Trying to find my life purpose is causing me to be disillusioned

[fireballsedai]

I just spent the past 2.5-3 hours attempting Steve's "find your life purpose" exercise, repeatedly answering the question "What is my true purpose in life?" Contrary to his advice, I did it on paper rather than in a computer program.

I definitely didn't encounter any answer that broke me. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do with my life, but it's definitely not something that's making me cry. Should I keep trying? The more answers I write, the more disillusioned I'm becoming. Maybe what I think is my life purpose is completely wrong, and I'm totally off track? Or maybe my purpose isn't going to move me to tears, because I've already got a good idea of what it is?

Has anyone else really tried this, and had success with it?

[Parthon]

I've gone through the exercise, but I've stopped short of finding it, still got issues to work through surrounding it. :P

The method is really a way to explore your inner space and get connected to what is really, truely important to you. If it doesn't move you to tears and fill you with joy then it's not the right one. Your true purpose is a beacon of light to you, and when you discover it, you will know.

The trick is that you can't think your way to your purpose, you have to feel your way there. If you have a fair idea what it could be, that could be a good start, or it could be a trap. The best way to find out is to start with one point and explore it, minimise youe thinking and just explore the space from within. Don't try and work it out, or figure it out, just focus on the present moment and write down what comes up. If you feel like you are closer or heading in the right direction, follow it. If you feel like you've gone off course, then go back to an earlier point and explore that furthur. The only time you want to break the space to revisit the question is if you get completely stuck in a corner. You are sort of trying to answer the question: but mainly you are exploring the space of who you are, and what you are truely here for.

As for what your purpose looks like? It's not something you do, it's not something you want, it's not something you can be. It's an inner most expression of who you are, and a full self expression of how to bring that into the world.

[lifetimelearner]

have you tried this -

Follow Your Heartbreak

[allirowe23]

Originally Posted by fireballsedai

I just spent the past 2.5-3 hours attempting Steve's "find your life purpose" exercise, repeatedly answering the question "What is my true purpose in life?" Contrary to his advice, I did it on paper rather than in a computer program.

I definitely didn't encounter any answer that broke me. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do with my life, but it's definitely not something that's making me cry. Should I keep trying? The more answers I write, the more disillusioned I'm becoming. Maybe what I think is my life purpose is completely wrong, and I'm totally off track? Or maybe my purpose isn't going to move me to tears, because I've already got a good idea of what it is?

Has anyone else really tried this, and had success with it?

I went through exactly the same thing. I wrote about 200 responses. I tried to stray from the purpose I already thought I had but nothing really hit me hard. I've kind of given up on identifying my purpose because I can recognize that I'm being guided in the right direction even though I don't know what that direction is. The keyword is progress. As long as you're always moving forward you're doing alright.

[fireballsedai]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

have you tried this -

Follow Your Heartbreak

Ooh, yes! Thanks lifetimelearner, this is exactly what I was looking for. The life purpose that I've set for myself outside of Steve's exercise (ending environmental destruction) is definitely an example of me moving away from my heartbreak instead of me following my motivation.

Which is probably not ideal. But, Parthon, it's definitely an emotional response that I have, not a logical one. It's just that my emotional response is negative.

Thanks everyone!

[erego]

Brad Swift's Life on Purpose was immensely helpful to me creating my life purpose. I found it through Steve's recommendation (Personal Development books).

Somewhere in Steve's site, he posted a very extensive list of values. I noticed I created my Life Purpose primarily via my core values--values you would die for. I imagined it as values I would rather die for than obeying someone and not live them (eg, if my core value is honesty, I would rather die than obey to live by telling a lie). These values, according to Brad, are normally a few, not more than 6. I have 4. These values are separated from your chosen values in how important they are to you, and are definitely different from your socially conditioned 'should' values (I should be honest). Filter out your values and see how it goes.

[sbdiane]

I took an adult education course where we read the introduction to a book called Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life. We also did a bunch of workshop exercises and watched a few videos. All of this was to help us connect the dots on the common themes that resonnate repeatedly with each one of us.

I think it helps to be around other people sometimes. Just reading stuff on the internet and doing some exercises all by yourself doesn't work for everyone.

[purposeman]

Originally Posted by fireballsedai

I just spent the past 2.5-3 hours attempting Steve's "find your life purpose" exercise, repeatedly answering the question "What is my true purpose in life?" Contrary to his advice, I did it on paper rather than in a computer program.

I definitely didn't encounter any answer that broke me. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do with my life, but it's definitely not something that's making me cry. Should I keep trying? The more answers I write, the more disillusioned I'm becoming. Maybe what I think is my life purpose is completely wrong, and I'm totally off track? Or maybe my purpose isn't going to move me to tears, because I've already got a good idea of what it is?

Has anyone else really tried this, and had success with it?

My deep belief and experience is that purpose is not something that is "figured out," but rather something that is "revealed." If you believe that we were designed with a purpose then it makes sense that time spent relating to our Designer would tell us more about ourselves. I have found this to be more of a "journey" than a "destination." My formula for purpose is really simple: Design + Calling = Purpose. The various aspects that make me unique (personality, talent, experience, passion, etc.) tells me a lot about my intended function. Calling is simply the Designer's intention as to how we are to apply our unqueness in a way that contributes to our world. I have found that when we desire a relationship with Him, he guides us through many means including the Bible, counsel from trusted leadership and our own thoughts and impressions. The more we practice this, the more clear our purpose becomes.

[RomanticWarrior]

Went thru this a while back...here's my 2 cents...

My conclusion is that having a singular purpose is an illusion....

I concluded, that because I exist, I already am multi-purpose...look at your roles...father,mother, brother, sister,husband, wife, friend, metalworker, jokester, lover, grumpy fellow..whatever..you're a living label of whatever image of yourself you portray...

So I decided to do something else....

I write a list of all the things I enjoy so I can use the law of attraction to attract more of them. I ignore the stuff I dont like. I then link up with people with similar interests to mine and we have fun together...

Your ultimate purpose in life is to live life with the greatest enjoyment possible. Your lessons are delivered in challenges, which tell you, its time to learn something new...Lots of stuff on the net about fearless living when something new that stinks comes your way...

How many hours do you have left to live? How many of them do you want to try figuring out what your purpose is?....

Your mind is a universal web-browser...whatever thought you type into it, attracts like thoughts...
What kind of fun do I want to have today?...
vs...How many ways can I find to waste time not having any fun?

Go kiss that girl, go ride that bike, Go get a speeding ticket, go make that thing, go test yourself, learn that guitar...learn to love yourself more, so you can give that love to others....go be whatever your heart draws you too...and you lose track of time doing...

thats the purpose I arrived at....

hopefully that ends the mind-numbing search....

As this is my first post, maybe this was a divine purpose of mine, to share this so that someone else can find happiness..who knows...maybe it ticked somebody off..maybe it springboarded some ideas that lead to someplace positive...

[eroell]

Romantic Warrior gave a great reply to this thread. I am in total agreement that our purpose will always be what brings us joy. We didn't come here for the struggle--we came to grow and expand through experience. If your search for your purpose is causing disillusionment, you are heading in the wrong direction! What do you love doing? When are you happiest? Who are you with when you are happiest? Where do you feel good? We all have a unique gift to give to the world and it is always something we feel drawn to, that comes fairly naturally and easily. We may need to take classes and learn new skills to express it, but it will feel fun. We are here to have fun! So what are you passionate about? What gets you out of bed in the morning?

I found when I couldn't answer that last question I needed to reassess my life and admit that where I was going felt like struggle and "shoulds". I ASKED the Universe for some help with this--a teacher, book, anything. I had absolute faith I would be answered. The whole universe is poised to help us if we ask. What showed up for me was a book called "The Passion Test" by Janet and Chris Attwood. Highly recommend it. I did identify what I was passionate about without prejudging how to make any of it into a career. As it turned out, I did find a career from my passions and I did need to take a 12month training program to make it happen. But it was fun and expansive for me because it was clearly what I wanted to do. Remember--the basis of our lives is freedom and the purpose is joy.

[dreamjobdragon]

An easy tip that helped me move closer to my purpose was instead of asking myself "What am I passionate about?" (to which my mind could only respond "nothing") to "What could I be passionate about?"

Simply changing the phrase opened up a world of possibility that I hadn't considered before.

Best of luck

[curiouslyrandom]

I didn't even do Steve's quiz thing. I asked my guides, instead. They told me to listen to the radio news at a specific time to get my message, which I did.

And then I couldn't stop sobbing.

I still cry every time I think about where I'm heading with my life, and what it's going to put me through. I'm excited, blissful and expectant, but boy, this is not going to be an easy path to tread, and not one I would have expected... but then again, some small part of me always knew I'd end up doing it.

Following your heartbreak would have gotten me to the same result.

[HeartExalted]

Someone who wants to find his/her purpose and passion might consider making a vision board -- if one is visually inclined. Check out the link and pay particular attention to "Three Types of Vision Boards," especially the "opening and allowing" variety. My hypothesis here is that, by pasting together a collage of exceedingly inspiring words and images, you could create a valuable contemplation tool that you could look at frequently. By doing so repeatedly, you may start to manifest insight into your own purpose.

Alternatively, you could write down various things that you find inspiring...

• Activities
• Objects
• Memories
• People
• Places
• Quotes
• Phrases
• Etc.

...and read that list of things regularly, just allowing the feelings of joy, excitement, inspiration, etc. to wash over you. Doing so regularly may lead you to insight into your passion.

Either of these might be helped by including an affirmation like "Day by day, I am discovering my passion, with greater and greater clarity."

My two cents.

[Chameleon]

Originally Posted by RomanticWarrior

Went thru this a while back...here's my 2 cents...

My conclusion is that having a singular purpose is an illusion....

I concluded, that because I exist, I already am multi-purpose...look at your roles...father,mother, brother, sister,husband, wife, friend, metalworker, jokester, lover, grumpy fellow..whatever..you're a living label of whatever image of yourself you portray...

So I decided to do something else....

I write a list of all the things I enjoy so I can use the law of attraction to attract more of them. I ignore the stuff I dont like. I then link up with people with similar interests to mine and we have fun together...

Your ultimate purpose in life is to live life with the greatest enjoyment possible. Your lessons are delivered in challenges, which tell you, its time to learn something new...Lots of stuff on the net about fearless living when something new that stinks comes your way...

How many hours do you have left to live? How many of them do you want to try figuring out what your purpose is?....

Your mind is a universal web-browser...whatever thought you type into it, attracts like thoughts...
What kind of fun do I want to have today?...
vs...How many ways can I find to waste time not having any fun?

Go kiss that girl, go ride that bike, Go get a speeding ticket, go make that thing, go test yourself, learn that guitar...learn to love yourself more, so you can give that love to others....go be whatever your heart draws you too...and you lose track of time doing...

thats the purpose I arrived at....

hopefully that ends the mind-numbing search....

As this is my first post, maybe this was a divine purpose of mine, to share this so that someone else can find happiness..who knows...maybe it ticked somebody off..maybe it springboarded some ideas that lead to someplace positive...

WOW...thank you for this post! I believe that it was indeed your divine purpose to put this out there.

I have been searching for my "life purpose" ALL my life, and at the age of 58 it has become fairly obvious that I don't seem to have one. I get/have been passionate about different things at different times, but never long enough to accomplish much of anything that anyone would notice. Especially in the area of CAREER choice...NEVER found out what "following my bliss" would entail for me.

I think your post explains it all perfectly......Now I can get on with just trying to focus my thoughts in a positive direction without worrying about "purpose".

HOORAY!

[falcan]

Sometimes looking for something too hard causes the thing to hide :-) You seemed to have the idea that if you couldn't find a thing that makes you cry on some sort of list, you couldn't be sucessfull.

But as you said yourself, sometimes just focusing the mind in a positive direction makes wonders. The best part is, as long as you keep doing stuff making you happy, it means you are going in the right direction (whatever it is).

The more intensity you do those things with, the more your purpose reveals itself :-) But don't focus on that, don't try to identify the word for the purpose, just enjoy what you are doing and it might show, in time, like a puzzle that you put together. Focus on giving, providing value in some way unique to you - I think that't the basis of what we have to do, in whatever form we do it.

The sucessfull people I talk to tell me "they just do what's fun". The shortcut with list might help, but I wouldn't take it as something you should put all your hopes&dreams in.

Enjoy life

[NexusOfCompletion]

Your purpose is not textual, but action itself. Your purpose is unleashing the potential within.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

I didn't even do Steve's quiz thing. I asked my guides, instead. They told me to listen to the radio news at a specific time to get my message, which I did.

And then I couldn't stop sobbing.

I still cry every time I think about where I'm heading with my life, and what it's going to put me through. I'm excited, blissful and expectant, but boy, this is not going to be an easy path to tread, and not one I would have expected... but then again, some small part of me always knew I'd end up doing it.

Following your heartbreak would have gotten me to the same result.

That's wild. So what is it you'll be doing?

[James81]

Victor Frankl made a proposition in his book that shook my perspective on this quite a bit. Basically, he said:

Instead of asking yourself what you expect from life, ask yourself what life expects from you.

That one rattled me because I think it's a more empowering perspective. That is, if you are seeking your life's purpose, that perspective makes you think that it's out there to be found....or, that there is some inherent reason why you are here. Which, when you question that, you discover doesn't feel true at your core. It's an incongruency with "what is." You weren't brought here for any specific purpose. Your life doesn't have any inherent meaning beyond the idea that you exist and survive and grow.

But, reframing that perspective, to me, seems more empowering because it essentially puts you in the mindset that, instead of FINDING your life's purpose, you create it. What does life expect from you? The very premise of that question presupposes that you generate the answer from within instead of searching externally.

[Sue_B]

I used to get so frustrated trying to figure out my purpose. As a result I read about different methods/models for finding your purpose.

The frustration was caused by three things:
1. How I defined purpose at the time - the talent or gift I was here to express in my work. Now I believe that my purpose is a way of being that I can bring to everything I do whereas my unique talent or gift is an activity I can do and express in my work daily. (A clue for finding the latter is looking at things you do where time just flies.)

2. I wanted to get it exactly right. Instead of finding the perfect wording, go with what feels right now. You can live it and revisit and refine it in a couple of months.

3. The belief that I should know. We all know what happens when we should ourselves! We each have different gestation rates!

In Chapter 2 of Jack Canfield's "Success Habits" book - he shares a method for determining your purpose. It guides you to create a life purpose statement.

I think you just know in your gut/heart when you've pinpointed your purpose. If tears are not a part of your process, then maybe they're just not a part of your process. If you have a good idea of what your purpose is now, then go with it. As per 2 above - revisit it and refine it in a couple of months.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Well, it might not work for everyone. To be honest, I've never done it. It helps if you already know your purpose. But your purpose is self-made. My purpose is to bring joy, laughter, and well-being to others' lives. And to teach them a few things they may not know. But it was something I decided on, and part of it comes natural, such as my sense of humor, and I see the way it touches other people's lives and it makes me feel wonderful.

And by the way, a computer is definitely not necessary. Even starving Africans can do this exercise, although their purpose will undoubtedly be different than ours...