Developing Your Masculinity

[GoingPrimal]

Whats up folks?

Let me preface this by saying I'm 18 and am but a seedling in terms of being a man.

Some thoughts I've been mulling over and would love to here your opinions on include:

What are your thoughts on masculinity?

On being a man?

What do you think are manly attributes?

How does one develop masculinity?

What do you think is the role of men in todays society?

Who have you men looked up to in terms of male role models? Any who weren't your dad?

A fascinating subject, I think, and one in which I have relatively little experience in. Thoughts appreciated!

[Power]

Manly attributes....

Confidence and Integrity.

A man needs to be confident in every area of his life. Confident in himself aswell at the same time knowing his own limitations. He knows that his potential is limitless, but he takes a step back to refine himself when he understands that he is imperfect... And to only achieve his true potential is to address his fears, his weakness, brush aside the limiting hurdles of life and continually work on himself to be a better person.

A man needs to have his Integrity. No matter what type of temptations lays before him, he will stand by for what is right. His definition of righteousness is simply treating others how he likes to be treated, with dignity and respect. He is not swayed and misdirected because of the core personal value he possess. No crowd, group or society will dictate his behaviour because he understands that often enough the crowd is not always right.

He develops these 2 gifts through experience and life. He understand that you can live a whole lifetime and not learn, and that you can learn the true meaning of life in a matter of a heart beat. Developing himself, he adopts the habit of a passionate learner. He absorbs and submerge himself with as much knowledge he can get before coming to a verdict of his own beliefs, his own decisions and his own values.

The role of men in today's society should be no different since the beginning of time. They are the architect, the developer, creator and provider. Today's society is different from back in the early ages. The role of men in today's society should also be versatile, flexible and adaptive. They are the hunters but they also must possess the characteristics of the nurturers. Fearless, but at the same time, compassionate... a warrior, but at the same time, diplomatic,... a fighter, but at the same time, a lover.

Buddha, Jesus, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Lincoln, Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King... Superman & Spiderman

[GoingPrimal]

Power, nice man. Thanks a lot.

[Kingston]

Integrity is the thing indeed.

In addition:

Being a man is about getting things done. Your confidence derives from your ability to pay the bills and support yourself and others, to be of value in an economic, social and emotional sense. In most cultures you are a worthy man when you production exceeds your consumption, meaning that you support others, and no one needs to support you.

You develop this masculinity by living in a no-nonsense way. Take on the problems / challenges before you, and make it happen. Sometimes you fail, but that is OK.

This poem by Rudyard Kipling says it all. I am not a man yet according to this definition, but most are not. We have to aspire, though.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling

[Ninja]

My parents told me there is no such thing as masculinity or femininity: only humanity.

[GoingPrimal]

I like that poem Ninja. Your last quote is refreshing too. Thanks for the reply man.

[dream23]

great advice so far, I'm only 23 myself but the 3 people i've always admired are Jesus, MLK, Ghandi.

I think that when you look at Mahatma Ghandi in particular he shows how physical strength falls well short against strength of compassion.

I only emphasise Ghandhi cos unfortunately never knew Jesus, from what i hear he was a fine fellow

[Nicketas]

Originally Posted by GoingPrimal

Whats up folks?

Let me preface this by saying I'm 18 and am but a seedling in terms of being a man.

Some thoughts I've been mulling over and would love to here your opinions on include:

What are your thoughts on masculinity?

On being a man?

What do you think are manly attributes?

How does one develop masculinity?

What do you think is the role of men in todays society?

Who have you men looked up to in terms of male role models? Any who weren't your dad?

A fascinating subject, I think, and one in which I have relatively little experience in. Thoughts appreciated!

Rather than showing you how to rewire a room to get light, Here's the light switch...

Dr. Paul's Audio and Video Programs

Plenty of Great resources all centered around the topic of "Being A Real Man", a lot of which is free, by a psychiatrist who has spent 15 years researching, studying and teaching men of all ages how to grow superb levels of masculinity. It's good stuff!!

I like his omega male program a lot because in it he takes popular male film heroes and breaks down all of the traits that makes them so awesome, then teaches you how to develop them.

Personally i've found his visual maps of masculine instinct and emotional consciousness to be quite useful.

I hope this helps!

[Plato]

I watched some uber long video a few years ago of Dr Paul with David DeAngelo. It was good, but his voice sent me to sleep.

But Real Social Dynamics Nation - Powered by vBulletin is what you want.

[Nicketas]

Originally Posted by Plato

I watched some uber long video a few years ago of Dr Paul with David DeAngelo. It was good, but his voice sent me to sleep.

But Real Social Dynamics Nation - Powered by vBulletin is what you want.

Great entertainment

Pickup artists do not teach masculinity unless they steal it from someone else

Stay conscious

[Plato]

Haha, well I'm not saying RSD are original or not, but the ideas in the Blueprint De-coded are fantastic. And I do know they don't like being called PUA's- that crown of thorns is reserved for TheMysteryMethod and VenusianArts.

[evrgrn3]

Being a man...

What are your thoughts on masculinity? That it is a combination of traits that lead to a perception of being. It is a stereotype dictated by society. Stereotype is sometimes good, more often bad -- and masculinity has been tortured for a very long time.

On being a man? Once we begin to define what a "man" is, we begin to define what a man is not...and I do not think we should limit ourselves :-)

What do you think are manly attributes? Depends on the man.

How does one develop masculinity? By creating a self-expectation and then living life meeting it.

What do you think is the role of men in todays society? To help in removing expectations for men in society, and roles for women in society, and working to create roles for all within society, for the betterment of all people.

Who have you men looked up to in terms of male role models? Any who weren't your dad? There are many men I have grown to respect and feel are role models, but then again, I often see my son as a role model -- I do not think we should ever limit this to age or elders.

[dezzo]

These are fantastic questions. I've personally been working on this for a few years now, and the more I learn the more I find that I do not know. I'll try to answer them as best as I can.

*What are your thoughts on masculinity?*
Masculinity means answering the following question:
-What do I have to do, or what do I have to become, so that when I die, I can die COMPLETE, with a smile on my face, knowing that I have given everything that I have had to give.

Obviously you can't answer this overnight, but spend time on it. You will have to shed all the layers of social conditioning.

*On being a man?*
Sam Keen summarizes this nicely:
"There are two questions you ask in life; where am I going and who's going with me. Don't get them in the wrong order"

*What do you think are manly attributes?*
-Knowing what you are response-able for
-Knowing what you are response-able to
-Integrity to purpose
-Absorbing what is useful, rejecting what is useless.
-Spiritual Warrior
-Unconditional Self-Confidence
-Wisdom
-Teacher
-Flexibility, don't be rigid.
-Relaxation
-Knowing and synergizing your strengths
-Action
-Simplicity
-A synergy of courage and consideration.
-Inner silence
-Not just knowing your purpose, but having the feeling in every cell of your body.

*How does one develop masculinity?*
-Become aware of your death
-Ask yourself constantly "Who am I? What am I?"
-Work on your self-actualization

*What do you think is the role of men in todays society?*
-You don't have a "role". You don't need to "save" society either. Just get the most out of life, self-actualize. Don't put too much meaning into wealth, fame, and success. If you want to start a business then make sure your passions and strengths match with what people value. Otherwise just play! Be cool, relax, be chill :P hehe

*Who have you men looked up to in terms of male role models? Any who weren't your dad?*
-I've had a few role models, Bruce Lee was a real inspiration for me, but I keep returning back to the crucial fact that there's only ONE man you need to look up to, and that's YOU

Here's a poem, which I love, that summarizes everything pretty well:

Warrior's Creed

I have no parents: I make the heavens and Earth my parents.
I have no home: I make awareness my home.
I have no life or death: I make the tides of breathing my life and death.
I have no divine power: I make honesty my divine power.
I have no means: I make understanding my means.
I have no magic secrets: I make character my magic secret.
I have no body: I make endurance my body.

I have no eyes: I make the flash of lightning my eyes.
I have no ears: I make sensibility my ears.
I have no limbs: I make promptness my limbs.
I have no strategy: I make "unshadowed by thought" my strategy.
I have no design: I make "seizing opportunity by the forelock" my design.
I have no miracles: I make right action my miracles.
I have no principles: I make adaptability to all circumstances my principles.

I have no tactics: I make emptiness and fullness my tactics.
I have no talents: I make ready wit my talent.
I have no friends: I make my mind my friend.
I have no enemy: I make carelessness my enemy.
I have no armor: I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.
I have no castle: I make immovable mind my castle.
I have no sword: I make absence of mind my sword.


--Anonymous Samurai; 14th century

You can take responsibilty for your life Imagine everyone you know, both whom you love and whom you hate, and imagine they were all gone... you totally had to be independent physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually... how would you live your life?

I hope that helps.

Den.

[ogrekilleat]

I think it's interesting that all the traits people mention are in no way "masculine" as opposed to "feminine"--I'd like to know who thinks women should not be confident and demonstrate integrity.

I agree with Ninja, and I think all this emphasis on masculinity and femininity's a bit weird. If a person focuses on being a good human, one's gender will be no less evident than if one focuses on being manly or womanly, and I suspect the person who focuses on being a good human will be a much richer and more interesting human than the one who focuses on being manly.

[silicon toad2000]

When I think about figures who seem to be to be the essence of a man figures such as John Wayne in the cowboy flicks, Vito Corleone in the Godfather films. I was thinking of a good litmus test and thought of happy days, Fonzie strikes me as a man, Howard Cunningham also, but not richie cunningham. I think to me the essence of being a man is someone who has completed the journey from boyhood, rather than someone who is not feminine. I think the points most people have raised correspond with this.

[growingintoyou]

I think you step into manhood when you are able to get away from your parents and live on your own. It's about responsibility and being able to take care of yourself.

[dezzo]

Originally Posted by ogrekilleat

I think it's interesting that all the traits people mention are in no way "masculine" as opposed to "feminine"--I'd like to know who thinks women should not be confident and demonstrate integrity.

"Masculine" doesn't mean "men", just as "feminine" doesn't mean "women"...all people have both masculine and feminine traits...

It just depends on which trait you want to act from.

[GoingPrimal]

Nicketas - I checked out Dr. Paul's site and it seems pretty good. Signed up for the newsletter and I actually had some of his books on backorder from amazon.com. Thanks for the input.

Plato - I check out the RSD blog frequently. Good stuff and if I had the money I'd pick up The Blueprint. Thanks for the link to RSD nation, I haven't been there yet.

Dezzo - Awesome response man. I'm actually in the middle of reading Fire in the Belly by Sam Keen. That quote is one to be remembered. Thanks.

Ogrekilleat - Don't get me wrong, I definitely focus on being a better human being, not just a better man. I hear you though, a lot of people get too caught up with the details instead of looking at the bigger picture. But lets face it - while women ARE attracted to people who are good human beings, they are SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to MASCULINITY. Its good to hear someone look at the bigger picture tho.

Everyone else - thanks for the points you brought up. Over and out.

[ogrekilleat]

ohhhh, I thought you wanted to develop your character; now I see you're trying to pick up chicks.

[dezzo]

Looooooooool

[GoingPrimal]

Originally Posted by ogrekilleat

ohhhh, I thought you wanted to develop your character; now I see you're trying to pick up chicks.

Indeed

[Fullcrum]

The Blueprint Decoded is the way to go.

It's awesome. Incredible. I feel like a different person after watching it once. And I've seen it twice. 220 hrs of TOTAL MIND-BLOWING REALITY MELTDOWN!

I really can't describe it that well, I'm in awe. But if you want to understand masculine polarity, its source, how to get it and maintain it; all that good stuff - get the Blueprint Decoded. Man, deep.

The quick version of masculinity: It is the force that draws others to you. It stems from the clean and natural good feeling within your body and is the grounding force amidst the chaos of reality. It's centered. Centered in the moment, not in "ideas" or "concepts".

[Plato]

Originally Posted by ogrekilleat

ohhhh, I thought you wanted to develop your character; now I see you're trying to pick up chicks.

Oh... is that not worthy of your approval? Oh dear. Guys, seeking to improve our relationships with women is a bad thing ok! Stop what you're doing right now! And somebody get in touch with RSD and let them know about this. Gosh. They aren't going to be pleased.