am i really good enough ...

[mydau]

i have somehow fallen into a pattern of thinking which i would like to overcome now...

i always feel as if i dont deserve what i get or have..
for e.g ... i am blessed with good beauty, good level of intelligence, good heart to be compasionate and kind, honesty, keen interest to serve and grow etc (i can think of these as i write, but also i tend to think if others will think i am blowing my own trumpet) however if somebody says to me
anything like the stmts below ...
'you look very beautiful' or 'i think this dress will look very good on you'
'i think u are an asset to the team etc'

i immeditely get embarrased and feel as if they are just being good and nice to say that ... but actually i am not a true derserving person for that recognition....

also if i see a nice dress/bag/shoe or whatever that i like .. i tend to check the price first and whatever it be i would not buy it coz the first question that comes to my mind is ' am i worthy of it or do i deserve this' ...

after some time i feel very bad that i feel i am non-worthy
i also feel sad sometimes when my efforts or thoughts or actions just go unnoticed ... or i leave behind something that i loved to buy

overall itseems as if i have a big trouble coz one part of me feels and thinks about the good things in me ...
one part of me feels nice when recognised .. but is quiet in doubt to accept
it ...
while another part also feels upset about times when my efforts go unnoticed ..

i find it very interesting to see some people who are able to appreciate themselves and accept themsleves very well ...

although appreciation from outside ... is encouraging but actually i think its important for me to see the good in myself first and accept it as it is ... but i have not been successful in doing that ..

i want to stop asking the question to me always ' do i derserve this'

[lost1]

i used to feel that way too about a years ago.
i think that the most common reason that people don't have enough confidence in themselves is because they often compare themselves to others.
if you are thinking that way, you will never be satisfied of yourself, because, no matter how good are we, there will always be someone better than us. and
just be yourself and don't think about what other says (but maybe sometimes it's necessary to take some advice from others people too). you really deserve what you can get.

[David Cain]

I know that feeling: you can see the beauty and potential in yourself but you still don't quite feel worthy. It's a weird paradox. I spent years in that state. I knew I had talents but I couldn't really be happy with myself.

After a long depression I discovered what I was doing wrong. I didn't really know how to love myself. Love is all about what you do, not what you think you are. I recently wrote an article about exactly that: why it seems so hard to feel good enough. The solution is actually quite simple. Take a look, I think you'll gain something from it: The one ingredient necessary for accepting yourself

As I said, I know the feeling. I wish I could give you a hug. But like you said, appreciation from outside is nice but it isn't enough.

[mydau]

thanks to you ... for responding in a encouraging way ... to know that there are others who have been through this state and have managed to come out is very postive ...

[fresco]

I think worth as a concept is really over-rated, to be honest!

I think we all, as human beings, have an inherent amount of worth that doesn't need to be proved or quantified, to ourselves or to anyone else.

When you see sick and starving children in Africa on a tv commercial with the voiceover asking for donations, do you think to yourself, 'Well, are these kids good kids? If I give them money, will they prove themselves worth of it and grow up to be productive members of society? I'm not going to donate if they don't prove to me that they are respectful to their elders, and do their fair share of work around the village. Are they worthy of my help?' Of course not. You see a child lacking the essentials of life and your desire is to help them.

It's an old cliche, but you will always find someone better than you and you will always find someone worse than you. If you constantly compare yourself to your betters, what are you actually achieving by that? You're giving yourself a twisted view of your place in the world. A more realistic assessment is to say, 'Okay, I'm not the best at that, but I'm also not the worst.'

If someone gives you a compliment, they are not saying that you are the best at that, they are simply acknowledging that you are good at it. Acknowledge the compliment with a thank you, allow yourself a moment or two's pleasure at the compliment, then get on with what you're doing. A compliment is not an order to prove yourself worthy of it. It's a gift, not a contract.

[Jarrod]

Along with with what Fresco said I will add.

Focus on what you 'want', rather than all that maybe's of what could be the case (see how vague it is).

There is no point considering if you are 'worthy' of something because you will never get to an answer. How do you measure 'worthiness'? Dollars, average number of smiles caused solely through your own doing per day? Don't bother trying to guess this. You will just make yourself feel bad because you can never say 'yes I am worthy' simply because it is not a valid question.

When thoughts and emotions arise about 'worthiness' see them, appreciate that they are pointless and let them go.

Go for it!

[Parthon]

I'd like to start of saying: Yes! A million times Yes! You are definately good enough!

Self-worth is a pickle of a conundrum. The only wat to gain self-worth is to discover the world in yourself, your inherent awesomeness. But if you don't have self-worth to begin with, you don't even think to look in order to discover it.

All I can say is that your are definately worthy. You are who you are in this moment, and you can't change that. Perhaps you will be different in 5 or 10 years, but that's not who you are now. Who you are now is who you are now, and that person is whole, complete and perfect just the way they are, and just the way they aren't. If you can't be different right now to how you actually are, then the only conclusion is that you currently are how you must be, and that itself is perfection. Perfection doesn't mean having no flaws, far from it. It means that flaws and strengths together, what makes you as you are, is just fine as it is, right now.

That's the essense of self-acceptance, which leads to self-worth and follows into seeing the worth in the world and living a wonderful life. You are who you are, and that's that. Full stop.

[rose A]

When someone pays you a compliment, whether its on your beauty or what you have done or an article of clothing that would look good on you. It is their opinion of your ego that they are complimenting. Your ego will then take that compliment and try to use that compliment to build itself up.

That same person, on another day, could turn to you and say that you look a bit fat today or scroungie that day, or that doesn't look good on you, or your performance on a certain task wasn't up to par. Now what does your ego do with those comments? Makes you feel bad about yourself, your possessions or your performance.

Don't take anything personal.

I can't help you out on you feeling despair over not buying a purse that you found to your liking, and maybe already have 27 of them in your closet, because i'm not materialistic.