Would you support other people's unhealthy habits?

[The Cloud]

I get the feeling that we're both talking about the same thing, and we're just arguing about the words we're using to say it. So, I concede to you that your paradigm is a good one, just not the one that I thought it was based on your first post.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by seeker5

The fact that you've chosen to make your life with someone who is so radically different from you in your health habits.

True, we are very different! Not only in the health area.

But our core values are (roughly, almost) the same. We express them differently, and make very different choices indeed. But what matters to us deep down is similar. Isn't that the most important point?

No matter what, there's no denying that who you chose to deeply love and spend your life with will deeply influence the kind of person you are. Thus, it's mind-boggling the temptations, the internal stuff going on in the back of your mind that you will face over the years, ready to be unleashed at your weakest moments.

I guess this is true.

When I decided to go for him, I knew it wouldn't be easy.

I suppose I'll have to be much stronger and more aware than if living with someone who's making the same choices as I do.

Thank you for the compliments, the concern and for your love

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I get the feeling that we're both talking about the same thing, and we're just arguing about the words we're using to say it. So, I concede to you that your paradigm is a good one, just not the one that I thought it was based on your first post.

Hey Cloud, thank you SO much for this conversation. Talking about it with you tremendously helped me gain clarity about my motives, my fears and about what matters to me deep down. Thanks.

And thanks to all others who posted in this thread too! Isn't it interesting how your answers were so different, from "never!" to "of course" via "it depends" or "be present and listen to your intuition"?

[seanner689]

Originally Posted by StellaBlue

I think I would lean towards no since it is you doing the action. To me, that is not imposing beliefs or interfering with free will. My family won't ever come over to my house for dinner because I will not buy meat, cook meat, or store meat in my house. To do any thing other than that would go against my beliefs. They can do whatever they want in their own homes and with their own hands, but I don't want to take part in it. That is both ethical and out of concern for their own health. Sadly, their idea of healthy eating is not even slightly healthy.

Oh, and when I only ate raw, I didn't cook food for anyone either. I was more than happy to prepare anything raw for anyone though

My friends have never asked me to buy their cigarettes, and I do know a lot of people who smoke. I would probably tell them they could come with me and buy their own cigarettes if I was already going out. I don't think I would actively participate any further than that.

A few weeks ago I had a few friends staying the weekend at my house from out of town. They wanted to go get a bottle of alcohol and bring it back to the house. I told them absolutely not. I didn't want to bring that kind of energy into my house and I didn't want to facilitate people I care about doing something that I feel is unhealthy. They thought I was acting ridiculous... I guess that is even a step further than just not buying it for them, huh?

Exactly, different people have different perceptions, even in terms of what they would consider active participation of the other person's habit.

For example, some people might say that buying someone booze doesn't jive with their beliefs but may be fine with having that person back to their house to drink it. Some people would consider that giving them a venue to perpetuate their habits is taking an active role. Taking it a step further (and getting back to the original thread title), you could also argue that hanging out with the person while they are partaking in their unhealthy habits would be considered as positive reinforcement and (at least a passive) support. Same goes with being friends with someone - it's not uncommon to hear of an alcoholic who has lost good friends and loved ones because of their habit. So, for me, the response to the original question really depends on the circumstance, and what you consider 'support' to be.

For example:

1.
You don't floss? You may be setting yourself on a destructive one way street to gingivitisville. I don't agree with your beliefs, but that's cool ... we can still hang out.

2.
You're a raging heroin addict? I probbably want to have as little interaction as possible, and obviously no active or passive reinforcement.