Public Disservice Announcement

[Plato]

Ok, it’s time to reveal publically (ed: no.1 is that I can't spell publicly. Shame) what a silly sausage I’ve been and continue to be. Warning: some if this may be disturbing.

When I was 7 years old I was involved in a semi-violent game with about 20 or 30 other kids at school. During the game I managed to twist and sprain my ankle. For some reason I told the teachers that another boy had done it to me. I mean… what the hell man? Why did I do that? All I know is I repeated a similar thing aged 11. I don't know why.

First kiss? Aged 18. I made up for the early lack by being a grand master poooaaahh in the next year. It left me hollow and sad inside.

As a teenager I succeeding in getting my own penis in my mouth. It hurt my back but I didn’t let that stop me.

I once stole a bracelet thing from a Next store, just to find out how difficult shop lifting is. The answer? Not very, at least for small items.

Passed my driving test 3rd time around.

I have a hairy bottom.

For years I had a weird speech impedement, where I would say “Hi” but because I was nervous it inflected up at the end making it sound like a question. It sounded like I was saying “Y’alright?” in a weird way. Eventually, people picked up on this defect and got amusement from chanting “Y’alright Fraser” at me. It eventually became a catch phrase among my group of friends.

I know more about the treatment of acne than any normal person should. Plagued with it for some time, I totalled over 2000 posts on the acne. org forums. Maybe I should make use of this knowledge? Hmmm. Oh, that's not a confession. Just a random thought.

I’ve never really been in a proper fight, except for bopping somebody in a club. However, aged 12 I was hustled into an “arranged fight” with a guy called Mark Day who I shared some ridiculous grudge with. The whole thing was a farce, nobody got hurt and the forty or so spectators got their entertainment.

I gave Hell to some poor people who shared my bus back and to from school. I thought I was so ****ing clever with my cutting remarks. Such a big guy.

I have at least once seriously considered and PLANNED killing my parents (AND brother) for inheritance.

So now you know. Most of my shame ironically results from warped attempts to be loved.

[ballhit2]

If you didn't spend so much time looking at your ass, maybe your parents would be dead by now.

[Brutha]

Now you told us about your old self, what's your new self like?
What are your role models?
What is your purpose?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Now you told us about your old self, what's your new self like?
What are your role models?
What is your purpose?

Haven't found an elegant way of saying it yet. I have a strong sense of what I should do though.

I've been very inspired by transgressional literature recently. By choosing an extreme one can become a very visible and consciousness raising image of individuality and authenticity. A bit like Steve really.

I'm service oriented, but not bound by rules. My message is that peace and joyful self expression are the hightest ideals.

Actually, I think it's about finding peace and harmony in chaos.

[Brutha]

And who's a role model besides Steve?

Role models are important if you want to change your own moral habits.
They give you the moral norms you desire to have at the moment. And no, you won't get moral habits from ideas. You need people.
Morals are a group thing and humans learn them from other humans.

Actually, I think it's about finding peace and harmony in chaos.

It's about yourself?

[tintin]

hey plato you feeling any better?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Brutha

And who's a role model besides Steve?

Role models are important if you want to change your own moral habits.
They give you the moral norms you desire to have at the moment. And no, you won't get moral habits from ideas. You need people.
Morals are a group thing and humans learn them from other humans.

I don't know who my role models are. There are loads of people (and probably fictional characters too) who have qualities I admire, but nobody who I could hold up as being the complete image of what I aspire to.

How would you go about finding the best role models?

It's about yourself?

No. I live in a very affluent part of the world, and yet people are still suffering. Tyring to control things where control isn't possible. My motivation is directed to helping people (including myself) embrace the chaotic and unpredictable nature of reality.

[ArthurHung]

Originally Posted by Plato

No. I live in a very affluent part of the world, and yet people are still suffering. Tyring to control things where control isn't possible. My motivation is directed to helping people (including myself) embrace the chaotic and unpredictable nature of reality.

Why the need for control, at all? No one is really suffering but learning lessons. It's always their choice to choose a better path. You never can really help someone else.

It's like a mother bird and a father bird looking after a young one that has not flown yet. The young bird does not even know it has wings. Yet, the mother flies to a nearby branch, encouraging the young one to come along with her. The father may push the bird further out of the nest if necessary. But it's not until the bird jumps of the nest himself does it know it has wings.

Learn to be more grateful and loving towards yourself, as you are. Let go more often, and embrace joy and passion more for yourself. When you do that, helping others will be a natural thing. It'll just come out of you. Controlling others... or yourself, is not necessary to help others.

[Brutha]

How would you go about finding the best role models? [...] My motivation is directed to helping people (including myself) embrace the chaotic and unpredictable nature of reality.

The area in which you are interested seems to literature. Are there authors that do help people in your mind to embrace the unpredictable nature of reality?
Can you find out more about one of those authors and whether he could be a good role model for yourself?

What do you even mean with embracing unpredictablity?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Brutha

The area in which you are interested seems to literature. Are there authors that do help people in your mind to embrace the unpredictable nature of reality?
Can you find out more about one of those authors and whether he could be a good role model for yourself?

Tim Ferriss comes to mind.

What do you even mean with embracing unpredictablity?

I mean to stop clinging to security in temporary things. It's a deep sense that no matter what happens, you can handle it.

[floslib]

Originally Posted by Plato

I don't know who my role models are. There are loads of people (and probably fictional characters too) who have qualities I admire, but nobody who I could hold up as being the complete image of what I aspire to.

How would you go about finding the best role models?

Role models don't have to have all the qualities you're looking for. As long as they have one, they can be a role model for that quality, and you can look to other people to model other qualities you hope to have. So, my answer would be to look to the people who have at least one quality you like, and use that person as a role model for that quality. You'll likely have a ton of different role models if you use this approach, but as long as it's manageable for you, then it should work fine. Just remember why you chose each person, so you remember which quality you really want to work on from each.

[Brutha]

Role models don't have to have all the qualities you're looking for. As long as they have one, they can be a role model for that quality, and you can look to other people to model other qualities you hope to have.

If it's about copying qualities you would be right.
If you however want to build a moral sense you need clear expectations.
Asking "What would Tim Ferriss do in this situation?" when it comes to decisions that might be morally challenging gives you a reference point outside yourself.

Without outside reference points people morally corrupt because the basic self interest takes over and controls actions as people bend their beliefs to justify their actions.

If you want to live up to some role that process doesn't happen. A 10,000 years ago it was important that people lived up to the role model that the chief of the tribe provided instead of acting completely self interested.
That's how our morality is hard wired.

Another part of how morality works is empathy with is also all about having other people as external reference points.

[ArthurHung]

Surely there are people around you locally who you feel have a different vibe to them. A more joyous, yet able energy.

Do some favors for them, ask them if you can treat them for coffee, join the clubs they go to.

Simply soak in their energy. It doesn't matter what you guys are talking about. After a few days, or weeks of this depending on how open you are, you will notice that you are more perceptive about the qualities you admire about yourself. It's more a process about appreciating yourself. This sense of being, that "no matter what happens, you can handle it.", comes from continually seeing more and more the beauty of yourself, and everything around you.

It's not a logical thing. Don't treat it as such. It's a transformational revolution of the soul.

[James81]

For what it's worth, you are one of my favorite people here.

[Aleksander Krstic]

Originally Posted by Plato

Ok, it’s time to reveal publically (ed: no.1 is that I can't spell publicly. Shame) what a silly sausage I’ve been and continue to be. Warning: some if this may be disturbing...

It's very nice you brought this up.

[Plato]

Thanks for the insight Brutha...

I've thought more about my role models, and I know who they are. Tim Ferriss is a minor one, to be honest.

They are

Hypnotica and Steve. Piccus
The Joker from Batman
Tyler Durden (both of them)
Steve Pavlina
Byron Katie

The common thread is the total absense of shame, and commitment to freedom: for ALL of us.

But more than anyone else I am my own role model. I constantly surprise myself with my own brilliance. When I'm present I do just *do things* and I don't know what it's going to be until it happens. When I look in the mirror I like what I see.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by ArthurHung

Why the need for control, at all?

That's my point, dude.

Originally Posted by James81

For what it's worth, you are one of my favorite people here.

A man with taste.

I've noticed you have a certain pinash too. I like that.

Originally Posted by Aleksander Krstic

It's very nice you brought this up.

Hey, no worries man. I hope it inspires in its own warped way

[Brutha]

When I look in the mirror I like what I see.

The starting post gave the impression that was different.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Brutha

The starting post gave the impression that was different.

Oh right. I'm just doing the "Share your shame" thing. All skeletons must be cast out of the closet.

The person who did those things was really different from me. I have changed massively in the past 6 months.

[Brutha]

I have changed massively in the past 6 months.

How do you know?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Brutha

How do you know?

Don't read this if you don't want to. Once I started writing it all just came out.

Happy basically all the time. Was not before.

Massively expanded comfort zone socially. Mostly because I spent 5 weeks representing children's charities door-to-door. When you talk to about 500 strangers a week it really brings you out of yourself. Working in a team of fun people was great. Made some great friends from that and learned a lot about emotional management. Success in door-to-door sales is mostly about staying energetic, fresh and friendly, which is a challenge since most people aren't interested. You build up a massive tolerance for rejection.

I've finally got over my desire for meaningless sex. Through various encounters I've finally come to term with the fact I want nothing less than loving relationships. I don't have a girlfriend I love at the moment, but I've got a much clearer idea of what I want. That's half the battle. Now I'm just intending.

I haven't drunk alcohol in ... longer than I can remember. My diet is well balanced, though could be better still I think. My body is fit and healthy. I've found exercise patterns that really work for me. Lots of cardio and yoga, small amount of weights. Feeling strong and balanced.

I don't feel pressure to impress people, which allows me to really be myself. I'm excited a lot of the time. Especially about my personal development ideas. I'm getting an increasingly positive response on these forums to my ideas, which I take to be indicative of that. Something has *clicked* inside me. I've grasped something solid at last after years of clawing around in the dark.

I know who I am and what I'm about. I can't explain it in words very well but I know what I'm trying to achieve for myself and impart to others. This sense of purpose is helping me slowly build practical action steps towards a fulfilling career. This is pleasing since I threw caution to the wind in January by quitting university.

I'm becoming more and more productive. I get more out of every day. I break my comfort zone in some way every day. Today I did the "football pitch walk" NLP technique which is a massive mental challenge. It blows apart your mental circuitry and increases flexibility and awareness. I also discovered some really cool ways to become present, involving eye-accessing cues and energy.

I've discovered a passion for developing all parts of my brain through brain training exercises. I've learned to "switch on" all the parts of my brain for wonderful alertness.

I've got a system for neutralising negative chit chat in my head. I'm basically full of positivity thanks to The Work.

I've got a puppy who's very loving, cute and energetic. Training him has led me to another role model actually: Cesar Milan "The Dog Whisperer". This guy is phenomenal. I'm learning a lot from spending time with my little doggy. He's a good energy. Powerful, dynamic, curious.

Edit: The main thing is I've found clarity. I have a clear path of tangible personal growth to engage in. I have the tools, I have the will, and I'm vey excited!

[ArthurHung]

Originally Posted by Plato

Edit: The main thing is I've found clarity. I have a clear path of tangible personal growth to engage in. I have the tools, I have the will, and I'm vey excited!

I'm intrigued by this. It sounds like you have a lot of worthwhile goals available which you are currently tending to, and that's a wonderful thing.

I'm wondering if you know you're main talent and the medium for expressing that talent as well.

[Andrew Gubb]

The title of this thread was the best part