I want to express my femininity more!

[Andrew Gubb]

I was talking with Rose of Cairo about the topic of sexuality. She's a male soul, meaning that she's been male in most of her incarnations. I'm a female soul, though my body is male. We androgynous people seem to flock together I actually noticed this a lot in my life, that highly developed people tend to be androgynous. Rose told me about what Soul Realignment has to say about that. Apparently we start incarnating in bodies of a different sexual essence to what we are used to, to complete our growth. A highly evolved soul is both man and woman.

I've been finding out about this recently. The first time I heard (about two years ago) that most people have had lives of both genders it felt weird to hear it... yet kind of good. And recently as I've come to understand and accept that my soul has had more female lifetimes than male, it's been as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's like, "Oh yeah, I'm feminine. I don't have to go around pretending anymore. I'm free!"

So now I have a funny goal... I want to learn to express my repressed femininity again. I'd pushed it under because the guys at school made fun of me. But now I don't go to school and don't have to spend time with people who are going to be cruel to me for being what I am. So I want to break out of my shell and really express my feminine side with relish, whatever anyone says. That would feel so good

It's funny, I look at my own writing and it looks like I think of it as a "guilty pleasure"! But what the heck do I have to feel guilty about?

Anyone else had this sort of experience?

[ssandra]

I am wondering... how do you know that you are a male or female soul?

[Andrew Gubb]

In the case of both me and Rose we find it odd to look at ourselves in mirrors. We really don't feel like the body we see in front of us.

Rose is psychic, so she sees her higher self, who appears as a man. I'm less confident in my psychic abilities, but I had a reading with Anna Conlan who told me I had had more lives as a woman than as a man. I also see my inner self as female, though I'm still not sure if that's my imagination or what.

[ssandra]

I am wondering because always when I picture myself in my fantasy I see myself as a man...

I also have plenty characteristics that I would consider manly, and a lot less female.

I don´t really care about it, I am really happy the way I am, but if my soul would be manly that would explain a lot. Especially dreams I have of having sex being the man....

[Holistic Star]

What does femininity mean to you Andrew?

What would it mean for you to express it? What aspects would you want to express.

Given that you've chosen a male incarnation this time round, how would you like to express your feminine side along side your masculine side?


(As a complete OT - I'm friends with a man who was my daughter in our last lives together! Still haven't quite got my head around that one yet! His soul prefers to incarnate as female too).

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I am wondering because always when I picture myself in my fantasy I see myself as a man...

I also have plenty characteristics that I would consider manly, and a lot less female.

I don´t really care about it, I am really happy the way I am, but if my soul would be manly that would explain a lot. Especially dreams I have of having sex being the man....

Yes, I dream of having sex but being the woman in the same way. I think I'm bisexual, but I have to admit that when I think of having sex with a man what I REALLY want is to be a woman having sex with a man. Wierd

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Holistic Star

What does femininity mean to you Andrew?

What would it mean for you to express it? What aspects would you want to express.

Given that you've chosen a male incarnation this time round, how would you like to express your feminine side along side your masculine side?


(As a complete OT - I'm friends with a man who was my daughter in our last lives together! Still haven't quite got my head around that one yet! His soul prefers to incarnate as female too).

I see femininity as being when you express your energy in all directions rather than just one. It makes me very colourful, flowy, and well, expressive. Then when I express my masculinity it's like I know what I want and I feel a joy in the feeling of freedom as I progress. I also find competition inspiring, not for ego reasons but for the sheer love of it. Being feminine I don't want to take action to get anywhere, and I don't like fighting; I just want to feel full of love.

I see them as different facets of me, though I would say that in general I'm more masculine. Still, I'd like to enjoy both of these energies to their maximum extent and express them both in my life, depending simply on how I'm feeling at the time

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I'd like to enjoy both of these energies to their maximum extent and express them both in my life, depending simply on how I'm feeling at the time

I would focus on less on labeling your thoughts and actions as feminine or masculine, and simply do what inspires you: focus on expressing yourself in away that feels good according to how you're feeling at the time.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Angela

I would focus on less on labeling your thoughts and actions as feminine or masculine, and simply do what inspires you: focus on expressing yourself in away that feels good according to how you're feeling at the time.

I don't waste much energy labelling them, Angela. I really don't care what I call them, but I find that feminity is a good word for this energy, and when I use this energy, people tend to think I'm gay.

[rei]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I don't waste much energy labelling them, Angela. I really don't care what I call them, but I find that feminity is a good word for this energy, and when I use this energy, people tend to think I'm gay.

are you saying you don't want others to think you are gay, or is that strictly a response to the idea of labeling?

funny, as ssandra said, sometimes in sex, the only way i've been able to finish was to picture myself as the guy (not in a masturbatory way, more like switching places, hard to explain but maybe you know what i mean). i have tried on lesbianism to see if it was right for me. women are really great kissers, blow most guys out of the water. but yes, i am also pretty androgynous. in some moments i feel more masculine and other moments i feel more feminine. sometimes the feminine feels strange. especially like the external feminine (caring about makeup tricks, shopping, manicures, etc.).

Andrew have you tried interpretive movement? maybe belly-dancing? your body may not want to cooperate but if you move like a woman moves to sultry music, this may tap into your more feminine side. doesn't have to be belly-dancing, that's just an example. i would imagine a masculine form is often more connected to physical expression (vitality, working with the hands, etc.) so maybe if you mix this physicality with feminine movement it will bring out your inner feminine.

you could even try out cross dressing, makeup, the whole nine yards. your inner self might need something that... boisterous... if she has been repressed.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I don't waste much energy labelling them, Angela. I really don't care what I call them, but I find that feminity is a good word for this energy, and when I use this energy, people tend to think I'm gay.

So what?

[ssandra]

This is great!! I thought it was just part of my own very special crazyness.. but there are actually more people like this!

Anyway.. back to the discussion...

Maybe you can try and just feel more. I believe this is the main difference between male and female energy

Male: Action-Reacion, doing, active, in the moment
Female: cause-effect, thinking, relective, future and past thinking

I would agree with somebody who said it before, just do whatever you feel like, you will notice that you will get in touch with whatever energy needs to be out in that moment...

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Angela

So what?

So I repressed myself and want to un-repress myself.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

So I repressed myself and want to un-repress myself.

Why did you repress yourself? Because people might think you are gay? That's what I'm asking "so what" about. If you can see why you repressed yourself, you may get some insight as to how to be free.

[lasti]

Wow, thank you for this thread! I don't know about my last incarnations or my higher self but I feel quite the same except I've got a female body at the moment.

[alsy]

Just to throw an alternative tint on the Feminine, the following link talks about "How to Access Your Fertile Feminine", from a TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) perspective. I found it quite interesting actually..

It mentions quite a few things. The following particularly stood out for me;
Being is Yin (feminine),
Doing is Yang (Masculine)


How to Access Your Fertile Feminine - Free Online Library

[brendannz]

I'm more masculine, but I used to label some aspects of myself as feminine..

I find the easiest way for me, is to just not worry about being masculine or feminine.. It's only going to restrict you, IMO by having these labels for what you do.

But some ways I can think of to get in touch with your femininity that may help.

Take up writing, or painting, or dancing.. Dress in drag, or just wear more floral type clothing..

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I see femininity as being when you express your energy in all directions rather than just one. It makes me very colourful, flowy, and well, expressive. Then when I express my masculinity it's like I know what I want and I feel a joy in the feeling of freedom as I progress. I also find competition inspiring, not for ego reasons but for the sheer love of it. Being feminine I don't want to take action to get anywhere, and I don't like fighting; I just want to feel full of love.

If that's your definition of feminine, I'd say I'm more feminine than masculine, but on the surface I'm more masculine.

Weird.. But to me these definitions are more restrictions.. That's how it works with me, but whatever works with you..

[Andrew Gubb]

I don't see dressing in drag as being excessively feminine. It's more like... wierd.

I think clothing can be male in style while expressing feminine energy.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I don't see dressing in drag as being excessively feminine. It's more like... wierd.

I think clothing can be male in style while expressing feminine energy.

I read in the newspaper once that 1 in 5 men purchase womens underwear from time to time,

I wouldn't have a clue how true it is, but can imagine it being common among straight men..

[Gene]

Originally Posted by brendannz

I read in the newspaper once that 1 in 5 men purchase womens underwear from time to time,

I wouldn't have a clue how true it is, but can imagine it being common among straight men..

I believe that number might be lower than the number of men who have purchased female underwear. I have purchased them for my wife, daughters and girlfriends. Are sexy nighties considered underwear? If the answer is yes the percentage of men who have purchased female underwear increased dramatically.

[Holistic Star]

I don't see Andrew saying he wants to express his femininity as being though clothes. I assumed you were talking more about traits.

So being more in tune with the nurturing side of himself.

I think the underwear conversation detracts from that.

[Grindin]

Be careful with allowing the core of your character to change based on a theory that the majority of people in this world would consider delusional.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Gene

I believe that number might be lower than the number of men who have purchased female underwear. I have purchased them for my wife, daughters and girlfriends. Are sexy nighties considered underwear? If the answer is yes the percentage of men who have purchased female underwear increased dramatically.

I don't remember the exact article, but the catchline was "if you have 5 or more males in your workplace, there is a good chance that one of them is purchasing womens underwear and NOT for their partner"

It was partly a light hearted article, and I wouldn't read too much into that statistic, but I think they were saying it's more common than you'd think..

haha

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Grindin

Be careful with allowing the core of your character to change based on a theory that the majority of people in this world would consider delusional.

It's not a f***ing theory, it's how I god-damn feel!

Anti-sexual-differences people get so nuts sometimes.

[rei]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

It's not a f***ing theory, it's how I god-damn feel!

Anti-sexual-differences people get so nuts sometimes.

Andrew, i don't think that person's post is very helpful. i see all sorts of limited thinking in Grindin's comment. you are in charge of what you want to do, based on how you feel. as i'm sure you know.

i don't find your feelings delusional at all. you obviously have much more support with this than the naysayer stuff.

p.s. if we are all the captains of our own ships, who cares about what the majority thinks anyway. they aren't in charge of our ships. that statement seems to be very much from a follower mentality.

[rei]

Andrew, i have another idea for a way you can reconnect with your inner femininity. i can't really explain how or why i think it will work, but you might find it helpful.

begin to take long, luxurious baths, instead of mostly taking showers, if in fact you mainly take showers.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by rei

Andrew, i have another idea for a way you can reconnect with your inner femininity. i can't really explain how or why i think it will work, but you might find it helpful.

begin to take long, luxurious baths, instead of mostly taking showers, if in fact you mainly take showers.

Yes! That feels very right, thank you rei!

However, I don't know if I can pull that off. I don't have a bath

I wonder if I can get my friend to let me use his?

[ssandra]

I don´t know where you live, but in the Netherlands and belgium we have very nice Spa´s. They are saunas with nice relaxing areas, very good food.
Basically it is walking around naked or in a bathrope all day long. Very nice, very relaxing and indulging

You can also get massages, facials etc. Footmassages are very very nice.

[rei]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Yes! That feels very right, thank you rei!

However, I don't know if I can pull that off. I don't have a bath

I wonder if I can get my friend to let me use his?

yay! you're welcome, Andrew the idea just came to me, as i was bathing (bath over shower IS one of the more feminine-slanted things i enjoy).

if your friend is an understanding person, i bet he wouldn't mind.
as ssandra suggested, the spa is also a very pamper-friendly place, they have them in many areas of the world. they are a lil expensive, but often/usually totally worth it!