Late bloomers?

[pyrogen]

I don't know if this is the right forum, so bear with me.

I'm 35 and in about the same life place as a motivated 21 year old.

I spent my teens and twenties pretty much just farting around and amusing myself... playing role-playing games and being heavily involved in sci-fi fandom. I didn't really do anything with my life. I had no goals for the future.

I've finally "got it" and have a direction I want to go (either into medicine or science or both)... but I have the double whammy, too, of being 35, female and also wanting a family and also having to completely start from scratch in school and career. I figure that I can adopt a child close to 40, after I finish a bachelor's degree, but that's not an easy process. I know some people who became doctors at 40+, but they ALREADY HAD their kids!!

It's depressing sometimes to look around and see other people my age who already have career, already have family, or have both. It's also depressing at times knowing that a lot of people don't want to be with someone who isn't some kind of finished product, by my age.

I feel like I missed the boat to "have it all", I needed to get started a lot sooner. People who want children, who have professional type of careers, have already established those careers by my age; and people in my position in school seem to usually have already had families. How am I going to do both at 35?

There's also the ways in which feeling like my nonseriousness in my 20s, is going to bite me in the ass. I was NOT a good student, I completed a lot of units, and that very mediocre GPA is going to haunt me. I wish I hadn't gone to school at all before deciding to go the medicine/science route.

[Vanderlei]

Hi,
I'm very young, 15 y.o., and I was childish and really stuck in time a few months/days ago. But suddenly I realized it all and felt myself becoming better and more consciousness fastly. I've experienced kind of a quick evolution and I can tell you since you "got it" and develop your consciousness you may achieve so many things quickly, and it's what really matters, doesn't matter where you are right now, experiencing the growth of your mind and consciouss is priceless.


You're still young and surely got a lot of time.

[WayToTwilight]

Pyrogen

I wouldn't really know what to do in your situation, you might need to be a bit more specific on what things you have and don't have, skill set wise and also what you want to do (medicine and science is still pretty broad).

What kind of degree do you have? What skill sets do you have? What specific industry do you want to get into? Within science there is so much... chemistry, biology, physics and engineering just to name a few.

I think what you need to do is really pull all your resources together. It isn't too late for anyone. It will be tough if you want to be a doctor, that's a lot of schooling and yes it will take you a while, but if that's what you really really want, you should go for it. I think though that you really need to be clear with yourself about what you want to do.

Of course to be realistic, at age 35, yes you may be behind a lot of other people, but that doesn't mean you can't do something about it.

A family on the other hand is difficult. And I believe you ought to establish your career first. But I believe that through hard work, you can get anything you want, a decent career and a family. Don't put yourself down. I guess as Steve might say, your consciousness level has just risen. Maybe you won't have a full blown career and family with 2 kids in 5 years, but think about how much progress you could make in 5 years. Maybe by then you'll have finished a new degree, got a job and have a boyfriend (I'm assuming you don't have one). It's totally possible to do all those things at the same time.

But one thing is for sure, you need to be willing to do hard work, to do whatever it takes to get you there. I believe if you have the motivation and the persistence you'll get there. But I guess now that you've "woken" up, try not to wallow in your own pain too much, I know it's easier said than done. Instead try to focus as much on making progress in your career. Your age is nothing you can change. The only thing you can change are your attitudes, your actions and your beliefs. Anything is possible and you have the power to get there. Let us know what you decide to do and give us updates on how your life is going. Whatever you do, get moving!

[Stressless]

Hi pyrogen,

Okay you have wasted many years, but you do have lots of time left to achieve your goals. If you have chosen medicine or a medicine related career and are studying for that, finish your studies first. You can get married if you have a person who supports your life goals.

If you do get married and it is too late to have your own children (though nowadays women even past their child-bearing years can have assisted pregnancies), you can always consider adoption. It is not necessary that you have to adopt a newborn, you can always adopt an older child. Problems can be resolved - that is why God tests us constantly.