You purpose in 20 min....alternatives...

[ragtag]

I read Steve's article on finding your purpose in 20 min, and though a bit sceptical I was all for giving it a shot. First time I tried I probably sat an hour, with not much luck. Then another time for maybe 3 hours (with a short break in the middle to avoid going mad). And another and so on....for a total of maybe 5 or so sessions.

Still no luck. Actually, that's not quite true, as some of the points I've written down feel like I'm headed in the right direction. It has something to do with helping people understand/care for each other, and to see that we are all really the same...that there is no us vs. them. Connect people in a way. Still, not quite there and I haven't shed a tear over it.

So where should I go from here. Should I just keep at it. Sit down yet another time and keep hammering away at it till I succeed, or should I look for a different route?

[Guinevere]

I hope you'll get plenty of answers; my experience is similar to yours. I wrote almost 200 answers, with almost no repetitions, and still no tears
It's almost the opposite: when I write something that resonates, I get all excited. I hope that means something other than that I'm getting farther and farther....

[David Hausladen]

I had the same problem when I tried it. With no method have I gotten to a feeling about a potential purpose that was more than just a feeling of excitement. I've never had dead certainty or an irresistable attraction to a particular purpose. I do feel strongly inclined toward my current one ("I am now working for the present and future happiness of humankind."), but I'm still uncertain.

I have a feeling I'm close, but I'm missing something that I'll eventually figure out.

[Dan.Linehan]

I had some mini-surges, but nothing definite beyond that. But in all fairness I only tried it for 40 minutes once. I'm going to try it again right now though.

[Dan.Linehan]

And... by right now I meant tomorrow... I forgot I had company coming over, and there's nothing weirder than your date trying to start crying =)

[M13]

I also tried the 20 minute technique without much luck. Similar experiences as what is posted above. It’s been about 40 days since my first effort.

Recently however, I tried an exercise I read about on Erin’s blog and it has brought more clarity. The exercise involves writing down words or phrases to define what you Need to Do, Want to Do, Can Do, and Should Do. This worked for me. I did notice a word and phrase that appeared in each category. The word was “Provide” and also a phrase repeated. The phrase was “Lean – Teach – Learn”.

I need to continue working on this since I certainly cannot provide everything for everyone, and “learn teach learn” seems incomplete. However, I am inspired by the progress and will continue until my purpose is clear.

Personally I feel like I’m in somewhat of a holding pattern until this task is accurately articulated. I feel like I should not make any major decisions. That piece is bumming me out but I still am excited about my future.

When my purpose becomes clear it will provide the context for my next goals. Knowing my purpose I cannot fail. I will have experiences that are congruent with my purpose in life and that can only bring success.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by M13

Personally I feel like I’m in somewhat of a holding pattern until this task is accurately articulated.

That sounds rather dangerous. I would advise that you try to "go with the flow" for a bit, keep yourself open to possibilities and opportunities, listen to your instincts, etc. You might stumble onto your purpose without even trying. I was surprised when I learned mine, and then I looked back on my life and thought, "Wow, wasn't it obvious?"

[Brendon Colby]

Man for a while there I really struggled with finding my purpose too! I tried the 20-minute thing with the same results as the rest of you (no tears, etc.) I think what shifted for me was to stop living in "psychological time" as Eckhart Tolle puts it. In other words, I'm learning to be happy right now, not after something else has happened "out there" including finding this specific, earth shattering purpose that makes me hop out of bed at 5am everyday and so on. Plus I wonder how specific one's purpose really needs to be? I think my purpose is to live consciously, to learn, to help out where I can and just to enjoy life! I still seem to wake up feeling pretty good, albeit at 7-8am most days.

[ragtag]

Thanks for the replies. I feel I am in much the same situation as M13. A bit on hold till I figure this out, which is actually very frustrating. I am working on a project, but my heart is not fully in it....because I don't know if it is what I should be doing. I guess I'll just have to keep looking till I nail this one.

Brendon: Thanks for the pointer. Just bought "The Power of Now" of the iTunes music store as an audiobook. Going to listen to it tomorrow.

[Brendon Colby]

Originally Posted by ragtag

Brendon: Thanks for the pointer. Just bought "The Power of Now" of the iTunes music store as an audiobook. Going to listen to it tomorrow.

Hey great! I've had a few nagging questions for a while - stuff that's bothered me for years. I think I've been intending on having those questions answered for a while.

Lately, I've started seeing The Power of Now everywhere. One of Steve's articles, his recommended reading list, every major book seller in the area, etc. Then I went to this local used book store and they had a whole stack of them for $5 each! It even took me a couple times going there before I broke down and bought it.

I'm a little over half way through it and I've found it to be one of the best books I've read in years. It seems to tie together a lot of other stuff I've read and listened to over the years. I can't believe how many seemingly random questions have been answered by this book. I hope it helps you!

[dorothy hanna]

Hi All,
I kind of had the same problem, to the point to where I was writing things like, to be a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker.
But, I persisted. I even put down things that I really would have thought would evoke some type of emotion, since I have very strongly held convictions in these areas, but...Nothing. I felt dry, inside. All the way deep in my soul. Apparently, these things are things that I have strongly held convictions are just that, but they are not my purpose in life.
I kept coming back to the task, and had some areas that had small emotional tugs, but nothing else, and then I dared to write it. That thing that, in so many ways, could seemingly not be it. It's weird to think it, much less write it down, but I wrote it, and felt a swift welling up deep out of my soul. Much emotion, mixed with a feeling of fright. It came up, and gushed out from inside me, and into the air. A great heave of emotion, that I did not know was there, and did not anticipate.
It lasted only about 10 seconds. And then it disapated, followed by a wonderful feeling of relief.
Keep going. Keep at it. It's there.

[JeffS]

Wow, that's fanastic Dorothy.

I'm welling up a bit just reading about your experience! If your purpose has the power to draw second-hand tears, that's quite something.

[Cathy]

I discovered Steve Pavlina's website while taking a visionary leadership class. For one assignment I was exploring my values, purpose, vision (and Steve Pavlina has some excellent resources for this). My teacher had us approach finding our life purpose a bit differently. Since you are having difficulty, perhaps this method will help. I most certainly didn't find it in 20 minutes. The class lasted 16 weeks and it took me about 10-12 weeks to discover my purpose.

We started by focusing on our core values (max of 5). If you are living congruently, your values will form the basis/foundation for your life purpose. My teacher had us frame our purpose statement in the following way: The purpose of my life is to (something that resonates with my values) so that (something that provides value to others).

I blogged about this process fairly extensively. One post about mid way through is here.

My teacher stressed the importance of leaving your purpose open enough that you could achieve it through a variety of means. I found that it was important to keep asking myself, "how else might I achieve this purpose?"

[ahimel]

Originally Posted by Guinevere

It's almost the opposite: when I write something that resonates, I get all excited. I hope that means something other than that I'm getting farther and farther....

I don't think you're supposed to cry because you're sad. I think you're supposed to cry because you're so excited, and because the thing you just wrote down is so wonderful that you never dared to hope that it might be destined for you.

Of course, I've never had the courage to try this experiement, so maybe you should ignore my input.

But I'd take the excitement as a sign of something to follow up on.

[David Hausladen]

It's important not to fall into the trap of thinking that there is one specific purpose for which your life was created (by God and/or yourself), and that's the only "right answer" to the question of purpose. Like everything else in your life, your purpose is a choice. The only way in which there are "right answers" to the question of purpose is the sense in which your actions, thoughts, and words are together aligned with certain purposes.

For example, if your choices have made you an antisocial person, choosing a purpose that is mostly social is not a "wrong answer" but is incongruent with your previous choices so that it will take time and effort to bring your purpose and choices into congruence again.

So in looking for a purpose, you might look at the subconscious purpose in which your choices are already reflected. But you could also choose something completely different and change your future choices to match.

[ragtag]

Just a little update. I've listened to about half of "The Power of Now", and it's not for me.

Cathy: Thanks for the suggestions. I'll look into those.

At the moment I feel like I'm at crossroads. I've worked in comics and animation for the past 10 years, and achieved more or less all I hoped for when I began. New projects don't excite me like they used to. I want something I feel has deeper meaning and greater value. Entertaining people is fine, but it's not really satisfying my needs. The problem is that I've been very focused for a long time on graphics work (comics, animation and games), and it's hard for me to look outside that field. I'm open for anything, but really don't know in which directin to head.

Hehe....guess I should just take a vacation somewhere warm where I can lie on a beach and think all day for a couple of weeks.

[Cathy]

Ragtag

One other way that I have enjoyed approaching the life purpose question is to use the hedgehog (Jim Collins) approach. What are you excellent at (i.e. what can you be best at in the world or your field)? What are you passionate about? What drives your economic engine (i.e. what is financially viable)?
Your purpose (or at least a great career path) will lie at the intersection of these three things.

I can definitely relate to your quandry. In my own career, I'm excellent at my work & it's financially viable but I've somewhat lost my passion for my work in the every day. I went and picked up my MBA in part because I was looking for new ways to achieve my purpose or to at least renew my passion. I think it's important to explore the question even if professionally you decide to remain in the same career. Hope you find time for that vacation to relax and reflect.

[Guinevere]

Oh, I agree. It's just that although I cry at most anything sad (I don't even watch the news or read the newspapers anymore, or watch things like CSI), I very, very, very rarely cry from joy. If something good happens, I'll probably laugh, giggle and be generally annoying
I just hope that I'll get on with the exercise to the point I'll be clapping, jumping and laughing and it will have the same value as tears.
Thanks for your concern, though

[Guinevere]

Originally Posted by David Hausladen

It's important not to fall into the trap of thinking that there is one specific purpose for which your life was created (by God and/or yourself), and that's the only "right answer" to the question of purpose. Like everything else in your life, your purpose is a choice. The only way in which there are "right answers" to the question of purpose is the sense in which your actions, thoughts, and words are together aligned with certain purposes.

That resonates with me and I certainly hope you are right, because I'm still working on finding my purpose, but I can't seem to cut a part of it without feeling I'm losing something really important. If I leave out the "learn" part, the "love" does not seem to cover it all; if leave out the "enjoy" part, the "contribute" does not make me completely happy. I guess mine will be a multipurpose

[Guinevere]

but I was on my "life purpose quest" and read that it can help to think about your life roles and insterests, too. It can't hurt...

Also, from some of Cheryl Richardson books (this is just a compilation from things I remember):
Who is someone that you admire or who’s life do you want to have?
Name three movies that stand out as your favorite.
If you could only have one section in the bookstore what would it be?
When you were a child, what did you always want to be when you grew up? Also, if you had a million dollars in the bank, what would you do for a job? And, if you knew you could not fail at anything you tried, what would you do?
Do you see any themes or trends in your answers to the above?