Knowing your role...

[suzuki_sx29]

Hello everyone- I've got a question that has plagued me more and more the older I get... I can never seem to know what my "role" is at jobs, in relationships, in life.... For example, I was a diabetic counselor at a camp for diabetic children for a week this summer... I was told by both my camper kids and the other counselors that I'm an awesome counselor, actually my kids kept telling me that I made their camp experience and their counselor last year sucked! BUT, I was told at the end of the week by my "medstaff" (he gives insulin to the kids and monitors diets, he is not always w/ the kids, but I was supposed to be) that I didnt fulfill my role at all. He said that I put the "C" before the "D" ("DC"=Diabetic Counselor). Although my kids had a great time, I didnt objectivly perform all of my objectives: ALWAYS have BS for medstaff @ meals/snacks, ALWAYS be w/ the kids, no matter what, ALWAYS monitor what the kids eat... I had gotten a bit of a briefing before camp, but I seemed to have lost the forest for the trees and gotten caught up in the moment, I forgot BS's a couple of times, got busy with other duties while I should have been dishing out their food, and sent the kids to activities w/ a non-diabetic counselor while I was again taking care of other duties. Basically, I lost the big picture for all the little details.
Also, last year I worked for an offroad race team at the Baja 1000. Kind of the same story... And the really aggravating thing is I kept asking for direction and input and at camp, I was told I was doing fine until the end, and at the race, it was assumed I knew what needed to be done, and yet when I asked was given nothing to do. I overheard the race team owner bitching about me the day before the race bc I didnt know where a certain tool was, and asked. In retrosect, I should have just searched for the tool, I dunno... Any insight?advice?

[brandi]

I don't kow what to tell you if you think you did well, don't listen to the ney sayers.

well it's hard to watch kids all the time and put the C befor D
the kids don't want to be seen as thier condition, but as kids....
C naturally comes befor D it may be yer med person who has a problem.

baja100/500 ain't no joke. It's thier fault if you were not properly prepared and shown where every thing is if you they did and you didn't pay attention...
well that on you.

and well some folks just like to have a reason THEY failed. that happens a lot at the Baja. it's a hard run, not many complete the race even with the best team.
give those folks the bird and move along.

the key i tell my staff is to look for things that need to be done.
make it your business to find things that need to be done.

and at the end of the day, that may not be your calling med and baja wrenching. don't become discouraged.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I think if the kids really like you, then you must be doing something right. This is not to say that you cannot try to improve in the areas that he criticized, but I think it means you shouldn't be too hard on yourself.

It's a gift to be able to engage children and actually have them like and respect you. Some people cannot do it!

Always look at criticism and take what you can from it to improve, but don't let it get you down. It sounds like you did well.

[emilee]

Hey Suz.....I 'm with Clarity, from a very slightly different angle. I would substitute the word "improve" with "heal". This may seem slightly(?) bizarre, but I lived with a psychopath for a year. He was prone to viciously verbally attacking me in what he considered were my shortcomings. Because I had done a huge amount of personal development work already, most of what he said had no effect on me whatsoever. I played with it. It wasn't about me, it was about him. The gift in his assaults was, that if I had a reaction to what he was saying, I knew he had touched a part of me that was still unhealed, a place were I was still uncertain. And that is where I would put my attention. Maybe the method was questionable, but the outcome was excellent! (I wouldn't recommend it to everyone.......(laughing)) I had SO much fun in that year!! I have never laughed SO much in my entire life!! Strange, but true! Our best is our best and that's what we have to offer.....others will judge it as they will...and they will....

warmth to you on your journey, emilee