Weird purpose

[flabastida]

I just did the "What's my Purpose in Life" exercise and I came out
with kind of a weird result. After listing a litany of large,
sweeping, all-encompassing, lofty goals, such as "Helping the
people of Latin America become prosperous" or "Teaching peace and
understanding," the thing that really brought tears to my eyes was:

"To love my wife with all my heart and soul, and to let her know
what a beautiful, special person she is, and that she is a great
mother and she can do and achieve anything her heart desires"

Throughout our 18 years of marriage we've had our ups and downs,
and I have been kind of mean to her, and also ignore her true
desires and wishes, but that one phrase really really made me
emotional. Is that supposed to happen? I mean, it just seems so
simple, and not at all world-changing. Don't you think I should
have a higher purpose in life?

[Michelle]

Yes, I think you have a higher purpose. Your purpose is for you, and would still be your purpose if your wife died or went away.

Maybe part of your purpose is learning to treat people better and passing that knowledge on?

It sounds like your emotional reaction came because you regret some aspects of your relationship with your wife.

Keep going on the exercise.

[Adam]

From my perspective, that is a perfectly valid life purpose. I have one of those short, all encompassing life purposes, but I would have been just as happy (and I have to admit, a bit relieved) if I had found one that wasn't quite so broad in scope as *everybody*.

A life purpose is extremely personal, so nobody else can say whether it is right or wrong. Your purpose, which I can't paraphrase nearly as eloquently as you wrote it, is yours alone to do with what you will. If you want to expand it, and recognize that there are women out there who are in restrictive relationships who you could help empower, then that is right. If you want to keep the original wording, and make your wife the best loved person you know, then that is right as well.

As for world changing, in your eighteen years of marraige, surely you've seen the power of an empowered woman at least once... It is truly an amazing thing. If you don't think that a well supported and loved woman can change the world, well, you're about to see an amazing lesson.

One last thing to add. Do not be worried if your purpose was created from your guilt, worry about the changes that it will bring for the future. My purpose is based on a lot of guilt (the full story is at askTrina.com » Blog Archive » Why ), primarily from a couple of points while I was a soldier in the U.S. Army. If your past experiences can help to bring a positive change, then don't worry about the past, worry about the changes that you can make today.

[ahimel]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Yes, I think you have a higher purpose. Your purpose is for you, and would still be your purpose if your wife died or went away.

I don't think her dying would invalidate your purpose. My roommate's fiancee died 7 years ago, but he still loves her with all of his heart and soul, and devotion to her still inspires him through hard times.

[Dating Specialist]

Originally Posted by flabastida

the thing that really brought tears to my eyes was:

"To love my wife with all my heart and soul, and to let her know
what a beautiful, special person she is, and that she is a great
mother and she can do and achieve anything her heart desires"

Throughout our 18 years of marriage we've had our ups and downs,
and I have been kind of mean to her, and also ignore her true
desires and wishes, but that one phrase really really made me
emotional. Is that supposed to happen? I mean, it just seems so
simple, and not at all world-changing. Don't you think I should
have a higher purpose in life?

I guess the reason why this stirred up your emotion the most is because it is actually something closest to your heart. Technically speaking, it is not lofty as compared to the other ones you have for sure.

But isn't love what matters most? The ability to love someone closest to you, who have been and will be spending the rest of her life with you, with all your heart and to really treat her well and wtih respect is a very meaningful purpose I find.

For that does brings you to higher ones like what Michelle mention - to treat people nicer. Someone once told me that if we can't even fix the problems we have at home, what makes us that capable to bring happiness and hope to the world? Well, not that it's entirely true, but you can sniff some food for thought in the statement.

I agree with Adam too. What's past is past, but we can surely learn from it and that's how and why we need to redefine our purpose as we progress in life too.

Your exercise is a truly good one. All the best to you! hugs!

[flabastida]

I didn't realize I was going to get such eloquent responses. Thanks for the affirmation Adam. And taking into consideration what Michelle said, as well as what Dating Specialist and you said, I'm going to put this purpose into action fully and 100%, and maybe I'll do the "20 min." exercise again in 6 months or a year and see if anything else comes up.

Fernando

Originally Posted by Adam

From my perspective, that is a perfectly valid life purpose. I have one of those short, all encompassing life purposes, but I would have been just as happy (and I have to admit, a bit relieved) if I had found one that wasn't quite so broad in scope as *everybody*.

A life purpose is extremely personal, so nobody else can say whether it is right or wrong. Your purpose, which I can't paraphrase nearly as eloquently as you wrote it, is yours alone to do with what you will. If you want to expand it, and recognize that there are women out there who are in restrictive relationships who you could help empower, then that is right. If you want to keep the original wording, and make your wife the best loved person you know, then that is right as well.

As for world changing, in your eighteen years of marraige, surely you've seen the power of an empowered woman at least once... It is truly an amazing thing. If you don't think that a well supported and loved woman can change the world, well, you're about to see an amazing lesson.

One last thing to add. Do not be worried if your purpose was created from your guilt, worry about the changes that it will bring for the future. My purpose is based on a lot of guilt (the full story is at askTrina.com » Blog Archive » Why ), primarily from a couple of points while I was a soldier in the U.S. Army. If your past experiences can help to bring a positive change, then don't worry about the past, worry about the changes that you can make today.

[Theobinomy]

I feel like I'm in the process of doing it now. I'm handing slips of paper to people and these little slips have a drawing of a seed. And I explain that all it takes to turn this seed into a tree or a flower, or whatever their heart desires (because its an imaginary seed, so it can grow into anything), is the paper, 1 part imagination, and 10 seconds. Mix well, and something will come out of it. ...and the question is what now? I've just done the greatest thing in my life. How do I get better? Maybe I should amend my statement (or change it completely) and say that I was a constantly shifting sliding person. I'm trying to quilt my own technicolor dreamcoat.