|Character & Contribution Values, integrity, finding your purpose, living your purpose, serving the greater good, making a difference, changing the world, charity, polarity, lightworkers, darkworkers|
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|03-03-2009, 01:57 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2008
A 'good' job/advanced degree: What you're "supposed to do" vs. "what you want to do"
Interesting how sometimes inertia/what "you're supposed to do, because that's just what everyone does" is often at odds with logic or what you want to do.
My situation: 27, getting married this summer, wife to be is 24 still an undergraduate student so we really have only one proper steady income. I'm in a junior/assistant level position. Also I am an entrepreneur, although recently I haven't been putting much "action" (as my current focus is being more social, and creating and developing relationships.) It's an enterprise/business I am able to develop with relatively low risk as it doesn't intefere with my daytime job.
I don't have any loans owed, my credit cards will be paid off before the summer, which means except the car I have that's financed, I'll be debt free in a few months.
Option A ("Why don't you get a masters, get a better job?") This is 100% career/office oriented pretty much.
Note: Many of these people for the past 3 years have been telling me to buy a house, and are still saying "owning is better than renting" even though they know I am not in a situation with 2 incomes.
Advantages (both mine and what 'people at work and friends that 'mean well'' tell me): status, bigger office with a better window, Intellectual curiosity is satisfied.
Disadvantages: Debt - graduate school has to be paid for, more hours in the office - unpaid overtime is now EXPECTED, is roi on a masters really THAT much? I don't know, higher tax bracket.
in terms of RSD/what we're about the advice is akin to going after security. Getting domesticated in spirit, and doing what you're supposed to. Key value here is "security" and "fitting in".
Option B - Take the same 3-4 years it'd take to get a masters and work on developing my business, and developing other areas of my life.
Advantages: Multiple income streams/passive income, adventure, opportunity to take legal tax breaks, no debt from masters, eventually more options with my life, peace of mind (I can handle periods of unemployment - in fact I can even decide to work part-time), wife to be can stay home if she chooses to, develop into a leader of men,
Disadvantages: People will keep asking "what are you doing in such a junior position"?, I probably "lose" 2-3 years of my life as getting serious with business means a focused short burst of effort (though it'd be the same thing in option A with graduate school), peers are "moving on" with nice lawyer, doctor, MBA, etc jobs and driving BMWs while I'm "in that junior position" and stuck in an apartment, etc.
Also would be a massive dissapointment to my dad, plus a few people at work who are eager for me to "get a masters".
Key value here is "freedom" and "adventure".....
Mind you I AM interested in my field - international affairs/culture. I do dread the prospect of being on call 24/7 or Annual Performance Reviews until age 65though.
Anyone been in similar situations? Interesting to see how you dealt with it. This Masters Degree (in a field I'm interested in) vs. Entrepreneural/Free spirit is a lot right now.
I see similar pressure in society from statements like "just be yourself, be a nice guy", "dating the right 'type'", "this is a buyers market", "INVEST!" etc etc.
Anyone been in a similar situation, where to the outside world/peers for a while it seemed you were bumming off or "falling behind" and then suddely in 5 years, you're pretty happy and doing pretty well?
|03-03-2009, 02:16 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2008
I agree that the society pressure is enough to make most give up on your entrepreneur dreams. If it is possible, you can try to tackle both at the same time and doing your business as a sideline until it really flourish to be able to give you decent income. I believe that will be the most ideal choice.
Personal Development Blogger
|03-03-2009, 02:45 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2008
|03-03-2009, 03:49 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2008
Unless you enjoy having a full load like that (i.e job, school, business), I think that if you really want to develop your business, that's what you should do. Don't get a higher degree just because it's what other people want. Also if your really in tune with yourself and you're happy and focused on providing value, I don't think the debt will matter that much. Figure out your priorities and what you really want, and then do it!
|03-03-2009, 07:45 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: London, United Kingdom
I was never affected by the pressure of society and I always did what I wanted to do. That made me a successful person, I created and sold several businesses up untill the age of 20. (I am 22 now).
I loved creating and selling businesses but then I got involved in personal development (meditation, universal laws, productivity aspects).
So I went into personal development field personally advising people and now I am feeling that I have less and less time left because I get more and more clients.
So now I am moving into online business (personal development website which I set up around two months ago) and I am loving every minute of that.
I do not coach new clients anymore, just some regular clients. But as soon as I fully develop my website and it generates enough income, I will not coach personally anyone. That will free me up completely to travel much more frequently than I can now.
When society's pressure does not affect you, you can clearly see what you really want to do rather than what your parents or colleages would like to see you doing.
I never ask anyone's opinion. Never. I just do what I feel is right for me and it always works out. Others cannot know what is really best for you, even if they have known you for a long time.
|03-05-2009, 11:41 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2007
Hi. I feel like I am in a similar position with you. I aspire to be a film maker (I am a very visual person with a vivid imagination), but there other concerns for me as well as society's expectations. Sometimes I feel torn as to do filming or get a degree in finance/business.
I feel following the path I want is unpredictable and sometimes scary. But I feel deep inside that it is the most rewarding and If I become successful, well there is a lot money in it plus the excitement. On the other hand if I go the more safer route and study finance, get a degree and then masters. I know what to expect from this route. I can get a job with a decent income and perhaps become rich after a while. But who knows?
Watch this video,
YouTube - Daniel Pink: A Whole New Mind
|03-11-2009, 07:40 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Amidst the cornfields of Central Indiana
What you're supposed to do is what you want to do, and if you've figured out the "want" you're way ahead of the masses. I spent 30 years doing a mediocre job of something that fit in the "supposed" slot; trust me, this is no way to live your life.
I believe that happiness and values are joined at the waist and suggest you begin by defining what specific things in your life are important to you. Then ask yourself "To what extent will doing this or that allow me to actualize that value?" Rate them form 1 to 10. For example...
Contribution is important to me. As a salesman I gave myself a 4; as I personal growth guru I get a 10!
Love of self: salesman 5, PG guru 8 (and climbing). Why? I'm doing what I was meant to do.
You get the idea. Perhaps nothing definitive will come from this exercise but often introspection can yield powerful results--good luck!
|03-11-2009, 08:31 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
I'm 28 and a lot like you. I'm an uphappy engineer realizing that I don't want to be my boss in 15-30 years. However, Is it possible that there is pressure from your coworkers because they may not trust you? They may already know about your alternate career goals possibly?
After reading your OP, I think that you should save money before doing BOTH options. Going to college and starting a business both cost money. Even doing your own side business at nights/weekends is going to cost money, I found that out the hard way. I started getting clients for my videography business and realized I need to keep buying and buying more equipment because I was afraid of getting a sour reputation for unprofessional delivery.
I suggest you just chill out for a while and pay off all your bills and save money for living/startup expenses. During this time you should create a business plan.
As an American who is NOW out of debt speaking to another we all need to stop living on high risky behavior and get more rooted.
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