How should I be like?

[Shorebird]

Hi folks,

We all have certain attributes which we know are not liked by others. And someone said that "the key to failure is to make everyone happy".

So you have two options:

EITHER

You think about yourself, be true to yourself and never be bogged down by what others think/say about you.

OR

You think about yourself, be true to yourself and give a thought to what others say or think to check if its really your mistake. Then you correct yourself to become a better person. Note that even if you are true to yourself, some people will make you feel that you need to correct yourself for something.

But the question arises for the second option - If you are really true to yourself, why will you change yourself listening to others?

So what kind of outlook should we keep regarding this?

[iambrian]

Hi,

interesting post. Quick questions: What do you mean when you say 'be true to yourself?' And why is it important?

Am asking because insights maybe found in the answer(s) to the questions.


Cheers!

brian

[GoingPrimal]

You should definitely strive to live the second example out. Be yourself and give thought to what others say. They may be right. They may be wrong. But it gives you the opportunity to grow.

"If you are really true to yourself, why will you change yourself listening to others?"

Because this allows you the chance to listen to feedback, make an assessment, and grow. You'll either grow by knowing that you don't need to change and therefore strengthen who you are, or you'll grow because you realize you DO need to change, and you're (wo)man enough to accomplish this.

[Buddy]

If you go into a room of 200 people, you'll have 200 reputations. That's too much. Other people's opinion of me is none of my business.
"To thine ownself be true."

[ticktockclok]

No matter what you do or how you act, some people will like you and some people will dislike you. It makes no sense to try to play up to some people to get them to like you. Acting like that is hard to maintain. This doesn't mean you should just "be yourself". Instead, become your best self.

[Parthon]

I say be true to your values. "Yourself" isn't enough of a guide, as it changes from day to day and there's more to yourself that what first appears. While your values may shift from one set to another the actual values themselves are deeply rooted in timeless principles and it's these values and principles that help a person grow.

However, some people can be very helpful with insight and wisdom as you try and be true to what's important to you. When you filter what people say through your own values and pick out the gems you can see things for yourself that you wouldn't see otherwise.

Finally: not all advice is good advice. See if it takes you towards or away from your values and act on it or discard it as you see fit. What works for one person is not guaranteed to work for another.