Life Control/Success & Happiness Questions

[Sarek]

I feel like a failure.
This guy's thread is about not succeeding and reasons.

My questions are:

How do you control your life even through "life changing" circumstances?

In his situation how would he/you get an understanding or motivation to do well again?

How would you *fix* depression?
What is the purpose of depression?
What keeps *you* focused through depression?
Does "Life Purpose" affect you?
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I've had depression, problems etc. memory inefficiencies, focusing problems and the like. SO I am very interested in this area. Thank you

[WordKeeper]

I'm wondering if your choice of words are leading you in the right direction?

"control" your life
"fix" depression

I have suffered with clinical depression and debilitating anxiety. As a result I chose to search for the origins of both and find healing techniques that worked for me.

The person whose post you linked seems clear about the source of her/his depression and academic and social struggle. They write that it began with their parents' divorce and that they have a large sense of who they are grounded in family. As this person works through healing perhaps they will seek a substitute family so that their need is once again fulfilled.

[David Cain]

Well, you can't really control life, you can only control your response to it. IMO, there are smart and not-so-smart ways of dealing with life and what it brings you.

Smart ways of dealing with life is what fascinates me; that's what my whole blog is about. Here is an example: How to Keep Bad Moods From Taking you Over

All you can really do in life is just recognize where you are, accept it, pick the smartest action you can think of, and do it. This is all you need to do in life. You can deal with any situation that way.

[Jon Alan]

That is an interesting theory. I have seen people try it. It's kind of like trying to hold you breath for a long period of time. Eventually you will have the breath again and when you do it will be more intense. The best thing to do with negative emotions is to redirect them. Depression is anger turned inwards. Therefore the best thing to do is get outside of yourself. Find someone worse off than you and do something to help them. That gives the energy somewhere else to flow instead of inwards. Anger or depression, neither of them are bad. No emotions are bad. They are a signal that something needs to change. Try doing something which makes a contribution to someone who is worse off. That will make a ton of difference.

[SimonaRich]

You can make sure that your life is always successful by only introducing positive images/thoughts in your mind. This way no negative manifestations will come into your reality.

[Andrew Gubb]

I can't speak for everyone, but I became depressed when I felt like I had to give up my purpose for security, and because I was in a poor emotional environment at home. My parents are way beyond depressed - they've filled themselves with so much fear energy they're capable of using it to mimic a happy life.

Depression is better than pretending you're happy when you're not. It's fine to be sad. Sadness continues in a cycle when you refuse to accept it and deal with the cause of which it is the symptom, though. It's like a repeating dream: your subconscious is bringing it up again and again, saying, "Look! You still haven't done what needed to be done!"

If you're chronically sad then you are chronically in a situation that is wrong for you. No amount of drugs will help. It won't be easy, but you need to take responsibility of your life. Ask for help, if you can. But hold onto your self-respect too.