NOBODY will rent to me. What gives?

[ENTP]

I'm in San Francisco - I'm trying to find a place to live for $2500 a month or under. (Here, that entails studios or roommates.)

I've been responding left and right to ads that meet my criteria - I spent the ENTIRE day yesterday doing so - and no bites yet. Not even an invitation to see the place, except one.

I mention that I'm a full-time professional who works in the financial district.

-Excellent credit/Proof of income
-Stable/Responsible
-Non-smoker
-Just me - no pets/kids/guests

For roommate ads, additionaly:

-Tidy
-Quiet/Considerate
-Never at home; busy; independent

Moreover, I customize my response to the ad. I leave contact info, etc.

The one guy who showed me his place told me he found someone else who was "a better fit."

How can that be? I've got all the ideal qualities.

In fact, I'm only moving because my current apt has a rat infestation.

What can I do? Finding a job has been easier than this!

[ENTP]

The more I try to deal with people in any way, the more I want to take an uzi into a crowded place full of the animals. The only thing that stops me is the law. It's like I get treated like **** no matter what. I'd really just like to move onto a deserted island.

**** them all.

/rant

[Le Roi]

Originally Posted by ENTP

The more I try to deal with people in any way, the more I want to take an uzi into a crowded place full of the animals. The only thing that stops me is the law. It's like I get treated like **** no matter what. I'd really just like to move onto a deserted island.

**** them all.

/rant

Do you think people could subconsciously feel that vibe from you, and thus subconsciously stay away from wanting to rent to you?

What is your relationship with your current apartment managers?

[ENTP]

Originally Posted by Le Roi

Do you think people could subconsciously feel that vibe from you, and thus subconsciously stay away from wanting to rent to you?

What is your relationship with your current apartment managers?

Yeah, um. I don't really believe in vibes hocus pocus, and I'm pretty sure they don't radiate out the text of my email. Even in-person, my body language is fine.

The relationship with the apt managers is fine - I'm only moving out because of the rats.

[Le Roi]

Heh, just because you don't believe it, doesn't mean it's not there.

[ENTP]

Update: I just called someone (whom I emailed) - and according to her, I didn't seem "social" enough, because I overly emphasized being busy/independent.

However, despite wasting 20 minutes on the phone with her, she said she had to speak with other candidates and decide on who'd get to see the place. In other words, I didn't make the cut.

****ing hell. I'll just live under a bridge and save enough money to buy my own island one day.

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by ENTP

Update: I just called someone (whom I emailed) - and according to her, I didn't seem "social" enough, because I overly emphasized being busy/independent.

However, despite wasting 20 minutes on the phone with her, she said she had to speak with other candidates and decide on who'd get to see the place. In other words, I didn't make the cut.

****ing hell. I'll just live under a bridge and save enough money to buy my own island one day.

Maybe they won't rent to you because you're a dick?

Just a possibility.

Originally Posted by ENTP

The more I try to deal with people in any way, the more I want to take an uzi into a crowded place full of the animals. The only thing that stops me is the law. It's like I get treated like **** no matter what. I'd really just like to move onto a deserted island.

**** them all.

/rant

Aren't ENTP's supposed to be good at dealing with other people?

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

Maybe they won't rent to you because you're a dick?

Just a possibility.

I wouldn't doubt this gets deleted, but it sure gave me my biggest laugh of the day so far

ENTP -- first off, there's probably a fair bit of competition for those places, so if they find someone who's a better fit, there's no reason to want to go off with an uzi.

How about you post an example of an introductory e-mail here?

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Le Roi

Heh, just because you don't believe it, doesn't mean it's not there.

Agreed. Sometimes I get a very "off" impression when I talk to people. I often can't say what it is, and for that reason, I don't listen to my intuition and continue to communicate with them. This is always a mistake. I go with that feeling now.

ENTP: Is the rat infestation building-wide, or just your apartment? Can you trap them? What about getting a cat?

[ENTP]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

Maybe they won't rent to you because you're a dick?

Just a possibility.




Aren't ENTP's supposed to be good at dealing with other people?

Maybe I'm venting, and maybe I totally have a right to? Seriously, when you come home every night to turning on a light and watching 10-15 rats scatter towards your kitchen walls, then talk to me about "being a dick." I'm desperate to gtfo of this place.

It should be obvious that I don't go on swearing rampages in front of the people themselves.

And no, I don't think I'm ENTP after all. I think I'm an INFP right now. But I was "professionally" diagnosed ESTJ by an MBTI practitioner, which is how I first heard of it. So I think the theory itself is pointless bunk.

[ENTP]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Agreed. Sometimes I get a very "off" impression when I talk to people. I often can't say what it is, and for that reason, I don't listen to my intuition and continue to communicate with them. This is always a mistake. I go with that feeling now.

ENTP: Is the rat infestation building-wide, or just your apartment? Can you trap them? What about getting a cat?

Building wide, outside, and in the garage. Exterminators, traps, and cats haven't been able to get rid of them.

And I don't understand this vibe thing - it causes unfair judgments, and I think it's a vague form of discrimination. And I've always gotten the job for every single interview I've been on, so idk why it's so hard to convince people to TAKE my money and allow me to do nothing besides rest my head at night.

Personally, every time I try going with my gut, I'm wrong. So I don't make unfair judgments. It should be all about facts, and if all else equal, first come, first serve.

I was up until 3AM jumping on each new listing as they came up on Craigslist.

[ENTP]

Another thing with the vibe thing - I have friends, a boyfriend (no I don't want to crash with any of them, though they've offered - I don't like being dependent like that), etc.

So I know my vibe can't be totally ****ed up. How could people possibly sense my frustration? I always put on a smile.

Oh, and I have excellent OCD-worthy hygiene, not that it'd be relevant via email anyway. Lol

Originally Posted by moonrambler

ENTP -- first off, there's probably a fair bit of competition for those places, so if they find someone who's a better fit, there's no reason to want to go off with an uzi.

How about you post an example of an introductory e-mail here?

Will do, as soon as I get to my laptop (on my phone now).

[danas]

Originally Posted by Le Roi

Do you think people could subconsciously feel that vibe from you, and thus subconsciously stay away from wanting to rent to you?

Plus you are a great manifester. You are making statements "NOBODY will rent to me" very much charged with feelings of certainty, and the universes reply is "OK- so it be"

If you want things to change: Make the statement "EVERYONE wants to rent to me" charge it with feelings of certainty, and the universe will reply "OK- so it be" same answer, different outcome.

[moonrambler]

Maybe that rage you're expressing here that originally made you seem not very likeable isn't so much directed at the people who aren't renting to you but at your current living situation and the rodents, which would be understandable the way you describe it. Maybe?

[ENTP]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

Maybe that rage you're expressing here that originally made you seem not very likeable isn't so much directed at the people who aren't renting to you but at your current living situation and the rodents, which would be understandable the way you describe it. Maybe?

Yeah, I guess. People have a right to like whomever they want. I just wish all decisions were made objectively.

My rage is more at myself if anything, that I just wasn't blessed with the charm to persuade anyone. While others schmooze and ooze charisma, I have to fight viciously and work my ass off for anything in life.

I don't think it's because I'm ugly either. (I have a pic)

[bluestar]

Er....might be easier and cheaper to get Pest Control in?

[falcan]

Call it a vibe, body language or aura, but people are damn good at feeling it. It's a wonder you still didn't find out If you are frustrated or negative they sure do feel it and it draws them away...I know, it's too simple to be true..

[ZephyrusX]

Are you willing to work on your presentation in order to come across as more sociable? Are you willing to learn to be more sociable, if you are not already?

Presentation is important. It doesn't really matter if you want to call it a vibe or something else. It doesn't even matter whether the impression you give others is wrong. All that matters is whether you effectively communicate the message that you want to give others.

Originally Posted by ENTP

Update: I just called someone (whom I emailed) - and according to her, I didn't seem "social" enough, because I overly emphasized being busy/independent.

However, despite wasting 20 minutes on the phone with her, she said she had to speak with other candidates and decide on who'd get to see the place. In other words, I didn't make the cut.

****ing hell. I'll just live under a bridge and save enough money to buy my own island one day.

[ENTP]

Originally Posted by bluestar

Er....might be easier and cheaper to get Pest Control in?

Tried it. Tried 3 different companies, and while it temporarily decreased the number, the population always boomed with a vengeance.

I just came home to freshen up, and lo and behold - found a dead rat in the shower. I can't take this anymore...

[Annie Zero]

Originally Posted by ENTP

I'm in San Francisco - I'm trying to find a place to live for $2500 a month or under. (Here, that entails studios or roommates.)

oh my jesus christ i could live off that sort of money for a year o______o

...

Er, sadly I have nothing to contribute.

Though you sound like you could make use of taking up meditation or something similar. If the whole "vibe" talk is true, then it might be helpful. Are you stressed? Even slightly? May that be affecting your ability to instinctively know how to act with other people?

[aelle]

Originally Posted by ENTP

idk why it's so hard to convince people to TAKE my money and allow me to do nothing besides rest my head at night.

I think this is your problem. In my experience, this is not what people who are looking for a flatmate or a tenant are looking for in candidates. If you've been so good in the job market, you probably -consciously or not- understand very well the needs and fears of recruiters and are able to reassure them. How about you do the same for the housing market?

I'd google "roommate horror story" to get a feel of where your interviewers are coming from. I don't think anyone who has a room to rent is utopic enough to hope to become besties with their new roommate, but being more or less certain that the new person who will live with them isn't a psychopath, won't do drugs in the living room, won't steal from them, won't be so dirty they end up with a roach infestation, and won't generally make them uncomfortable to live in their own apartment is not too much to ask. Now do your best to convey that you fit the picture.

[rawxstasy]

I have to fight viciously and work my ass off for anything in life

I'm sorry you feel this way. This can't be an enjoyable way to live.

I hope you find something soon.

[ENTP]

OK. Here is a typical response. Certain bits were edited, obviously...

Please critique and see where I'm going wrong?

-------------------


Hi ******* -

My name is Jennifer. I'm a marketing manager, working in the INSERTNEIGHBORHOOD - employed full-time, so always out the house and always financially stable.

The reason I'm moving out of my current place is to relocate closer to work. Your place is very conveniently located, and moreover, it looks absolutely gorgeous.

As mentioned, I'm a busy professional, but when I am home, I'm very tidy, considerate and friendly. I don't smoke, no pets, no children, and no additional guests. Just me.

I'd be delighted to check out the place at your soonest convenience. I've got excellent credit (will provide you a report), proof of income, and the move-in cost upfront. If all goes well, I'll plan on moving in right on the listed date. I don't plan on bringing any heavy furniture - just my belongings and a small bed.

My number is listed below - feel free to leave a message as well if there's no answer.

Thanks!
Jennifer
xxx-xxx-xxxx

[danas]

Originally Posted by ENTP

OK. Here is a typical response. Certain bits were edited, obviously...

Please critique and see where I'm going wrong?

-------------------


Hi ******* -

My name is Jennifer. I'm a marketing manager, working in the INSERTNEIGHBORHOOD - employed full-time, so always out the house and always financially stable.

The reason I'm moving out of my current place is to relocate closer to work. Your place is very conveniently located, and moreover, it looks absolutely gorgeous.

As mentioned, I'm a busy professional, but when I am home, I'm very tidy, considerate and friendly. I don't smoke, no pets, no children, and no additional guests. Just me.

I'd be delighted to check out the place at your soonest convenience. I've got excellent credit (will provide you a report), proof of income, and the move-in cost upfront. If all goes well, I'll plan on moving in right on the listed date. I don't plan on bringing any heavy furniture - just my belongings and a small bed.

My number is listed below - feel free to leave a message as well if there's no answer.

Thanks!
Jennifer
xxx-xxx-xxxx

Although I dont see anything inherently wrong with this, you dont sound like much fun. Almost machine like- all you do is work and you dont make a mess. you seem cold, frigid. Not very passionate. Ive highlighted all the words that made me sense this.
I would not want to live with you either .. sorry

Why not write something warmer about you, add something like-
I love to cook once in a while, I love plants, good movies....I dont own a pet but I love animals, so if you do thats fine etc...

So many times you've mentioned work, add some love instead....
That way sound more like a human being than a machine.

[ENTP]

Originally Posted by danas

Although I dont see anything inherently wrong with this, you dont sound like much fun. Almost machine like- all you do is work and you dont make a mess. you seem cold, frigid. Not very passionate. Ive highlighted all the words that made me sense this.
I would not want to live with you either .. sorry

Why not write something warmer about you, add something like-
I love to cook once in a while, I love plants, good movies....I dont own a pet but I love animals, so if you do thats fine etc...

So many times you've mentioned work, add some love instead....
That way sound more like a human being than a machine.

Lol! I figure people looking for roommates just want to save money - it's a business transaction, not eHarmony.

Maybe I'm mistaken? I could've written about my hobbies and such, but I didn't see the relevance.

[moonrambler]

Are you doing better with responses to your e-mail than you are after talking with the person who's renting? I didn't see anything wrong with the e-mail, especially when it doesn't involve a roommate. I'd love to rent to someone like you. Although when it's a roommate situation, who knows what kind of person they're looking for and feel they could get along with.

The one and only thing that would disconcert me is the line "no additional guests." I think you mean you don't have anyone stay for the weekend or whatever, but it kind of comes off like nobody will ever come visit you. Which would look like you mean you don't have any friends.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by ENTP

I just wish all decisions were made objectively.

There's no such thing. People necessarily use all kinds of criteria for choosing someone to live with or to trust with their property. Not all of those criteria are facts and figures and receipts.

You're never trying for these things in a vacuum. You're always in competition with other people. If all of the others trying out for the same role or a job or an apartment isn't as desirable for the position as you are, then you get it. If even one of the people you're competing against is really good, or really charismatic, or knows the director, or any number of other possibilities, well...

Originally Posted by ENTP

I just wasn't blessed with the charm to persuade anyone. While others schmooze and ooze charisma, I have to fight viciously and work my ass off for anything in life.

That's quite a reality you're creating for yourself. (Let me guess. You don't believe in that crap. And that's fine, but nevertheless, what you tell yourself about your reality is pretty much what you end up experiencing. A slight adjustment of perspective can make a world of difference.)

[Criseyde]

I kind of agree with danas. Your email looks fine, but it lacks warmth. I'd want to know a bit about a potential roommate besides basically their resume. Especially since I've had some really yuck roommate situations before. There's no guarantee that this wouldn't happen anyway if I got to know the person, but I know from experience that even relatively clean people who have good credentials can be miserable to live with. I'd want to be able to talk to you sometimes when we were there together, for example. So what would you talk about? What do you like to do? Who are you besides your job?

I hope this helps.

[Brutha]

Maybe I'm venting, and maybe I totally have a right to?

Yes, you have a right to feel bad. Nobody want to take it from you.

The question is whether it helps you to archive what you want to archive.

[hervens]

$2500 a month for a studio appartment???? are you kidding me?!! What's the minimum salary over there?
No joke, but if I were you, I would move somewhere else, or possibly a small town close to San francisco if it exists??
Cause... You are getting ripped off!.
Here in montreal, you can get a small apartment for as low as $400/month heating included, and montreal's a pretty big city.
Anyhow, best of lucks.. And yeah, I would really consider living under a bridge, or in a car =p