Is It Alright to Have Fun?

[SchoolisHard]

I'm basing this off of this article I wrote a week ago.

If there are so many people suffering on this Earth, how can I, someone who strives to be a selfless, kind, and caring person, permit myself to use the vast majority of my time and resources for my own development and leisure?

I’m still searching for the answer to this. What is the proper balance, if any? We’re all in this together - what are we supposed to do?

[Holistic Star]

Hi School is Hard.

I'm sick. Please would you make me better by getting sick yourself?

[jimo]

If there are so many people suffering on this Earth, how can I, someone who strives to be a selfless, kind, and caring person, permit myself to use the vast majority of my time and resources for my own development and leisure?

Yeah, you have to ask yourself. How does my "having fun" contribute to their suffering or make it worse?

Also ask yourself, does my "being sad or feeling sorry for them" help them in any way, and then you'll have your answers.

[SchoolisHard]

I never implied that i WANT to just sit around and feel immense pity for people. My implication is that I don't know how to cope with the fact that I know that I could always do better.

My search is for the BALANCE between being extremely altruistic and regularly enjoying myself.

Is it better to spend 30 years practicing music to make a few people who can afford tickets smile or spend that time on the ground, where you are needed most, helping bring in crops and re-building homes ravaged by natural disasters?

Does anybody understand what I am actually saying?

I'm sick. Please would you make me better by getting sick yourself?

No, but perhaps instead of goofing off for an hour I could bring you some soup and ask you how you are feeling. Make sense?

Also ask yourself, does my "being sad or feeling sorry for them" help them in any way, and then you'll have your answers.

No, it doesn't. I want to get PAST the point of feeling sorry for these people and actually help them as much as I can. What I am trying to figure out is how you can give your maximum effort to help others while still having any time for yourself.

I know I am not superman and I don't think I'd want to be, but this is a very real struggle.

[Taikin]

I wrote an article on something to similar to this a few weeks ago:

The Self-Discipline Myth - Reaching A Better Place

The conclusion is that, yes, it is alright to have fun - but there's a bit more to it than that, of course :P

[Dan.Linehan]

Contribute through your career.

[DayInTheLife]

Originally Posted by SchoolisHard

No, it doesn't. I want to get PAST the point of feeling sorry for these people and actually help them as much as I can. What I am trying to figure out is how you can give your maximum effort to help others while still having any time for yourself.

Honestly, I think the best thing you can do for people who are suffering is to be a happy person.

Living a life you truly enjoy will help more people than you can imagine. Being uneasy and fearful will hurt more people than you can imagine.

If you are truly happy, it will spread to everyone you meet. Make all the music you want. Have fun. Be generous and kind to everybody, for no apparent reason. There is nothing more helpful you can do, IMO.

[kpugh]

That kind of guilt is really common. I feel it especially strongly when I've been complaining about something and really letting it get to me, then I inevitably hear about someone who's got it much worse than me. That guilt is a bear...it works the other way too. When I'm having fun, or working towards my own selfish goals (like doing 50 marathons in 50 states), I can also feel guilty for all the other things I could be doing with that time and energy for the greater good.

So, how do I reconcile that? I don't really have a strategy, but what my track record suggests is that I move back and forth between the altruistic end of the continuum to the selfish, or self-important end. For example, after a "binge" of marathons, I'll hunker down to get some home-improvement projects done for my family's benefit. Maybe that's the balance others on here have mentioned, but for me, it's not quite so intentional. It's more like paying back one end when I've realized I'm already out of balance.

[sheffy4]

Can you find something that makes you happy and also helps people? I get the idea that you feel you will only help enough if you are a Super-Philanthropist, but keep in mind that if you try to help too many people, nobody will benefit from your full attention.

Also, have you ever heard the phrase "Leave something better than you found it"? It's often used when you are borrowing something, or using a room, like if you use somebody else's kitchen to cook something, perhaps leave it a little cleaner than you found it. You could apply this to everything, as long as you just stick to the "little" part and don't overwhelm yourself. That way, you are improving the world wherever you go.
If you see a glum-looking person in the grocery store, give them a little compliment and smile.
If you see a newspaper blowing around on the sidewalk, take a minute to pick it up and recycle it.
Open the door for a stranger.
Write a thank you note to somebody who helped you.

Good luck with your generous ambitions.

[Ree]

You have a wonderful loving attitude

You need to find balance. In order to have anything to give you must first take care of yourself. Imagine if you became that incredible musician you spoke of and crowds paid excellent money for tickets to hear you play! Imagine you do this 44 weeks out of the year.... that leaves 8 weeks. You could spend 2 or 4 of those leftover 8 weeks at a spa, or a mountain retreat, or an island getaway and recharge your batteries. Then spend the final extra weeks in a place you are needed, helping to build homes or bring in the crops, or take a short course to learn be a medical assistant for Doctors without Borders. If you prepare and put yourself in this kind of position, you could have the freedom to do so much.

Have you read any of Steve's material on darkworkers/lightworkers? You may find that helpful.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by SchoolisHard

Is it better to spend 30 years practicing music to make a few people who can afford tickets smile or spend that time on the ground, where you are needed most, helping bring in crops and re-building homes ravaged by natural disasters?

That question seems to imply that your contribution of art to the world is worthless in comparison to your potential contribution of physical labor.

Or that you feeling good is not as important as other people feeling good. That joy in your life is not as important as the survival of a child on the other side of the planet. Who is to say where you are needed most? Who is to say that bringing in crops and rebuilding homes is more important than fighting fires or doing peace work or digging wells or or or or or.

Well, I think you know the answer to that question, "Who is to say?"

Don't you think that stoking your own well-being, creativity and joy is necessary food for you to be the best possible contributor of all the blessings you have to bestow upon the rest of us? You could be an ascetic, yes, and dedicate your enter life to the betterment of others, denying your own desires, but this tends to age people rather quickly. So that is depriving the world, too!

Fun, don't knock it.

[m18pak]

SchoolisHard, I understand exactly what you mean, and I have asked myself the very questions that you yourself struggle with now.

What made things clear for me in the end was my realization of how there is more to life than meets the eye, and that life is not so simple.

I don't know what your beliefs are, but you must know that there are things in life that you're meant to do, and things that you're not meant to do.

If you truly want to help others, the best thing you can do is to do the thing that you alone can do, the thing you were born to do.

But you won't be able to do it until you're ready; you won't be able to run your race until you're prepared.

The key is balance. You must accept that you yourself can do only so much, because you're meant to do only so much. Don't try to take the world on your shoulders.

Do what you feel inspired to do. Trust your intuition when you ask yourself what the highest potential of your life is.

[The Cloud]

Why are the needs of others more important than your own?

[Jennihul]

Originally Posted by SchoolisHard

I'm basing this off of this article I wrote a week ago.

If there are so many people suffering on this Earth, how can I, someone who strives to be a selfless, kind, and caring person, permit myself to use the vast majority of my time and resources for my own development and leisure?

Thinking this way is a neurosis. 'Selfless' is a neurosis because it negates the importance of self.

There are caring and kind people all over this planet who would never commit the sin of negating their 'self.' And it is a sin.

There is a harmony and a balance and it has nothing to do with sacrificing self in the process.


Jennifer

[Little Deb]

I am a Canadian, but I am well aware that in the American Constitution there is a right known as The Pursuit of Happiness. In other words, it is each individual's right to find one's own joy, whether through prosperity, good health, etc. the skys the limit. (With out infringing on the safety of others, which goes without mention.) I keep reminding myself no matter how many people suffer, I have a right to be happy. I too am an artist and musician. I work at a Dairy Queen to survive, however, but my art and music which I pursue on the side, brings joy to others, aleviating their suffering. If you are so concerned about helping the less fortunate, becoming a missionary is an option. You can both travel to third world countries, play your music, teach your art, and help with the crops in those villages. Unfortunately, this line of work is not for those are used to three meals a day, clean water, and decent health care. It is also frought with political/cultural difficulties and dangers. In the meantime, there are plenty of old folks homes, mental hospitals, etc. where you can volunteer your entertainment. Besides, who says that you are "born with a certain gift" in the first place? I am turning 44, and I have yet to discover and learn new skills. Through my joy, I help others find theirs.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Little Deb

Through my joy, I help others find theirs.

I love that Little Deb. When you generate joy, it's not just for yourself; it's for everyone.