Subjective reality merges lightworker/darkworker?

[Christina1965]

Hi,
I've been reading here about this topic for hours (and also Steve's posts), and also quick checked the book but I'm still really puzzled:
If we are all "one" if we align with the idea of subjective reality, how can being a darkworker be separated from being a lightworker?

To me subjective reality, which I find more and more to be true- at least to me, implies things like this; if I like a man and he isn't interested in me, what does that show me about myself? Since I haven't had a proper relationship for very long time (and want it) I have thought a lot about this and my current idea is that I project (my) power onto men, both metaphorically and practically (like giving in to his will to much), and that when I acknowledge my own power whitin things will start to happen... Blurry, but I hope you get the idea: The issue (can't find a better word in English) exists both outside of me and inside, they are just the opposite sides of the coin.

And then my question arise: If a darkworker works for herself, but know that "self" is bigger than the avatar (body/mind), since I'm using the ideas of subjective reality here, to me there is no difference from a lightworker.

I'm asking partly because I just want to know, and partly because a lot of the things written about darkworkers seems really good to me, like honor, not caring of what other people think of you (only following your own values), wanting power (why shouldn't I- Steve said I should) and so on. But I want to give value to other people, which I guess defines me as a lightworker.

Of course I could just let this be (well if I tried hard anyway) but I want to increase the energy in my intentions, and agree with Steve's argument for choosing the direction of the energy. And I want more power.

Thanks for reading all this, and please give comments to clarify this for me!

[wolfgang]

I may not clarify anything in what I'll write because I took lw/dw differently.

I see everybody as a darkworker. The thing that is different is the sense of self. A "lightworker" is really just a darkworker that has a sense of self that encompasses, say, the world. It's a service to a self with the self being expanded to include yourself and others. Or one can be a darkworker at only the level of the personal self.

In all cases, I see a service to a self.

Because, in Steve's ideas the lightworker that forgets to give to him/herself has to apply some attention to the personal self or risk being in the lightworker's syndrome. And what is attention to the personal self? darkworking. Or darkworking to a version of self that includes your personal self and many others (expanded sense of self darkworking).

So there you have my confusion for you instead of clarifying what Steve's ideas are because I didn't see it his way. To me, it's all darkworking at different expanded/contracted sense of a self.