30-Day-Trial of Darkworking. Join Me!!!

[ProjectX]

This is very exciting for me for starting on this project. Not only is it my first serious 30 day trial, its one where it isn't physical but also strongly interlinked deeply philosophical, spiritually and emotionally. The issue of polarity has been bugging the hell out of me that I have to try this and decide who I am.
For the next 30 days i will do this and may start a blog. I will keep you updated regularly in this thread or on my blog. I invite others to join me as I am really interested see others try it out and blog their daily events and mind-set. After the 30 days I will view the results and take a break for two weeks in which I will return to a neutral mindset. After I will go on the 30 day trial for light working in which I will start another thread.

Ultimately I will compare the two polarities and decide. But if I like neither I will choose a different path.

Thus the next 30 days my personal mission statement will be "Love Thyself".

I want to state what my beliefs of a darkworker are and lightworker since I need a defined characteristic to follow.
There are two really good articles on darkworking that I enjoyed and learned a lot from;

What is a Darkworker?
the great darkworker experiment by Gail

I prefer the term inner-worker for dark worker and outer-worker for light worker.

First of all I don't like the metaphor that inner-workers view themselves as God, as such a mindset is only that of a megalomaniac.
For me when I'm in inner working mode my mindset is that of a majestic feeling and loyalty, like that of a Soldier. The crucial difference is the only oath I have is to myself.
"I am the nation" is my rule. The outer worker would say "I serve the nation".
When I do something to improve my self being, it is through the ultimate expression of self love, respect and loyalty. Failure to help myself is the ultimate form of disgrace and betrayal.

Inner-workers look inwards to seek the divine and inspiration. Outer-workers act on the contrary.
Inner-workers are individual minded and I believe use the left brain more often, whilst the outer worker are more collective minded and use the right side of the brain. That is just the way I see it.

Inner workers can use joy, fear or whatever as long as it suits their personal agenda. But ultimately both inner and outer workers are extremely courageous and resilient.

This will be really challenging yet very fun experience.
Whenever I feel depressed or very down, I usually go into this state of light worker mode which gives me joy and energy. I know I Can no longer do that, but I can try to see as How I will affect the world. Also I will help others out as long as I don't lose out on something important.
I will have to fight my way of thinking and the years of social conditioning I've received and become extremely ambitious.

So those who interested in doing the 30 day darkworker trial, post your experience. Preferably on your own blog.

[Remiel]

To be honest I find the idea of polarity a bit odd. I walk the path of both. I serve others to serve myself and I serve myself to serve others. Its ironic that I refer to the yin yang symbol and yet I do believe it has some elements of truth to it. Both are necessary and both are unique. Its in the unmelded vision of the darkwalker and lightwalker combined that we find the wholeness of this concept.

At the heart of it I suppose I would still be a lightwalker. Yet... If my life is a cup of water then I can only give till I run out of water. If I take until I personally overflow and do not share back what I received then I waste that water and drain others. So I choose to give out as much as I receive. I keep my cup full and share back the excess with others.

So why go to one extreme or the other? I see all of this as one giant circle with the directions of North, East, South, West. We all start mixed and a blur at the West side. To the North you find the lightwalker syndrome. To the South, the darkwalker syndrome. To the East is the perfect blend of giving and receiving. The road down the path that is neither north nor south is a difficult road to be sure. And yet I believe that by walking east and adjusting my give and take as I learn will be a better, more wholesome path than the one that heads for northeast (lightwalker syndrome) first and then southeast to reach due east and the one that heads for southeast (darkwalker syndrome) first and then northeast to reach due east.

[ProjectX]

Originally Posted by Remiel

To be honest I find the idea of polarity a bit odd. I walk the path of both. I serve others to serve myself and I serve myself to serve others. Its ironic that I refer to the yin yang symbol and yet I do believe it has some elements of truth to it. Both are necessary and both are unique. Its in the unmelded vision of the darkwalker and lightwalker combined that we find the wholeness of this concept.

At the heart of it I suppose I would still be a lightwalker. Yet... If my life is a cup of water then I can only give till I run out of water. If I take until I personally overflow and do not share back what I received then I waste that water and drain others. So I choose to give out as much as I receive. I keep my cup full and share back the excess with others.

So why go to one extreme or the other? I see all of this as one giant circle with the directions of North, East, South, West. We all start mixed and a blur at the West side. To the North you find the lightwalker syndrome. To the South, the darkwalker syndrome. To the East is the perfect blend of giving and receiving. The road down the path that is neither north nor south is a difficult road to be sure. And yet I believe that by walking east and adjusting my give and take as I learn will be a better, more wholesome path than the one that heads for northeast (lightwalker syndrome) first and then southeast to reach due east and the one that heads for southeast (darkwalker syndrome) first and then northeast to reach due east.

You're totally right. I believe darkworking is more suited for people who are at a disadvantage and need to catch up and put their lives on track which is me in this case.

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

You're totally right. I believe darkworking is more suited for people who are at a disadvantage and need to catch up and put their lives on track which is me in this case.

Thats cool. To me the whole darkwalker, lightwalker thing misses some key elements. I can't quite put my finger on what but it seems like its over simplifying things. That or its merging ideas and because of that its part true and part not.

Think of it this way. What if the fear based living is one aspect of being a darkwalker. Now strip away the fear based living from the darkwalker, replace it with a love based living, and still serve yourself. To me it seems like it isn't possible within the realm of polarity. Yet to me this has value because if I can't love myself can I truely love others? So by learning to love myself I can then have the freedom to love others.

Again to me the whole polarity thing misses the mark slightly. So I'd challenge you to try living in a mindset of love while walking your darkwalker path. I don't know if it'll work but I would think its better than walking in a fear based mode of a full darkwalker as steve paints it.

Let me attempt to paint a picture of what I'm talking about. So you live life for yourself. If you do anything its got to benefit you. Now add in the love aspect from the lightwalker. Instead of serving yourself selfishly and using fear to get what you want. Get what you want within the context of the love based living. If it benefits you AND benefits others then great. If it only benefits you thats fine too so long as you aren't trampling on others to do it.


I look forward to continue to hear how your journey goes.

[CroMagna]

You say you will still help others...what's in it for you? Doesn't sound like a darkworker to me.

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

You say you will still help others...what's in it for you? Doesn't sound like a darkworker to me.

Heh I'm definately not a dark walker and at the same time I don't see myself as a lightwalker either. At the same time I'm not one of the people who have not chosen. I have simply chosen to walk the middle path. I'm probably more lightwalker due to being love based. At the same time I see value in the darkwalker traits of meeting my needs. So rather than be unchosen I choose to walk the middle path to the best of my ability. It may be a harder road than chosing polarity yet I see the end goal as being the same. Lets view my life as a cup with water (life) in it. If I'm too far lightwalker then my cup will be slowly draining. If I'm too far dalkwalker my cup will be slowly filling. The further to one side or the other that I am the faster my cup fills or drains. So instead of walking to one side or the other I choose to walk the middle path.

As I see it the more I fill others the more they can fill me. The more I fill me the more I can fill others. And because of this I chose to walk the center path.

In addition my purpose is to raise up the greatness in others. To me this means I must become great myself and I must encourage and help others to see their own greatness.

[ProjectX]

Originally Posted by Remiel

Thats cool. To me the whole darkwalker, lightwalker thing misses some key elements. I can't quite put my finger on what but it seems like its over simplifying things. That or its merging ideas and because of that its part true and part not.

Think of it this way. What if the fear based living is one aspect of being a darkwalker. Now strip away the fear based living from the darkwalker, replace it with a love based living, and still serve yourself. To me it seems like it isn't possible within the realm of polarity. Yet to me this has value because if I can't love myself can I truely love others? So by learning to love myself I can then have the freedom to love others.

Again to me the whole polarity thing misses the mark slightly. So I'd challenge you to try living in a mindset of love while walking your darkwalker path. I don't know if it'll work but I would think its better than walking in a fear based mode of a full darkwalker as steve paints it.

Let me attempt to paint a picture of what I'm talking about. So you live life for yourself. If you do anything its got to benefit you. Now add in the love aspect from the lightwalker. Instead of serving yourself selfishly and using fear to get what you want. Get what you want within the context of the love based living. If it benefits you AND benefits others then great. If it only benefits you thats fine too so long as you aren't trampling on others to do it.


I look forward to continue to hear how your journey goes.

Yes, I don't believe dark workers are fear based.
The way I see it a "good" darkworker shows his appreciation for life by helping himself and giving himself treats.
A lightworker would show appreciation for life through giving to others and giving them treats.


Again you are right. I don't think polarization should be very long term. Help yourself and when you are abundant share it with others like you said like a cup being filled with water.

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

Yes, I don't believe dark workers are fear based.
The way I see it a "good" darkworker shows his appreciation for life by helping himself and giving himself treats.
A lightworker would show appreciation for life through giving to others and giving them treats.


Again you are right. I don't think polarization should be very long term. Help yourself and when you are abundant share it with others like you said like a cup being filled with water.

The whole concept of polarization from steve means that a darkwalker who is completely polarized will be operating in a fear based world. Causing fear and creating it to get what he wants (think mafiaa bosses). Thus why I think instead of a polarization it should be more of a yin yang type of thing. Not blended but two halves equally united. Mind you I'm a christian and I'm not refering to the religion here. Just the concept embodied by the yin yang symbol. Two opposite sides both present without blending.

[alexb5784]

This could be just me, but I would not want to try being a darkworker for 30 days. You'll be operating from the "Screw you...it's about me right now" state of mind. Sure you might make some money or do something that will create temporary success, but it won't last long.

When I think about being a darkworker the idea of getting ahead at any expense comes to my mind. I believe that if you could get stuck on the fast results of being a darkworker and you'll create some emotional damage.

That's my 2cents.

[Digit]

Originally Posted by Remiel

Thats cool. To me the whole darkwalker, lightwalker thing misses some key elements. I can't quite put my finger on what but it seems like its over simplifying things. That or its merging ideas and because of that its part true and part not.
....[and so on]....

oh i'm glad i'm not the only one who sees past the oversimplification.

anytime i come across an oversimplification it usually strikes me as not just being oversimplified but oversimplified to the point that it's just plain erroneous!

i made a post on this forum in which i think i expressed my view on the whole lightworker/darkworker thing pretty well.
*goes to dig it up out of my 9 posts so far. hehe*

http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/c...tml#post204982


how about this...

love everyone, including yourself.
love yourself, and recognise that everyone else is ultimately an extension of "the self".

and be free to hate those aspects that don't meet with your high standards if that so be the emotions you need to express, just so long as you remember that's just the aspect you hate, not the being.

i'm sure Mo was all over this.

if only i had the time to say more. hehe... gotta dash.

[ProjectX]

Hey thanks guys. I'm still thinking about this alot and I'm also reading the 7 habits of highly effective people which is influencing how my thought process alot right now.
I guess its all in the name of self-discovery.

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by Digit

[/i]

oh i'm glad i'm not the only one who sees past the oversimplification.

anytime i come across an oversimplification it usually strikes me as not just being oversimplified but oversimplified to the point that it's just plain erroneous!

i made a post on this forum in which i think i expressed my view on the whole lightworker/darkworker thing pretty well.
*goes to dig it up out of my 9 posts so far. hehe*

http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/c...tml#post204982


how about this...

love everyone, including yourself.
love yourself, and recognise that everyone else is ultimately an extension of "the self".

and be free to hate those aspects that don't meet with your high standards if that so be the emotions you need to express, just so long as you remember that's just the aspect you hate, not the being.

i'm sure Mo was all over this.

if only i had the time to say more. hehe... gotta dash.

Heh well I'm one of the ones who don't buy into the whole extension of "the self". I also find that hatred really doesn't produce anything good. Anger can be a good emotion but I don't see hatred leading to anything positive by itself.


ProjectX: I'd recommend getting "Strengths Finder 2.0". I found that while the 7 habits were good I think he's coming from a standpoint where empathy is one of his talents. Which is why it works so well for him.

That does lead to an interesting question of whether we can create talents within ourselves but I'm inclined to say no. I also do not have the talent of empathy so while the concepts can be good I don't think I'm going to ever achieve the same level of success as the 7 habits author had.

[lifeforce]

I hate loosing. I detest it. So I win. As a powerlifter, it drives me to set new personal records all the time. Try to psyche your self up for a max deadlift of 465 lbs using creativity, joy, love and compassion... just doesnt work. Anger, aggression and confidence in your power is whats needed. You feel powerful and extremely good!

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by lifeforce

I hate loosing. I detest it. So I win. As a powerlifter, it drives me to set new personal records all the time. Try to psyche your self up for a max deadlift of 465 lbs using creativity, joy, love and compassion... just doesnt work. Anger, aggression and confidence in your power is whats needed. You feel powerful and extremely good!

If you say so. I think you could lift 465 lbs with pure addrenaline and the drive to win but I'm not really a powerlifter .

Are you trying to say that there is some things you have to be a darkwalker to do?

[konmai]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

You're totally right. I believe darkworking is more suited for people who are at a disadvantage and need to catch up and put their lives on track which is me in this case.

exactly what i was thinking right now.

[Kingston]

Originally Posted by lifeforce

Try to psyche your self up for a max deadlift of 465 lbs using creativity, joy, love and compassion... just doesnt work. Anger, aggression and confidence in your power is whats needed. You feel powerful and extremely good!

Exactly!

Being muscular and in tune with my body made a huge difference in my sex appeal (I got a lot of comments about it from girlfriends). But this 'power' can be used for 'good' and 'evil'. You can use power to help or to hurt. It is the situation that decides which one is best, not some universal choice, in my humble present opinion.

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by Digit

[/i]

oh i'm glad i'm not the only one who sees past the oversimplification.

To me this lightworker-darkworker and polarity differentiation if taken to extremes reminds me of the old Christian saying that men can't ever be angels. Neither good nor bad.

What this means to me is: You can strife for either extreme if you choose to, but you will never ever be the pure embodiment of one element or polarity all the time.

Now as to this strife for extremes, how about this: Both polarities naturally exist and come to play in any human being. That might not be the case in other spirit entities, like angels if you believe in them.

If the Universe wants a single-polarity creature- like an angel or whatever- it gives birth to exactly that. In creating a creature with both polarities I'd thus naturally assume it isn't going for single-polarity and extremes.

Why then do people assume it's a human's job to choose one over the other permanently and strife for an extreme?

Wouldn't it be a more likely assumption that a human's job -being an entity given two polarities/energies- is to use both and maybe find a way to merge them in beauty and balance?

[ProjectX]

So its day 3 of July.
All I can say is this darkworker mentality has lifted my self-esteem. I no longer care what others think, even about me. Of course I still have some faults. But i feel more empowered.
I believe a successful darkworker is one who uses prudence.

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

So its day 3 of July.
All I can say is this darkworker mentality has lifted my self-esteem. I no longer care what others think, even about me. Of course I still have some faults. But i feel more empowered.
I believe a successful darkworker is one who uses prudence.

Heh well as someone who is either a lightwalker or neither I can tell you I don't care about what other people think of me. Even what I think of me is more a who I am now and not who my core is.

So what sorts of things are you doing differently? You said not caring about what others think of you (a good thing in my opinion) but what actions do you take that are different?

[lifeforce]

Originally Posted by Remiel

Heh well as someone who is either a lightwalker or neither I can tell you I don't care about what other people think of me. Even what I think of me is more a who I am now and not who my core is.

So what sorts of things are you doing differently? You said not caring about what others think of you (a good thing in my opinion) but what actions do you take that are different?

If you don't have conciouss controll and understanding over the ego, you are not a lightworker. Your not a darkworker either. Because without understanding and controll of the ego, you are controlled by it.

To feel the best, a darkworker pretty much aim to build his ego and beliefs up to the point where he sees himself as inhuman - even godlike. The ego has many trappings wich is why he should understand the ego. When the ego is big enough, there is a danger of looking at everything as disposable like a number on a paper. That includes people, animals and the environment. At this point there is a danger of loosing his humanity. Therefor, he should know and understand that he controlls the ego so that the ego doesn't controll him and makes him do bad things. Because the ego doesn't care weather it's suffering or feeling good. It just needs an identity. A darkworker rises in conchioussness by accepting that the ego is part of him and steer it's growth to a positive direction of empowering it instead of letting it totally dominate him like it does with unpolarized people. A good start is echart tolles a new earth wich I am reading now. Its good. I'm reading it in one sitting. Worth each digit on the balance sheet. It's a lightworker mentality, but when you "get it" you see how it an e applied to darkworkers aswell by understanding the nature of the ego so you can gain controll over it.

This is my oppinion for the time being. We'll see how it changes as I change and read and grow.

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by lifeforce

If you don't have conciouss controll and understanding over the ego, you are not a lightworker. Your not a darkworker either. Because without understanding and controll of the ego, you are controlled by it.

To feel the best, a darkworker pretty much aim to build his ego and beliefs up to the point where he sees himself as inhuman - even godlike. The ego has many trappings wich is why he should understand the ego. When the ego is big enough, there is a danger of looking at everything as disposable like a number on a paper. That includes people, animals and the environment. At this point there is a danger of loosing his humanity. Therefor, he should know and understand that he controlls the ego so that the ego doesn't controll him and makes him do bad things. Because the ego doesn't care weather it's suffering or feeling good. It just needs an identity. A darkworker rises in conchioussness by accepting that the ego is part of him and steer it's growth to a positive direction of empowering it instead of letting it totally dominate him like it does with unpolarized people. A good start is echart tolles a new earth wich I am reading now. Its good. I'm reading it in one sitting. Worth each digit on the balance sheet. It's a lightworker mentality, but when you "get it" you see how it an e applied to darkworkers aswell by understanding the nature of the ego so you can gain controll over it.

This is my oppinion for the time being. We'll see how it changes as I change and read and grow.

Half the problem is the definition of lightwalkers and darkwalkers is something that doesn't have a clear cut definition. Even after reading steve's blogs on the matter as I see it there are things in both that are good and the perfect result of both of them is to do them both. The problem is each one has a trap (the syndrome he talked about) about it.

For myself I live life consciously and do work to understand and control the ego. Actually I work to make ego a non-issue. I know who I am and my identity isn't threatened by anything. Nothing outside of me can change my identity and nothing internally can change my identity. All I seek to do is to take that internal identity and become it externally.

So anyhow I'm not an unconscious worker who is simply both mixed together into a stew. I'm a conscientious worker who chooses to walk the middle ground. Taking the best parts of both lightwalkers and darkwalkers.

[Kingston]

Originally Posted by Remiel

Taking the best parts of both lightwalkers and darkwalkers.

FYI: you accidentally misread 'worker' for 'walker'... So it's 'lightWORKer'

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by Kingston

FYI: you accidentally misread 'worker' for 'walker'... So it's 'lightWORKer'

Doh!

Though I think walker is a bit more appropriate because its a path we walk rather than a job or a profession we take up .

[ProjectX]

Originally Posted by lifeforce

If you don't have conciouss controll and understanding over the ego, you are not a lightworker. Your not a darkworker either. Because without understanding and controll of the ego, you are controlled by it.

To feel the best, a darkworker pretty much aim to build his ego and beliefs up to the point where he sees himself as inhuman - even godlike.

I think that is an overstatement. Darkworkers are highly conscious people and understand their role in the universe. Having an overblown ego can be seen as a downfall.

[lifeforce]

Alot of lightworkers here are actually darkworkers. That is because they are still pretty much bound by the ego. "I" feel good. Giving makes "me" feel good. "I am a lightworker" - wich gives the ego a lable. The ego creeps in the back door alot of times. They just change their egos focus from being intelectual to being spiritual. The ego also sees things as seperated (lightworkers and darkworkers) so they can see themselves as right and others as wrong. If there is no ego, you'd see everything as oneness.

[Ecce Homo]

Originally Posted by lifeforce

Alot of lightworkers here are actually darkworkers. That is because they are still pretty much bound by the ego. "I" feel good. Giving makes "me" feel good. "I am a lightworker" - wich gives the ego a lable. The ego creeps in the back door alot of times. They just change their egos focus from being intelectual to being spiritual. The ego also sees things as seperated (lightworkers and darkworkers) so they can see themselves as right and others as wrong. If there is no ego, you'd see everything as oneness.

All of that depends on how you define ego. If everything is one, and it is, that must surely include the ever dreaded ego. Why should ego then be relegated to sneaking in the back door as it were?

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by Ecce Homo

All of that depends on how you define ego. If everything is one, and it is, that must surely include the ever dreaded ego. Why should ego then be relegated to sneaking in the back door as it were?

As I see it we have ego for a reason. When we understand the purpose of ego and how to use it wisely then we profit. If we don't we are either controlled by it or are shooting ourselves in the foot by not using something that makes up who we are.

[Zwynd]

Originally Posted by Remiel

As I see it we have ego for a reason. When we understand the purpose of ego and how to use it wisely then we profit. If we don't we are either controlled by it or are shooting ourselves in the foot by not using something that makes up who we are.

How do you know the person who is using "I" on the forums isn't using it for simplicity's sake? Many suggested 'Lightworkers' spoke in simple parables/examples to teach.

I'd say saying "I" is a heck of a lot easier than going, "The me that is not me who shall be called I to keep things simple is the being before you that is speaking so that your limited 3D brain can comprehend the meaning within the words..." /brainwrack

[Remiel]

Originally Posted by Zwynd

How do you know the person who is using "I" on the forums isn't using it for simplicity's sake? Many suggested 'Lightworkers' spoke in simple parables/examples to teach.

I'd say saying "I" is a heck of a lot easier than going, "The me that is not me who shall be called I to keep things simple is the being before you that is speaking so that your limited 3D brain can comprehend the meaning within the words..." /brainwrack

ok I'm more than just a little bit lost. I'm not quite sure what you are saying there.

As far as using I on the forums goes. I use I because I'm talking about me, myself and I. In fact I use I alot more often because instead of saying "You should do XYZ" and telling them what they should do I share "I would do XYZ" and by doing that I share what I find useful. Now I don't always succeed there. It works better for me than saying you should though.

Anyhow like I said I don't think ego is bad or evil or unneeded. Its there for a purpose and I believe I will be stronger for it when I can master it.

[Zwynd]

I'm referring to the thing in/of us that isn't in an actual body. You can call it spirit/soul/higher being, whatever. That "I" isn't technically an "I" if it is possibly one with everything, right?

Sometimes when people refer to their 'higher selves' they think of them as a floating spirit over their own body and say "I" as in THE "I" of themselves. So they may use "I" in that way. That is where I was responding to what Lifeforce and you were discussing. Ie, saying "I" may just be easier.

I don't think I can explain this better.

As for the "you should" crap... I too believe it is best to be avoided while "I have" gives off a better, teaching feeling. People hate "you should"s as it comes off as very pushy. And people hate being told what to do. It's like it's born in us to resist anything we can. That drive is also what got us here today as beings however.