Pattern when experimenting with polarity

[RohanMitchell]

I've had an interesting experience when experimenting with polarity, and I'm curious if anyone else has had the same experience. It is, in short, is about having a peak experience when beginning an experiment with a polarity, and then struggling to regain that experience.

Near the end of last year I did a 30 day trial on using fear polarity, and I've recently begun experimenting with love polarity. With both of these experiments, near the beginning I had a peak experience where I got into the mindset of the polarity very strongly.

With fear polarity I felt like I had grasped the idea of my own mortality and took charge of the situation to ensure I squeezed the most enjoyment out of life. I stopped concerning myself with my obligations to other people and got very strongly into my own desires. I felt very powerful and very good emotionally.

I had an analogous experience recently when experimenting with love polarity. I was listening to "The True Nature of Reality" podcast and thinking about the ideas of subjective reality and fundamental safety. I Got it, and felt safe. Because I felt safe myself, I didn't need to worry about myself and my attention went to what I could give to others. I felt very creative and loving, and as with fear polarity (but in a completely different way), I felt very good emotionally.

Each of these peak experiences lasted for roughly a few hours. Afterward, I had difficulty getting back into the same mindset. When I consider why, I would guess that in each case I had gathered some favourable set of conditions to get into the mindset, but afterwards my craving to repeat the experience got in the way.

Has anyone experienced a similar pattern? Any ideas about what's going on under the surface, or do you have any guidance for working through it?

Thanks!
Rohan