Becoming a stay at home dad.

[RobD]

With my dislike of my job and the problems with daycare my wife and I thought about possibly me staying home and taking care of our daughter. My wife makes enough money to get by plus she does get a commission that helps. Looking at how much we can save by less gas and daycare it sounds good.

What I am having problems with is of course the stereotype that Dads don't stay home. Or everyone will assume I got laid off. I think maybe just trying it till my daughter starts school. She is 2 right now. And the whole time maybe I can improve myself and work towards a career I will enjoy. But, I am worried I will get bored or become very lazy.

Probably the next few months the wife and I are going to think about it. I just wanted an outsiders advice or even better other stay at home fathers. My male co-workers mostly think it would be nice to stay home and raise their kids when I talk about it. I don't think they know I am seriously considering this. And I doubt they would really consider doing it.

[Inthon]

YouTube - Stay At Home Dad

could not resist

[Holistic Star]

There's no reason why this won't work and with the right support and good communication you could really make a success of this if it's right for you.

I don't have children myself, but most of my close friends have children under 5 and I see what they go through. What I see really works for them is the networks they have created for themselves to support each other. The couple of friends who opted out of the network have really struggled emotionally with raising their children. It's not that they don't love them, but being on their own with the kids the majority of the time is emotionally tough.
On the other hand, my friends who have a scheduled activity for every weekday are thriving. An activity might be going to the park, or going to a parent and baby group for an hour, or walking into town - anything that gets you out of the house and preferably allows you to chat to other adults for a bit.
I doubt you will have time to become lazy whilst looking after a 2 year old!

As for what other people think, well would you really want the petty opinions of other people to come between what is right for you and your family.

[borntosucceed]

Getting bored with a two year old? Cannot happen. We have a 7 month old baby girl and whilst we are not in the same scenario like you and your wife, both me and my wife work from home.

I love it and I am able to our little girl grow. My wife is a life coach and we she has a session, I take the little one for walks. Usually you other mums with their kids, but there are also quite a few dads out there.

As long as you are happy with the decision of being a stay home dad, you won't notice anyone looking at you in a funny way. After all I think many people would love to swap with you if they could!

Learning something new is a great idea and start a small business that you can do from home. If money isn't the issue, you can really take the time and learn and steadily build an additional income stream.

[Dreamline]

It depends on how you define "bored."

You can be extremely busy and mind-numbingly bored, at the same time, depending on the quality of food your brain is used to getting.

I would be more concerned with what you will put on your resume for the span of time when you weren't on someone's payroll. You presumeably won't be a stay-at-home Dad forever. For women, that gap is generally more acceptable. Don't be caught surprised if it is frowned upon by some potential employers.

I would also be more concerned with how you view yourself with relation to "career." Many men identify so strongly with what they DO, they do not feel they have an identity separate from their work. In that case, you would be setting yourself up for intense inadequacy problems and should address that question before you decide.

Otherwise, I feel that a parent raising their own young children rather than outside help is a really great situation if you have the opportunity, as long as you both get adequate stimulation appropriate for your age levels. Jerry Springer, Judge Judy and All My Children shouldn't even make the list. If that's all you can figure out to do all day, you need a life makeover.

For some reason, it has become prohibitively expensive to put a child in daycare. You need to almost be earning on an executive level to put two in daycare at the same time. A far cry from when I got a dollar an hour to babysit....

After we fix healthcare, I suspect this will be America's next big issue.

Jennifer

[Curtis2011]

I would say definitely do not do it.

I recently read a story about how a woman left a man who had quit his job to take care of their young child. At the beginning it was a "great idea" because "she made more money than me anyways."

But at the end of it, she divorced him and even took the child. The man said "ever since I quit my job two years ago [two years before the divorce], she had stopped treating me like a man."

The thing is: women do not find it very attractive if they have to provide for their man! You are basically saying "here honey, you be the man and I'll be the woman in this relationship."

It is a bad recipe.

[runscored]

If you have the opportunity to be a stay at home dad jump on it. It has been the greatest experiencve of my life. I stayed home until my children were school age and then found part time work when they were in school. My opportunity arised from neccessity because I have a son with autism so daycare was not an option. I have had the pleasure of watching my children grow up. it has been a blast. no regrets for me. My wife and I also have a home based business that we work together and that is a lot of fun.