Trying to improve.. need help

[Ribbles]

About a month ago I quit smoking pot. About 10 days ago I quit drinking alcohol and caffeine.. Now I feel depressed. I feel hopeless. I feel VERY indecisive. Like I don't know what to do with my life. Honestly... I've always felt this way.. I guess I was just putting blinds over my eyes with drugs and partying to at least spend my time some way.

Now I don't know what to do. I go to my crappy job. I come home. I sleep.. I sleep about 12 hrs a day. Actually a lot of that isn't sleeping. It's just laying there. I don't feel motivated to do anything but the minimum. I sit around and think about what I should do with my life.. should I start a business. Should I promote and work my way up at my job. Should I be an EMT and get into the fire fighting industry.

I feel like I am paralyzed by all the options and as soon as I pick one I feel like it's not the best one and I keep procrastinating and thinking.

I almost want to go back to just working my day job and partying the weekend away but that doesn't help my problem. I have felt this way for the past 3 years now. I just can't decide on what to do. I've tried telling myself to follow the path with a heart. When I feel like I've figured out which path it is I realize that I'm not really sure.

Does anyone have any advice?

[The Cloud]

Do the wrong thing. You're life sucks, so you might as well screw it up more by getting promoted or becoming a firefighter or quitting your job.

[ar81]

I think you are a great person, and the world outside is happy.
But there is a bichemical veil in your brain that makes you feel like that.
Drugs cheated your brain, and lack of drugs trigger biochemical processes that make you feel like that.
You probably may need to see a doctor.

Brain is like any other organ.
And congratulations for leaving pot behind.
Try to stay away from it as much as you can.

If you become a firefighter you need to be sharp and awaken.
Almost any job needs this.

When confused it is the worst time to make a decision.
It is Ok not to decide when confused.
Get inner peace, overcome the biochemical cheat, gain control of your body and life. Then you could make any decision in the outside world.

[Maxwell Jennings]

Here's an article that might help you find some motivation:

Finding Your Passion | Power Essence Self Improvement

[sheffy4]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Do the wrong thing. You're life sucks, so you might as well screw it up more by getting promoted or becoming a firefighter or quitting your job.

This was a beautiful response! I have the same problem. Indecisive paralysis...
But that "do the wrong thing" comment was good. It hit me in the right spot. I'm takin' it and running!

[rak]

Hi Ribbles,

I been in your situation before where I dont feel motivated to do something. I feel that whatever I do is just non-sense. For me what I can advice to you is to just go with the flow. As of now if you dont feel that you want to do anything so just be it, be quite, reflect or do some meditation.

I believe that one day or soon you will feel realize what you really want to do, but I warn you that once you know what you really want to do you may see lots or tons of obstacle to do what you want to do and I say do your best on not being immobalize.

Wish you the best
rak

[aelle]

Congratulations Ribbles, your blinders just fell off

It can be scary, ovewhelming, disheartening to be faced with so much choice and so many responsibilities to take charge of your own life, can't it? The Cloud's approach (do the wrong thing) is a witty way of putting it: do something, anything. See how it feels. Steve has written a lot about what he calls the ready-fire-aim approach (you can start here).

Never forget that feeling. The scary face of freedom. The day you don't feel it anymore, make sure you haven't built a new prison around you

[Ribbles]

Thanks for the advice everyone. It means a lot. If anyone has anything else feel free to add in.

[Benny2]

Maybe you had these problems all alone. The drinking and druging just masked these problems. Now that you can see better you realize how confuse you have really been. You may need some professional help to assist you sort through these issues. Finding oneself is not an easy task. The most important thing is not waste time because you really did not seek out quality answers. I know from personal experience that depression hurt terribly. I also know how that important it is to find who you are and what you were made to do well. Don't be surprise to find out that you can do many things throughout your life time. Career changes are know a reality especially in these tough economic times.

[ar81]

If you want to escape reality, use arts to vent your emotions.
Here some tutorials.
Main Page - Fantasy Art Resources and Tutorials
Notice that arts that result from venting your emotions are for yourself only, not to the public. Public may criticize it, or may have a wrong opinion about you, but the goal of making it was not to make a masterpiece, just to create a way to vent what you feel at some moment.

[Andrew Gubb]

Your talk has a lot of "shoulds" in it. It's like you're telling yourself what to do... as if you were an authority figure controlling yourself. Those guys can't affect you unless they get into your own head. Try turning it around. Instead of "what should I do?" "What do I WANT to do? What would make me feel good?" Try being selfish and free. I give you permission . A lot of times true morality appears when you give up ethics (rules, shoulds, and control to create an appearance of morality). You don't need to be moral to please others. You don't need to live well to please others. You don't need to do anything to please others. Be an absolute bastard if you want. If that causes pain to your heart, be selfish and start loving more.

I spent a lot of time in apathy and believe me I know what it's like. At this point it was good for me to learn to accept and express my anger and hatred for the people who I perceived as opressing me. It's not optimum to live like that forever, but it helps you see things more as they are rather than avoiding the truth, and as such it's a step forward.

Also remember and cultivate the part of yourself that knows life can be so much more. It's there somewhere. Nurture that feeling. It can cause you to feel desperate, but the feeling will be buried under there somewhere in any case so really all you're doing is refusing to ignore it. Remember that people do find that place again even when they sink so low - I can testify to that. That should help spur you to action.

Make some changes.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Hugs

Andrew

[straysweeper]

I can sympathize with you. I've spent years making the worse than a wrong decision, and that is no decision. But I'm coming across some good stuff that may help.

First, Forgive yourself for where you are now, and where you've been. Lay down the burden of all those shoulds of what your life should be. You can't change the past, and I believe one day you'll look back at what you had to face and feel gratitude for the lessons you've learned. Letting go of what you think you should be, put your faith in God or something greater than yourself if that helps. Accept what is, and if you can Embrace it.

This is practice, as all you can do is in this moment, and then the next moment will be this moment. Something I've always thought intuitively, Take care of now, and the future will take care of itself.

Second, be Honest with yourself, about what you want to have in your life, what values and principle you connect with. Who do you really want to be? But be careful don't project who you want to be in the future, think of who you want to be right here in this moment. Because some later moment, or some unknown experience in life will come in and shift what you think you want some later point in life.

I think these two things will really help. Looking in the mirror as you do this might even help.

[Ribbles]

Thank you everyone.

I went on a drinking binge this past weekend. It's hard not to be tempted when I live with roommates who do it every weekend But it's not an excuse. I didn't get anything done and regretted it, got really sick as well. even though I did enjoy spending time with them it was empty time, not at all fulfilling. I think I do it because when I get drunk I feel extremely decisive. I feel like I know exactly what to do with my life. Then I sober up and feel unsure again and ridiculous.

I want to get involved with something outdoors. I'm going to look up a hiking group and start hiking so I have a reason to get up early on the weekends.

I was training in Martial Arts for 5 yrs consistently up until January of 2008. I have been showing up every now and then but not consistently. I am going to start going again. I bet one of the reasons I feel so crappy is because I haven't been exercising consistently for over a year. I'm out the door now to go get a haircut. Sharing with everyone makes me feel better already.

[Ribbles]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Your talk has a lot of "shoulds" in it. It's like you're telling yourself what to do... as if you were an authority figure controlling yourself. Those guys can't affect you unless they get into your own head. Try turning it around. Instead of "what should I do?" "What do I WANT to do? What would make me feel good?" Try being selfish and free. I give you permission . A lot of times true morality appears when you give up ethics (rules, shoulds, and control to create an appearance of morality). You don't need to be moral to please others. You don't need to live well to please others. You don't need to do anything to please others. Be an absolute bastard if you want. If that causes pain to your heart, be selfish and start loving more.

I spent a lot of time in apathy and believe me I know what it's like. At this point it was good for me to learn to accept and express my anger and hatred for the people who I perceived as opressing me. It's not optimum to live like that forever, but it helps you see things more as they are rather than avoiding the truth, and as such it's a step forward.

Also remember and cultivate the part of yourself that knows life can be so much more. It's there somewhere. Nurture that feeling. It can cause you to feel desperate, but the feeling will be buried under there somewhere in any case so really all you're doing is refusing to ignore it. Remember that people do find that place again even when they sink so low - I can testify to that. That should help spur you to action.

Make some changes.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Hugs

Andrew

This was very touching to me. I've read everyone posts multiple times and they're all touching. But this one especially. Thanks.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Ribbles

This was very touching to me. I've read everyone posts multiple times and they're all touching. But this one especially. Thanks.

Thanks in return. I was impressed myself at what came out, one of your angels must have really wanted to get heard

Andrew