How to Control my EGO

[babuji]

In Steve's most recent post: "Manifesting Intentions Without Resistance", he talks about how accepting your fears can lead to your intentions manifesting at faster pace.

Following the exercise he mentioned in the post, one of the things that I realized is that I fear that my Ego would be challenging to control if I gain more prominence or have a high cash flow coming into my life..

I am a fairly humble person as it is, but putting myself in a position where I am very well off would put me in territory I've never really been in.. so I suppose that's what I fear currently..

I just think that my ego would lead me have some sort of superiority complex. On the spiritual path, it is said that one must shed his/her ego in order to reach a higher spiritual plane.. though I'm a bit puzzled as to how that can work or how I can go about doing that.

Has anyone encountered this same problem or have a similar fear?

[Tanausu]

Hello there!

How do you define EGO?

Under my definition of Ego (Fear/Insecurity/What you do/What you have/What you "are"-in physical terms- based identity) you would run into trouble if YOU start identifying with your financial abundance or "high position"... that is, part of your identity becomes the wealthy-powerful-person...and of course your EGO will fight (with fear, and violence) anything that threatens your externally based identity...

So a solution would be to "separate" your identity from the external positions of wealth and power (or anything else really)...
You are not that, you are something else (IMO: lifespark, consciousness, spirit, soul...what you prefer...) something that cannot be threatened by anyone or anything ever...and is everlasting...
If you understand it, you'll empower yourself.

Hope I've been any help...

Tanausú from Venezuela

[Kaman]

Greetings babuji,

I've also been thinking about this and I'd like to make some comments on your post.

I think ego cuts both ways. When there's some urge to be rich, people can easily identify this as ego asserting itself. The reverse is also true. When you want to remain humble this can also be ego wanting to "spiritual".

I guess the way out is to live your life to the best of your ability. When you're un-moneyed, just go make some money or (since you believe in SR) just allow some money to flow into your life.

[Milo Riano]

On the professional front I admire Bill Gates and Jack Welch which makes me feel I have no ego to boast until then. It makes me feel I am nobody which may work for you also.

[Dating Specialist]

I feel that humility is the best way to go. Because by being humble, we are exposing ourselves to the vast expanse of knowledge and assistance we can get. In this way, we are progressing much faster and easier.

By being humble can be tough when pride is in the way. I am always reminding myself to practice humility too, especially after one of the sessions of my RCIA I did which taught us a valuable lesson that God want us to learn - humility.

[AndyMartin]

I echo Tanausu's observations.

Ego is not pride vs. humility. Ego is the identification with anything that is not your higher awareness. That includes mind, body and circumstance, as well as beliefs and conditioned behaviors.

Ego is very subtle and crafty; it has no shame, only an overpowering drive for self-preservation. It is the selfsame source of your fear that your ego would grow strong if you were to succeed. Ego builds a house of cards of attachments, beliefs, and conditioning with the single purpose of preserving the identity, because the end of identity is the end of ego. That is death for ego, just like physical death is death for ego, and it fears both as one. And it will resist any change to those structures to the bitter end.

That is the source of all fear, and of all incongruence. And the one tactic that ego has no response to is complete acceptance of all things as they are in the present moment. Fear is relative to past and future; time is the exclusive domain of ego. The present moment is the domain of the self that knows no fear.

So take a deep breath, feel your fear and accept it for what it is, then let it pass and go out and succeed in the present moment at everything you do!

[tparikka]

Hi babuji!

As AndyMartin said, identifying yourself the with the things in your life which are not your higher self can lead to issues with being able to manifest your intentions efficiently and healthily.

I think the best way to look at it is thus: when you manifest physical affluence, realize that you have not earned these resources. Rather, you have been entrusted with them. The universe has given you these resources to detach you from some of the mundane concerns of the world, and by using those resources you are more free to develop yourself and help others in a positive manner. Believe that you have "earned" your "rewards", and you will become attached to them. See those "rewards" as gifts to be used for the betterment of all, and it becomes easier to remain humble (@Dating Specialist) and prevent ego attachment.

Good luck!

[songwriter]

I thought the oppossite... that my ego was my spirit or consciousness... that's who I am, I mean. Ego=I, so I thought it was that way. So the ego is what I have and not what I am...

[helgi]

If you attempt to control your ego or beat it into submission, you'll find that it is really another ego pattern that has slipped through the back door. Don't think that you have to get rid of your ego or destroy it.

Look at it this way: you have a siamese twin that is constantly making noise, attacking, complaining, and making your life miserable; an endless fountain of negativity that, if you react to with more negativity, you'll get more of the same.
The only way is to allow the negativity to exhaust itself without giving it any nourishment (reaction/more negativity). When it is allowed to play out without getting any reaction, it slowly dies out. It is throwing tennis balls in your face, and will soon tire of it when you don't throw them back in revenge.

Now, even someone who you could call 'enlightened' can still experience ego activity, but then the ego is simply allowed to wear itself out without ever being given any reality. With time, the ego will gradually dissolve and maybe even disappear completely at some point, but this is not necessary. The only thing you ever need to do is be aware of the ego patterns, to see them for what they are, and thus not give them a foundation to build on.

So in your particular case, you can start observing your ego activity right now, and then when the time comes that you have millions of dollars, your awareness will have become strong enough so that the ego isn't able to pull you in anymore.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by songwriter

I thought the oppossite... that my ego was my spirit or consciousness... that's who I am, I mean. Ego=I, so I thought it was that way. So the ego is what I have and not what I am...

It's a little complicated. A lot of our concept of 'ego' comes from Eastern thought.

Essentially Ego equals your self-image. ie. The ego is the you that you think you are.

For example, say someone calls you a stupid moron, and you get irritated about it. Why? Because it's a challenge to your self-image. Your ego perceives itself as not stupid, so it bucks up its defences to protect that image.

Physical things can become a part of your self-image. eg. You might have an image as a wealthy person with the best car etc. You love that car because it is part of your self-image as a prosperous person.

In that situation, if your car was destroyed, you would feel terrible ; ie. the destruction of a physically unrelated object would hurt you emotionally.

According to Eckhardt Tolle (and Buddhism, Taoism etc.) you are not your self-image, not your thoughts. You are the person watching those thoughts. You can have thoughts, but they are not you, any more than the car you have is really you.

Hopefully that clarifies things a bit.

[demk]

Read these books for the best advice...

Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth (I read this 4 times cover to cover when I first got it)

Marianne Williamson - A return to Love (currently reading. It covers this topic well so far)

[Henrik]

I would just like to add to demk´s recommendations and say that I found that Eckhart Tolle´s dvd "Flowering of Human Conciousness" had some excellent information on the ego-question. Great dvd and Tolle is very likeable as a speaker (or whatever you want to call it).