What do I do w/ my life???

[25AndJustBeginning]

I don't feel like I have a life. I don't feel very fulfilled & rarely have things that I want to do. I do what I need to but I'm not happy. I don't know what to do.

In the moment I try to do the right thing & I do what I need to at my job but I think of others and their paths through life and envy them because they seem to have it all figured out and have things that they actually want to do.

When asked what I want I get baffled. I really don't know how to answer that question. I orient myself (or live my life, I guess) according to other people and go w/ it. By liking something I associate it to somebody else that likes it too.

Any feedback or suggestions??

[evrgrn3]

Greetings,

First and foremost, I truly believe that we all have moments where we feel like the ship has sailed awry. Even those that appear focused and steady with direction live with anticipation and personal challenge.

It is kind of like a duck which glides gracefully upon the surface of the water appearing effortless and at peace. As you are probably aware, underneath the water that ducks little feet are going like crazy :-)

What keeps the duck in balance -- simplicity, end goal, and truth to values. A duck does not deviate from what is most important to it. As humans we are infinitely more complex, but I believe the premise stands true for us too. if we stay simple, understand our goals, and live with integrity to our core values life will seem more focused.

So, if I may be so bold, I would suggest 3 steps:

1. Simplify your life...try to focus on what is most important to you.
2. Understand what your goals are...what do you want to accomplish.
3. Create, develop, and understand your personal core values.

Actually, I believe the 3rd one is the most important...if you have and live by your core values, the other two will become more clear.

You know, just be like a duck..

Leo

[silicon toad2000]

volunteer to help a charitable organisation until you can figure out what you want.
Importantly while you're doing it learn as much as you can.

[Jim11]

I've been there.

My best advice is to force yourself to break your current routines and try new things. You know you don't like what you're doing right now, so change it up.

Read books in different fields, try new sports and activities (charitable organization was a good tip), try and meet new people.

On a night where you'd typically sit at home and live inside your head contemplating your situation, instead force yourself to do something out of the ordinary

It often seems that people can be apathetic when they don't have many good friends, especially ones they can relate to. There are good people out there, they just need to be found.

[Jarrod]

Maybe try thinking a little different, try logical coming up with an answer to the question of 'what is the best thing I could do with my life?'

Also take the time to read steve's series on meaning of life.

[ZHereford]

Hi 25AndJustBeginning,

It's time to do some soul-searching and self-discovery. It will take some work and introspection but we all have to go through it sooner or later. We have to determine who we are, what we want and how to go about it. I write about this extensively so have a look at the links.

All the best to you, because although it's a deliberate process, it's also a lot of fun!

[25AndJustBeginning]

Originally Posted by Jim11

There are good people out there, they just need to be found.

Often I'm judgmental of people in social situation, I think. I'm fully capable of getting along w/ people but I question everything I do, every little thought, eye movement, bit of body language that it's not enjoyable. I've been working on this lately but haven't made any serious breakthroughs. What do I need to do to enjoy people?? That's what I really want: to not be suspicious and enjoy them.

[25AndJustBeginning]

Originally Posted by evrgrn3

1. Simplify your life...try to focus on what is most important to you.
2. Understand what your goals are...what do you want to accomplish.
3. Create, develop, and understand your personal core values.

I'll try these things & hopefully they'll help me stop floundering around. That's what I feel like, that I'm just getting through life & not really enjoying it.

[25AndJustBeginning]

I'm so restless and lost. I don't know what to do about it. Does anybody think that doing the suggested things will help with these feelings?

[Jarrod]

Originally Posted by 25AndJustBeginning

I'm so restless and lost. I don't know what to do about it. Does anybody think that doing the suggested things will help with these feelings?

YES

The most important thing is to do something, after trying that you will know if that works, then try something else.

The advice so far has between a variety of short term and long term activities.

Short-term
- Find meaning of your life (through the articles listed and questions to ponder)
- Define your values
- Understand your goals

Long-term
- Work for charity
- Try new activities
- Simplify your life

There is no point in doubting if these will help you or not. The only choice you have is to take one and try it out full on. The you will know.

The short term ones can be done in a few hours. So pick one and set aside a couple of hours. The next day try another one.

The long term ones you should pick one and try it out for 30 days. Don't doubt it, try it.

Life is about doing and discovering, not wondering. Don't let your thoughts stop you.

Good luck

[rak]

Make your life to become valueble and becoming valueble has a two kind of way's to do it it is to "seek" or you make it. If you have time to read my post about You dont find it, you make it its about on the way of "making" your way.