I would really appreciate some feedback on my ...unusual personal development plan.

[Sivodna]

This is the first time I've told anyone this. It's like a weight off my shoulder just typing it out!

Edit: I'm sorry the post is so long. I tried to keep it as short as possible while including the important facts.

I think one of the most important ingredients for personal success - whatever that may be to you - is PATIENCE.

I'm 23, a guy, and last year I graduated from University. After my degree, I got a boring 9-to-5 office job and I hated every second of it. It's such a tedious existence. It makes you understand the importance of living how YOU want to live, being FREE, and living as best as you truly can.

Anyway. I have some serious obstacles to overcome before I can "continue" with my life. These things weigh heavily on my mind at all times, and they stunt my personal growth. I need to eliminate them, like The Terminator on a mission to eliminate someone.
I'll tell you what they are in one second.

Currently, I live at home, and I recently was made redundant from the office-monkey job. I signed on for social welfare, felt like **** about it. But the economy is bad right now.
My goal is to become a writer and lecturer, to travel a lot, to study what I'm fascinated by, and to help students realise how incredibly interesting scholarship can be. But that's in the future.

The Obstacles in my life are these:

1. I have some gynecomastia. That's the development of glandular tissue and fat under each nipple, also known as "♥♥♥♥♥ tits" or male breast tissue. Anyone who does not have it, has no idea how incredibly painful it is psychologically. I'm not overweight at all, and neither are most people who have the condition.
This is not tolerable to me. Surgery is expensive - but it will be done.

2. I have crappy teeth, and a broken nose. My nose is half way across my face. It's denting my confidence (nothing compared to the gynecomastia though). Besides that, I'm actually reasonably attractive and a cheerful, positive person.

Ok that's the physical stuff. I want to get surgery to fix these problems. Just like a person gets braces to fix their teeth, I need to get rhinoplasty to fix my nose.
Please don't say "learn to love yourself", because you betray your ignorance and unintended hypocrisy. Just. Don't. Do. It. Trust me.

The mental or inner stuff:

3. I want to lecture and teach, so I need to know my stuff. I have a reading list of essential books I need to read. I am going to go on and do further education, but I find that university gets in the way of my education. I am free now to read as I please, and I love it.
I want to use this time to focus on self-improvement, including putting on muscle, and developing my intellect, while letting my nose heal and while wearing braces.

SO, my plan is this.

My mother is expecting me to go back to university in a few months. But the truth is, I cannot think of anything except achieving my other objectives first. The thought of another couple of years of college with ♥♥♥♥♥ tits, a broken nose, and fukked up teeth is just a nightmare to me. I HAVE to get this **** sorted. It's damaging my self-esteem enormously, fuking me up as a person, and messing up my relationships with people.

So, I want to postpone college and take a year off to get all this sorted. I want to muster the courage to admit to my mother what I want (this will be extremely hard for me, I hate to appear vulnerable or depressed). My parents are divorced. My father's an alcoholic with no goals in life, and he would think I'm a fool for spending all this money (while he pisses away his own money).
I will need to borrow some money - I can pay for most of it myself after years of working and saving, but I will need a small bit extra.

I will probably work during this time, when the bruising etc has gone down. But mostly, I want to use this time to educate myself, to improve my physical appearance, and to then go back to college and get my PHD or Masters will confidence.



So, that's it. Damn that feels good. All comments welcome. Please don't say "learn to love yourself" - I do love myself. That's why I need to fix these problems. Thank you.

[Plato]

Well, all the best with that.

I had severe acne 16-18 years old, so I have an idea how insecure you might feel. I felt much better when I got that cleared up!

Then again, I wonder if I could have gotten over it. This video is why: Sean Stephenson

[Andrew Brunelle]

I have the same male breast tissue condition as you. I've had it since I was in my teens and I'm your age now. If you feel that you need to fix the problems cosmetically, there's no one to stop you. You don't have to go back to the university if you don't want to. It's your choice. I got braces when I was 12 and it was a good decision. I recommend whatever you think will help. I have heard stories of people who get cosmetic surgeries where it changed their lives for the better, or sometimes it doesn't change much psychologically.

I'm not going to tell you to love yourself as you are, but it probably wouldn't hurt to allow you to change yourself for the better. It's not the end of the world for you to stay the way you are physically, but changing your outlook on things might help. But do whatever you believe will help and see if it does.

[Sami]

First off, congratulations for having the courage to put this out there. That's a huge step in itself.

The thought of another couple of years of college with ♥♥♥♥♥ tits, a broken nose, and fukked up teeth is just a nightmare to me. I HAVE to get this **** sorted. It's damaging my self-esteem enormously, fuking me up as a person, and messing up my relationships with people.

From what I've seen, when someone is really held back by something physical and finding it hard to get past it, plastic surgery or any physical enhancing procedure is definitely a good option. In my opinion, this is when these type of procedures really make a difference. I had a friend who had a couple of physical things that she felt were holding her back so she had them fixed. She said it was the best decision she's made. If you feel this is right for you and will make a huge difference to you, you've done your research into it and you've found practitioners you feel comfortable with then go for it.

I want to muster the courage to admit to my mother what I want (this will be extremely hard for me, I hate to appear vulnerable or depressed).

I used to think that being vulnerable is showing weakness. A divorce changed that judgement. It's actually the exact opposite. Being vulnerable is showing strength. It also brings you closer to others because masks are dropped and real feelings are shown. If your Mother loves you she will understand totally. However, she is entitled to react however she wants to the news and the reaction may not be what you want. If that's the case, let her react how she wants but understand that you don't have to take on board her reaction. If this is important to you, then have the resolve to go ahead with it despite other's reactions.

So, I want to postpone college and take a year off to get all this sorted...I want to use this time to educate myself, to improve my physical appearance, and to then go back to college and get my PHD or Masters will confidence.

It sounds like you have a plan and have thought about this in depth. After my divorce (which I didn't want), I took 2 years off to heal and headed overseas to live. I basically dropped out of me life to focus on healing. Despite the pain, it was the best couple of years of my life so far. I can highly recommend it. It's not easy but it was the best thing I could have done. I'm now back home a different but better person and living a better life.

All the best with it. I really hope it all works out for you.

[SimonaRich]

Good plan. If you really trust in your success then definitely take out a loan, sort yourself out, even go on holiday whilst you are healing and immerse yourself in learning, and after you gained more confidence you can start your carreer.

[ns123]

There are many people who choose to live on loans for a while, until they are educated and start bringing in income from their respective career. Then they pay the loan back and all is peaches and cream. It works well for them.

My husband did this, attended college on loans, living with his mom, and paid it all back within a year of graduating. So he is a success story. Good thing he and his mom were on the same page of his plan, since she was a part of it, providing free food and housing for him when he was already an adult.

Conversely, I also know many people who choose this same option, and they fail miserably, digging themselves deeper in debt, and never reaching their goals. And they sink deeper and deeper, always lamenting on how no one understands them, believes in them, etc.

What I would advise, is to have a very clear and concrete path, and be honest with yourself if you are more likely to achieve or flounder. Only you can know that answer.

If living with your mom is part of your plan - you may want to eliminate her roll from your plans and find your own housing. Or you may want to share your plans with her and see if you can convince her that not going to school is a good idea for you. But I don't recommend expecting your mother to support you in your plan (like providing you food and housing) and then complaining about it when she pulls her support because she doesn't like your plan. That would be unfair to her, and you would be setting yourself up for failure and misery.

[ang569]

By all means, if you are unhappy with your body, change it. Most Cosmetic Surgery Centers have something called "Care Card" (I think that's what it's called). It's a zero percent interest card that will pay for a cosmetic procedure and you can make payments over time. Do a search.

Also, if instant gratification is what you are looking for, think about Lumineers. Cost about the same as braces, depending on how many you get. No down time and you are in and out of the Dentist office in a snap.

I just got 6 Lumineers in the front. I Went in asking for just the two front ones and he gave me a great deal on the front six.

[xauxi99]

Marked! I will come back to check this soon!thanks a lot.:-)
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