What do I want?

[Nikos Sokin]

I debated whether to phrase the above 'what do I want' or 'what do you want' because sounded a bit odd and misleading.

The fact is, I'm getting repeated signals that all I need to do is figure out what I want. But for the life of me, though I am a passionate person, I have many interests, and I am ambitious (in a qualified manner), I have yet to figure out what exactly I want from this point on. Previous goals have focused on much more immediate concerns--finding a major, finding a job, getting into grad school, etc.

I know part of this lack of knowledge is some form of fear. But part of it is simply overthinking by an analytic brain.

Does anyone have stories to share on less than straight pathways through which they found purpose?

Thanks!

Nikos

[tc33]

Nikos, allow me to share my personal experience with you. I believe the advancement of my personal happiness (aka living my values) is the purpose of my life. However, I struggled for years with attempting to define a single path that would enable me to directly achieve this. I would think I had it, then BAM! it turned out that I was ready for something else. A few months ago I read this article from Steve:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...ns-that-stick/

Instead of asking questions like, “What should I do?” or “What’s the right decision?” consider asking, “What do I want to experience now?”

This message resonated strongly with me. I have accepted the fact that I will probably always be striving for something greater and more purposeful in my life. As I achieve one goal, I briefly celebrate (if at all) and set my sights on the next target. For example, I'm only 28 years old and I'm already working on career change #4

Asking myself "what do I want to experience now" instead of "how do I want to live the rest of my life" has changed my attitude towards life in general. I no longer feel an internal pressure to find something and stick to it permanently; rather I have chosen to live my life as a series of experiences which I will roughly sketch out for the short term and proceed from there.

This model works on the micro level as well. Let's say you have an opportunity to do something you wouldn't normally do, like, say, go and see an opera. Ask yourself, "is this something I want to experience?" instead of "is this something I want to do?". Surprisingly, the answer to each question will often be different.

So...what do you want to experience?

Tom

[BlueCrane]

Thanks Tom, that was a good reminder for me. I am in the middle of one of those major life changes right now and often think /ask myself questions along these lines at the moment.

I guess it takes going through a lot of confusion on many different roads before the crystallization process starts showing some clear preferences, ambitions and talents you want or need to pursue long-term.

[tc33]

BlueCrane: glad I can help. I think you're spot-on with this comment:

Originally Posted by BlueCrane

I guess it takes going through a lot of confusion on many different roads before the crystallization process starts showing some clear preferences, ambitions and talents you want or need to pursue long-term.

Live, learn, and adapt. After struggling for years, I have finally accepted the fact that I can't plan out my entire life, simply because I'm ignorant about all of the possibilities out there, and I can only become aware of these possibilities by having new life experiences. The philosophy of "what do I want to experience now" facilitates this discovery, thus enhancing my overall life.

And it's all thanks to Steve. Maybe I should finally click that Paypal link and send him a few bucks, eh?

- Tom

[joshbickford]

The key to finding your purpose is to follow your heart. I know that sounds cheesey, but when you find it you will know.

I also agree that you should spend time focusing on what you want to do now, not what do I want to be. All of your experiences will compound and you'll be more able to follow your heart because of the growth that you'll have experienced in doing what you wanted to do, not what you felt like you had to do. After all, doing what you want sounds a lot more fun than doing what you have to.

The journey for me to find my purpose was a strange one, and I was sitting in a room full of people when I found it. And as soon as the idea came to me I knew it. Then I could look back and see all the moments, traits and desires I had and knew that they all pointed to this purpose, it just took me a long time to find it.

Also, be sure to do what you love. God made you to enjoy the purpose that He made you for. So naturally, you're going to love doing what it is that you've been made to do.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by tc33

“What do I want to experience now?

Tom, thank you for reminding me of that. It's a very inspiring and empowering question to ask myself for choosing my next steps. I'm going to incorporate that into my Plan of Heaven 2007.
Angela

[tc33]

Angela -- you're so welcome! Thank you for your many contributions to this forum as well.

BTW, I'm intrigued by your "Plan of Heaven 2007". Would you mind sharing? Maybe I will want to experience putting together a "Plan of Heaven" as well

- Tom

[Angela]

Originally Posted by tc33

Maybe I will want to experience putting together a "Plan of Heaven" as well

- Tom

Ha!

Plan of Heaven 2007 is my umbrella term for all the intentions and actions I'm cooking up to make 2007 the finest year of my life, so far. (Heaven was the best rhyme I could find for ...seven. Sounds a little ponderous, doesn't it? Years ending in ...eight are MUCH more fun to find names for!)

Right now I am simmering and shimmering with all the possibilities, just letting my thoughts and desires bubble up without too much judgement. This weekend I will do the writing part -- listing everything and then boiling it all down to a pithy and inspiring Plan of Heaven, that will be my mana-festo for the coming year.

[tc33]

Angela, thanks for sharing -- I hope you simmer, shimmer, and bubble your way to a productive 2007!

I've decided to stick with the "fly by the seat of my pants" strategy for 2007. That way, when I don't achieve any of my original goals, I won't have to hold myself accountable. Brilliant, eh?