Mediation with former employer

[Moxie]

Anyone ever be a part of a mediation talk before? I am scheduled for a mediation tomorrow with my former employer and I'm scared to death.

I'm not going to have my own lawyer at a mediation. From all the things I read, bringing a lawyer is a 50/50 chance depending on how well they are willing to advocate for you. I decided that since I can't know how well a lawyer I've only met for an hour (if I'm lucky) would advocate for me (I read some awful stories), that I will have to be my own best advocate. On the other hand, they will undoubtedly have one.

I need some words! I've received tons of great advice, and am most nervous about how to deflect questions. If they're mediating because they are trying to glean information, what words can I say to sidestep them? I'm looking for noncommittal words to say, like, "That's an interesting statement," and also how do I move things from noncommittal to talking about how they are willing to settle (assuming they are!).

I could use some encouragement too, if anyone is feeling up to it.

[rei]

Wow, Moxie, good luck with your process!

Are they mediating charges or complaints you filed against them?

In my own legal work a few years ago, they did a lot of twisting of things... mental health came up when it was actually unrelated to the issue... so be prepared for some interesting attempts at making connections.

I do not feel like I have the expertise to offer much specific suggestions here, other than to take a deep breath before you answer anything that is meant to rile you up! And remember you are an awesome person no matter what happens with this

(In my own case, I did have a lawyer... he didn't help much... but having him helped me feel a bit less intimidated.)

[Moxie]

Yes, these are charges I brought up. I'm really nervous of those attempts by them. I know they're liable to say really mean, nasty, untrue things, and I'm nervous of it. I understand that they will do it in order to make my case seem less important, but I know it's not. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. My tummy is really upset today too.

[rei]

They may or may not get nasty. If it is mediation then it seems there is an alleged goal of "working it out" and not "attack her so she will drop the charges."
But I suppose realistically it could go either way. Can you bring a strong friend with you for support so you don't feel like it is many against one? Or have you thought of changing your mind and seeing about a legal representative? (Might not be too late)

Either way... deep breaths. Meditate Eat a reasonable amount of your fav food if your belly will take it. Visualize yourself in a safe space. Call on your guides and God for some comfort

[SallyMays]

It's always an unpleasant situation, that's true. The only advice I can think of is a basic one that no doubt you have already heard from others: just get in there, speak your facts in detail and explain in no uncertain terms every detail of the situation + how it affected you personally.

Tonight before you go to bed, be sure to review your case (as lawyers do), just to give you a bit of self-confidence on your preparedness... every bit helps. Be commited to dealing with whatever comes the best way you can... it's the best one can hope for, after all.

[Angela]

Moxie, what kind of results do you want to get out of this mediation? What would be the ideal win/win outcome?

Focus on that, and if your thoughts move towards that other stuff, just gently shift your attention back to win/win.

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by Moxie

Yes, these are charges I brought up. I'm really nervous of those attempts by them. I know they're liable to say really mean, nasty, untrue things, and I'm nervous of it. I understand that they will do it in order to make my case seem less important, but I know it's not. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. My tummy is really upset today too.

I have a class taught by a lawyer who does mediation and that's like half of what we learn about


Basically our teacher/lawyer said that in mediation, both sides will put forth the most incriminating evidence that they possibly can. In this case, your employer will try to bring forth all the reasons why you should not sue them, like maybe telling you that they will sue you for defamation or something like that.

Basically the goal of the mediator is to reach a solution that can satisfy both parties. Mediators are supposed to be unbiased and simply guide the process of finding a solution.

If the charges you are bringing forth are legitimate, the employer will probably eventually offer you a deal of some sort (ie cash settlement) for you not to sue them for even more money.

If you have any hard evidence of the charges being real, like a witness or something like that, it is probably in your best interest to bring that forth during mediation. If your employer knows that they will not be able to win a lawsuit, they are more likely to settle and at a higher price.

[blueflame]

Were I in your position (I am a law student, not a lawyer, so this is my disclaimer), I would be very cautious that the other side in the mediation might attempt to pressure you into an unfair agreement or try to take advantage of your lack of legal expertise. I would recommend going into it as well versed in your rights and the details/legal strength of your case as you can be. But, the good thing about a mediation is that the two parties are there to come up with an agreeable solution for both sides. It is also likely that your employer is fearful that you have a good cause of action against them, so they will probably want very much to settle this between the two of you without further legal implications. Good luck and stand your ground

[Moxie]

Thank you all for your advice.