My life purpose. I think this is it!!

[ydnab40]

I now know what my life purpose is.

It has taken me a while to discover. I have had many false starts and been down a few blind alleys, but I now know my life purpose.

My life purpose is to be an enabler (note to self: I need a better word to describe my life purpose. “Enabler” sounds wrong in my head but is the nearest word I can come up with to describe my feelings).

My purpose in life is to make it possible for others to realise their ambitions and dreams. I am the person they come to for advice. I am the shoulder for them to cry on and the sounding board for their ideas. It is my job to listen without prejudice and to help them to turn their ideas into a reality, or to set them on the path they need to travel down to realise their dream.

What made me realise this when I thought about the times I have helped people. Right from my early days on c.b. radio in my teens, when I used to find myself being the person other cb’ers called on when they had a personal problem. I rarely solved their problems outright but often found myself acting as their verbal punch bag, or counsellor. A “listener”, one might say.

More recently, my wife, Claire, was declaring how she would love to run her own TaeKwonDo club. If only she could find a venue. One day, on the way back from town, I was listening to her going on about “one day” this and “maybe, sometime I will get a hall and start a club”. I simply pulled into the car park of the local boxing club that we passed most days and went in to speak to the owner about hiring the hall. Much to my wife’s embarrassment. The result? A few weeks later Claire was holding her first club night. This eventually led to her inheriting a much larger club when her old instructor retired. Maybe, had she not proven herself with her first club, she may not have been considered to take over her instructor’s club.

On the way to finding my life purpose I went through all the usual things such as being a writer, earning a living from blogging, working from home in some creative or technical field to do with computers. All of these things I would still love to achieve. However it soon dawned on me that the reason these don’t feel right are because they are selfish ambitions. Nothing inherently wrong with them, but they don’t excite me in the way that being an “enabler” does.

To see someone blossom thanks to my actions is the thing that really stirs up emotions in me whenever I imagine myself in that role. in fact I'm almost crying as I write this!!

I’m not sure how I get from being a full time lorry driver (and spare time geek) to becoming an “enabler” (I need a better word to describe this role). I’m not even sure if it is something that I can make a living from. To be honest, I don’t really care that much, I just want to find a way to alter my life so that I can have the time and freedom to help people take their first steps on realising their own ambitions. Even just being a listening ear to someone going through a tough time is something I would love to be able to do. I’ve lost count of the times I have sat in a bar listening patiently to someone spilling out their life story to me over a pint or three. Usually someone I have never met before that drink and usually never see again!!

Now I know what my life purpose is, I just need find a way to offer this up to the universe and give it permission to help me make space in my life for me to become what I need to be.

I hope this makes sense, I had to write it out before the feeling fades back into my subconscious.

By posting this on here I feel that I am making my intentions public, now I have an obligation to the world to at least try to make them a reality for myself.

Many thanks, Andy.

P.S I still want to be a full time geek

[PeaceCat]

Hi Andy,

I liked reading this, it's great that you've figured out your life purpose and want to make your intentions public!

Enabler seems a good word, another word I thought of recently for this type of person is perhaps something like a muse? (e.g. inspires creativity and action in others). There doesn't seem to be one good concise word though.

You said "I’m not sure how I get from being a full time lorry driver (and spare time geek) to becoming an “enabler”"

Perhaps you could start with some volunteer activities like being a counsellor (e.g. with a telephone counselling service like Samaritans) getting involved in an arts or youth group, or teaching computer skills at a community college.

When I was younger I had some involvement in leading drama workshops, which kind of happened by accident, but I believe being in such a situation lends itself to "enabling" work - people who need some support, inspiration, advice tend to gravitate towards you, and you tend to find that you just happen to be in the right place at the right time for particular people.

My mum recently managed to turn the "volunteer evening work" into paid day work (doing arts & music therapy with autistic people), through connections she made as a volunteer, so volunteering seems a good place to start - I think of it like you start doing the work and the universe catches up and rewards you for it

Just throwing some ideas at you! Best of luck!

[Kaspian]

Alternate words and images that popped into my head as I read your post:

Activator - as in jump-starting other people into action

Booster - as in giving someone a boost. The image of this I have is of someone lacing his fingers together to form a stirrup to boost someone else onto a horse bareback. The rider could jump on without help, but it's much easier for both her and the horse if she gets a boost!

Facilitator

[ydnab40]

Thanks guys. I like the sound of the name "booster".

Peacecat. you said your Mum turned her volunteer work into paid work working with autistic people. This struck a chord with me as my son is mildly autistic!!

I need to calm my working hours down in order to be able to volunteer. At the moment, working as a lorry driver means I work night shifts and can do anything up to a 15 hour shift. This is good for the money, paying off some debts I owe!! but not good for any form of life outside of work and sleep.

I guess this is my first "life improvement" challenge. finding a job that will still pay the bills but allow me to do more community stuff in the evenings. Oh, and maybe have the odd weekend off work too!!

[sbdiane]

You sound like a counselor. Faciliator is a good word, too. Enabler sounds too much like the wife of an acoholic.

[ydnab40]

Originally Posted by sbdiane

You sound like a counselor. Faciliator is a good word, too. Enabler sounds too much like the wife of an acoholic.

Counselor feels like the right job title. I like the sound of that. I find that people don't always want my opinion or advice on things. More often i am there as a listening ear. When i cast judgement on something i always feel as though i've overstepped a line.
Apologies for any typos in this post. I'm doing it from my cell phone while i'm at work.

[PeaceCat]

"I guess this is my first "life improvement" challenge. finding a job that will still pay the bills but allow me to do more community stuff in the evenings."

Something that can help is to look at your budget and reduce unnecessary expenses, even if it's just temporarily, I'm doing this at the moment as I have reduced the salary requirements of my next job in order to open up more opportunities (by doing this, I've been able to apply for more community oriented work, which tends to pay lower than my current line of work - so I decided to sell my car - it's a trade off I'm happy to make in order to have more fulfilling work, even if I'll have to get a bus/train to it ).

Good luck

p.s. I like the term Facilitator, it sounds more empowering!

[Trezker]

Catalyst is also an awesome word.

[Elfwing]

Personally, I like catalyst.

Thank you so much for posting this, it's inspiring. It's made a couple of things clear about my own purpose - I'm getting close, but I don't know exactly what it is yet.

[ydnab40]

So far I have as titles: Activator, Booster, Counsellor, catalyst, facilitator

I need to mull over theses titles (and google them lol)

Thanks for all your input and to Elfwing, I'm glad you are getting closer to finding your purpose.

For what it's worth, I did the list writing thing Steve suggests a month or two back and found that I didn't get any results from it other than finding out all the stuff I don't want to do. I then let it simmer for a while in the back of my mind. I don't know how to meditate so all I did was leave it to my subconscious to chew over for a bit.

All of a sudden, while I was in my lorry at work on a break, I had what I can only describe as a flash and the idea of my original post came to my mind. I feel it has always been there since I was a teenager in the late 70's early 80's although I have never realised it until now!! almost like a "dummy...you knew this all along" moment.

So, If you feel you are getting nowhere with all this life purpose and Loa stuff, just step away from it and let your subconscous work on it for a few weeks. It may come up with something surprising!!

I even stopped looking at this forum until I felt ready to come back to it. Heh, I subscribed to the nokia Ngage forum, can't get any further away than that could I?

[Elfwing]

I'm wondering if I'm an "activator" of sorts. I don't think that's solely it - inspiration and determination and just -getting there- has something to do with it as well. And individuality plays a large part of it, that I -know-.

I did Steve's exercise as well. I think I've tried it three or four times by now. I've been close, but never actually got there.

[openyourize]

how about a coach or mentor? those are real jobs you dont have to be a doctor for.

[Starman]

ydnab40:

Congradulations, I can hear it in your "voice" that you're either on to it, or you're real close. Don't you find this knowledge about yourself powerfully clearifying?

My God, does the world need you!!!

My life's purpose is to help people find peace, to be a piecemaker between people not understanding each other, between people in conflict, between a person and their past, to help a person achieve harmony and stability in their world.

*Starman