A Labyrinth Before Action

[GeorgeMagister]

The thread title sums it up, I am experiencing a dilemma of sorts.

All of this is regarding compassion to insects. So if you gather this is much ado about nothing, I don't think that you could conceivably help me out with my feelings and growth. I just ask that you don't lambaste my efforts as I cope with this.

It seems a bit odd to me, that this matter, in all its complexity and facets is what becomes my first post in this community. While it isn't trivial, and I certainly hope it doesn't come off as trivial, still it is strange and atypical nonetheless. If you think that my past is irrelevant to get insight into this, then skip ahead to the heading "The Present" though it isn't much of a shortcut.

I've fostered insects in the past. That were either down on luck or, in the case of one, seemingly unnaturally attracted to me. In the Balkans I kept a beetle overnight while I rehydrated him/her, that had been crawling around the dry sterile environment that was the hospital I worked in for who-knows-how-long. Not understanding the impulse to kill a living thing needlessly, I make it a point to relocate any creature (mollusks and arthropods included) back to nature. And if an hour later a hypothetical charge of mine is caught and preyed on, that doesn't change the fact that I choose to show care and compassion to it (even though it doesn't have the ability to ever be cognizant of it) and sent it off to not waste away inside a human dwelling, even when it untimely passes on and helps turn the cogs of the natural world.

The Present

Earlier this week, a firefly (presumptively Photinus Carolinus) was knocked on her back on my back patio. I had just let my pack of dogs out and was worried this beetle would be trampled. I picked her up, and noticed she was gravid from deduction. Not knowing much about fireflies, I wanted to ensure her final mission was taken care of. She was no doubt incapable of flight, her abdomen looked unusually long and distended. It was reminiscent of queen ants that have not yet clipped their wings off.

I gave her water which she took to with gusto. And during this "unknown window of time" I decided she would be with me, I decided to endeavor to educate myself and get her to an ideal place to lay the clutch of eggs.

A lot of the studies in the scientific community are really focused on the distribution and the luminosity of fireflies. Not really a wealth of information on ovaposition behaviors and preferences (if at all). All I gathered was "moist soil". I applied a few details here and there from information on close relatives to the genus. So I had a plan of attack, so to speak.

Only, my life is a little off-balance. Okay, it is really off-balance. Delays happen. Childcare takes front stage. So do the aforementioned dogs. Sometimes a brain fart during the course of the day gets me prioritizing the wrong things. Up until sunset (when the beetle would become active once more) I had all this time to manage the household as the stay-at-home-dad, and get the ova site ready. Lately I've been trying to be optimistic in the face of my depression and other issues, so I can understand my reasoning that I would somehow find a way to make it work on day 2 for the firefly (named 'Vitafera' at this point, my questionable Latin nomenclature of "Life Bearer" notwithstanding). Ut just didn't work out as I had hoped. I started to get worried about her sluggishness, as I had read that depending on the species it could be hours to days before it was ready (and that the scientific banks of knowledge were inadequate in being able to distinguish between cases). Some species of fireflies don't consume food at all as adults and only reproduce swiftly. I gave creating simulated nectar a shot. It worked. Vitafera was pacing around vibrantly for someone hauling around that weight, while I tried to actually finalize my judgment on what would accommodate her outdoors (as it required a little landscaping). But I couldn't get it started by sundown.

Worried about her oocytes requiring another spermatophore from a willing male (as the most successful females are multiply mated, and after the second usually for viability and not for fertility), and it being just after dusk I reasoned "why not grab this male flying right in front of me". I'd see if it would work by observing the encounter, and if nothing happens in the first, say, 10 minutes I'll let him go.

Here's where things went awry. Being plucky, he was not content to meet the female in this enclosure. For Vitafera, she did not need a lid. This guy however required it. So I decided to place a solid object, and return in a minute or two to observe if they had at least crossed feelers.

My mind went to crap, and I got distracted as a household of 4 with 4 dogs usually does. The air supply wasn't meant for more than 5 minutes. It was like over an hour I'd say, when I remembered. Horrified I rushed to their side. They were alive, despite the prolonged hypoxia, but certainly it did not look good. Very lethargic, and on gross exam it looked like they couldn't control their extremities very well. Vitafera could only manage to shuffle backwards. The male was even worse off. Since they were alive, I was hoping that I hadn't caused gross CNS damage. I didn't want the clutch that I suspect to be more than 100 and closer to ~150 to be lost. Accidentally dooming two insects, while very troubling to me, I could at least move on relatively soon. But a significant portion of next summer's fireflies snuffed out by my absent mindedness? I don't know if I can truly fathom the impact on my psyche, now and in the future.

With their faculties now, they may really only be the equivalent of what people colloquially label "vegetables". Or maybe they are just unable to control their bodies anymore. I don't know. What is the ethical thing to do here? Is she even able to lay them anymore, despite being alive?

My options were to see if they can heal by maybe regenerating nerves in following days, or euthanasia. I contacted the office of the foremost entomologists devoted to fireflies in the U.S.

The doctor of Entomology I spoke to lauded my efforts and grasp of the details surrounding this. But, confirming my suspicions, spoke of lack of scientific documentation on firefly ovaposition, and even couldn't say definitively the finality of the eggs not being viable inside the mother if she dies without laying them. With a well-meaning, but glum, resignation he suggested attempting to extract the eggs in case she dies first. I mentioned her species earlier because Dr. B. had also told me that her loss of contribution wasn't devastating as the distribution of these guys right now is apparently not threatened. I can intellectually grasp that, and yet it just isn't enough to the potential lives I may have destroyed.

I guess my point is that I am in an ethical position that has no current scientific/medical knowledge to help decide the outcome of. I took her in, the choice was mine, and in doing so I am responsible for the outcome. I am also open to the possibility that the previous fosters I took in set me up for this scenario, and that maybe there was a reason Vitafera ended up with me? Or perhaps it's just random. I don't know. I'm deeply troubled, and saddened, and I need insight from without. I do not have the applied discipline to even ask my guides, in the window of time this situation demands. And I highly doubt that even attempting to contact my guides for the first time in a trial-by-fire scenario is a healthy option.

You guys are collectively my "make or break" resort. Thanks for your time in advance, if not for anything else but for putting up with my usual long-winded-ness and over-pensive-ness. I need to find the road to solace, and I need your help.

[craftyjake]

I honestly don't think there's an issue here. Compassion for all things in life is beautiful and a gift. What's the question?

[GeorgeMagister]

Originally Posted by craftyjake

Compassion for all things in life is beautiful and a gift. What's the question?

It's not like I'm trying to rid myself of my tendencies. I can't imagine myself any other way. Were my ethics questions really indecipherable toward the end?

Maybe what was lost in sheer length above was that I don't know what to do. I have a very much alive firefly that may not be able to lay eggs, and she is trapped in a body that can't function normally anymore. Should I just euthanize her, just because there is no precedent for any documented removal of eggs by human hands? Do I just let them persist and languish in potential agony to see if the damage repairs slowly? And what about the male? He was just unlucky and is on this voyage of the damned with no outcome riding on him like fertile eggs. Should I just euthanize him with separate considerations?

These are the things I face in the immediate future. I believe it to be inhumane to leave them in limbo for much longer. I can't do this on my own as I am now.

[slothbear]

Your story reminds me a lot of any caregiver trying to figure out how best to carry out their stewardship. You've demonstrated compassion for your charges. Even if you make mistakes, they're lucky to have you, someone who cares. Lots of creatures (including humans) never have that. But it also means that you're the only one qualified to make decisions for them (based on whatever you can learn or perceive). You can't always be right, but you can always be compassionate. Do what you feel is right for them; that's the best you can offer.

[CoolBee]

She needs to be on ground so she can lay her eggs. Some other googling suggests in a damp place near a river might be good.

Firefly - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"A few days after mating, a female lays her fertilized eggs on or just below the surface of the ground. The eggs hatch 3-4 weeks later and the larvae feed until the end of the summer. The larvae are commonly called glowworms, not to be confused with the distinct beetle family Phengodidae or fly genus Arachnocampa. Lampyrid larvae have simple eyes. The term glowworm is also used for both adults and larvae of species such as Lampyris noctiluca, the common European glowworm, in which only the non-flying adult females glow brightly and the flying males glow only very weakly and intermittently."

[GeorgeMagister]

Originally Posted by CoolBee

She needs to be on ground so she can lay her eggs. Some other googling suggests in a damp place near a river might be good.

link to article

The original problem was merely this CoolBee. I learned all that quick searching could yield on day one. Being by a river/stream isn't compulsory. I live on the French Broad River watershed, but the river itself is over a mile and a half away. So they've been doing well in this immediate area without moving water. But thank you for your well intentioned citation.

Things aren't the original simplicity, however. Now that things are a little more complicated, her not having full motor control anymore, the big issue is "is she able to lay them at all?" Unfortunately this isn't even an established field of knowledge outside of limited studies. Speaking to the other entomologist specializing in this genus, he assured me that evacuation of eggs usually happens after death if it hasn't happened already. My caveat to this is if she can't control her ovaposition willingly, then wouldn't it be disconnected from this response as well?

I'm attempting to consult an evolutionary biologist who apparently is the authority on firefly mating, a referral by the entomology doctor. If it is doubtful that she can even lay her eggs naturally, that is what I need to know before I do the obvious thing and facilitate egg laying outside on suitable ground.

How does all this have me feeling though? I feel like my bleeding heart puts living things at the mercy of my bad luck spells. It makes me question my intentions versus my abilities to follow through, and I guess what I personally have to personally be held accountable for in the long term.


And a special thanks to slothbear is in order. Your affirmational advice was well received, and I thank you for your earnest thoughts.

[GeorgeMagister]

UPDATE:

It has been over 24 hours since the male, Consortius, passed on. It's been less than 12 hours since Vitafera did as well.

At the end, it looked like Vita, passed some eggs. Even though I left her overnight outdoors the previous night she didn't do anything expect pace, once I took her back indoors she seemed weak in general. A few short hours later she was pushing her outer wings open one at a time, and use of her wings was something she didn't do, even in health. I surmised this was some sort of flexing due to trying to empty her spermathecae, and her ova. It was just intuition before it actually happened. I placed the mass in moist soil I had landscaped the previous night.

In the end she didn't pass a second group. And she expired near me, in my sleep. After I had secured the eggs, I tried to reassure her on her journey. Her egg laying was obviously a pre-death instinct. She seemed to respond to focused thought and speech. I don't know how one really imparts a message to an insect. But it's over for them now. And that's a relief to me, even if initially saddening.

The other day I had learned how to euthanize them (or tarantulas and scorpions for that matter), by extensive research that ended up in a few phone calls. You use a swab of isoflorene to put them out. Not being a veterinarian or an anesthetist I obviously can't procure it. So I hope that they didn't suffer much toward the end.