Decision to step-out-of-college

[anamoly]

Imagine if you were in college right now. Instead of focusing on living your life fully each moment, you were focused on becoming something great - something that you already are, in essence. However, you didn't know you were "great," and thought that you had to become a lawyer to be great. Well, this is the idea that I have allowed myself to be conditioned with for most of my life. I think now is the only time, as ever to break this insane condition that has caused me stress, suffering and complacency.

Here is what I want to do
I want to focus on pursuing academic studies on my own - such as getting a basic foundation in Calculus, Math, etc - without a grade riding on it that may create a future stumbling block in the path of life. I can honestly say, although I may be able to pump out good grades and be good at test taking - retaining information is a whole different ball game and I need to learn new skills to be able to properly structure and link together information in my mind (a great book I'm currently reading and doing exercises from is called: The Memory Book: A Guide to Improving your Memory in School, Work and Play by Harry LoRayne) before I am ready to return to the University.

I realize that the University has courses aimed at helping students develop this, but courses are structured in such a way where there is always an emphasis on time and completing tests. Although I completely understand the need for an objective grading portion - the large emphasis on grades as a means (which is most of the students and parents attitude) to an end gives rise to the "I'll do anything to get a decent grade in order to get to the next step," and that attitude dampens the enjoyment process. It is my humble opinion that this is also why so many students cheat. While these students may be called dishonest, it's important to understand there is so much pressure on the student to succeed. I believe this insane focus on succeeding in our society is inherently insane and dangerous at its very core and even a large cause of suicides. How many times have you read of an unfortunate boy killing himself because he failed some exam in China? The McDonald's worker has the potential to lessen suffering if he works from the essence of his soul, just as a doctor has the ability to heal patients. It is not what you do that matters, but in the state of core essence which it flows out from. Is it from a humble state of awareness and alertness where what's necessary is born into the world? Or is it from a state of self-created anxiety from misinterperting the present moment as means to an end?

Now - how do we break this pattern of focusing on success? Is there something inherently wrong with the college system? I think college's are extremely useful in producing students who accept the challenges and face the reality of the situation. They also can awaken one to a true purpose they may have aside from being in college at this very moment. They are also great avenues to broaden one's horizons and offer immense opportunities in a warm wave of an ever-evolving society. The institution itself is not dysfunctional, but the pressure and false belief that the institution is the one and only place your child can be free or successful is. An A or C or a decision to drop the whole thing all together may be the necessary step he has to take in order to fulfill a greater purpose. Success paradoxically comes from being able to embrace failures and not run from them - to welcome them in the same way you welcome success.

[Cran]

And what is wrong with success? But of course, success is not "objective", you'll have to define it your yourself. But in college, nobody forces you to take part in cheating and that success-mindset you describe. YOU decide you cannot study without taking part in it, not college. YOU put that pressure on yourself by buying into this mindset (this sentence is probably invalid, but I hope the meaning is clear). Why should a bad grade in a voluntar math course be a stumbling stone for your future? I think you're not completely honest with yourself here.

And how are you going to earn a living? It is usus that most jobs for un- or lowqualified people get less pay than others jobs, that equals more working time, leaving less time for your personal goals. Realistically, you'd probably have more time for such things as getting basic skills in math while at college than in a low-paid job.

[Taikin]

I agree with anamoly's ideals and Cran's pragmatism. The key is probably not to reject the system, at least not for the goal of excelling at anything, but to function well in it whilst being well aware of it being just a system, a means to an end.

I feel that way about university - I do think it's ideologically sound, it just doesn't necessarily function in a practical way that meets its virtues - and that's probably more to do with the students than it is to do with flaws in the system.
I'm okay with that because I'm here to grow - and pointless lectures, fluff-filled seminars and clumsy testing systems don't really impede me on that ground. It offers lots of opportunities, academic and otherwise, and those opportunities make university worth the time.

[anamoly]

Originally Posted by Cran

And what is wrong with success? But of course, success is not "objective", you'll have to define it your yourself. But in college, nobody forces you to take part in cheating and that success-mindset you describe. YOU decide you cannot study without taking part in it, not college. YOU put that pressure on yourself by buying into this mindset (this sentence is probably invalid, but I hope the meaning is clear). Why should a bad grade in a voluntar math course be a stumbling stone for your future? I think you're not completely honest with yourself here.

And how are you going to earn a living? It is usus that most jobs for un- or lowqualified people get less pay than others jobs, that equals more working time, leaving less time for your personal goals. Realistically, you'd probably have more time for such things as getting basic skills in math while at college than in a low-paid job.

I totally agree: The institution itself is not dysfunctional, but the pressure and false belief that the institution is the one and only place your child can be free or successful is.

Anyway, as far as making a living - I am fortunate to run a company at the moment that makes ~100,000/year before taxes. It doesn't have to be a stumbling block, as you are saying - but colleges often don't leave much avenues for improving your grade and if your goal is to go to medical school - then your grades have to be top-notch. Of course, this is why students aiming for such a goal should take the proper avenues within the system to ensure that they indeed succeed.

And absolutely nothing is wrong with success, my rant was merely about the view that success is all there is - which is something that caused much suffering for me for practically my whole life until I started examining my thoughts, rather than simply believing them to be who I am.

Please note, I am not attacking the institution - and as stated - I think college works well for some people - here's something that I wrote:

The word education may bring different feelings to everyone. For some it may be a period of intense joy and self-discovery, where through the process of learning one may become closer to his true reality. For others it may be a fearful experience of utmost dread, where such beliefs may enter the unconscious ego: "One day - this will all be over." Which best describes your relationship to education? Once we bring the focus of awareness onto anything - it will dissolve miraculously and quickly. So, if you find yourself with a fearful relationship to education - that's okay. Luckily, that's all that is false within you - and once you take the small step of acknowledging awareness - you will take realize that true education, true purpose, true love comes not from what you are doing, but from the loving tenderness that flows into what you are doing. Eckhart Tolle likes to call it presence, but it really is just a sense of alert awareness of present-moment joy.

I simply want to take one year off to develop basic working habits and receive a better foundation in mathematics and other sciences. In high school, I was mostly studying to pass tests and developed great test-taking strategies but not memory strategies. I recently just started learning about Link, chaining and etc through "The Memory Book," which Steve recommends and for me - these skills are essential in order to function well in the institution.