for eight years!


*cough* I don't want to disappoint you, but even if you eat only veggies from the garden, you'll need some objects from the outside world. There are also bills to pay, water, electricity, taxes, house maintenance, cars maintenance, insurances, doctors, school for the kids, and so on. Someone has to pay for all that. If you're just a "guest" and help out in return for staying there, you won't have this responsibility, but if you get involved long-term, it becomes yours too.

Also, farmer's work is hard work. You need to work physically and to get your butt out no matter the weather. Nature does not wait. If you think you can just lay around lazily and go to the garden pick a few tomatoes from time to time, you're wrong.

On a social level, communes are challenging. You need excellent communication and interpersonal skills. There are tensions, power struggles, jealousies, there are important decisions to make together and lots of conflicts that you need to deal with. I'm not saying it's all bad. It certainly is a great way of living, it's very nice and I love it. Just don't fool yourself into thinking it is easy. But it's certainly great for your personal development.

Hope this helps.

Wow, thanks for all that information! I wasn't certain if this would be for me, but I'm realizing that parts of it are and parts of it aren't. About the bills, I'm sure it's much cheaper in a commune than out in mainstream society...right now my bills, including rent, are around $1200. And I just live in a one bedroom apartment, i have no car payments, no health insurance, no kids, and no outstanding loans. I am living as cheap as I can, so anything would be an improvement.

I'm only lazy right now because I have no job, I've gotten worse only because I can. But if I had a job or lived where I had to contribute, I could easily work in the garden, prepare dinner, whatever...it seems more like just going about your daily life rather than work, because most people do those things anyway. I just can't find a single thing I want to do for a living that doesn't involve a fun hobby. So, I'm either going to have to follow through with this plan or get low paying jobs and rent a room out of somebody's house because I was not cut out for this rat-race mainstream life that 99% of the population conforms to.

[Cran]

Everyone understands each other? You should go and live in a commune for some time to get rid of too much idealism!

[blossom]

I've only stayed as a guest at a commune, and it was beautiful and functional and I'm so glad I had the experience, but I agree with Cran...it isn't all everyone understanding each other, and unless you can pick the people you want to form one with...basically it's like shared living, getting to know complete strangers, and seeing all their issues eventually and your own...I lived with two people recently who had lived in communes, and they totally expected me to conform to their way of doing things without even communicating with me about it, and then treated me like I was mean for wanting to have a bowl of fruit in my room just for me...like I HAD to share everything or else I was selfish and narcissistic. There was no room for discussion of what each of us want ti to be like, and I think it's important to establish good communication from the start and commit to that as part of respectful living...otherwise it can all turn very ugly, VERY quickly.

I agree it's all good in theory, but realistically there will always be people who don't pull their weight which causes resentment with the ones who do. I'm introverted also, so I like my space, and don't want to feel like I HAVE to always be around other people. In a commune, you're expected to want to hang out with your ' family' 24/7. Also, some of the hippy males can be pretty assuming that because you're there that you will have sex with them...but that's a boundary issue, and I'm sure it isn't a problem in all communes. There are actually quite a few around, but they are out in the mountains and the forest all over the place, and you pretty much have to hear about them through word of mouth from ex or current communers.

[Lauxa]

Great thread, I've also had much curiosity about communal living.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Cran

Everyone understands each other? You should go and live in a commune for some time to get rid of too much idealism!

Well I meant that everyone understands what it's like to be environmentally active and non-mainstream. Mainstream society does not understand me, and I don't know where else to go, really. I get flak from my family and friends for simply buying organic food in the grocery store!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by blossom

I've only stayed as a guest at a commune, and it was beautiful and functional and I'm so glad I had the experience, but I agree with Cran...it isn't all everyone understanding each other, and unless you can pick the people you want to form one with...basically it's like shared living, getting to know complete strangers, and seeing all their issues eventually and your own...I lived with two people recently who had lived in communes, and they totally expected me to conform to their way of doing things without even communicating with me about it, and then treated me like I was mean for wanting to have a bowl of fruit in my room just for me...like I HAD to share everything or else I was selfish and narcissistic. There was no room for discussion of what each of us want ti to be like, and I think it's important to establish good communication from the start and commit to that as part of respectful living...otherwise it can all turn very ugly, VERY quickly.

I agree it's all good in theory, but realistically there will always be people who don't pull their weight which causes resentment with the ones who do. I'm introverted also, so I like my space, and don't want to feel like I HAVE to always be around other people. In a commune, you're expected to want to hang out with your ' family' 24/7. Also, some of the hippy males can be pretty assuming that because you're there that you will have sex with them...but that's a boundary issue, and I'm sure it isn't a problem in all communes. There are actually quite a few around, but they are out in the mountains and the forest all over the place, and you pretty much have to hear about them through word of mouth from ex or current communers.

lol I am glad you brought that up about the hippy guys because a few that i've seen looked like they could have been pretty creepy but I didn't know if it was just me or what.

I guess what I'm trying to get at (regarding the "understanding each other" part) is just the like-mindedness. I would give almost anything to know someone IN PERSON who is like me. I honestly feel like an alien in my own surroundings. I can't even relate to my friends and family much anymore because I'm so different. And the reasons why they make communes is so these people that are different have somewhere to live amongst like minded people.

But I couldn't be in that close quarters with everyone though, not 24/7. I'm really glad I started this thread because the insight from those who have done it is priceless. Thanks for all your replies, everyone!

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Well I meant that everyone understands what it's like to be environmentally active and non-mainstream. Mainstream society does not understand me, and I don't know where else to go, really. I get flak from my family and friends for simply buying organic food in the grocery store!

Really? 'Cause I never get flak for buying organic, here in Austin everyone is seemingly trying to out-organic each other. Maybe you could use a change of scenery.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Really? 'Cause I never get flak for buying organic, here in Austin everyone is seemingly trying to out-organic each other. Maybe you could use a change of scenery.

Yeah my dad scolds me for buying organic because it's "too expensive" and since i'm unemployed I shouldn't buy it, my friends look at me wierd when I tell them what i'm eating, and say stuff like, "What is that?! You're so wierd! Why don't you eat hot dogs like eveyone else!?" Then my dad gives me bags of free food a lot and I feel bad complaining but all he gives me are tv dinners, pot pies, cookies, chips, bacon, frozen pizzas, etc. Then when I tell him what i'm eating he gets upset "Don't you ever eat normal stuff!?" It's just wearing a little thin. And that's just the food part of it! I avoid talking to people about my beliefs about the government, religion, the rat race of society, they'd probably accuse me of being in a cult or something. It's a shame that people who go against the grain are made to feel like there is something wrong with them. I feel it's the opposite. And that's where I get into trouble relating to the people in my life. Sorry I kinda went on and on there

[blossom]

People are ignorant!

Do you understand WHY they give you so much crap about it? It's because you are going against what they see is normal, and that challenges them...they don't want to question anything, the status quo, the environment...they just want to feel like they fit in. By living your life the way you think is right, you are subtly causing them to look at their life, and it rattles them! By you going against the 'norm' and not fitting in, it makes them feel uncomfortable, like maybe everything they know to be true isn't, but it's just so much easier to go along with it, than it is to reach for something better and that allows you to live a life of integrity. You are basically showing them their own LIE that is their life, and they don't like at all!

[freddy]

You could try and find a farmer who need some help. And work with them for next to nothing in exchange for rent of a trailer and any food you consume.
I was looking into buying a small property 5 or 10 acres. And I think about how hard it would be to run by myself having all the chores of feeding animals and tending to the crops. I think I'm still going to try getting a property if no other reason but to be closer to nature, and hopefully to help widlife when I can. I know of a girl who came in as a care taker for one of my business customers. The guy is very well off. but this lady cuts the grass and dose different chores on the property. I think she get a small living salary but the trailer she lives in is old. like the first one ever built old. I think she has a really cool job myself. I will probably consider doing that type of thing myself if I get this property. As of right now I could not just drop every thing I'm doing for a living and move to a farm. But I am considering buying the land now while property prices are somewhat low. Where I'm loooking to buy at, is about an hour drive away. But thats still a bit to far of a drive right now, to still do my business type work. DO you like warm weather.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by blossom

People are ignorant!

Do you understand WHY they give you so much crap about it? It's because you are going against what they see is normal, and that challenges them...they don't want to question anything, the status quo, the environment...they just want to feel like they fit in. By living your life the way you think is right, you are subtly causing them to look at their life, and it rattles them! By you going against the 'norm' and not fitting in, it makes them feel uncomfortable, like maybe everything they know to be true isn't, but it's just so much easier to go along with it, than it is to reach for something better and that allows you to live a life of integrity. You are basically showing them their own LIE that is their life, and they don't like at all!

Yes, I totally understand what's happening, it just sucks when it constantly causes friction between us. It wouldn't be so bad if people were willing to think open-mindedly, rather than cutting me down and trying to make me feel like I'm wrong.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by freddy

You could try and find a farmer who need some help. And work with them for next to nothing in exchange for rent of a trailer and any food you consume.
I was looking into buying a small property 5 or 10 acres. And I think about how hard it would be to run by myself having all the chores of feeding animals and tending to the crops. I think I'm still going to try getting a property if no other reason but to be closer to nature, and hopefully to help widlife when I can. I know of a girl who came in as a care taker for one of my business customers. The guy is very well off. but this lady cuts the grass and dose different chores on the property. I think she get a small living salary but the trailer she lives in is old. like the first one ever built old. I think she has a really cool job myself. I will probably consider doing that type of thing myself if I get this property. As of right now I could not just drop every thing I'm doing for a living and move to a farm. But I am considering buying the land now while property prices are somewhat low. Where I'm loooking to buy at, is about an hour drive away. But thats still a bit to far of a drive right now, to still do my business type work. DO you like warm weather.

Yes, I ONLY like warm weather!

I'm not really into the whole raising animals for food thing, in fact I'm trying to go vegetarian. I am interested in growing food, you know like fruits and vegetables. I could never kill an animal then eat it (although I love hamburgers and tacos, etc. but I myself could not kill an animal i've been raising)

[freddy]

I hear you. I would only eat eggs from chickens or use cow poo for crops. I'm not killing Elsey the cow. They would die from old age like me. One thought I had, would be like a farm animal rescue. Save them from the chopping block. Seems like now, people are losing there farms due to the bad times.The animals are the first to be uncared for.
I remember as a kid. I would go deer hunting with my brothers. They always thougth I was a bad shot. I think a little bird I shot when I was about 8 or 10 made an inpact on me never to kill and animal. Short of starving to death. But I don't see that happening anytime soon.

[Strangemagik]

Nope never live in commune. Sounds like interesting stuff. I have heard of The Farm before. I'm introverted and don't think I'd mind once I knew people. I do pretty good escaping "people" by going into my own daydreams.

I agree people are ignorant. Eat how you want and ignore them. You can always pass along the food he gives you. People i society are not open-minded enough, and want to hold on to the delusion they are doing what they think they should.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Apparently there aren't very many of them but I don't know why

Not very many?

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