Finding your passion & working at it while fighting family simultaneously? Help plz!

[atleo87]

hey everyone,

i have a few questions. what is your passion? how did you find it? how long did it take you to find it? how long did it take you to turn it into what you do for a living? and did you have opposition from other people, especially family?

i'm very confused about what i should do to support myself for the future. i'm 21 years old and i feel like i should have figured it out by now. i feel "rushed."

i have SO much built energy but i dont have any idea where i should direct it. it's intensely frustrating.

currently, im building hand drums in my basement and selling them. i can keep doing this and it'll probably grow but i don't know to what extent. it might end up a complete failure or prove itself to be not enough or it might be a big success. i don't know and im scared to find out. should i stick with it til the end?

it's fun but i don't know if i want to do it forever. there's a little voice in my head that tells me it's a small distraction from my real passion, flamenco guitar.

my other conflict is that my family keeps interfering. they want me to go to school and get a safe job. my brother told me himself that he does not like what he does but that's "reality" and i should just deal with it because i need money. that is NOT a life i want to live.

even though i struggle so hard with this privately, they dont acknowledge that anything that i do is worthwhile. i should go to school, get a job, end of story. it's not that i'm against school. it's just that there really isn't any subject that appeals to me, that i would want to do for the rest of my life. so should i be going to school just to go to school? i feel like i would be distracting myself from what i really want. it's difficult to talk to my family because they wont hear any of it, especially my brother. how do i deal with this?

please help me with this!

-anthony

[robcartoons]

First of all, please don't feel that you have to feel 'rushed' to figure out how to support yourself in the future. Some people work it out quickly and for others it takes more time.

I'm not so sure how many 'safe' jobs there are any more. Many people thought they were in stable employment only to find themselves out of work and having to change their plans.

It may be your brother's 'reality' to do a job that he doesn’t like, but it doesn’t have to be yours. You get to make your own reality and, at 21, you have a lot of time to work on yours. It may not be easy creating a reality that you like, but it's yours to create even if you have to work really hard at it. I'm 36 and still working on creating my own 'reality'.

If you are already making and selling drums then it sounds to me that you're off to a good start towards creating a reality that you like. It may grow and become successful or it may not work out, however you'll definitely learn from it and develop skills. If you make money from it then the money could support you with your flamenco guitar passion. Also, if you are going about your drum making in a business-like way it may help your family when they see how you are going about it.

As for my passion, well I've enjoyed drawing cartoons throughout my life but maybe never really realized until recently that it was a passion of mine, I guess it's a classic case of not noticing something because it was under my nose the whole time. I don't make a living from it, although I have started to generate a little side income. My aim is to try and slowly increase the side income in the future, while continuing to enjoy doing it. At the moment I am able to include some of my passion in my day job, so I get the chance to practice quite a lot.

I hope some of the above is useful to you. Let us know how you get on.

Cheers

PS This is my first post, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to contribute!

[ginkgo]

If you look at my other posts you will see that I am always sending people to websites since they are free unlike a book. But this time I suggest you read a book. Some schools and colleges require it. It is Ishmael by Daniel Quinn which won a reward.

It will explain that your problem is not a problem with you but a problem with this society that started 10,000 years ago in the Fertile Triangle. Part of the societal problem is that people do not know that there was a time when this problem did not exist.

I had the same problem as you but have no advice to make it go away except marry a rich woman. I know the above was not what you were looking for but did you see The Matrix? The only solution was for Neo to recognize and leave the matrix.

[Grindin]

I think one thing you may be missing is that fact that you don't have to pick only 1! Can you not work on your drum business and start to venture and expand you mind into other areas?

I think a great mistake that is made by far too many people that I've known is thinking you must choose one thing and stick with it! Think about that...sounds disadvantagous at best. Why not have a multitude of areas you are interested in? Do you go threw 'phases'?--Were you transfer from one interest to the other? In my experience their generally are universal properties found in one field to another.

When someone comes into a new field--for example I go into computer engineering, I might well find principles from architecture, sales, management, spying on Chinese aircraft for gold and silver helpful in various instances that come up in my engineering ventures.

Just think about what you feel energetic and excited about before, during and after the fact. Thats usually your passion...

[KazeCraven]

My parents are also pretty realistic about life, though one of the things I noticed from them that I didn't hear from you is that if there is no clear pathway to passion, you'll have to do some things you don't like to create it. If you can get enough money from making drums to get a guitar and get lessons, great! If not, well you might have to pursue something you don't like for a while and save enough money to play flamenco guitar.

Also, there's really no point to going to college if you have no desire to study any of the subjects and no desire to pursue any careers that require it. But you might need to do something you don't like to make money to pursue your passion. Life isn't all fun and games, but jobs are certainly not permanent.

[Keena]

Originally Posted by Grindin

I think one thing you may be missing is that fact that you don't have to pick only 1! Can you not work on your drum business and start to venture and expand you mind into other areas?

I think a great mistake that is made by far too many people that I've known is thinking you must choose one thing and stick with it! Think about that...sounds disadvantagous at best. Why not have a multitude of areas you are interested in? Do you go threw 'phases'?--Were you transfer from one interest to the other? In my experience their generally are universal properties found in one field to another.

When someone comes into a new field--for example I go into computer engineering, I might well find principles from architecture, sales, management, spying on Chinese aircraft for gold and silver helpful in various instances that come up in my engineering ventures.

Just think about what you feel energetic and excited about before, during and after the fact. Thats usually your passion...

This is very good advice. However, there is the danger that you may become a "jack of all trades and master of none". Whatever you do though - always go with your passion! If you end up going for a "safe" (ha ha!) job you may get to the end of your life with loads of regret. Believe in yourself and go for it! Live a life of joy and passion and the Universe will send the right people/situations/things your way.

Blessings,
Keena

[atleo87]

wow, thanks for the great replies!

i liked everything i read and it certainly lifted my spirits and gave me some courage. though maybe not enough courage to argue with my brother. i'll just keep ignoring his phone calls for now.

robcartoons, awesome first post! i guess i am/will be a late bloomer. i already know i shouldn't rush but it feels good to hear it from someone else as well. good luck with your cartoons!

ginkgo, i'll try to find that book at the library. and as for the matrix, nobody in leather has ever offered any pills so i guess maybe to leave the matrix, i need to move out. lol.

grindin and keena, as a musician i know people who play many instruments but are good at none. but i also know that learning to play other instruments can help you understand your primary one more. i'll keep banging and twanging my way around and figure it out.

kazecraven, i just met someone who went to school for 15 years! it's starting to work out for him which is cool but i don't want to wait that long to live my life! i'm fine with doing stuff i dont like for awhile but i would like to look back at the bigger picture and know that i had many joyous years behind me and many more to come.

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by atleo87

hey everyone,

i have a few questions. what is your passion? how did you find it? how long did it take you to find it? how long did it take you to turn it into what you do for a living? and did you have opposition from other people, especially family?

i'm 21 years old and currently, im building hand drums in my basement and selling them. it's fun but i don't know if i want to do it forever. it's a small distraction from my real passion, flamenco guitar.

my other conflict is that my family keeps interfering. they want me to go to school and get a safe job. my brother told me himself that he does not like what he does but that's "reality" and i should just deal with it because i need money. that is NOT a life i want to live, end of story.

please help me with this! -anthony

Hi Anthony,

Sharing that I've known my 3 continuing passions since childhood, doesn't really help you. - Better is you expanding a passion, for either a product, or a Service that enough people, do both need & want to, gladly pay for.

In other words, you may have a passion for "making a certain kind of guitar", but when too many people are strapped for money in these more difficult economic times, what good is it?

Another factor to consider: some good college-counselors, can ask you questions, helping you discover many more interests, you may not have discovered yet, giving you more options... And the same can be true for taking a few college classes where such issues are open for discussion.

Your family is concerned for you, but as people are finding out, the idea of "safe"-sorts of jobs, continues changing, and dwindling in many areas, (tho not 'sick-care').
You ultimately get to choose your life, and be responsible for your choices. Thus you make your own decisions, and have them respect that.

Be well, happy & healthy!

[Keena]

Originally Posted by sk8joyful

Sharing that I've known my 3 continuing passions since childhood, doesn't really help you. - Better is you expanding a passion, for either a product, or a Service that enough people, do both need & want to, gladly pay for.

In other words, you may have a passion for "making a certain kind of guitar", but when too many people are strapped for money in these more difficult economic times, what good is it?

Remember your perspective! There are 2 views on this - the point of view of lack and fear, such as this one, or the point of view of abundance.

The Law of Attraction basically says what you intend (what you are vibrating) is what you get - like attracts like. If you enjoy playing flamenco guitar and making drums - and you believe that you are successful you will be (you are). To use sk8's example of building guitars. Certain people may not be able to afford your guitars, but perhaps they are not your target market anyway. Maybe your target market are the big name guitarists of the world who can easily afford several or many of your custom guitars!

Love and light,
Keena

[Declan JJ Lestat]

You've got some solid advice here, atleo. Your family probably don't understand exactly what you're doing and certain generations set different priorities in life. Understandable really.

But time has moved on, and when it comes down to it you have to live your life for you. So long as you're not hurting anyone and it makes you happy, then go for it! I still get stress from my family because I don't hold down a 9 to 5 - and this is in spite of bringing in a better wage than all of them put together!

I would say, however, that diverting too much of your energies to other "passions" to early in your project could be detrimental. You may be better off focussing you energies where they're most needed, rather than sharing them out amongst many areas. The eagle that chases 2 rabbits will lose both, as they say. Also, it may be interpreted by your family as a lack of commitment to your drums - and I'm sure you can imagine what they'd say about that!

That said, if going to school would work out for you - studying music for an obvious example, or even business - it could be worthwhile.

You know your situation better than any of us here, so I'm sure you'll do what's best. But whatever you do, stay true to your heart - base your decision on what your higher self tells you and what you really want to do, not on external pressures - and you'll do great!