My First eBook and Sales Page (Need Advice)

[clove]

Okay, I just set up www.freefromfacebook.com and am ready to start marketing.

What are some steps I can take? I am thinking of adding testimonials, but I do not want to make the sales page too long. Any advice would be great.

[Shift]

My first thoughts were, "Where's the sales page?".

I'm guessing you want honesty, so let me break it down.... let's start with the three selling points:

Scientifically backed - Fantastic. Now how does that help me? Does that improve my chances? Does it mean I should trust you?

Diagnosis - who cares how severe my addiction is? This book is supposed to help me with the addiction I have, not tell me I have a problem, right?

21-Day Program - I'm a big fan of day by day programs, so I like this one. Will I have something to chew on each day, or will my addiction suddenly disappear at the end of 21 days?

Other than that... the money-back guarantee is always good. The headline was the last thing I read, since it's not really part of the copy. From what I've read, the headline is the most important part.

Just being honest... Check out Bob Bly's, "The Copywriter's Handbook".

[clove]

Thanks for your comments. I think I will create a real sales page, but I worry about a long page scaring away buyers.

Do you think testimonials are worth adding?

Should I add the diagnosis as free content?

[mikethedrummer44]

Needs more copy. Needs a better headline. Needs a much better sub-headline.

I'm looking at this like "WTF?" It doesn't mean anything to me. But it could.

Facebook is a HUGE problem for getting stuff done and everyone knows it. So use that to your advantage. Talk about how many hours can be saved without the need to check FB every five minutes. Talk about getting work done, homework done, stuff like that.

I bet a lot of Facebook users don't even realize they have a problem. This is where you come in. Show them how much time they're wasting on Facebook and what they could accomplish without it.

Maybe even hit on the fact that if you learn to kick the Facebook habit, you'll also have the dedication to be more focused in your other endeavors.

Each of your little "mini-headlines" (scientifically proven) needs to be explained with a ton of copy. Make each of those a section that you explain in huge detail.

To sum it up, you need to break reader's out of their trance. Capture their attention, introduce a problem and provide a solution.

[just jr]

wheres the pain?? why would I want to buy your book? how does your book relate to me

[Dimitri]

"Retail price: $127."

...

Not for an e-book it isn't.

I like the saving ten dollars by tweeting idea, but ditch the "You're saving 90 bucks" approach.

[chadcharlie]

Originally Posted by Dimitri

"Retail price: $127."

...

Not for an e-book it isn't.

I like the saving ten dollars by tweeting idea, but ditch the "You're saving 90 bucks" approach.

Lol. Sorry to giggle at that one.

BUT, Landing pages should be loooong with engaging copy and multiple opportunities to convert. Google Mike Dillard, Eban Pagan, and a network marketing company (like YTB Travel, are they still around??), and get lost in their landing pages. Notice the common elements and work them into your product and personal writing.

Good luck!
R/
Chad.

[mpescetti]

Originally Posted by clove

Okay, I just set up www.freefromfacebook.com and am ready to start marketing.

What are some steps I can take? I am thinking of adding testimonials, but I do not want to make the sales page too long. Any advice would be great.

A sales letter doesn't need to be a long, streaming page. You could keep it to a document size page.

However, the length of the sales letter is irrelevant.

Your problem is, you're NOT SAYING ANYTHING!

Who is your audience?

What are they experiencing?

What are they leaving on the table for being on Facebook for too long?

HOW MUCH MONEY ARE THEY LOSING?

You have a ton of work ahead of you!

But start with tooling and retooling your headline:

How Beating Your Facebook Addiction Can Save You From Leaving a Ton of Money on the Table!

[Denver]

is your ebook thousands of pages long? if not i would make the book look more like an actual book instead of a cereal box. just my 2 cents

[Sandstone]

Originally Posted by Denver

is your ebook thousands of pages long? if not i would make the book look more like an actual book instead of a cereal box. just my 2 cents

I agree. I also think that you should consider lowering the suggested retail value. Saying that it is $127 seems rather outlandish and would certainly entice me not to buy.

[Curious cat]

I'd remove the word 'mere' under 21-day program, it comes across as used car salesman and trying.

I also agree with others about the $127 price tag. I see you've slashed it and put up a new sale price of $34.95 which is more reasonable but i still think $127 needs to go.

Lastly, i have no idea about the quality of the book or how it can help me in a meaningful way. I wouldn't buy a book solely on it's claims alone. You need to give the reader more insight.

[chadcharlie]

Hey,
I just Stumbled on this and it reminded me of you.
Pretty colorful guide on landing pages.
The Anatomy of a Perfect Landing Page - Formstack

Take care,
Chad.

[Karen TDQ]

Interesting question.
Congrats for writng the book and getting the site set up. It is a lot of work. I know, I have spent the last several months doing one myself.
People buy from people they know and like and trust. The only way to help a total stranger move to that place is to offer him loooooooooong copy with lots of social proof and lots of opportunities to take action. If you don't it is like trying to hop into bed with a stranger without even buying them a drink!
They also only buy stuff that will do something for them - make them thinner, sexier, richer, popular etc or something that will fix a pain of some kind like being fat or sad or sick. You need to make it clear what is in it for them.
You can charge anything you choose for the book and you may want to test various price points, however you need to PROVE the value. Just saying it, sadly , does not make it so, especially if you are moving away from the Amazon 9.99 range.
Hope that helps. You are welcome to look at one of the sales pages on my site it if it will help you: Zendoodles | Stress Relief thru Doodling Feel free to ask me about it.

Congrats on the "tweet it for $10 off" - that is very clever! I am curious - how are you tracking that?

[clove]

Thanks to all those who gave advice. I have added a sales page.

Can I get a second-round of advice? Thanks!

site: http:www.freefromfacebook.com

[LauraJane]

This doesn't make sense:

"Has your time spent on Facebook increased since you’ve begun using Facebook?"

[danthony]

The fact is long sales letters usually convert better than shorter ones. The biggest things are to appeal to people's problems and show them your story and how they will find a way out of their issue. Sales letters are written to appeal to a greater need than just to sell, they've got to invoke a response in your reader.

Originally Posted by clove

Thanks for your comments. I think I will create a real sales page, but I worry about a long page scaring away buyers.

Do you think testimonials are worth adding?

Should I add the diagnosis as free content?

[Humancure]

To make the sale, provide 10 items of value for free - and THEN ask for a purchase.

So maybe you can give them free stuff via email - after 10 free things of OVER-VALUE delivery, then ask for a purchase.

The client will be so satisfied with the value he/she has received that they will feel they OWE you money, rather than making a sale.

[blondandfun]

I think it's too busy and complicated.

I don't need cartoon pictures to replace words.

Most people will just scan the page when they open the website after the first 2 sentences.

1. Those first two sentences need to give your readers reason NOT to just scan.

2. Explain less, entice more.

Sorry, but the cartoons just aren't doing do it for me, if you want media a video would be much better. You can easily make a stop-motion video or animation that would IMO be much better than a comicbook-like long drawn out cartoon.

[blondandfun]

Originally Posted by LauraJane

This doesn't make sense:

"Has your time spent on Facebook increased since you’ve begun using Facebook?"

I disagree. I think it's plainly obvious and clear as day what the sentence means.

This isn't a scientific journal, don't take "time spent" literally...99.9% of the readers knows what he means, IMO.

[Rebecca800]

I saw your original and your re-write and it has come on a long way. There's still a long way to go too, so I thought I'd pass comment on everything above the fold and see if that is of use:

I love the Louis CK quote a the start. It's a great introduction, it highlights the pain point, and Louis CK is awesome, so it's almost like he's endorsing your product. Great start.

The page looks a little too bare at the top - no header? You could make your logo bigger but I think the page needs some design or formatting, even if it is very very simple and minimalist.

The mint green font on white is unattractive and hard to read so I'd change that, make it blue for consistency with your branding.

Your initial questions / signs seem too broad, so a reader does not have to incriminate themselves if they dont want to (and why create a problem for themselves, especially if its an addiction they dont have to admit they have).

So make the "signs of addiction" more specific and more like a quiz:

How many times do you log into Facebook each day?
- Once at the most
- Only two or three times
- Every time I go online
- I lost count. Save me!

(In truth, any answer could be construed as addiction.)

You could also lead them to the conclusion more gently. Telling someone BAM! you're addicted! is too quick. They need to be convinced they have the problem first.

I think few people are really crapping themselves about the amount of time they spend on Facebook YET everyone recognizes it can be like a mild addiction. So you need to reach their level first by using specific examples of how addiction looks then relate to the common feeling of going on Facebook for no reason and showing readers how serious/ frustrating/ pointless it all is.

They'll be along for the ride then. At the moment, it gets too heavy too quickly, you're telling someone to diagnose themselves with a problem they are unlikely to admit to.

Good luck with the changes.

[clove]

Thanks for your advice Rebecca. You are right about assuming the reader accepts he has an addiction.

If anyone is still reading this thread, please review the new version of my copy and give me an opinion. www.freefromfacebook.com

Thanks!

[Aminka Ozmun]

I really love the drawings!

That said, I'm thinking maybe some more "text-play"...different sizes, fonts, colors...?

'Cause we're so visual, especially online I think. I usually do a quick scan, not even intentionally, when I happen on a page, especially one full of text (which is what I see initially on your site), and it's all just a block of text. Unless you really did want a "clinical" look and feel to things at first, maybe a little more color and other visual effects could be used....

But the drawings are really charming! Perhaps -- and this is just a wild thought -- you might rethink the book as a funny one, P.J. O'Rourke or something, and not so serious? Or, alongside the serious "clinical program," intersperse a bunch of funny drawings and one-liners or other types of humorous offerings?? Honestly, this seems like a non-problem, so maybe something self-deprecating could be used so that it's marketed as something humorous, to appeal to mainstream audiences...?

Again, just some wild thoughts! But honestly, I really love the drawings. That's really got my attention!

[maxinatlanta]

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[wanzulfikri]

I love the drawing but I can't see the REAL problem with the FB addiction in your sales page. I think the headlines should be a more focused and bigger because it is the first impression you'll give to visitors.