|10-28-2011, 11:24 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
My First eBook and Sales Page (Need Advice)
Okay, I just set up www.freefromfacebook.com and am ready to start marketing.
What are some steps I can take? I am thinking of adding testimonials, but I do not want to make the sales page too long. Any advice would be great.
|10-28-2011, 11:52 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
My first thoughts were, "Where's the sales page?".
I'm guessing you want honesty, so let me break it down.... let's start with the three selling points:
Scientifically backed - Fantastic. Now how does that help me? Does that improve my chances? Does it mean I should trust you?
Diagnosis - who cares how severe my addiction is? This book is supposed to help me with the addiction I have, not tell me I have a problem, right?
21-Day Program - I'm a big fan of day by day programs, so I like this one. Will I have something to chew on each day, or will my addiction suddenly disappear at the end of 21 days?
Other than that... the money-back guarantee is always good. The headline was the last thing I read, since it's not really part of the copy. From what I've read, the headline is the most important part.
Just being honest... Check out Bob Bly's, "The Copywriter's Handbook".
|10-28-2011, 06:12 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Needs more copy. Needs a better headline. Needs a much better sub-headline.
I'm looking at this like "WTF?" It doesn't mean anything to me. But it could.
Facebook is a HUGE problem for getting stuff done and everyone knows it. So use that to your advantage. Talk about how many hours can be saved without the need to check FB every five minutes. Talk about getting work done, homework done, stuff like that.
I bet a lot of Facebook users don't even realize they have a problem. This is where you come in. Show them how much time they're wasting on Facebook and what they could accomplish without it.
Maybe even hit on the fact that if you learn to kick the Facebook habit, you'll also have the dedication to be more focused in your other endeavors.
Each of your little "mini-headlines" (scientifically proven) needs to be explained with a ton of copy. Make each of those a section that you explain in huge detail.
To sum it up, you need to break reader's out of their trance. Capture their attention, introduce a problem and provide a solution.
|10-31-2011, 12:43 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New York, NY
Find other landing pages to emulate.
BUT, Landing pages should be loooong with engaging copy and multiple opportunities to convert. Google Mike Dillard, Eban Pagan, and a network marketing company (like YTB Travel, are they still around??), and get lost in their landing pages. Notice the common elements and work them into your product and personal writing.
|10-31-2011, 11:26 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Mt. Shasta, CA
However, the length of the sales letter is irrelevant.
Your problem is, you're NOT SAYING ANYTHING!
Who is your audience?
What are they experiencing?
What are they leaving on the table for being on Facebook for too long?
HOW MUCH MONEY ARE THEY LOSING?
You have a ton of work ahead of you!
But start with tooling and retooling your headline:
How Beating Your Facebook Addiction Can Save You From Leaving a Ton of Money on the Table!
|11-02-2011, 12:32 AM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2011
|11-02-2011, 12:57 AM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
I'd remove the word 'mere' under 21-day program, it comes across as used car salesman and trying.
I also agree with others about the $127 price tag. I see you've slashed it and put up a new sale price of $34.95 which is more reasonable but i still think $127 needs to go.
Lastly, i have no idea about the quality of the book or how it can help me in a meaningful way. I wouldn't buy a book solely on it's claims alone. You need to give the reader more insight.
|11-02-2011, 01:31 AM||#13 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2011
Congrats for writng the book and getting the site set up. It is a lot of work. I know, I have spent the last several months doing one myself.
People buy from people they know and like and trust. The only way to help a total stranger move to that place is to offer him loooooooooong copy with lots of social proof and lots of opportunities to take action. If you don't it is like trying to hop into bed with a stranger without even buying them a drink!
They also only buy stuff that will do something for them - make them thinner, sexier, richer, popular etc or something that will fix a pain of some kind like being fat or sad or sick. You need to make it clear what is in it for them.
You can charge anything you choose for the book and you may want to test various price points, however you need to PROVE the value. Just saying it, sadly , does not make it so, especially if you are moving away from the Amazon 9.99 range.
Hope that helps. You are welcome to look at one of the sales pages on my site it if it will help you: Zendoodles | Stress Relief thru Doodling Feel free to ask me about it.
Congrats on the "tweet it for $10 off" - that is very clever! I am curious - how are you tracking that?
Last edited by Karen TDQ; 11-02-2011 at 02:40 AM.
|11-17-2011, 05:02 AM||#16 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2009
The fact is long sales letters usually convert better than shorter ones. The biggest things are to appeal to people's problems and show them your story and how they will find a way out of their issue. Sales letters are written to appeal to a greater need than just to sell, they've got to invoke a response in your reader.
|11-18-2011, 06:35 PM||#17 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
To make the sale, provide 10 items of value for free - and THEN ask for a purchase.
So maybe you can give them free stuff via email - after 10 free things of OVER-VALUE delivery, then ask for a purchase.
The client will be so satisfied with the value he/she has received that they will feel they OWE you money, rather than making a sale.
|11-20-2011, 05:44 PM||#18 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
I think it's too busy and complicated.
I don't need cartoon pictures to replace words.
Most people will just scan the page when they open the website after the first 2 sentences.
1. Those first two sentences need to give your readers reason NOT to just scan.
2. Explain less, entice more.
Sorry, but the cartoons just aren't doing do it for me, if you want media a video would be much better. You can easily make a stop-motion video or animation that would IMO be much better than a comicbook-like long drawn out cartoon.
|11-20-2011, 05:50 PM||#19 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
This isn't a scientific journal, don't take "time spent" literally...99.9% of the readers knows what he means, IMO.
|11-20-2011, 11:39 PM||#20 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
I saw your original and your re-write and it has come on a long way. There's still a long way to go too, so I thought I'd pass comment on everything above the fold and see if that is of use:
I love the Louis CK quote a the start. It's a great introduction, it highlights the pain point, and Louis CK is awesome, so it's almost like he's endorsing your product. Great start.
The page looks a little too bare at the top - no header? You could make your logo bigger but I think the page needs some design or formatting, even if it is very very simple and minimalist.
The mint green font on white is unattractive and hard to read so I'd change that, make it blue for consistency with your branding.
Your initial questions / signs seem too broad, so a reader does not have to incriminate themselves if they dont want to (and why create a problem for themselves, especially if its an addiction they dont have to admit they have).
So make the "signs of addiction" more specific and more like a quiz:
How many times do you log into Facebook each day?
- Once at the most
- Only two or three times
- Every time I go online
- I lost count. Save me!
(In truth, any answer could be construed as addiction.)
You could also lead them to the conclusion more gently. Telling someone BAM! you're addicted! is too quick. They need to be convinced they have the problem first.
I think few people are really crapping themselves about the amount of time they spend on Facebook YET everyone recognizes it can be like a mild addiction. So you need to reach their level first by using specific examples of how addiction looks then relate to the common feeling of going on Facebook for no reason and showing readers how serious/ frustrating/ pointless it all is.
They'll be along for the ride then. At the moment, it gets too heavy too quickly, you're telling someone to diagnose themselves with a problem they are unlikely to admit to.
Good luck with the changes.
|11-30-2011, 03:40 AM||#21 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Thanks for your advice Rebecca. You are right about assuming the reader accepts he has an addiction.
If anyone is still reading this thread, please review the new version of my copy and give me an opinion. www.freefromfacebook.com
|11-30-2011, 01:58 PM||#22 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New York City
I really love the drawings!
That said, I'm thinking maybe some more "text-play"...different sizes, fonts, colors...?
'Cause we're so visual, especially online I think. I usually do a quick scan, not even intentionally, when I happen on a page, especially one full of text (which is what I see initially on your site), and it's all just a block of text. Unless you really did want a "clinical" look and feel to things at first, maybe a little more color and other visual effects could be used....
But the drawings are really charming! Perhaps -- and this is just a wild thought -- you might rethink the book as a funny one, P.J. O'Rourke or something, and not so serious? Or, alongside the serious "clinical program," intersperse a bunch of funny drawings and one-liners or other types of humorous offerings?? Honestly, this seems like a non-problem, so maybe something self-deprecating could be used so that it's marketed as something humorous, to appeal to mainstream audiences...?
Again, just some wild thoughts! But honestly, I really love the drawings. That's really got my attention!
Last edited by Aminka Ozmun; 11-30-2011 at 02:00 PM. Reason: Clarity.
|12-04-2011, 01:44 AM||#24 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
I love the drawing but I can't see the REAL problem with the FB addiction in your sales page. I think the headlines should be a more focused and bigger because it is the first impression you'll give to visitors.
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