Accepting vs Improving

[Stealth]

I posted something in the social section: Masculine vs Feminine man and it got me thinking. While I will post an extensive reply to that thread later, it got me thinking about a paradox that has bugged me a little bit.

Sometimes I can be egoic, or more masculine, or effeminate, or way too serious, or try hard, or have body features taht I don't like, or this or that, it doesn't really matter, I'm just putting examples here... but a lot of buddhist thought and self help thought talk about acceptance, and not resisting what is. Sometimes I accept things as they are, but then I start to feel apathetic to things too and I lose my motivation. When I decide I'm going to work on my goals and create the future I envision, I'm not as accepting of my present circumstance. Is there a balance to this? or is one way better than the other?

[Ajit Odedra]

Self-Acceptance vs. Personal Growth

[SimonaRich]

What you resist always persits so the more resistant you are towards what you don't like, the more things of the same nature will manifest into your reality.

[ns123]

I think acceptance is different from resignation. It's not that you are giving up. It's that you are letting go of negative judgment.

Here's an example that I use to help me clarify things to myself:

One of my brothers lives a life that I don't necessarily approve of. He makes choices that are unproductive to what he wants in life, but yet, he does not want help to change that, nor will he commit to changing himself. How I practice acceptance is, I stop the negativity toward him. When we interact, I tell him that I love him, I believe in him, and that I believe that he has the power to get everything he ever wants. Then I refuse to join his pity party. I accept him for who he is, a disempowered person, for right now. This may result in me not spending a lot of time with him, since his negativity drags me down, but I don't hate him for it, nor am I negative or angry at him. I just accept him as he is, am ready when he needs support (but not enabling).

Acceptance to me is not really giving up or resignation. It's realizing that you don't control others, some times you don't control some things. But you control yourself and your response. And you can choose to respond or choose to recognize what IS. Recognizing What Is does not mean it will always be that way though. It can change. And lending your support when that change happens - and also believing in the hope (faith) that it can change.

I don't accept everything in my life though, but those things I don't accept have more to do with me and not other people. Such as, I don't accept that sometimes I lash out at those I love when I am hurt. I don't accept that sometimes I don't respond with love when my patience wears thin with my child. I don't accept that there are things broken in my home that I try to avoid and sweep under the rug. I don't accept powerlessness within myself, ever. But I do accept that I have the 100% power to change all that, by living it and deciding to every day.

I hope that helps explain acceptance.

[ProjectX]

You can accept and still take Right Action.