How can you be competitive and a lightworker at the same time?

[seeker5]

I want to become a lightworker.

At the same time, my number one talent that came up during the Strengh Finders test...was competitivenes. I do love competitive events, and I can get really fired up and motivated at the thought of beating someone else in a very worthwhile enterprise, especially if the event is so challenging, I know I have to put my entire being into that competition to be able to win. I also don't like competiting when I know I'll easily beat the other person.

I've heard Steve mention that a lightworker does not compete against other people - does not see life as a competition, as we are all one, and a lightworker's goal is to help others.

So, how do I reconcile the two?

[StellaBlue]

Hmm, that is an interesting one. I am really competitive too and have wondered about this. Maybe, you need to adjust your view on why you want to compete so that it benefits others.

"I want to compete against others to push them to be the very best that they can be."

That sounds helpful!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by StellaBlue

"I want to compete against others to push them to be the very best that they can be."

That sounds helpful!

Hehe, that does sound nice.

Although, I wouldn't be honest with myself since I really do compete for the thrill of a hard-fought victory .

[StellaBlue]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Hehe, that does sound nice.

Although, I wouldn't be honest with myself since I really do compete for the thrill of a hard-fought victory .

How about this one...
"If I compete against others, I will feel more motivated, relieve myself of stress, and feel better about myself; therefore I will be better emotionally and mentally fit to serve others in the long run." ...or something along those lines!

Otherwise, maybe you just have to cheat on lightworking one tiny little bit I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Just send the Universe your apologies.

Or, if you really don't want to do that, then try to get to the bottom of why you are so competitive and try to turn it around to something more "lightworker friendly."

[Brutha]

Otherwise, maybe you just have to cheat on lightworking one tiny little bit I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

If you cheat you won't reach the clarity that the decision of polarization promises.

You don't have to be a lightworker because it is somehow the moral thing to do.

Polarisation is about not doing certain things. It a hard choice. You don't grow much through easy decisions.

[StellaBlue]

Originally Posted by Brutha

If you cheat you won't reach the clarity that the decision of polarization promises.

You don't have to be a lightworker because it is somehow the moral thing to do.

Polarisation is about not doing certain things. It a hard choice. You don't grow much through easy decisions.

Ah, sorry, bad suggestion I guess.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by StellaBlue

How about this one...
"If I compete against others, I will feel more motivated, relieve myself of stress, and feel better about myself; therefore I will be better emotionally and mentally fit to serve others in the long run." ...or something along those lines!

Well, that's what I already used to believe.

I believed competition was good, it would bring out the best in everyone. When I compete, I tend to compete for the victory, for the thrill of winning, of being able to engage my entire being to win. I don't do it to push someone down, to deny someone else something. I don't like competing against someone that it is easy to beat, I get bored with that. I prefer competition against someone who is very hard to beat - so hard that I have to fully engage all of myself to beat...

In games, which is where i've mostly had the experience of competition, once I beat someone, I'd frequently give them tips or explain how I did it so they'd learn it and hopefully give me more of a challenge next time . I actually sometimes love getting beat at times - if I get beat in a very hard fought game with someone I've never played before. That means that this guy, or girl, is a real challenge and my next game is going to be even more enjoyable knowing how hard of a challenge this person is to beat...yet knowing since they had a hard time beating me, that I do have a good chance of being able to beat them and win.

Or, if you really don't want to do that, then try to get to the bottom of why you are so competitive and try to turn it around to something more "lightworker friendly."

Yeah, hmmmm. I was thinking after reading your post that maybe I mixed up being competitive in games (which is where I've mostly experienced this competitiveness and the thrill with it), vs being competitive in the real world with real-world consequences.

That the former might be ok from a polarity point of view of being a lightworker - because you're really seeking to have fun, and enjoy yourself with no real world consequences. Whereas, from a polarity point of view, competition against others on purpose in the real world can cause problems because as a ligthworker - you're there to help others, not to crush them in defeat. At least, that's not your intention. Hmmmm.

[Trezker]

A lightworker doesn't compete against others, he competes _with_ others. There's are lots of statistics you can compare and be proud about in cooperative work.

In my latest project we looked at svn commit statistics now and then. Some of us programmers were more active than others. It doesn't say much about how much good we're doing but it pushed us to focus better and do more good work to commit.

With the right attitude competition is a great tool for motivation. But you have to always put quality first. Those who cheat to win has either not understood what competition is about, or they're darkworkers.

[Alexjstrandberg]

A healthy mindset I use is not to be better than someone else but to be the best to show what excellence the human race can achieve.

[Apollia]

I think any unethical company deserves to be given a run for its money by ethical competition. I see nothing ethical about letting certain industries be dominated by crooks who don't care about the damage they do to society, the environment, etc., and who care about nothing but their own selfish profit.

In any industry which is hurting tons of people (example: lenders who charge excessively high interest and fees) where there are no good alternatives available, then, I think some ethical, good people should step in and create some good alternatives which will treat the customers well and fairly.

Or, for another example - someone could manufacture an environmentally-friendly version of a certain type of product, thereby placing themselves into competition with manufacturers of environmentally-destructive versions of that product.

I doubt such competition is likely to even harm many unethical companies - I'm guessing the unethical companies would simply adapt themselves to the situation by cleaning up their act to an extent and being a little nicer to their customers, or more environmentally friendly, etc., so they don't keep losing tons of customers to the ethical, fair companies.

So, you wouldn't even have to completely "crush" the unethical competition in order to have a positive, uplifting effect on whatever industry you wanted to raise the ethical standards of.

Best wishes,
Apollia

[Brutha]

I think any unethical company deserves to be given a run for its money by ethical competition. I see nothing ethical about letting certain industries be dominated by crooks who don't care about the damage they do to society, the environment, etc., and who care about nothing but their own selfish profit.

Ethics hasn't anything to do with the issue.

It about unconditional love and the power and integrity that a person who practices unconditional love projects into the world.
You need consitency to reach that level.

Yeah, hmmmm. I was thinking after reading your post that maybe I mixed up being competitive in games (which is where I've mostly experienced this competitiveness and the thrill with it), vs being competitive in the real world with real-world consequences.

You don't have to play games to win.

I personally play go. While there are player to play to win there are also player that play to have a good game.
A go game can be like a dance where both parties interact with each other, do beautiful moves and are in the moment till the game ends.

I takes two people to create a beautiful go game. The game isn't about the end, but each move and each moment becomes a meaningful exchange.

While go might have a bit more inherent beauty than most other games, you can also play other games like that.

[Apollia]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Ethics hasn't anything to do with the issue.

So, lightworkers don't have to be concerned with ethics in order to be lightworkers?

Hmm, maybe I can answer my own question. It's a fictional example, but, I guess Robin Hood (who steals because he believes it's justified since he's stealing from the rich and giving to the poor) might count as a lightworker despite doing something as unethical as stealing, because he thinks it's for the greater good.

The lightworker/darkworker concepts really confuse me, as you can see.

It about unconditional love and the power and integrity that a person who practices unconditional love projects into the world.
You need consitency to reach that level.

Well, I can see how a person full of unconditional love would have a much easier time being ethical, and non-vengeful/merciful to wrongdoers, etc. than someone motivated by anger against injustice/selfishness/etc. So, I do think unconditional love is important.

Best wishes,
Apollia

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Apollia

So, lightworkers don't have to be concerned with ethics in order to be lightworkers?

Well, it's kind of irrelevant - ethics is irrelevant with being a lightworker. Now, ethics is important to dealing with people, and the human race, and that's not to say that a lightworker is unethical. However, being a lightworker isn't about being ethical. Being a lighworker is about this energy flowing out of you - this love energy flowing out of you and guiding your action to contribute and support other people. At least as I understand it.

Thus, my question about competition isn't about ethics.

Hmm, maybe I can answer my own question. It's a fictional example, but, I guess Robin Hood (who steals because he believes it's justified since he's stealing from the rich and giving to the poor) might count as a lightworker despite doing something as unethical as stealing, because he thinks it's for the greater good.

Heh, I have a hard time seeing Robin Hood as a lightworker, but that may be my bias against unethical actions .

Well, I can see how a person full of unconditional love would have a much easier time being ethical, and non-vengeful/merciful to wrongdoers, etc. than someone motivated by anger against injustice/selfishness/etc.

Probably. However, in my case, before deciding to be a lightworker, I've felt I was quite ethical, by my inner standards. (one of the problems I feel with ethics is that sometimes, it's an external standard imposed, not an internal standard that emerges, and thus, what some may see as ethical isn't something I feel is ethical). However, now that I'm aiming to be a lightworker, I can see that some action I previously felt would have been unethical can now be justified and acceptable. Something I'd have completely rejected out of hand before...I find myself thinking if it's for the good of all, it's ok. I realize the possible dangerous slope this line of thinking can go on, so I'm being very careful in how monitoring how I think about this.

So, I do think unconditional love is important.

Originally Posted by Trezker

A lightworker doesn't compete against others, he competes _with_ others. There's are lots of statistics you can compare and be proud about in cooperative work.

Hmmm, yeah, when it comes to a work environment, I am much more comfortable competing against another company, as a "us vs them" then competing with anyone inside the company. I feel in a company, that I'm here to work with everyone else. Yet, I wonder still, if it fits the lightworker mode to compete against another company to beat them...vs competeting in the marketplace in order to produce the best product that can help your customer's life.

Thinking on this, I can come up with a comparison with Steve's new book. Steve's book hit the top 100 books on amazon.com for a little bit. Steve encouraged the book to rank higher by blogging about it, sending a newsletter about it, and he was excited about how high it ranked. In a way, you can see this as competition, he wanted his book to be ranked higher then others. However, my guess is he didn't see it that way, his goal wasn't to beat other authors and other books - his goal and his energy was flowing in a way that he wanted maximum exposure for his book so that the most number of people will be helped. So, it's a completely different energy to compete as Steve did in order to expose a life-changing product to as many people as possible, compared to competing so that you can have the fun of beating someone else.

Hmmm, another example I see is that Steve does compete another way in the pagerank - he aims to have his articles ranked as high as possible in google. However he does this not to beat other sites, but so that his articles get the maximum exposure from searches so they can help as many people as possible.

Originally Posted by Brutha

You don't have to play games to win.

I personally play go. While there are player to play to win there are also player that play to have a good game.

I haven't played go before, but it's true, you don't have to play games to win, you can simply pay for the fun of it. I realize people do that. However, for me, playing a game for the fun of it.....is nowhere as fun as playing a game to win . And I have much more fun getting beat in a very challenging game where I aimed to win....then winning in a game I just play for the fun of it.

[AlexG]

Don't let those two terms define you. They were meant to be as guidelines and help you understand yourself better. As humans we are complex, so you want to be one and not the other or both and then some then be it. Don't let yourself be boxed in.

[StellaBlue]

Originally Posted by AlexG

Don't let those two terms define you. They were meant to be as guidelines and help you understand yourself better. As humans we are complex, so you want to be one and not the other or both and then some then be it. Don't let yourself be boxed in.

I agree, Seeker. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it so much and place such limits on myself. I hate placing people into categories. Be a lightworker. I love the concept and I think that it is wonderful, but why let some one else's beliefs, definitions and ideas define exactly what that means about you? You are not so limited! You are free to explore what being a light worker means to you. If you constantly try to validate all of your actions so that they match a preset definition of a lightworker, you are going to be exhausted!

[Brutha]

Hmm, maybe I can answer my own question. It's a fictional example, but, I guess Robin Hood (who steals because he believes it's justified since he's stealing from the rich and giving to the poor) might count as a lightworker despite doing something as unethical as stealing, because he thinks it's for the greater good.

I don't think that Robin Hood is acting very enlightened. I don't think that he is polarized.

Thinking on this, I can come up with a comparison with Steve's new book. Steve's book hit the top 100 books on amazon.com for a little bit. Steve encouraged the book to rank higher by blogging about it, sending a newsletter about it, and he was excited about how high it ranked. In a way, you can see this as competition, he wanted his book to be ranked higher then others.

If you read the posts in this forum from Steve about his book he has a few personal problems with seeing himself as an successful author, that get reflected in that blog post.
In addition Steve wants to get as many books as possible into the bookshops. Having hit the amazon top 100 allows the Hayhouse people to get more books into bookshops.

I haven't played go before, but it's true, you don't have to play games to win, you can simply pay for the fun of it. I realize people do that.

Playing for beauty is not more fun centered than playing for winning.
Both create meaning and challenge.
If you play for beauty or excellence the challenges isn't only in the end of the game but in every single move.

On example of the difference of those play styles are moves that are intended to provoke the opponent to make mistakes. You don't do those things when you play for beauty or excellence but you sometimes do them when you play to win.

Don't let yourself be boxed in.

That basically means: Don't polarize.
You don't have to polarize, it's a choice that somebody can make that has some advantages (more clarity and integrity) and disadvantages (it's hard).

[seeker5]

Yes of course guys, I don't have to polarize as a lightworker. I know it's a choice, but it's a choice I consciously made 3 months ago or so. I want to live as a lightworker and experience it to the fullest.

It's not about limiting myself too, placing myself in a category and preventing myself from acting a certain way. Rather it's about figuring out how to unleash myself, how to be able to act with the full strength and power of a lightworker.

It's not about letting others put me in a category, or about labeling myself. It's about searching for a way inside of me on how to apply my strenghts and my talent and who I am and be congruent with this lightworker approach, as well be congruent with who I am at my deep core.

[StellaBlue]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Yes of course guys, I don't have to polarize as a lightworker. I know it's a choice, but it's a choice I consciously made 3 months ago or so. I want to live as a lightworker and experience it to the fullest.

It's not about limiting myself too, placing myself in a category and preventing myself from acting a certain way. Rather it's about figuring out how to unleash myself, how to be able to act with the full strength and power of a lightworker.

It's not about letting others put me in a category, or about labeling myself. It's about searching for a way inside of me on how to apply my strenghts and my talent and who I am and be congruent with this lightworker approach, as well be congruent with who I am at my deep core.

I don't mean don't polarize. Do by all means! It just seems like you should find out what that means for yourself because I can't fathom how being a lightworker could possibly be the same exact thing for every person. If it is who you are at your deep core, then if you follow your intuition and what feels right to you, you should be on the right path.

Of course, I could be totally off base, and I might change my mind tomorrow

[coLLege kid07]

Being competitive and a lightworker only conflict because you believe it does. You can still compete and serve the highest good of all. It's the how you compete not really the why.... Just do it cause you want to not cause there's some alterrear motives.

If it makes you feel better the why could be that you want to show everyone a good time by your amazing talent. Or you want to bring some excitment to whatever your event or sport is ect.

Hope that helps.

[Brutha]

It just seems like you should find out what that means for yourself because I can't fathom how being a lightworker could possibly be the same exact thing for every person.

Noncompetion and cooperation is a basic idea of lightworking.
Where you think onenes comes from as a concept? Because there are differences?

If it makes you feel better the why could be that you want to show everyone a good time by your amazing talent.

I don't think that feeling better is the point.
It's not about telling yourself some story to justify your behavior.

Real internal change that increases his consciousness would be a better outcome.

Intending to win over others is at odds with embracing unconditional love everywhere.

In addition you aren't in the moment when you focus on the future point where the game ends either with winning or losing while you play the game.
Being dependent on the end of the game conflicts with being in the moment.

Games have value because you can see the choices you make much more clearly.

[Apollia]

Interesting, thanks for the replies to me, seeker5 and Brutha. Creativity eludes me sometimes, so, I can't really think of much to say in reply.

But, this discussion reminds me of an essay I read a while ago on the topic of free, open source software (which overall seems like a very lightworker sort of concept to me).

It has a section about the difference between competition and combat, which points out some reasons why good-natured competition (where everyone is just trying to do their best and no one is going out of their way to try to hinder anyone else), can be for greater good of all, while combat, in contrast, is for the selfish benefit of a few and is harmful, squanders resources, etc.

Quote from Why Software Should Be Free - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF) :

Is Competition Inevitable?

Is it inevitable that people will try to compete, to surpass their rivals in society? Perhaps it is. But competition itself is not harmful; the harmful thing is combat.

There are many ways to compete. Competition can consist of trying to achieve ever more, to outdo what others have done. For example, in the old days, there was competition among programming wizards—competition for who could make the computer do the most amazing thing, or for who could make the shortest or fastest program for a given task. This kind of competition can benefit everyone, as long as the spirit of good sportsmanship is maintained.

Constructive competition is enough competition to motivate people to great efforts. A number of people are competing to be the first to have visited all the countries on Earth; some even spend fortunes trying to do this. But they do not bribe ship captains to strand their rivals on desert islands. They are content to let the best person win.

Competition becomes combat when the competitors begin trying to impede each other instead of advancing themselves—when “Let the best person win” gives way to “Let me win, best or not.” Proprietary software is harmful, not because it is a form of competition, but because it is a form of combat among the citizens of our society.

Competition in business is not necessarily combat. For example, when two grocery stores compete, their entire effort is to improve their own operations, not to sabotage the rival. But this does not demonstrate a special commitment to business ethics; rather, there is little scope for combat in this line of business short of physical violence. Not all areas of business share this characteristic. Withholding information that could help everyone advance is a form of combat.

Business ideology does not prepare people to resist the temptation to combat the competition. Some forms of combat have been banned with anti-trust laws, truth in advertising laws, and so on, but rather than generalizing this to a principled rejection of combat in general, executives invent other forms of combat which are not specifically prohibited. Society's resources are squandered on the economic equivalent of factional civil war.

Perhaps combat has given competition a bad name.

Best wishes,
Apollia

[evelynlim]

Wouldn't competing be competing against ourselves really? It's about becomming a better and better person, in terms of how we grow as One with the world.

[NDavid]

Hi Seeker 5,

Ask yourself why do you want to beat someone? Is it to prove yourself better than them? To prove to yourself that you are 'worthy'? To better yourself?

Here's a change in perspective that helped me.

The Latin root for the verb "to compete" is "competere", which means "to seek together" or "to strive together".

You could view competition as a means of bringing out the best in others AND yourself, as breaking through performance limits for all concerned. There's nothing inherently selfish or darkworker about competing - it's the motivation behind it. If your motivation is for the sake of win at all costs or to prove yourself better than others, then you'd be hard pressed to do it as a lightworker. But if it's as described above-to better others and yourself, to push human limits etc then that's VERY lightworker biased. In fact many of the top athletes achieve the levels they do because they were competing for their country of for the very pursuit of athletic excellence and the demonstration to all of the wonders of human potential. If you compete with these motives then restraining your potential would actually be counterintuitive to a lightworker.

Hope this helped

[AviMar]

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread - but compete with yourself. Try to one-up yourself all the time. See how long you can concentrate. How many people you can greet nicely each day. How positive you can feel for how long. Compete with yourself

[lifeforce]

Do lightworkers constantly have to justify things to themselves?

It seems like, with the lightworker - it's all about the intentions behind what you do. At the same time they turn around and say darkworking is something you do (evil stuff) and not the intention behid it.

Doubble standard.

[seeker5]

Thanks to everyone for having contributed to this thread. While I haven't yet reached a definitive conclusion about this, I've gotten a lot more clarity into this, and I'm better able to see and understand the subtleties.

I'm going to change my focus away from this to more immediate and urgent things I need to deal with. I'll probably come back to this topic at a later time though, once the more immediate things are dealt with.

Thanks all

[BenThere]

What is your definition of competition?

What if your definition was: "My competition are the people who others confuse as being the same as me, because they don't yet realize how unique I am."

[Brutha]

Do lightworkers constantly have to justify things to themselves?

It's not about justification but about changing and becoming more aware of the choices that are out there.

At the same time they turn around and say darkworking is something you do (evil stuff) and not the intention behid it.

I don't think that this characterises darkworking.
Darkworking is also about intentions.

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by seeker5

I want to become a lightworker.

At the same time, my number one talent that came up during the Strengh Finders test...was competitivenes. I do love competitive events, and I can get really fired up and motivated at the thought of beating someone else in a very worthwhile enterprise, especially if the event is so challenging, I know I have to put my entire being into that competition to be able to win. I also don't like competiting when I know I'll easily beat the other person.

I've heard Steve mention that a lightworker does not compete against other people - does not see life as a competition, as we are all one, and a lightworker's goal is to help others.

So, how do I reconcile the two?

I highly advise you drop all notions of "tool polarisation" and adopt a mindset of "tool neutrality." What I mean by that is that no inherant method, talent theme, body of knowledge, or tool is inherantly polarised a certain way, just like a knife isn't evil and can be a useful tool or a devistating weapon--or a helpful weapon to protect yourself!

I advise you start looking at polarity in the essence behind what you're doing. Are you aligned with love, or fear? Literally feel your way through it--intellectualising it won't help much, since we're dealing with energy here. Ultimately, I don't think polarity is an inherent universal, but it is at least a useful label and you will see people who are decidedly "darkworker" types or "unpolarised" but with leanings to a certain polarity.

It's super hard to explain this, though, since it's very abstract and I can't tailor my responses to you using my all-important individualisation talent. You're probably analytical enough to understand, though.

(FYI, few people seem to really understand polarity. I think they spend too much time trying to understand what Steve writes, instead of looking to the essential concepts Steve is describing. Over a period of months, eventually I ended up with some sort of holistic understanding of polarity that just "worked." I "got it", and while I still suck at applying it--that's a whole other issue--I can at least consistently apply the principles if I want to. It's just a matter of whether I do or not, fear being an issue there.)

Now that we've got that out of the way...

I frequently use my talents in a selfish way, largely because I believe so strongly that doing the opposite would diminish my contribution. You could call it "enlightened selfishness." People will have you believe that selfishness is just selfishness, but I've been exposed to those people enough now to see that they're mostly trying to maintain a level of being that is comfortable to them, not see you enjoy wild success and the contribution you desire to make.

You can compete with somebody with love, just like I can ruthlessly triage someone (to satisfy my achiever and activator talent themes) with love. Yes, it takes practice and will likely require a new way of doing things that you've never done before. This is indeed the essence of polarity: not many people are truly committed to the commitment. You can't "become" a lightworker, but you can "be" a lightworker. You either are or are not a lightworker in the moment.

[justfiverules]

On Page 109 of Tim Gallwey's classic book, "The Inner Game of Tennis", he writes very movingly how he arrived "... at the startling conclusion that true competition is identical with true cooperation."

The crux of his argument is that "In true competition no person is defeated" because the other person's actions provide obstacles for you to overcome.

Played in such a spirit both "sides" can win.