Great ambition and goals but a giant wall

[Daniel S]

Hey!

I find myself having great goals that I am very motivated to do. I want to discover new things, I love science and study electrical engineering. I recently discovered that I love to teach also, I haven't actually teached but I have helped friends with math problems and the like and I really liked that. I am not advancing much due to reasons I will state later. I have alot of fears and trouble to actually get somewhere. But I think I want to help people get over these things that I myself have problems with. To realize that there are ways to get out of so called "depressions" and that there may be a reason to live. I want to learn photo reading, image streaming, languages, play instruments, travel like crazy. Kitesurfing (already doing it) And alot of things.

And especially I want to get the problems I have talking to gitls handled and I have been "trying" to do that the last two years without much success. I know what I need to do but I just cant do it. I want to go up and talk to women wherever I am and I know its possible others are doing it. And I have to do it myself. Its just, I dont. And its destroying every part of my life. And when I actually do something (it happens sometimes) that I know was going to be hard and I hadn't done it in a while. It feels like I can do anything! I feel amazing and it feels like the world has unlocked and I can accomplish anything.

Then I go home and am temporarily happy about my advances. Then I dont do much and eventually I fall back to worrying IF I will do this or not and I continue to dwell on my problems.

I mean I love learning and growing and I know I can do alot to help myself and others. Its just something in the way, and its driving me crazy. From time to time I actually start do doubt if this is what I want because I dont do anything. But eventually I am back where I started. Its like I have put my life on hold waiting for a big sign to happen. "Start living NOW"

Hmm, I just wanted to write a little to clear my thoughts. If someone have any opinions I would appreciate it.

[nick pagan]

Emotions all derive from whether or not we can fulfill the desires that we consciously or unconsciously set for ourselves. If you fulfill then you feel great. If you don't then you feel bad. The development of our capabilities to fulfill desires is the name of the game and that all comes down to making things personally possible.

You can read about why you hit a giant wall in this article:
Pinnacle Goal Setting Doesn’t Work

It will also direct to you a paper I wrote that will give you an ever deeper understanding of what's going on in your mind.

Hope it helps,
Nick

[yossarian]

Fear is the problem.

You have to be aware of fear to master fear. That is the biggest step. When fear arises, be mindful and note the fear in your mind. You don't need to act, you don't need to push it away. All you need to do is be mindful of that fear.

When you are mindful of something, you gain control of it. Eventually the fear dissolves and what you're left with is your natural innate courage.

There is something blocking you and it may not be fear itself but it is derived from fear. If you can be aware and mindful of what it is, through introspection and quiet meditation, then you naturally gain control over what it is.

[Daniel S]

Thanks to both of you. I have started to write about my thoughts and feelings. And I have found out some really scary but I think, good things about myself. Some beliefs I have held that I can hardly believe afterwards but I got an intense reaction from myself when writing them down. I just think it is so hard to accept some deep things I actually think about myself. Reading them afterwards I still somewhat doubt them but when I read how I reached the conclusion I can see them as true. I guess my mind have been trying to hide tem for so long that its easy to put up the old filters again and try to deny. But I cant deny anything anymore.

Thanks for the input. I am just wondering if it is possible to get through them by myself? I certainly want to, off course it would be nice to have someone to talk to but that is expensive and I cant wait to do something about these things. I will work on it myself, I know I will get over this. But I cant help to wonder if, when having big enough problems people need to see someone?

[Remez Sasson]

Desiring too many things often ends in doing nothing. It seems you are spending too much emotional energies on many desires, instead of focusing on the most important ones.

It would be a good idea, if each day you find some time to be alone and think about your desires and goals.

Write down on a sheet of paper all of your desires and goals.

Take each goal and think about it. Do you really desire it? Are you willing to do everything you can to accomplish it? Ask yourself if it is useful, and where it will lead you.

Think about the consequences of each accomplished goal, and how your life, and the life of people around you would be, if you accomplish them. Are you happy with this situation?

If you proceed in this way, you will discover that you do not really desire many of your goals. Ultimately, you will come up with a list of the really important ones, and you will know why you want them. Then it will be easier to accomplish them.

At this stage you can use affirmations and visualization to help you stay motivated, and avoid being subject to moods, depression or doubts.