criminal background checks for being a parent volunteer - need advice

[ns123]

Hello all,

Everyone here has always been so helpful for me to resolve issues - either by my posting a question, or either by some one else posting a question similar to what I'm going through.

Here is my situation:

I want to volunteer at my son's school. I have a very strong feeling that working with children is what my purpose is. So to gain experience and to also "give back" I have decided to volunteer quite regularly at my child's school. I find that the more I'm around children the more at peace I feel and the more I see myself becoming the kind of parent and person I want to be.

My child's school wants to do a background check on me. And here's my problem:

1. a background check is not just a criminal background check. It also allows them information to my educational records, my financial records, my employment history, as well as criminal records.

2. who will see the results of this check? How will they safeguard this information?

So, before anyone brings up the what-do-you-have-to-hide argument...
I have no criminal record. I have nothing to hide.

The problem I have with this is privacy. It is not right they have all this information on me, when I don't have this information on them. Basically my argument is: I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

I would gladly consent for anyone seeing my information so long as I can see theirs too. After all, the argument that is used to make sure that I'm safe around kids can be applied to make sure that they are safe around my own child.

And after all, if they can see my credit history and how much money I make, well, I should be able to see theirs right? What's good for them to request of me should be good for me to request of them, right?

Whatever reasons they come up with for me to grant them privacy for their equivalent information, would be the same reason why I would like for them grant me the same privacy.

So, what do I do? Should I bring this up? How do I bring it up without having them think that I actually do have something to hide (which I don't). It's a question of principle.

Please help.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Do you know for sure that the check they intend to do is all-encompassing?

It seems odd that they'd need to know much other than your criminal background, particularly if you are a volunteer.

If they are working at the school, they've had the same or harsher background check done on them. That doesn't mean that you are priviledged to the details of that information - only to know that they passed which is evidenced by them working there (I would hope!). And I am sure that these don't get passed around. It's probable that the only person who would see the details would be the principal and maybe his/her secretary (I don't think schools have dedicated HR people, but I don't know for sure).

I guess I'm wondering why it would be a big deal? Other than asking them how they maintain your privacy (who will see it and how will it be safeguarded after the fact) I don't see any issue.

[ns123]

I don't know if the check they are doing is this all encompassing, as the form I fill out is very generic saying "background check" only. In looking into the definition of a background check, it can be this all encompassing, depending on the agency doing it.

I would not mind if the background check came back saying "safe for children" or "not safe for children." I would mind if it listed all that I described.

I don't even tell my parents how much money I make or how much I have. The best judge of character, in my book, is how people treat you when they don't know you have money.

If the people who will see mine will show me theirs, well, I'll be glad to show them mine. If they have issues with showing me theirs, well, those reasons are my same reasons.

I don't mind if some lackey whom I'll never meet sees: Mrs. John Smith, makes 200K a year, has zero debt, no criminal record, safe for children.

But I do mind if my child's teacher sees, oh, John Jr's mom makes 200K a year! She doesn't need to know. She just needs to know as a volunteer I'm not a danger to children.

[Holistic Star]

Where are you based?

In the UK I'm pretty sure that the background check for working with children only checks for criminal convictions. However I don't know about other countries.

[Brutha]

Just tell that you are willing to share the information that you no criminal record but that you aren't willing to share the other information.
Then it's their turn to decide whether they want you or don't.

[ns123]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Just tell that you are willing to share the information that you no criminal record but that you aren't willing to share the other information.
Then it's their turn to decide whether they want you or don't.

I am afraid bringing up an objection to the background check (like my education, employment, financials) will label me a "trouble maker" and change how they see me or how they see my child.

Those of us that rock the boat always get scars. I'd rather not have my child scarred for my principles.

[Brutha]

I am afraid bringing up an objection to the background check (like my education, employment, financials) will label me a "trouble maker" and change how they see me or how they see my child.

That probably depends on your presentation. I have the feeling that there is something that is important on this issue that you are describing at the moment.
What are really your internal problems with the background check?
What kind of school are we talking about? How old is the child?

Being seen as someone who isn't worth to go into a conflict with has also good side when you deal with teachers.

[LoA Life]

I have been burnt by these "background checks" before, so I feel your pain.
I am not a bad person either, but I did do some stupid things in my youth that are still haunting me today.

Unfortunately, from what I hear these days anybody can pay $50 online and get most of that information without you knowing it. A former employer of mine did it using a basic subscription to Lexis Nexis. I did not get fired, but after knowing that several people in my office knew of my past, I eventually left the company on my own.

My recommendation is if you don't feel comfortable with strangers knowing details about your past, don't authorize the background check. Find another way to pursue your passion of working with children.

[ellie]

I just got one in Aus because I want to work with children too. On mine it only states that I have no prior criminal records, that's all it says.

[ns123]

Originally Posted by Brutha

I have the feeling that there is something that is important on this issue that you are describing at the moment.
What are really your internal problems with the background check?
What kind of school are we talking about? How old is the child?

Actually, there is nothing "more" to the story here. I am 100% confident the criminal background check will turn up "no results found." I have never even been in trouble. Ever. I really don't have anything to hide because I don't have anything in my background that I'm not proud of.

The difference is, just because I'm proud of something, doesn't mean I'm going to go around telling everyone about it either.

I think my internal problems is, I don't want people knowing how much money I make. I don't want people knowing how much money I have. I don't know how to explain why this is important to me.

I may choose later reveal the quantity of my wealth in conversation if you become my friend. But that's different when you are my friend. Having someone whom I don't feel a deep personal connection with knowing financial about me, well, it just feels invasive.

I don't know how to ask about this without being seen as "you must have something to hide." Maybe I'm just a coward and would rather not volunteer than to stand up for my privacy rights.

[Brutha]

Why do you think that someone would see you as troublemaker?
Why do you self identify like this?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by ns123

Those of us that rock the boat always get scars. I'd rather not have my child scarred for my principles.

So you'd rather him/her see that when up against an obstacle, your principles go by the wayside?

I bet that sounds pretty mean, but I don't intend it that way at all.

In this situation, based on what you've said, I would go in to speak to whoever is in charge of background checks and say:

I am very interested in being a volunteer. I understand you preform background checks and I am glad to know that you do so. I'd like some more information about what the background check entails. (Wait for their answer). I'm happy to have a criminal background run, but I prefer to keep my education, salary, work history, etc private. Is it possible?

Something along those lines. I understand in a way your desire for privacy, but at the same time I feel that people probably care very little about it. And, as I said before, I doubt anyone but the person performing the check would see it anyway. I am pretty sure it would be illegal to pass it around to teachers, etc.

[Honeywith4bees]

I work in a school in the US and we are mandated by the state and by our insurance company to conduct background checks on all faculty, staff and volunteers for the safety of our children as well as our selves. We only check for criminal history and by law only one person has access to the results. The person who is having the CORI done, has rights to see their own results. I know the system has flaws, but I personally am glad that it is in place.

[ns123]

Thank you everyone for all your replies. It has helped me quite a bit in dealing with this issue. I think I will do what aspiring_to_clarity suggests. That is an excellent idea.

As for the issue of rocking the boat and being seen as a troublemaker. Well, this has been my past experience. I have scars from it. People who want to dominate and control do not appreciate it when you question their dominance.

I know I should not let the past define my future, but there it is. I am working on this. As I've said before in other threads, sometimes, we see the path before us, we know what path we want to take, but staying on that path has its own challenges. Especially when we see those around get "ahead" by not living their life with integrity. Sometimes, my commitment to principles wavers, but those are issues that I have to work out and get past.

Everyone here has been incredibly helpful and your words have really eased my fears and helped me work through some issues internally. Thank you very much.

[Brutha]

I know I should not let the past define my future, but there it is.

That why I asked what's there?

If you actually believe the thing {aspiring_to_clarity} wrote and approach the situation like that, you probably wouldn't be marked as troublemaker.
If you on the other hand frame the issue in your mind as conflict the way you did in the opening post, maybe because of your scars, other people pick up on the way you see the situation.
That could lead to trouble.

[ns123]

Originally Posted by Brutha

If you on the other hand frame the issue in your mind as conflict the way you did in the opening post, maybe because of your scars, other people pick up on the way you see the situation.
That could lead to trouble.

You've just totally hit the nail on the head. In my past experience request for more information has been met with conflict. Why do you want to know? What do you have to hide? What is your real issue with this?

You've pinpointed the root of my problem there. When I don't just conform, do what's asked quietly, like a good little follower, I always see that as a conflict because that has been my past conditioning. Just do as you'er told, we know better than you. You don't know anything. It is cultural - the way I was brought up.

You are right. People respond to us the way we see them respond. How we see things internally defines our whole reality. Thank you, I think you've given me a lot to think about.

In case I haven't said before, yall rock.