other people opinions getting me down

[MattUK]

It seems that when people ask me what i do and i say "affiliate marketting" they naturally assume i'm a jobless guy who bums around, and that because i'm not at a job i'm a bum. It's got to the point that im now going for interviews not necessarily because i want to, but just to break the stigma - do you guys have this issue?

[da1prophet]

Originally Posted by MattUK

It seems that when people ask me what i do and i say "affiliate marketting" they naturally assume i'm a jobless guy who bums around, and that because i'm not at a job i'm a bum. It's got to the point that im now going for interviews not necessarily because i want to, but just to break the stigma - do you guys have this issue?

If you're making a good living and have a lifestyle that you enjoy at some point you just need to not worry what other people think. I've not had a "real job" for over a decade now and I used to get that vibe too...of course any negative reaction is usually just misplaced jealousy that I made more money, set my own hours and that my "commute" involves walking from my bedroom to my office. Most of the desk jockeys out there would love to have that kind of live, but don't have the intelligence, persistence or courage to go for it.

Another answer is to change the people you associate with--my peer group consists of other self employed entrepreneurs and when they ask someone what they do they react negatively to those who have a traditional job.

Bottom line--you need to reframe your own perceptions of what you do and not let others negativity bring you down. If its at the point that you're actually going on interviews due to others perception of you its definitely a problem...

[Dani]

d1p has it spot on.

I have said this a few times: Don't listen to other peoples advice unless you want their life.

I will do you a deal, you can have my job and will take your affiliate sites and income and I will make the noble sacrifice of being a bum for you.

ok?

[Mike]

I just quit my job in December. I have been working pretty hard the past month. I sleep in a bit, but I also work well into the night.

Most people around me have regular jobs and everyone complains that they are tired from working all day and having to get up early. The connotation of course is that I am not working and I have it easy.

The reason I quit was to concentrate on my online business which is not necessarily easy, but I do have the flexibility.

I think you just need to hang out at forums like this to meet like minded people.

[Isis Kali]

Get new friends. They're going to bring you down. There doesn't seem to be any understanding or support in those relationships, and there are so many fun, young entrepreneurs out there waiting for a great guy like you to hang out with! Hey, if these particular people want to wallow in their own disgruntlement, bully for them...but not for you.

[da1prophet]

Here's some things to keep in mind. At one point Frank Sinatra couldn't get a gig singing. Bill Gates was just a college dropout. Consider the implications had they thought "gee, other people don't think I'm doing well. Maybe I should quit singing/go back to college?"

Another great story--while in business school a guy named Fred Smith got a C on a business plan project. A few years later he took that idea and turned it into a little company you may have heard of called FedEx. He could have easily thought "my idea stinks" based on his professor's assessment and tossed it into the trash can. He dismissed this negative perception and things worked out pretty well for him...

[Mayo]

I personally have rejected social scorn that has to be applied to my personality, i didn't work a 'propper' job for more than six months in a row. I had more than three failed business ventures, bootstrapped almost all of them, received many help from my family(i.e. only from my mom - one time financially, and TONS of time morally).

What you have to ask yourself is: for WHOM am i doing what i'm doing? Is it for to show off my self, or is it to live my own life and don't even bother what others are saying. I know this problem too, and it's a hard act on your psyche.

If you want to show off your success, then don't show it until you don't make at least 100K-200K$US and can show than new sleek Mercedes SLK (^_^). Until then you have to work with all of your mind and vigor on your business to generate more and more money in a clean civilized manner.

Until you show those dorks what you can achieve financially and mentally i hold all my lucky fingers for you and not only you but all those people in similar situation like you.

It's a though world, now get though and get it GOING! (^_^)

Oh, and when you get that SLK cabrio and your friends ask you if you can give them a lift tell them that you are running late for a "affiliate millionaires meting convention"; even if your only at the 1/5th of that MM!(^_^)

[SergiuB]

Da1Prophet is totally right. From me I'll say: Listen to other people's advices, but don't apply them to your life unless you think they're good.

[Alex]

A quote from Do Not Share Your Goals at AlexShalman.com/blog this might be up your ally.

The obvious downside of these comments is that they suck away your motivation. Sure, you may say you are not affected by what other people say and that hearing negative, pessimistic remarks does not affect you. You may not even realize it but being constantly scrutinized will subconsciously weaken the commitments that you made to your goals.

The majority of people will sink when relentlessly facing social bombardment. The few will be fueled by it and work harder in order to prove themselves. Regardless of your immediate reaction you are exposing yourself to other people’s viewpoints and thus at risk for adopting them. If you aren’t adopting the winning mentality than you’re not doing everything you can in your journey of personal development on the road towards success.

[hotwired]

The posts before me are very inspirational, and I hope I can add something! Congratulations on doing life on YOUR terms. I work about 20 hours a week during the winter and 30 during the warm months and make plenty of money. I had to banish the "nobody ever got rich working x number of hours" ... and changed it into .... "Cool!! I'll be the first!" - And as far as telling people, based on what I've read and exprienced, my thought is ... avoid the doubt more than anything. In other words, in my life, I don't share stuff if I don't want to have to deal with the doubt. I used to think that it was helpful to face people's doubts so I could get stronger. But I don't believe that any longer. Now I'm trusting myself and seeking input when I want it. Nice job on your life by the way!

[norbert]

Matt, listen only to those who are like what you want to become.

[MattUK]

Thanks for all the positive replies. It's basically people my age (20) and elders calling me a bum & it's got to the point where i don't even try to justify what im trying to achieve through affiliate marketting, which is to earn money passively so i can train full time as an athlete, giving me a greater chance of achieving my lifes ambition to be a pro athlete...

But yeah, it's hard to convince those that i care about to believe that i'm a driven individual while im not "at work" or at a "job" rather

Thanks guys

[norbert]

Matt, you are 20 and already discovered what you want to do with your life. Now take a look at those elders: I guess they still have no single idea what to do with it! My best friend was also 20 and he was into music production, djing and sound studios. He was very talented, still, his environment kept telling him to get a job and live the average life (I'm sure they wanted the best though). When he got 100% committed, left school and declared that this is what he's going to do, his family finally accepted it. They didn't understand but they accepted it. His whole life has transformed, he got much more committed and his family started to support him instead of holding him back.

I strongly believe that your plans are realistic and you're that kind of person who can make it happen. The other pro athletes are waiting for you, never stop, never. I wish everybody was like that.

[da1prophet]

Originally Posted by MattUK

Thanks for all the positive replies. It's basically people my age (20) and elders calling me a bum & it's got to the point where i don't even try to justify what im trying to achieve through affiliate marketting, which is to earn money passively so i can train full time as an athlete, giving me a greater chance of achieving my lifes ambition to be a pro athlete...

But yeah, it's hard to convince those that i care about to believe that i'm a driven individual while im not "at work" or at a "job" rather

Thanks guys

Matt, basically it sounds like you've got it figured out and those who criticize you are either jealous or clueless. And jealous or clueless people are the types who's opinion should matter to you at all.

Kudos to you for chasing your dream of being a pro athlete. Just out of curiosity, what sport do you do? You're definitely doing the right thing--its sort of an old cliche' but as you progress through life you don't regret the things you tried and that didn't work out, you regret the things you never tried.

As far as convincing those you care about I can definitely relate. I think that's one of the reasons I ended up getting divorced--my ex-wife was always concerned about what others thought about *me* professionally. All of her friends had husbands that did traditional jobs--one guy was even a Viagra salesman (for Pfizer) and she kept pestering me to see if he could get me a gig as a drug salesman. It was sort of strange, since I obviously enjoyed what I did, make more money than her friends' spouses who had "traditional" jobs and she was self employed herself. Getting divorced was hard at first, but longterm I'm much better off.

In other words, as some of the other posters have noted if its your friends/significant other who have been giving you grief at some point you may need to reassess those relationships.

Obviously family is a bit of a different issue--you can't exactly find new parents, for example. I guess this isn't exactly a unique issue as children for generations have been concerned about making their parents proud. Its important, however, to not let their perceptions of reality determine how you live your life. My dad is a good case in point--for most of his early life he worked for other people and was very dismissive about self employment which he didn't consider a "real job". He was downsized in his early 50's and he started his own business which ended up making him more money and giving him more freedom than he'd ever imagined. His tune changed completely, and he frequently says that if he had it to do over again he'd never even think of working for someone else.

I guess we all want to make our parents proud and have them think of us as "successful" but ultimately you have to remember that its your life and you have to live it in a way that's best for you. At the same time, it can be very difficult emotionally to have your parents wanting you live one way and knowing that you have other plans. It took me a number of years, but I finally figured out that if my parents were concerned about my path in life the best way to deal with it is to listen to what they had to say and then do what I wanted to do in the first place.

So I understand where you're coming from, but you have to remember that your life is your own. Doing things like going on interviews to "keep up appearances" actually detracts from your own goals in life. In other words, it doesn't really do anyone--particularly you--any good.

If you read biographies of or listen to interviews with successful people you'll seldom hear them say that their parents were supportive from the start. This is especially true if their discipline is risky, competitive or out of the ordinary. As I've mentioned elsewhere I'm a big boxing fan, and there's countless championship level fighters who admit that their parents didn't want them to go into boxing. Frank Sinatra's dad tried to talk him out of going into music and for awhile he worked at a shipyard for essentially the same reasons that you've mentioned--because his dad thought it was a better idea.

I can come up with plenty of examples but you get the point. Don't let your family or anyone else get your focus off of your goals...