I have no motivation to do what i am good at

[stroodle]

i've been doing freelance graphics design for about 5 years. mostly for clubs, bars, and promoters. i know that i am very talented and could probably make a career out of this. however, i constantly tell myself i do not want to go down that road. i am also a student, so i do freelance pretty much when ever someone comes knocking, but otherwise i never go looking for clients. i have no motivation.

one of my goals in life is to be an entrepreneur and create a business - yet when it comes to graphics design i have no drive. i think it's because i don't want to get too involved in something that i know i don't want to get stuck into. my plan isn't to run my own graphics desing business, my dreams are a lot larger in scale and i don't want to doom myself to a life of computer-nerdum.

i just don't know what to do. i could keep persuing this freelance job because i'm good at it. or i could completely quit it and start something fresh. i am a creative person, and don't want to trick myself into think i'm 'just' a creative graphics designer, and head down that path because i happen to be good at it. i can be good at a lot of things.


i guess i'm not really asking any question here, more like venting. but if you were/are in a similar situation, please share your thoughts.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by stroodle

i guess i'm not really asking any question here, more like venting. but if you were/are in a similar situation, please share your thoughts.

I guess that we all have talents that we do not wish to develop and pursue... in my case, I'm good at drinking beer and girl watching... but I never seriously thought about making a career out of it...

You say that you are a creative person... so, you should be able find something that you can really get passionate about... make it an assignment (finding your passion) it could be the best time investment that you will ever make...

The very best of luck to you...

.

[geekchic9]

I had a similar issue after I realized I no longer wanted to be an English professor. I realized that I much preferred computer science -- even though I had very little experience with it. My parents didn't want me to go into computers and forced me to graduate with an English degree anyway. That is a long story in itself, and the only reason why I think they did that is because my father wanted to major in computer science in the late 60s/early 70s, and his parents refused to let him do it as well. Sad, huh?

I have absolutely no motivation to teach or research in English. You know what my dream is? I want to help donate computers to the disadvantaged and teach them to use Ubuntu Linux instead of Windows or Mac, because Ubuntu is not only easy to use, but it is free (as in beer and speech.)

I have developed a large plan in order to get to my dream, including paying off my debt from my first degree, teaching myself programming and computer systems, and getting degrees in software engineering and small business management. This is at least a 20-year plan, but this is how I view it: Each day is one step closer to my goal, and one less day I have to wait.

So, my advice to you is to try new things you've never tried before, and figure out what you love. You don't even have to be good at it at first. Just fall in love with it. Then, learn all about it and let your imagination guide you to a big dream you want to make happen. Then, go for it.

This post was longer than I expected, but I hope it helps.

[JimC]

Well said geekchic9...

stroodle, I am/was in the same boat as you bro. I had this same mindset, and to respond to your proposition- if you don't want to do graphic design, don't do it.

Before I knew what I wanted to do, I explored various options ranging from computer programming, to web design, to journalism, and even to arts and crafts.

I happened to be able to create decent web sites quickly, pretty soon people would promote me as a web designer.

People would say "hey, Jim can make you a website" but in reality, I didn't enjoy it all too much. I love making web sites for myself, on my own time with my own creativity... it's just a part time hobby. But people have promoted me so much, and I gave in to it! I gave in to the jobs that people would offer me to do web work for them. Not long after my name got around, people started ASSUMING that I wanted to do web design for a career.

I make some decent extra cash doing it too, but I enjoy it less and less every time I find a new client.

If you don't want to do graphic design for a career, stop now. There are hundreds of other fun ways to make money that require creativity and art

Find something you enjoy then market it, don't market something then find a way to enjoy it.

If you haven't already, I suggest checking out Pavlina's podcasts, I have been listening to it all day (up to #13 now) and it has really helped me take a look at my life and explore things differently. And because he is a computer person like you and I, it is much easier to relate to his examples. Check it out!

[stroodle]

Originally Posted by JimC

People would say "hey, Jim can make you a website" but in reality, I didn't enjoy it all too much. I love making web sites for myself, on my own time with my own creativity... it's just a part time hobby. But people have promoted me so much, and I gave in to it! I gave in to the jobs that people would offer me to do web work for them. Not long after my name got around, people started ASSUMING that I wanted to do web design for a career.

I make some decent extra cash doing it too, but I enjoy it less and less every time I find a new client.

yeah that's pretty much exactly what happened to me.

i think i've just turned this into a big decision because i don't exactly know what i want to do next. and i don't want to give up an opportunity, for fear of not knowing what/when is the next opportunity. but i think i should look into what i AM interested in doing, and an opportunity will arise.

thanks for your posts everyone

[JimC]

Originally Posted by stroodle

and i don't want to give up an opportunity, for fear of not knowing what/when is the next opportunity.

Consider the possibility that you are filtering out the many other opportunities because you don't believe they exist. There could be many other opportunities presenting themselves to you, you just need to open up and accept them.

Once you find something of interest, maybe you could safely segway in to it by merging it with graphic design.

Here's an example... I wanted to become a programmer, but I only had web design experience, and if I stopped designing web pages to learn programming, I would go broke! So I started managing web sites for projects that other programmers created. I slowly got involved with the projects, learned a few things, and managed to incorporate a lot of programming knowledge in to my life while maintaining a steady flow of web design.

You don't necessarily have to abandon your current income to risk a chance at a new one. Merge them.

I'm interested in any opportunities that arise to you in the future, keep us updated!

[hotwired]

I think I know what you mean. In between your lines, I read that once "career" or "money" is "attached" it takes away the freedom, the pureness of your talent ... could that be? I may be reading this into your post simply because I have that "bug" too. I have won national music competitions with my guitar but do landscaping and web design for a living. I find it difficult to motivate myself to the big "change" to go toward music and leave all else behind.

Perhaps David Deida (way of the superior man) said it best in his chapter on purpose.

If You Don't Know Your
Purpose, Discover It, Now

Without a conscious life-purpose a man is totally
lost, drifting, adapting to events rather than creating
events. Without knowing his life-purpose a man lives
a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually
becoming even sexually impotent, or prone to
mechanical and disinterested sex.

The core of your life is your purpose. Everything in
your life, from your diet to your career, must be
aligned with your purpose if you are to act with
coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your
purpose, your deepest desire, then the secret of
success is to discipline your life so that you support
your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and
detours.

But if you don't know your deepest desire, then you
can't align your life to it. Everything in your life is
dissociated from your core. You go to work, but since
it's not connected to your deepest purpose, it is just a
job, a way to earn money. You go through your daily
round with your family and friends, but each moment
is just another in a long string of moments, going
nowhere, not inherently profound.

Disconnected from your core, you feel weak. This
empty feeling will undermine not only your "erection"
in the world, but your erection with your woman, too.

However, when you know your true purpose, which is
your core desire in life, each moment can become a
full expression of your core desire. Every instant of
career, every instant of intimacy, is filled with the
power of your heart purpose. You are no longer just
going through the motions at work and with your
woman, but you are living the truth of your life, and
giving the gifts of your love, moment by moment. Such
a life is complete unto itself in every instant.

The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through
work and woman, because he is already full. For him,
work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts,
and be vanished in the bliss of the giving.

[Tuumble]

This 'not wanting to do design' seems to be a popular thing as that is pretty much how I felt too. Maybe we're all graphic-ed out.

I've posted the following links before but these are two things that I've done that helped me achieve a bit more direction in my life.

The first one is the benefit of having thinking time in an environment away from normal distractions. (Wiping Ice Cream off the Window)

In this case the thinking time was effectively forced upon me but it would work just as well if you scheduled it. Basically letting your mind go can take you in all sorts of directions which may provide you with the inspiration for the next step.

The second is by being your own life coach by having a typed conversation with yourself. (Talking to yourself in Messenger and Messenger Coaching: The Proof it Works)

I found both these helped me in gaining some clarity - maybe it can for you as well.

The final suggestion would be to perhaps split your life in two.

As you move towards your goal of entrepreneurship how about being a freelance designer in the mornings and use the afternoons and evenings to focus on your real goals.

That way your day is structured, and you can concentrate on what is really important while still making a steady income. It may make the transition between the two a lot simpler.

As has previously been said, you clearly don't want to be a designer long term so you should be specific about what you will and will not do.

If you don't want to do design at all just refuse to take anymore work now. If it's a money issue you may need to re-evaluate how you spend your time and earn a living sooner so it will take a big mental shift.

If you're not motivated use that as your motivation to not consider anymore design work. Cut it out of your life!

Having the structure and then reducing the freelance work over time could be the way forward. If you mentally switch-off from the fact you do design you take the pressure off.

Make today the day where you ARE an entrepreneur or an entrepreneur that does occasional freelance design rather than a freelance designer that WANTS to be an entrepreneur.

The best of luck to you.

[SeriousKidding.com]

You know, being a songwriting, gigging musician, I've had times when I just didn't want to do it anymore (by the way, I only gig around town, so it's not like I'm out on the road or anything). But, your creative juices just run out. Take a well-deserved break until the passion returns. I've had a few periods like that. Now, I'm in creative mode, big time, and have the juice to write, perform, and crave doing it again. If you don't listen to yourself, you end up hurting the creative process, if you ask me. Let it guide you. Don't force it.

I have a multitude of other things to take its place, like other forms of writing, and I always must have a business I'm persuing. I'm into playing racquetball and biking, too. And, I'm an old guy even, LOL!

[falcan]

I was at similar place as you are now, I think. I was doing pixel art, I was good at it and I know I'm talented "potential" artist, people told me that. However I knew that I'm doing that just for living(yeah and it was not bad, e.g. I didn't hate it but I didn't love it). I was thinking exactly like you, I don't want to "just" draw art into other people's games. I planned to create my own computer games, and I knew doing art is just using my abilities to pay the checks. Even some people told me that it's a shame that I will "waste" the talent etc. if I leave doing the art, I did anyway and now I'm much happier doing what I really love(and I already make alot more money than before:-) Somtimes I miss the art though, so I plan to buy a tablet and draw just for fun. That's how it's supposed to be anyway, you have to have some hobbies that you do occasionally, more or less, and then have a job that heavily motivates and fullfills you! It doesn't have to be necessarily intersected 100% with your talents.

[justfiverules]

Stroodle - your 2nd paragraph looks like a good start to figuring out the next step. Do you want to expand on it a wee bit?

Check out Stephen Shapiro's blog Stephen Shapiro if you want to be stimulated by what some other folks are up to creativity-wise.

[vedisteh]

Me too.. I am giving tuition for more than ten years and my passion is getting less and less.It becomes even obvious recently due to some problematic parents.They think they are rich and can be so snobbish to people. Do I have to face this kind of people to earn tuition fee ??

I know I can just stop some of their children from having classes with me, but I know this may bring negative effect. This is a small place. They will just spread harmful words around about me.

How I wish I can stop certain students !! But, I am loaded with credit card debts. I need the tuition fee to pay off my debts. I have started making money online and I enjoy blogging. I hope that once I reach $2,000 a month online, I can stop some of the classes $2,000 X RM3.4 = RM 6,800 is more than enough for me in Malaysia.

[JohnPlace]

It may have something to do with what Steve Pavlina calls a "congruent life." -- The idea that we live our lives with a message, and that each job we have is merely a way of communicating our message to the world. We may grow tired of a particular job, but our message is a longer term proposition -- although that too can change, albeit more slowly.

I tend to think of work as existing in three categories:

1) Vocation -- a life calling
2) Career -- upward mobility does not necessarily lead to greater fulfillment
3) Job -- the most menial and basic category - grunt work.

Perhaps you've realized that your career is not aligned with your vocation. Do you know what your vocation is? A little introspection may be in order.

Good luck.

[AveryHorton]

Knowing what you don't want is just as important as knowing what you want.

[1000feet]

Stroodle, I haven't been in a similar situation but I do know a lot of people have something they're good enough at to do "on the side" and make money. If you set limits on how much time you spend (to allow enough energy for your real purpose to develop) and tell your customers, friends, and family that's how you want to do it they'll understand. If you're in demand the customers might even pay more for your limited attention, making up for the time that doesn't pay you anything.

I think one big thing that would help with this is to know your real purpose so you can tell people what's more important than design to you. Without that it will be harder for them to understand.