is that a purpose??

[Rose of Cairo]

Hi all, yet another "What's my purpose"-Thread... I have a question.

Since I've broken up my studies I've been trying to find out what my purpose is. I knew it had something to do with expressing beautiful feelings like happiness, freedom, love, harmony, or lightheartedness, and also with helping people, but I couldn't define it more precisely. In these months I've learned a lot, and a lot happened in my life, but still no purpose in sight...

Yesterday night I was pretty frustrated and angry because of that, especially because my savings are melting at high speed and I don't want to get a meaningless job just to pay the bills... This morning, I suddenly remembered that in another post of mine, I wrote "That's exactly what I'd like to do, go through life and randomly give people some positive energy, make them smile and feel happy for a few moments..." In the same post, a few lines later, I said that I still haven't found my purpose. But this one sentence, isn't that a purpose??

I'd really like to do that. Just freely dance through life, or through the day, or through the city, like a little sun, and offer others a little bit of sunshine. I don't want to save them, or make them completely happy, neither do I want to change fundamentally their life or make them grow as persons. It's not about coaching or PD. It's more in some little details.

For instance, recently I met an old lady in the bus. I liked her, so I invited her to sit down near me. After five minutes she was giggling and whispering in my ear like a little girl. We had a nice time talking about what we had done that day, about dancing and men and about being old or young. When I had to leave the bus, she was disappointed. I wished her a wonderful evening and left with a last smile. I'll never see her again, probably, but I'll never forget these twenty minutes with her, they made me very happy. Maybe it also brightened up her day a bit. That's what I'd like to do. Just give people a bit of happiness and love, or give them a feeling of freedom, contamine them with my lightheartedness, make them smile, brighten up their day for a few moments.

OK, it's not a "great" purpose, like Steve's for instance, but even though that's not a very ambitious contribution, that's a contribution nonetheless, isn't it? I hadn't noticed, because it wasn't about saving the world... But this morning, while I was thinking about it, I had to cry a lot - and now I'm crying again. As I wrote in another thread, I love small, unimposant things, daily life details. There is so much beauty in small things too. So I can have a small purpose, can't I? Some people build huge monuments and paint the Mona Lisa... others paint a smiley with their finger on a steamy window glass. That's my part.

Now tell me, that's a general purpose, isn't it??

[DarkSociologist]

Hi Rose of Cairo,

Yes, that is a purpose. It is something that guides the actions of your life, so you don't have to worry about that. The tricky part for you is not finding a better purpose, since you already have one that you believe is your true purpose (and it is a good one. don't put yourself down), but now you need to start thinking about ways you can fulfill that purpose.

Don't worry, these ideas will come to you if you let them. Hopefully they'll come sooner than later.

And don't get so caught up in comparing yourself and your actions to others. If something just fits right, then why should you care if other's aren't doing it? You just have a different purpose than they do.

[emilee]

Hi Rose!! I love reading your writings!! A picture came to me of you doing what you do, what you love to do, and then going to your computer to write it up and submitting it to a newspaper in the form of your own column. (With links to your blogs!!) Just wanted to share that. Have the very best of days!! emilee

[Angela]

Rose, it sounds like that inspires you, so I think you're on the right track. If I were you, I would narrow it down to a concise statement you can declare gracefully and powerfully. (something that ends with a period rather than ellipses, and that leaves you feeling powerful and inspired.) Maybe something that sounds like: "My purpose is to ignite moments of joy for myself and others." -- but in words that really inspire you.

Also, small joys are wonderful, as you say. And I wonder if you'd like to play even bigger: to try on a purpose that is not limited to the moments of joy, but rather, a purpose of generating joy, abundantly and overflowingly. I invite you to try that on, because the more you give away, the more you have. And abundant, overflowing joy can still include the small moments, the little butterflies of joy that you love.

What do you think about that?

[Parthon]

emilee: I saw the same thing, but it was talking to lots of people as a happiness counselor.

Angela is spot on as well. While everyone likes making other people happy, there's a certain expression of it that's unique to you. You can do it in a way that noone else can and while you are definately 100% on the right track, I think digging a little deeper you will find the exact purpose that will set you on fire.

As to not wanting to be huge and do it on a grand scale, it sounds more like there is something that you would lose if you went too large. Like you would lose the one on one connectedness you get with people and the sensation of people receiving the pieces of joy you create for them in the moment. Probably not, but it's something to look for, there's a good chance I'm wrong.

As for your purpose, just a big question: If you could give that piece of lighthearted happiness and total harmony to everyone in the world at the same time .. would you? If the answer is yes, then you know you don't want to play this one small.

[Tayrak]

I am not going to save the world, I won't find the cure for cancer, I won't ever stop a war.
I let a bird out of a room it was trapped in, I know it was happy 'cause it twittered and was joined by its buddies. So I'm happy too.

The world has a few people who do great things, and is full of great people who do a lot of little things.

[Lola]

Rose - I think it's a very great purpose. You are an *Encourager* and everyone you come into contact with benefits from that.

I like your dancing, sunny, joyful, free, beautiful self!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Sounds like a great purpose to me. It is one that can be applied in lots of different kinds of jobs so just pick one that suits you. I am sure you can find a creative way to share your joy with others in small and big ways.

[4Mind4Life]

You can make your "purpose" be whatever you want to be! You may even change your "purpose" several times before realizing your life purpose that is aligned with your "higher self." So for now, if you don't feel like you have a purpose: pick one that you think is good!

Best wishes & good luck!

[Rose of Cairo]

Thanks all

Yes, this really inspires me. I have difficulties narrowing it down to one sentence though. There are many feelings that are important to me and that I'd like to give others, so it's difficult to pick just one or two. These feelings are: happiness, freedom, love, lightheartedness, peace, harmony... but sometimes it also has something to do with closeness or communication, like this with this old lady. Or the feeling of discovering something new. I don't know exactly how to define it.

Creating huge amounts of joy doesn't really resonate with me. I don't mind doing it on a grand scale, like writing something and five hundred people read it and smile, but I still want them to just smile for a few moments, not feel deeply changed and happy for years. These "little moments" of freedom/happiness/peace are exactly what makes me very happy in my life, more than big things.

DarkSociologist (cool nick!): yes, you're absolutely right, I shouldn't compare. It's just that in my imagination "having a purpose" was something great, you know, like saving the world, helping people grow, or teaching them something very important... So I didn't see what was under my nose.

Lola: an encourager?? Every test I ever took told me that I'm an "adventurer"

I already have a lot of ideas about how to express that purpose! Actually I had these ideas before finding the purpose I thought these little projects are nice, but "not important" enough to realize them.

A few examples:

• I want to write. I already have two blog ideas. I won't write about important things nor will I teach people things, it's just to make them have a nice five minutes
• Dancing. People feel happy when they watch some beautiful dance. While dancing you can express a lot of freedom, happiness and harmony
• Becoming an animal healer and volunteering at the animal shelter. I'm already doing that
• I'd like to design a few clothes for curvy women like me. Fashion creates clothes suitable for tall, thin women, but not optimal for us. I'd like to make special clothes for such women, so that they look great in them and feel good instead of crappy when they go to buy clothes
• I can help children with their homework. I hated school and I'd like them to feel better about it. I'd especially like to explain them mathematics in a playful way (lightheartedness...)
• Petting animals is not only good for your mood, it's good for your health too. That's why many homes for old people allow pets. But many still don't allow them. I could take some pets and visit these old people's homes so that they can feel happy a few moments with the animals (happiness, peace, love...)
• I could coach people who feel insecure using a computer and teach them how to do that, like old people or housewives. (freedom..) My grandmother is 82 and learns how to surf the web now
• I'd like to do sculptures. I can do some beautiful things that bring harmony into a room

I'm not saying that I will do all that, but these are a few ways to express such a purpose. What do you think? Are they accurate?

[absvan]

Hi Rose,

By this time if you found your purpose, then great. If not, I just wanted to let you know this....something from my personal experience.

I see that you have mentioned its your second post here in pursuit of finding your purpose. I suggest not to spend time so much time looking for your purpose...or in other words you can still live your life if you dont have a specific purpose.

Whats most important is that your life is here - happening now. Whether you have a purpose or not your life is happening. Experiencing life as it is is more important than experiencing life with a purpose. May you should try that approach and your purpose will be revealed to you.

Dont miss your life passing by in the pursuit of your purpose. Just my 2 cents...

[Lola]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

These "little moments" of freedom/happiness/peace are exactly what makes me very happy in my life, more than big things.

Ahhh, but who knows what ripple effect that little moment might have!

I think your list is fabulous - and I have one to add for your consideration - training therapy dogs. It would be a great fit with your love of animals and empathy for children and the elderly.

And do some of those clothing designs for tall, curvy women, too, please!

[Sam988]

Rose, when you made that other thread (Happily Unemployed) saying you were happy that you had no job and broke up your studies, i thought about making a post asking about what you planned to do, how were you going to survive and stuff, but i didnt do anything to not disencourage you. Because someone that wasn't much into PD would think you situation is a pretty bad one, although it appears that in these forums many people envied your situation when you made that other thread.


Maybe, just maybe (because i really can't know, i only got my opinion and paradigm) you have been deluding yourself and filling your mind with so much PD/SR/IM stuff that you lost a bit of the sight of reality. As you said, your savings are going away, and what are you going to do after they've went away? Attract more money using IM? I really hope it works for you.

[NotesMaeve]

Sam, I have no problem punching you in the arm if I ever meet you on the street. I probably will. Try not to take it personally and be thankful that I'm not strangling you.

Rose, I think those ideas are beautiful. I think you should offer tutoring in math and computers ASAP! What a great way to start your self-employment!

[Lisa McGregor]

Rose, do you know how many people over the age of 50 are petrified of computers. If you could teach them in a fun way you could have a great income just doing that. Also teaching Math in a fun way. I would have loved to have had such a teacher when I was in school. I'm interested to hear how your "curvy" designs go. Let me know. Best of luck. I know you will do fine.
Love Lisa

[NotesMaeve]

^ Srsly. If someone could teach my mother to simply surf the web, email, attach and download pictures, and print, I'd hand them $300.

I also might kiss them, whether or not they wanted it.

[Rose of Cairo]

Absvan: yes of course, you're right. But fact is that I have to earn money. So I have a clear choice: a) find out what my purpose is, and do something important and meaningful to make money, or b) just take some random, boring job based on my skills. As long as I'm not absolutely forced to do b), I'll do a).

Sam, I don't think these other people envied my situation at all. They were just pleased by my positive reaction to this situation, that's not the same. And yes you're right, it's a pretty bad situation. Actually it's even a f***ing crappy one. I'm not deluding myself, neither am I seeing it in a SR perspective, I'm not even intending anything. It's just that I hoped I would find my purpose and do something meaningful before the last cent is gone. I think that sometimes it pays off to take a risk to get the best of what you want (edit: and yes, honestly, I really find it funny to be in such a crappy situation. That's something I'll remember later and smile. Even if I land on the street, I don't think I'll die...)

Nevermind, I've found it now, I think, even though I still have difficulties formulating it.

Lisa, the curvy clothes, uh, hm.. I'm really bad at drawing. I have them in my mind, but on paper it just doesn't want to look like I imagine it.

And yes, there are lots and lots of people who feel insecure in front of a computer. There are computer classes everywhere they can take, but the problem is that when they're back home, and on their computer there is a slightly different OS, or they forgot something, or just because they're left alone again without the teacher, they feel insecure again. So my job would be to coach them at their home, on their own computer, till they feel comfortable with it.

I think I can listen to them and be empathic enough to know how they feel and take care that they don't get overwhelmed. Seven years ago I had never used a computer in my life, I didn't even know what a URL is, and I had to program java servlets. So I know how you feel when you sit there and don't understand anything

Love to you all.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Sam, I don't think these other people envied my situation at all. They were just pleased by my positive reaction to this situation, that's not the same. And yes you're right, it's a pretty bad situation. Actually it's even a f***ing crappy one. I'm not deluding myself, neither am I seeing it in a SR perspective, I'm not even intending anything. It's just that I hoped I would find my purpose and do something meaningful before the last cent is gone. I think that sometimes it pays off to take a risk to get the best of what you want (edit: and yes, honestly, I really find it funny to be in such a crappy situation. That's something I'll remember later and smile. Even if I land on the street, I don't think I'll die...)

Ah then great. I must have misunderstood it. I'm sure you'll do fine with this mindset, seriously.

[Dive Bomb]

I don't think there is anything wrong with finding a job to keep your finances in check while yoou develop what you want to do with your purpose. Instead of looking at the job as boring and meaningless, think of it like you are contributing to a company that is serving a large community (or the world depending on who you work for). Now there is using the lens of SR in action.