I've been on the wrong course for 4 years :(

[Flash1988]

Right now it seems I don't have any real direction in my life. I'm 20 in 6 months, living at home with my parents (UK).

I have a vague idea which is to grow, teach and inspire others. I'd like to have a big positive impact on the world.

I've been doing a computer course for 4 years and feel as if I'm getting no where. I don't know why I got into it, I thought web design would be a good idea. I don't want to do that now.

My sleep is off track, I woke up at 4 pm today when I should have gone to college. I tried to sleep.

Here's my daily routine:
Sleep > Wake up > Computer > Food > Sleep

Sometimes I go to the gym. That is costing me £36 a month.

I have no proper income at the moment. I'm relying on Christmas money which is weak. I go out and party on the weekends with a couple of friends. That money will soon run out.

Here's some of my interests:

• Self-Improvement
• Psychology
• Writing / Blogging
• Philosophy
• Photography
• Partying

I have NO IDEA how I can start earning a decent amount of money for the time being.

I want a part time job or something yet I've only sent 1 application off.

My high school grades were bad, I don't remember them nor can I find out what they are and I have no experience in the job world.

I can't see myself being happy working with computers if somehow I passed anyway. I have no real motivation to work with computers, I don't think other parts of my life will shape out well either by working with them.

I have certificates which is good. I do not have a CLUE what they actually mean though. There's so much jargon it's ridiculous. Entry, Foundation, GCSEs, NVQS, O/A Levels, two of these are equal to that, there's several different courses which are all similar to themselves, WTF!?

I'm so stuck at the moment. I really need someone to guide me somehow so I can help myself out. It's annoying because teachers parents and friends have certain expectations on me and I have my own yet I have no direction so people try giving me direction but they're view is bias because of the position they're in anyway.

[Flash1988]

I'm going to college tomorrow but still not completely sure about the whole thing.

Comments, ideas and advice is greatly appreciated.

[LesGawn]

Firstly, if you followed something that has held your interest for as long as four years, it was not entirely wrong.

It is not uncommon, towards the end of a focussed activity, to get feelings of 'was it all worthwhile?'

At the age of 26 I returned to college for a 3-year degree and at the end of it realised that I would have been much more stimulated doing another subject to that level.

You must not bash yourself over the head because you are having second thoughts, but try and complete the process. You will almost certainly feel better for it later.

As far as money goes, that is tricky - but again just try and get through these next few months.

No chance of earning a few pounds doing some sites for people? It would at least put some monetary value to what you have been learning and might make you feel a little less disenchanted.

You are welcome to post correspondence through the forum or PM me more detail if it would help to 'talk'. I have spent my life not sure quite who I am or where I'm headed - so you are certainly not alone - and if I can put some of my experience to good use by helping you feel a bit better about yourself - good!

Take Care - and all the Best

[Flash1988]

Hey LesGawn thanks for your response.

I think the thing that kept me on the course was the good friends and people I met there. I never had any idea what I wanted to do so I just did this because I had a computer from a young age and I'm always on it. Maybe this has been some kind of excuse to not get a job.

I get stuck in routine. When I wanna try something new, I stop when I hit a plateau. I want things to be perfect. I always see how things could be much simpler. Like how come certain people understand the whole grading A/O GCSE etc thing and others don't (me)? People explain it and I feel like they've told me 1% of what they know -- it's what I asked for but I know there's tons more to it.

Anyway, I'm trying to fill my CV out and I'm going to try and speak to my college tutor or see if he can direct me to someone who deals with this kind of thing. I wish I got more work experience when I was younger.

Just wondering.. I did voluntary work for a gaming website for a couple of years (I was a manager), can I include that on my C.V or something? It doesn't seem the kind of thing to include though.

Big thanks for your support man.

Any other ideas suggestions etc are welcome!

[LesGawn]

Work experience can help, but it is not everything.

The fact that you have followed an interest and taken it into further study is a positive thing and sure, put the voluntary work on the CV.

There are all sorts of organisations who should be able to provide advice and support in your circumstance - your college tutor should certainly be able to point you in the right direction - or what about Careers Advice in the college? They can be very uncool - but you may hit lucky and find someone who really listens to you.

Keep in touch, anyway.

All the Best

Leslie

[Meg]

Try your department of labor. They offer free resources and training. I hate to recommend fast food as a job, but you do learn a lot of skills there regarding the work place and a work environment. Try applying at a fast food place for the first job.

Do work-study at college. FInd out more about that at your financial aid office.

Try setting up a to-do list every day. Wake up earlier. Break your computer addiction. Go outside.

[Flash1988]

Hey thanks for your responses.

I decided to go in to college yesterday (I stayed up, didn't sleep) but spoke to my college tutor. He gave me some booklet on doing my CV, I'm gonna bring my certificates in and he'll go through what they actually mean.

This has helped. He spoke to me about my access grant and if I improve my attendance I'll be able to get my money. He recommended I stay on and finish the course as there's not that much time left.

Thanks all

[Jeanne]

hi...

I can relate to what you're going through... and so can many many other people. Having no direction is a common thing at different stages in your life -- been there done that!

You are making good headway in coming here... it's a great place to get support and guidance.

Just wondering... do you keep a journal? I recommend it to everyone... it's a great way to get clarity on your thinking... and subsequently on your direction in life.

But yeah... you do need to work with someone you relate to. It's not always easy to do it on your own. It's different if you've got something that you really want to do and you keep on that course... but when you don't, that's when you need to work with someone. And I'm not talking expensive someone either!

By the way... nothing you learn is a waste of time. Everything you learn in life is useful -- and I am thinking about what you said about making an impact in the world... your computer skills are going to make that possible! You are streets ahead of many others.

You do have a very special place in this world... the gifts you give of just being you is incredibly special. Sometimes it takes us a while to realise that!

Best wishes
Jeanne

[Flash1988]

Wow Jeanne, great response

I don't keep a specific journal but I do write important things down about what I'm learning and how I've improved. I do write a lot and work on important areas of my life. Lately I've been taking on useful habits like reading 2 hours a day, gotten through a bit of a great book and I am going to finish it no matter what. I love setting goals and stuff.

[andrew]

I kind of had a mini-epiphany while writing this, so bare with me. I was writing about how I'm 20, and have my own little business doing web design and programming, but still missing something. Kind of like you, except it started as a hobby for me, and I enjoy it.

So basically, I realized, that even though I liked it, I was good at it, it paid good etc, I still felt like something was missing. I think I figured it out, and hope it helps you to find what kind of course or path you should take. Also remember, not many 18 year olds start their own business, or even know what they want to do with their life. I know the pressure is there to know right now, but it's better to find the right thing than force the wrong thing.

Here's what I think I found out, what you need to have for a life career, or pretty much any goal for that matter:

-value (does this provide others or my self any possible value?)
-passion (am I passionate about this?)
-fun (will this be fun, or can I make this fun or enjoyable?)
-meaningful (does this have any meaning to me or my purpose?)
-stimulating (does this challenge or excite me in any way?)
-skill (do I have the skills to do this successfully? if not, am I willing to obtain them?)

I found that developing the current things I do, prove all of those (besides fun once in a while) EXCEPT meaning. The program I made is cool and all, but it doesn't have meaningful value in the fact that it'll impact people's lives. I mean it's a great product and will save people time, but I don't feel it has much of an impact on people's lives as I need.

Take music for example. It fulfills the meaningful part for me, but isn't providing enough value to sustain a living off of it. Albeit that could be due in part of my lack of high level of skill, but I digress.

I know this may be a bit off topic, and I apologize, but I had a moment if you will, and needed to write it out. But I do hope it helps, those are good questions to ask yourself.

[Flash1988]

Interesting Andrew.

I could see myself designing websites it's just that I have no clue how to start because of lack of experience. Would you tell me a bit about how exactly that works? Like do you just post up somewhere that you can design websites and set a price for yourself?

Thanks for your post.

[evelynlim]

Hello Flash1988,

Despair not. You are not alone. In fact, there are many many people, whom you may not realize, that are having exactly the same problems of not knowing what they want out of life. Have you heard of the term "mid-life" crisis?

In my conversations with many of my friends, it appears to me that there is one common theme. Most of us have gone to school, completed a degree and yet have never been sure if the job we are doing is really what we want to do for the rest of our lives. It can be unsettling when confusion starts to arise when you are well into say your 40s and when you have a family to feed.

Hence, it is a good thing that you try to discover what you want as soon as you can. You need to follow your passion and interest. Of course, Andrew on this thread, also correctly points out that it has to have value. Value is created when you feel that you have made a positive change to the lives of others.

Whatever you have studied, etc or gone through, is never wasted. You can harness your skills in order to achieve your ultimate goals. Eg. if you determine that your calling is to help people in the less developed countries, you can set up a site to bring more awareness, outsource some computer work to them, or fly over there to teach them your skills. There are many many possibilities.

All the best,
Evelyn

[Tobias Zimpel]

Flash, you collected experiences - and a lot of them, I believe. They are worth more than anything else.

I could also say that I was on the wrong course, but for about 10 years. But without these 10 years, I wouldn't be where I am now. I still would not know what is my path, nor would I probably question it in the first place.

Originally Posted by Flash1988

I think the thing that kept me on the course was the good friends and people I met there.

So you love to set your own hours, and you love to connect to people, right?

I honestly can't see you fit into a normal job where you have to be at a certain place at a certain time.

Have you ever thought about freelancing to earn some bucks? You need some self discipline to really do work, but at least you can decide when to wake up, when to work, and how to organize your time.

If you believe that you wouldn't do any work if no one is standing behind you, then you maybe should better get a job - but for only that reason.

I never had any idea what I wanted to do so I just did this because I had a computer from a young age and I'm always on it. Maybe this has been some kind of excuse to not get a job.

Maybe you can use a computer do work with other people in some way. Are you able to do something others probably can't? Then sell it as a service to them or teach them how to do it.

You can download a free book on how to make money teaching your knowledge to others at Teaching Sells

I get stuck in routine. When I wanna try something new, I stop when I hit a plateau. I want things to be perfect. I always see how things could be much simpler. Like how come certain people understand the whole grading A/O GCSE etc thing and others don't (me)? People explain it and I feel like they've told me 1% of what they know -- it's what I asked for but I know there's tons more to it.

This sounds like a path to your real passion. Improvement, understanding things and simplification seem to be important to you, right?

Just wondering.. I did voluntary work for a gaming website for a couple of years (I was a manager), can I include that on my C.V or something? It doesn't seem the kind of thing to include though.

Of course you can, if it is in alignment with what you do.

But instead of putting it in a C.V. without further thought, I suggest that you ask yourself what you liked about that work, and search for ways to include these in your future job.

I wish you all good, and if you have further questions feel free to ask them anytime.

[andrew]

Well, yes you could do that, but I find the best work comes from word of mouth and a solid portfolio. Even if you don't do paid work at first, and even if you do some designs just for fun, get some work online at your own domain, and make a really impressive portfolio.

Once you have this up, you can join communities of designers online, which are great resources, like kirupa.com etc. They'll give you great feedback, you can meet a lot of people, and most importantly get your name out there. Also, you'll see just how many people are doing it, and how they're so much better than you - use that to motivate yourself.

Also, you can tell friends and family members, and get the word out. But make sure you know your ****, even if you have to do unpaid work, or hobby work, you don't want your firsts jobs to give you a bad rep, esp with family and friends. (oh, but never do work for them either, just have them get your name out).

This profession isn't just like retail or fast food, you have to have a lot of experience to really get anything from it. And you have to be passionate and enjoy it, or else you wont see the big bucks. If it's not something you feel that way about, then that's cool, but I'd start looking for something you are.

[harrem]

I'm in college right now and I love my course but there are really times wherein I find it hard to cope up with the tasks and projects and deadlines. I get depressed sometimes because I don't get results which I expect. But still I do try my best everytime and I don't give up. I think you do the same, too. Don't give up even if you feel like giving up. Play by your interests so that you'll love what you do.