Money... ugh...

[Cochonette]

I am terrible at asking for things, negotiating prices. I am not good with money. I have about $1800 in the bank right now, am about to move into new place which is like $650/month... if all goes well, will be working about 25hrs/week at $9/hr for the summer. But not sure about my other expenses... food is like $30-40/week (I've been spending a lot more due to lack of time to go to supermarket, but summer's different)... I want to go to the dentist and have a cavity removed this summer (could be expensive) and maybe meet with a PD coach one or a few times... then gotta pay next semester's expenses, though hopefully it's not much. Then, the room I am moving into, the girl (an acquaintance I'm on good terms with) offers me her mattress for $100 and says we can negotiate the price if it's too steep... so I'm like, I want to ask for cheaper, but I've always felt like I'm doing something wrong if I ask for things. Like $100 will not kill me, so it's wrong to negotiate.

Now, I have issues with some of the things people on this forum (including Steve) say about money, so I'm not sure how much I'm going to like the responses, but I am open to new ideas, especially since I don't know much about finances on a personal level... anyway, my question is, does worrying about negotiating a price down like $20-30 mean I am going against the "abundance mindset"? (but I don't really get the "abundance mindset" to begin with, although it makes sense on some vague level to me) I am not really sure what positive I am focusing on, other than thinking in terms of principles about money? Save money in the long-term, feel more secure? I doubt my life is going to come down to $20-30, and if I were really in trouble I could probably ask my mom to help me (she doesn't have a lot of money, but she works a steady job... I don't like asking her for things either, but my parents are probably where I get this mindset, somehow)... but if I always look at it like money is nothing, I'll have even less...

I am just not sure how I should think about money on a personal level... I could do the "ready-fire-aim," but I feel like I don't learn anything that way and don't have any better idea of where to aim after I spend money. I guess I should look into this "abundance mindset" stuff more, but what Steve says about surrounding yourself by "abundance-minded people" doesn't make much sense to me... I don't think money is just going to come into my pocket by searching for wealthy people, and I am surrounded by them as it is. I go to one of the most expensive universities in the country (like $53,000/yr), and almost all of my financial aid is covered because almost everyone here needs it less than I do.

But not all the rich kids even have an abundance mindset, I guess... one of my friends who knows I'm relatively poor, and her divorced parents each live in giant, super-expensive houses and are wealthy accountants whose family wealth goes back generations, wanted me to pay half the price for the cab we took due to her being late for the bus... so her mom wouldn't get angry at her (her mom is a nice person). I thought that was weird, but I paid half anyway.

[Weena]

Maybe there are a few things you could look at... Did your parents raise you with limiting beliefs on money? Do you feel that people with an abundance mindset are "bad" somehow? Are you sure you make a difference between "rich kid" and "abundance mindset"?

To elaborate a little bit, i grew up with parents who had very limiting beliefs about money. They didn't have much and managed to have debts every month. It was quite a good example for us children though, as three out of four are now doing well (only one of my brother reproduces the debt thing ). To this day my father still whinges "I don't have money, i can't save any money" (when he does earn a lot and his partner even more... but anyway...). So if you have had a weird example growing up, keep in mind you can choose to have different beliefs and do better/manage your money better.

Also, an abundance mindset is not always being wealthy per se. There are wealthy people who always complain about money and about everything, that's not an abundance mindset. The abundance mindset is to know that you are safe and have/will have plenty. And being grateful for that doesn't hurt either . When i've been through times where i felt were a bit unlucky i kept thinking there's plenty coming soon. I also let the universe surprise me . There was a month last year were money kept coming from all different sources just before we took a holiday. I had set the intention we were going to have a good break no matter what and the holidays paid for themselves through those lucky turns of events.

The thing is, there is abundance on this planet and you can access it. Why would an other person be more entitled to financial security than you? We are all equal in the eyes of Source, so...ask and you shall receive (i soooo sound like "the secret" right now, forgive me for that).

Hope you will work it out, beliefs about money can easily be changed.

[SatvikBeri]

I don't think you're at a point where focusing on abundance is helpful or useful to you. The issue here seems more like limiting beliefs about money or about yourself, and it's hard to tell exactly what limiting beliefs you may have over the Internet. For example, the issue could be that you believe wanting money is evil, or it could be that you feel you don't deserve money. And there are many other possibilities.

If you have any process for examining your own beliefs, use it on your view towards money. Try asking your mind what it thinks about money while meditating.

The goal isn't to develop a specific viewpoint on money, but rather to release the negative power that money may have over you. Whatever attitude you have towards money is fine so long as it doesn't make you feel bad (in the long run).

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

But not all the rich kids even have an abundance mindset, I guess... one of my friends who knows I'm relatively poor, and her divorced parents each live in giant, super-expensive houses and are wealthy accountants whose family wealth goes back generations, wanted me to pay half the price for the cab we took due to her being late for the bus... so her mom wouldn't get angry at her (her mom is a nice person). I thought that was weird, but I paid half anyway.

Lol..

Well, look at it this way. If she had paid for you, that would be socialism

Okay just kidding. But still I think it's fair to pay half if you rode in the cab also. I'm sure there are people poorer than you, and if they were in the same situation, it would be fair for you to ask for half.

Anyways, I think the "abundance mindset" is a load of bs. I hate the word "abundance" because it is oh-so-very vague and ambiguous. I prefer down-to-earth, matter-of-fact statements like "I need $1000 in cash", not "I need more abundance!" (wtf does 'abundance' mean anyways? You cannot define it!)

One thing I have learned is that your inner world changes in an instant when you make a decision. Then, your outter world slowly changes to match your inner world. If you experience inner freedom first (by making decisions like to forgive someone, to let go of judgments and grudges, etc), then your outer world will slowly but surely change to match your inner world.

So just be logical about things. Sit down and set a budget for yourself if you want. Get rid of expenses you don't need, etc. And if you don't like hearing things like "abundance mindset" then just set that crap aside and get to work on your own life.

[Cochonette]

^So you think I should've paid for her to be late, just because I rode in the cab with her? Actually, now that I think about it, it would've cost more total if I took the bus and she took the cab, so what I should've done was take the cab and pay the price of the bus to her.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I want to budget, but it just seems overwhelming... I don't have a steady job as a college student, nor a steady place to live or buy groceries, so it's hard to say how much money I will spend (or make) in a month.

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

^So you think I should've paid for her to be late, just because I rode in the cab with her? Actually, now that I think about it, it would've cost more total if I took the bus and she took the cab, so what I should've done was take the cab and pay the price of the bus to her.

I missed the part about her being late for the bus

[InterfaceLeader]

You should make a budget. You know approximately how much you're going to earn, so allocate it to where it needs to go, and give yourself a number for 'misc.' items like home furnishings.

If she's told you she is fine with negotiating, then negotiate! She's probably gone for the highest price she can expect figuring you'll negotiate it down.

You need to feel like you're in control of your money.

Get Rich Slowly - Personal Finance That Makes Cents
I Will Teach You To Be Rich: Personal finance and entrepreneurship tips from a Stanford graduate

[Cochonette]

Thanks! I will check out those links. A friend told me to negotiate, so I did. Waiting for response.

Edit: She said my offer was perfect and that she didn't like taking money from people she knew, and then she offered me her leftover food for when she moves out. lol

[ar81]

Buy a pocket booklet and write every expense.
After one week, analyze how much you spent in every type of item.
See if you can reduce something.

Also, when you buy you are making decisions.
Ask yourself "do I really need this?".
Never go to buy with your family, or when hungry.
If possible make a tour to get 3 quotes with prices and then a second tour to buy.

Money is a very abstract game.
It was not so abstract when people used coins and bills.
Every decision will affect your "digital score" (money) in the bank.
Make wise decisions.

I also hate to be concerned about money.
So my dislike led me to define a behavior that will not cost me money.

Think of it. What can you do to enjoy things that could be free?
Go for free things, not things you must pay for.
You will be amazed to discover that the best things in life are free.

[InterfaceLeader]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

Edit: She said my offer was perfect and that she didn't like taking money from people she knew, and then she offered me her leftover food for when she moves out. lol

Very happy for you! I'm glad it worked out And free food is always good!