|01-13-2009, 02:37 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Need Help in Differentiating Purpose vs Ego
I'm struggling in life right now and have been an on-again, off-again follower of personal development and Steve's website has been a great resource for me at times.
I'm in the process of once again trying to make sense of it all (life) and am struggling with conflicting beliefs that are in some cases driving passion for life, joy and fulfillment and other times very dibilitating to the point it makes me look forward to the day it's all over.
I'm in the process of going through the excercise Steve reccomends on finding ones purpose and the one that most resonates with me is "TO KNOW THAT I MATTER". For the most part all of my purpose statements over the past few years have been related to this theme and my question to everyone is, is this really a purpose declaration or an ego declaration.
Being/feeling respected is what instills the most profound emotions for me and I don't know if this is just me being shallow, wanting me to feed my ego by impressing people through what I've accomplished or if it can truely be my purpose and if is my purpose it feels rather self serving so I want to know how I can use that in a more positive way.
When it's been acknowledged that I matter, I feel great, empowered, energized and validated. That acknowledgement can come from my boss, my wife, my kids, my family and my friends. On the other hand when I think people feel I have failed them or are less than what I project to be, I feel worthless, like a failure and a fraud.
All replies welcome and appreciated.
|01-13-2009, 03:04 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
May I dare to say it can be either one? In your case, I think it's more ego, though. When it's ego, it depends on the affirmation of others to confirm that you matter. When you know that you matter, when you've found your true purpose, then you don't need others to confirm it. You just know. HTH.
|01-13-2009, 03:25 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2008
It's okay to have an ego if it works for you. In my case I no longer let pride in my way of life, I can accomplish more if I don't lie to myself, try to see the difference.
Instead of aiming for the top, aim to move forward. ^^
You are a people pleaser aren't you? Just know that you can't please anyone, it's a hard habit to break so just know that you can't please everybody, but you can try. Limit it to what your guts tell you though.
1. Be honest with yourself ->to know your limits
2. Improve on it
3. Appreciate the little things
4. Keep moving forward
|01-13-2009, 04:21 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Perth, Australia
However: listening to you, I think I heard a hint of what it could be.
|01-13-2009, 04:51 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Thank you very much for the response. You have provided me with a way to think about this in a way that extends beyond just me and what you wrote struck a cord with me that I need to do some more reflection on but is certainly something I hadn't thought of before. Especially the aspect that respect is not only of paramount importance to me but making sure that other are respected is something I didn't know I really cared about until you mentioned it.
Thanks, you've given me something to think about and have been a positive influence in my life.
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